Etherial Cat

Upon reflecting on my experiences in this forum, I have come to the realization that it does not align with my personal values and beliefs for several reasons. Specifically, I have observed a recurring pattern where many men seek reassurance through the disempowerment and humiliation of femininity. I believe this behavior stems from their own damaged self-esteem, which generates a conscious or unconscious desire for domination and control over women's lives. This desperate desire to feel more masculine often translates into a pathological need to have the upper hand at all costs over women. Throughout my time in this forum, I did not feel as though the men here wanted me to have a fulfilling life where I could be loved, cherished, and respected as a sensitive and intelligent individual. On the contrary, it was evident that many of them harbored deep-seated shame, which made them resistant to the idea that anyone deserved such treatment, especially women for various reasons. I cannot even begin to recall the number of disempowering narratives designed to humiliate and demonize women that I encountered here, and they only served the exact purpose I described above. In reality, love is rooted in mutual faith, trust, a desire to see the best in everyone, and a genuine desire to care for another's heart. Unfortunately, this behavior in the forum does not exhibit any of these qualities. Instead, it is driven by a desire to disempower, dehumanize, and distrust women. This is because many men here deeply resent femininity and are caught in a double bind with it. They share a common belief that they are not good enough or masculine enough to achieve their goals, and as a result, they reject the feminine aspects of themselves, thinking that this is what makes them weak. However, in doing so, they also reject their most intense drive, which is the drive for love, intimacy, and unity, ultimately leading to terrible suffering. The lack of compassion, mercy, kindness, and care for one another in this forum is a direct result of the many individuals who have a software program in their minds that automatically rejects femininity in all its forms due to their shame wound. Or if they accept any form of femininity, it is only through a pre-approved, unthreatening meek form, which ultimately is unchallenging and boring. So this is among other things why I have decided to leave this place for good. Most of the men here are not interested in co-creating love. They are too insecure and obsessed with the idea of losing. Deep down, they believe that they cannot be loved for who they are because they do not love themselves, leading them to believe that no one else can either. Unfortunately, unconditional love is the biggest shadow of this forum. I refuse to create relationships based on these patterns again. Life is too short, and I find it difficult to forgive missed opportunities for co-creating love and beauty together. Moreover, I am unwilling to spend time in a space or with people who do not take my best interests into consideration and deny that such patterns exist. This behavior only serves to maintain the power dynamic that I have described, for the reasons I mentioned. Furthermore, I firmly believe that seeking to spend time in a self-help forum where your empowerment is seen as undesirable is a joke by definition. Also, as someone who has been doing a lot of work to reintegrate my own unconditional love shadow, I just don't want to spend any more time here. I actually just logged in to keep on deleting my whole post history and wipe my presence away from the surface of this forum. I saw a post where my name was mentioned so I thought I'd reply you here. I hope it doesn't bother you. I wish you the best on your journey. Lots of love.

Integrate your shadow. Start valuing and understanding emotions - otherwise there will never be embodiment nor integrity. Theoretical knowledge isn't the real thing when it comes to spirituality. Solve the sexism issue. That comes from n°1 and n°2. A spiritual community facing such issues in 2022 is shooting itself in the foot. -- Could you also delete my account? Thanks, and best wishes.

