krazzer

I've had a few experiences, but i'm not sure if it's enlightenment. In several occasions, which I could quite easily replicate, I just become the observer. I see my own thoughts and I see myself moving and doing things on autopilot. It's almost like i'm inside my own head and my body is a giant self operating robot. In a few occasions, when I meditate, I get into a very deep state. In that state I'm completely free of thoughts and I feel like everything in the real world is really far away. I am truly at peace at that moment. I think i've experienced this like 5 times in my life. I also experienced this when I was a kid, but I never understood what it was and it scared me so I got out of it very quickly. Now I really embrace it. Another experience I had as a kid was when I thought heavily about "why do I and the universe exist? Why is there anything?" then I would really experience some not of this world experience. Again, I didn't understand it, it scared me, and I got out of it quickly. Recently I tried to bring this experience back again, but I couldn't do it. I think maturity has separated me from this too much.