Etherial Cat

I'm 31 for 2 more days... so you're probably not much older than me. Which also means, you should perhaps not take my incapacity to spot your old age as a sign of youth. Damn, the daddy thing is a bit creepy though. But if that works. Good. It's quite funny, after all!

I'm sure you're not that old? I'm not sure what type of age gap @somegirl was referring to. I thought 10-20+ ?

They know it, but they'll do it anyway. A lot of them don't care about the "how", as they are desperate for the outcome. What they do is that they are putting their own interest over yours. And they don't care about what leverage they use. Age power differential, money, pick-up...

I don't think that's so uncommon. I've been disliking the attention of (much) older guys as well for most of my life. It's like suddenly a bunch of dads are looking at you with a sexual interest when for you they just remain dads. So it comes off as very weird, and a bit like a betrayal of expectations. The reason why it's insulting is because a lot of them usually give you a lot of uncomfortable, unsolicited sexual attention, when you just consider them as "too old" and out of your "dating zone" because you're just not into older dudes.

You wouldn't be the only one. It's kinda the standard. And I'm working on it too ! Well integrated people are very rare. Yes. That's true. Emerald made a thread on this specific point, if I remember correctly. And I had some insights about the way it works lately. Basically, imagine being a leader (divine masculine quality) without love for yourself and other (divine feminine quality). Being rational (divine masculine quality) ) without understanding (divine feminine quality), etc. Great ! Good luck with that. Have you made any type of work regarding understanding your emotions and learning emotional literacy in general? It could be of great help! Oh yes, I'd say that a soothing energy would be probably feminine, though a gentle, protective energy could also very agreeable. What you mean by gay is probably feminine elements that are non gender normative, and perceived as "unmasculine" ? By the way, shadow masculinity really doesn't go well with feminine energy in general. I'm not sure how that shadow masculinity would be attracted to females, there.

Hahah, right. If you can turn a blind eye on how that stuff is made, of course. But I always need to self-deceive myself while I'm eating junk food and deal with my guilt afterward.

You're actually the one person judging sex here, calling it a low conscious and animalistic act. The way it works is that our survival instinct (lower chakra related activities) gets counterbalanced by a rising awareness (higher chakra level), just as matter gets influenced by consciousness. I'm quite satisfied with what I am attracted to lately and it doesn't go against anything I've been talking about in here.

Well, it depends. Do you like better to eat at your local KFC or some healthy and sustainable food ?

@Karmadhi Sex is usually as conscious as the person behind the dick or the vagina. Granted a person doesn't have a shadow around it . Beside, there are many spiritual schools that see sex as very profound activity.

That's quite an interesting dream. The two ladies could be your anima through two different archetypes. The maiden, the wise woman or the mother. Or rather the MILF in your case lol! Your dream could mean that the masculine part of yourself is afraid that trusting the feminine and its diverse form of power will get you culled. There you are. It's the same dilemma that you've got there, I think ?. Our true self is both masculine and feminine at the relative level. So perhaps what it all means is that by reintegrating the feminine you'll reveal yourself to yourself.

@Preety_India Shadow work combined with understanding fragmentation and its set of diverse healing technics . I hope that helps.

Alright, then I've got something for you if this specific point resonated. 53:11, I hope this helps you dig a bit further ! You can change this for sure. You are not your temper, and your temper is not fixed in stone. And what you've inherited from your father is also likely not genetic but some intergenerational trauma. Work on it. The pain that is not transformed will always be transmitted. And as long as it will not be transformed, you'll be the first to suffer from it. Like you are today. Frame that "bitch" as your teacher. And consider she's might be someone who managed to triggered some massive healing for you.

@K Ghoul As it's been said many time above, some repressed shadow elements are popping up in your awareness . Since this situation is involving another woman, look for a potential feminine wounds through this type of questions: What is your relationships to femininity and females in general? Is there any internalized misogyny? Do you see other women as competition for male attention? Do you have a personal wound when it comes to seduction? Otherwise... Regarding this specific behavior, I know it's common for women to resent a specific girl for what is perceived as an unproper use of sexual energy, which "cheapens" the collective power of the group. If you don't find it on the individual level, you can also look for that one. Sometimes, a woman can be tacky or cringey in the way they flirt and other type of wounds can be triggered (simultaneously or by themselves) . A feeling of embarrassment and/or a feeling of disempowerment comes to my mind, which might be combined with other shadow elements.