A marriage doesn't mean necessarily they are still tied romantically to each other. It's... a legal construct. A way to arrange one's life/survival together. Dissolving it requires a lot of paper work, and negociation. It changes someone's tax status, and potentially someone's resident status in a country, per exemple. Honestly... If they've been seeing each other only once in 4 years... I'm under the impression they aren't that much into one another in a romantic way. They seem to be married but living separate lives or something. Do you know why he is coming where she's at, even though that guy is Australian and they haven't met in 4 years? I think that's probably one of the key element to understand what's their situation like? You should take into consideration what she told you, and not dismiss it that fast. Hasn't she been particularly honest with you in the past, to the point of making you uncomfortable with her admission? A big recurring problem that I see on this forum is that guys do not take seriously what women say, and project a lot of their unconscious ideas on what is often a much more benign reality. If she hasn't seen her husband for 4 years, and she's been having awesome sex and moments with you, there are some odds that she's really not planning to have sex with him, because she's not even anymore that into this husband. He's a choice she made a lot time ago. Perhaps she doesn't even resonate with him anymore. What did she tell you about him? Does it sound to you that she enjoy having sex with him and would jump on the occasion to do so? Female sexuality is very different from masculine sexuality in the sense that a man would engage sexually with most women who meet his attraction threshold but women are very much more resonating with how a guy make them feel emotionally, or because of romantic feelings. Another point here is, that I think you might be feeling threatened in your masculinity because a girl you've got your sight on is in a situation where another man is gravitating very close to her. Obviously, you are jealous and feel powerless just because this situation is happening. This hints to the point above. So, I don't agree with Roy's way of presenting things as it sounds particularly infantilizing and hold the seed to many other problematic aspects in a relationship as such as a lack of communication that I can't stop reading about as the n°1 complain and the reason why heterosexual couple burst in the west, but he's got a point when he says that you are complaining about a situation you've been co-creating. What about what you should have been doing / what you should be doing in order for this situation not to occur ? You haven't claimed that woman. If you had taken the initiative to tell her you wanted her as a part of her life, and contributed in co-creating a life together, you'd have had a right to complain. But you didn't. You did nothing. Because you aren't sure yourself of what you want. In any case, you haven't acted as her man, so you don't really get to complain as if you are. Now you are in a situation where you want the butter and the money for the butter. I agree with aurum there. Even though, I think she might not even necessarily pursue him. Maybe he's coming over at her place to save up money, like any other guest would if there is enough space in her appartement. It's rather common. I know separate couples that are sharing houses and date other people while going through life transition. It's rather common nowadays. Actually, most of the long term relationship I've seen ending in the last 1-2 years have been following this pattern. It's odd, but it's due to how tight the housing market is and how the finances of 1 or the 2 individuals are tight. From outside, the optics look bad but I know for sure these couples have very little interest fucking. Most of the time, these were relationship were little romantic feelings was left but deep affection and sharing a life together was an habit.

Hello dearest @soos_mite_ah, I am so happy to hear you've found a special someone. What you can offer him depends so much of context that's it's a bit tough to assess what will make a perfect gift for your beloved. But here are a few thoughts: - Deep within, what we crave most from others is their presence/awareness/love. So I would suggest that whatever you gift him comes from that place, and hint you've been mindful of his life experience/needs since you've met him. I've found throughout time that a good Christmas present is always touching in that way. Show him you are attuned to him. -Objects can be very cool, but the nec plus ultra is probably shared experience. I don't know what are your ressources, but maybe you could gift him with a small trip, or organize some very cool stuff you know he likes that is a bit out of the ordinary. And there, you could make sure again you give him your undivided, loving attention. Some real quality time. -Check around his center of interest and passions. - . Yeah. I would advise against any type of blatant self-commodification. You probably don't want to enter a dynamic where Christmas sex, birthday sex and all that becomes a norm or expectation . But if you're crazy about him, maybe you can buy yourself some really beautiful underwears (Etsy got gorgeous stuff) and dig for some know how and set him up for some nice time together !

I had no idea who Igor Kufayev was, so I had a look at his website and there are indeed pictures of him surrounded by women while he sits on some sort of big white sofa and they are on the floor. Another picture of him I could find quickly was depicting him with his wife while he's showing her the way with his hands in a white, guru like dress. She's on the side, looking at the direction he's pointing. I've seen this kind of picture before, especially in weddings between people from countries with traditional values where the woman takes a subservient role. It's hard to assess like that, but I must say I have been extremely disappointed by how some men would behave in spiritual communities, regarding women, but also everything remotely considered as womanly/feminine. What I have finally come to understand recently is that spirituality, and the social circles around it, like many other areas of life, is influenced by the patriarchal cultural inheritance because it is all that has been known since the beginning of the formation of agrarian societies. In this context, what Ken Wilber calls ascending spirituality is the norm, as opposed to what is called descending spirituality. And the shadow of the ascending spirituality is the descending spirituality, and vice-versa, but since the descending spirituality (which is the feminine principled aspect of spirituality) is the one that got repressed for millenium, those who managed to reintegrate it in part or fully tend to understand the value in both conception, while those that are predominantly following an ascending path do not. And the ascending path is characterized by seeking transcendence, and by understanding through predominantly mind-conceptualization, thoughts and ideas which creates the pitfall of spiritual bypassing, repression/suppression, or the illusion of knowing what the descending path is about through a vague idea of it. In all case, it is deemed as inferior and impure. The resistance to the descending spirituality comes from a form of literal disgust for the earthly. And what is very sad is that by trying to transcend and distance oneself from earthly reality through transcendence or the world of ideas, one makes earthly existence much more unpleasant than it needs to be for everyone. It also contributes to a vicious circle. Another problem I see is that in order to achieve enlightenment one needs to be balanced between the two principles. The emotional component of the descending path and the relationship to reality is really important to recognize no-selfhood. Understanding non-duality from a theoretical point of view, or through the mind will do very little to dissolve the emotional sense of self. And the repression of emotions so typical of the ascending path creates a shadow that can be very dense and will pull the strings from behind... Not to mention that it causes a variety of psychological issues and unnecessary suffering. Also, I know that every time I have transcended the ego in the past, it was because the opposite polarity of the ego's vibrational frequency (which is fear) had become dominant. So I think love/unity is what needed to be realized, like a secret key to undo the ego, so to speak. You're welcome. She has a great number of video that are great on her channel. She's a force of nature, with a great understanding of the two polarities. I can also recommend you to watch her videos on the Anima/Animus. Ultimately, being able to spot fast if a man's anima is well integrated will save you a lot of time. A man can only be with you and see you through an unfiltered gaze for as well his anima is well integrated. Otherwise, he'll project on you his shadow. It's very uncomfortable and it makes you feel amputated (both intellectually, and emotionally). And sometimes it is even simply dangerous in view of the fact that the decorrelation between the figment of one's imagination and what is really may be massive. Seeing people for what they are, not through a mind distortion is paramount to attune to their rights/needs.

@newbee Oh. Thanks so much for sharing this blogpost! It arrives exactly at the right moment in my life. --- A good way to know whether one is falling into the trap of unbalanced non-duality is to see whether: Ideas are favored over Reality Intellect over Emotions Mind over Matter Hierarchy over Cooperation Doing over Being Growth over Contraction Admiration over Unconditional Love Movement over Stillness Ideologies over Wisdom Planetary dominance over Planetary concern Social structures over Nature Economy over Ecology Ideal over Real Individuality over Oneness/Connection

Is there room for people who are willing to give you credits when it's due, but do not see you as 'the most awaken person there is' in this case, then? The problem for me is more a question of positioning. I can't follow your leadership because this frame you are setting comes off as absurd to me. And it's not that I do not respect you as a person. I do respect you. If I felt you were 'the most awaken person' there was I would have no problem following your leadership, but I don't. Also, there is nothing personal there. I would probably just never follow anyone who would label themselves, or behave as such they are. I used to 'follow you', because the term of the deal was different. There used to be a a lot of room for people who would just follow 'Leo' and take as hypothesis his insights and demonstrations. No particular games are being played there. I don't find this situation funny. I'm not being against you for fun. My thoughts on the matter is that someone who's running a big community like yours, and has a successful Youtube channel can be pretty much caught into a difficult situation where its ego becomes inflated. The wise response would not be to engage in a joust, but try to avoid that joust so this person do not get defensive. At the end of the day, you decide whether people who do not see you 'as the most awaken person there is' cause a leadership issue that is incompatible with your teachings. You are in a relationship with this whole forum, as you say, and it's a dynamic that will be at the bottom of many interaction you'll have there. It is true that I can leave the forum anytime. Which is why I post rarely nowadays. I also do not resonate with part of its energy much anymore as of now. I also don't really see the point in hanging on a forum where the ban hammer limits my voice like a Damocles sword. But I think I have said what I needed to say. Not sure for all of these reasons listed above if it's worth posting. As long as this will be the frame, I suppose I better use my time differently, indeed.