It's been a problem since a very long time. You must have been living under a rock not to notice it. The left is hyper fragmented.

I know a guy who found out his dad wasn't his real dad. I think they both found they weren't related when he was in his mid teens. I'm not sure about the exact details, but I know that this man raised him as his child and refused to abandon him after he found out the truth. He divorced his wife, though. Both are still viewing each other like father and son.

I can't believe this is how you chose to read my comment. Negative intent much, bruh ? Let me clarify : it really does matter that he's sexually satisfied and cum. But if he couldn't because he was stressed, it doesn't matter that he did not. The stress is what prevents him to come, so I'm actually trying to help him relax and not further the cycle.

Yes. Here is my advice: relax and don't put any type of pressure on yourself anymore. All is well. Nothing is wrong with you but that stress and confusion. That girl seems to be loving, patient and it seems like you've been handling her totally fine . I'm sure she's happy and all she cares about is for you to feel comfortable. You don't have to cum to complete the intercourse, by the way. Some guy train themselves not to cum and keep their semen while having sex. So see, it doesn't matter at all.

Lucky you, Gianna!

Having been untruthful to myself and others Not living in the present moment

Me too. In that general context, it seems acceptable. Though, it's clumsy because it sets up a bad exemple and/or could wound some black people. And that's the biggest problem I see. I second this. I'm black too! Leo's work in general is doing a lot for bettering politics. His social welfare credit score is so high to me, that I am actually annoyed he's made to feel bad to the point of taking down this video. Yes. Racism is a very real, tiresome problem. And it triggers a lot of pain. But I think here your pain is causing an excessive wrath against someone who ultimately do not deserve such rage and accusations. This reaction is disproportional and at the end of the day it only make racial worse. In general, dominant group members coming from good faith should be allowed some tiny mistake/errors from time to time without feeling fearful they'll be cancelled by an angry mob. I've read post from Leo on what he thinks about Black America, and he's as progressive as one can be.

@Illusory Self Your mental image of what girls are is what causes you that anxiety. It's just an overlay, but to you it is very real. You've got to normalize your interaction with girls so you can slowly build up a more functional mental image. Have you ever had the occasion to let's say just even befriend some girls ? Do you have any occasion to do so? At work, or during your hobbies, whatever? Try to build up various kind of relationships with females. And not only in a sexual way. Any type of interaction with the everyday female will help you see women through a more realistic angle.

In a nutshell: Self-love. Relationships fails when two people aren't on the same page. Usually, it happens when connection/intimacy fails intellectually or emotionally until a point where repair becomes materially impossible. So you leak your wounds and move on. What makes you move on from a relationship is accepting that truth, and stop feeding the self-deception mechanism from your addicted ego. Because staying in that relationship means that you need to take away from yourself/gaslight yourself. If your subjective truth is compelling enough, you can't compromise on it. What allows you to move on concretely is reconnect with yourself on a deeper level and do some serious spiritual/self-help work. You also learn more about relationships in general and their dynamic and then it usually allows you to understand what went wrong.

I'm copying an answer I just gave in a thread made by @Medhansh Depression is a sort of accumulated emotional fog clouding your perception. It stems from prolonged self-repression. In a nutshell, it happens when you're disconnected from your subjective truth for too long. The ignored emotions turn into an unpleasant, indistinguishable soup gravitating at a low energy level, reflecting a sense of powerlessness, despair, fear and shame. So, learning emotional literacy is what you are looking for. It's about making them distinguishable again and accepting the truth they tell you. You've got to listen to how you feel, and understand what these emotions tells you about your life. Depression is pretty much your body/mind asking you to go back to wholeness. I'd suggest you'd buy yourself a book about emotions. One of those acting as some sort of Rosetta Stone. For instance, I'm currently using Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown for this purpose. I would recommend it. And then, you follow the trail. On top of that I would recommend doing shadow work, understanding the concept of the pain body by Eckhart Tolle, and looking into Leo's videos about truth and self-deception. These are elements that would speed up your healing.

You move on when someone doesn't resonate with you anymore because it goes at odds with a deepest truth you've found about life and yourself .

@flume You're welcome. I'm sure you'll enjoy it .