I went through an Ayahuasca ceremony a few weeks ago. While my mind and body experienced different states/perspectives, my awareness didn't budge. Consciousness doesn't increase or decrease on psychedelics. Consciousness is already perfect as it is. Psychedelics act on the mind/body level. They make them interact differently with awareness, be more transparent, hence the insights. Anyway, that's my take on it. I think that is also what Ralston says.

Well, that's the thing. I can't really hang on your forum anymore because it comes off as unintelligent in many way to oppose your POV, as its leader. I can't be myself in this environment, without feeling it's painful on both side. I suppose it's just an incompatibility case. But you theoretically want to make sure there is enough different POV so you don't end up in an echo chamber. ?‍♀️

My inner authority tells me it's not. I've proven it to myself. I'm not interested in convincing anyone I am right about it. Everyone needs to do its own work.

This is exactly what I am talking about. It's not empowering, it's not loving, it's not kind. It's a 'I am better than you' disguised as help, preying on the fear someone cannot get enlightened and thus get rid of its suffering alone, without your guidance. I'm over that. You helped me a lot, but this type of mentor/student dynamic is not how one gets awaken. It's bad for me, and bad for you.

It was obviously a witchy trick. A reversal psychology game theory spell.

You are not the most awakened being there is. It comes off pretty painful to see you insist on it, from posts to posts, when what is happening is a clear case of an ego co-opting awakening/ and intellectual insights as a way to strengthen itself. It's pretty basic, and easy to spot from an outside perspective. I suppose since it's not necessarily the nicest thing to point at, and that when someone slack off from your gravity pool there is no more strong feeling one need to 'do something about it', it's rare that it's being told to you. But lately, your situation comes off as very bad, and I would highly recommend you to seek some help, before you keep sinking more and more into delusion. Now I already know, I'm going to be threatened, belittled, told I am not awake enough, not smart enough and all the likes. But that reaction is exactly what makes me know you are not the real deal. Love, gentleness, kindness, and respect is quite foreign to you (as of 2022, you used to be a cool guy), and your forum looks like a 'spiritual' BDSM studio where you followers enjoy you pouring melted wax on their low-self esteem wounds. If you want to connect with the unconditional love that is so longed for and talked about, you might want to start to incarnate it. You are totally bereft of it. Hence your obsession with the idea of it, and your constant need for superiority. It's the infamous zero sum game mentality, all over again. A need for superiority on the Buddha, Tolle, Ken Wilber and obviously, your followers. Seeing anyone doing better than you is a threat to your sense of self. What a Guru! By the way, I know you've been itching to ban my account for a while. If you feel like burning the witch, feel free to do so. I suppose stating the obvious has this cost.

No. Not an informed stage Yellow person. Studies have shown death penalty increases murder in a society, through a phenomenon named brutalization. State violence shows a pattern that is then reproduced by actors as an appropriate behavior for retaliation against misbehavior. It also cheapens the perceived collective respect due to human life.

My understanding of the situation is very clear. And before I came to the forum, I already knew what was the recurring arguments and thoughts patterns of statutory rapist. Your discourse is not exceptional at all. Most statutory rape is committed by people who will hold this type of view, and will terribly overestimate the accuracy of their beliefs and deduction on child sexuality to justify it, unfortunately. I am not sure what is up with you, but if you do have difficulties understanding consent, or feel like you should be able to have a sexual relationship with a "13 year old +" while you are in your 20s, I would encourage you to talk with a therapist so you guys can go to the bottom of it.

The problem is always in the action. If you want to make a difference between non-offending pedophiles and offending pedophiles, there is indeed room for it.

A pedophile might feel "love" towards a child (and that's really not systematic, there are plenty of pedophile who are in just for the sex), but having sex with it will never be a loving action towards it. The reason is, that even in the case a pedophile has the intention to love the kid, any experience beyond normal physical interaction will be out of boundary and damage its developmental integrity. And this is by default not loving towards the child. The kid is in a position where things happens to it. It cannot consent because it just lacks the life experience to make such a big decision on what will harm or not its psychology and body. Not to mention the very unfair power dynamic. I have came across pedophiles unfortunately in my life. I heard tales of male coworker of acquaintance going to East Asia to have sex with little boys in slums. I also had a friend of mine who was molested by her step dad as a child. Her step dad also started raping her little sister from the age of 4 on. Each time, it was extremely predatory, and frankly sordid. But indeed, you could always resort to the spiritual absolute perspective, and realize it's all love. It's just that concretely, in the relative, 99,9 % of the other perspective screams its not.

Yeah, 3/4 of it with a debate whether it should be 3/4 or 100%. In any case, from this perspective we are only looking at whether the attraction is very abnormal on the perpetrator's side to the point it's classified as a psychiatric disease. It's not a glorious benchmark to be close by by any means. The reason why 14 is not included is because a certain level of physical attraction towards teen from that age on is perceived as normal. But it doesn't mean a healthy grown up adult would seek to have a relationship with them. We aren't even looking at what developmental experts says about how unhealthy it is for the kids. And then, it just account for statutory rape if acted upon by most 1st world jurisdiction, so it gives us a good outlook at whether we consider it normal or not.

What the authorities are saying is not hard to figure out. You can read court decisions, books, attend university lectures or just look at how your current legal system functions. All of that has been shaped by people trained in the domain. So I'm not going to source content widely available. But I'll question anyone making assumptions going against mainstream standards in the domain when I spot it, especially if its totally outlandish and I can easily spot it as false. Another reason why I don't get into more detail is because law is local, and it requires a lot of groundwork knowledge to understand it as a system. That said, there are common denominators. It's tough to talk about it in a global context. The subject of pedophilia is also a multidisciplinary field, and while I've got the basics I'm not proficient in it either.

@Carl-Richard It's because it's still categorized under pedophilia.

Only you know whether the pre-consentment is true or if you added it up later. The current legislation is already made by experts who actually know what they are talking about. This includes psychiatrist, psychologist, criminolgist, lawyers, judges, university professors with actual experience in the topic working together to protect the sexual integrity of minors. And my opinion is that they aren't particularly conservative in their assessment of when consent can be given. I'm curious to know what is your background though, and why you think you are more knowledgeable than all of them. You could perhaps attempt a career in the domain, in which case I would die to follow your journey as such a brilliant, groundbreaking genius, ready to revolutionize it. I'm certain your reception would be absolutely epic. It's either this, or your brilliance is just a belief in your mind, and you're just a guy with a bad case of Dunning-Kruger, attempting to legitimize his creepy attraction for 14 year old and terribly uninformed understanding of consent. Unfortunately I'm certain it's the the second option, and I would recommend you to start investigation what's up.

Yeah right. Coming from the guy who's adamant penetrating someone sleeping is normal, I wasn't expecting anything better.

Mature developed people are not attracted to 14 years old. That's why hebephilia is considered a mental disease by psychiatrists and pretty much everyone who is normal. And the problem is exactly here. Youngster groomed by adults get introduced to sex under the veneer of a romantic relationship by someone who is not healthy, often manipulative and abuses them.

It's not the first time that I see you writing up very questionable behavior about rape. I'm just a stranger on the internet who you might think you're debating, but the real world is not the internet and these type of opinion are not very popular, especially when it comes to any type of law enforcement services. You might want to beware and check your assumption on what consent is, because one day, things might get complicated for you if your act of such beliefs.

@integral If you see it, I suggest it to either report them to their parents and the police, because it's illegal as you just mentioned it before. It's called statutory rape, and grooming.