Etherial Cat

Mainstream media is produced mostly by men. You can check out out the stats. The masculine perspective is not close of being under threat. I would even say it's even the default mode. But it doesn't mean it needs to shrink to nothing. Both the female and masculine view needs to be actively featured so intimacy and bridging can happen.

Strenght is one of these notions that moves throughout times. A stage Red man can be objectively strong, but I wouldn't want him near me. I'd be afraid he wouldn't manage to protect the elements of myself I wish to see protected (my corporal integrity, my mental sanity, my emotions...) and actually jeopardize my survival by proxy with a potential lack of wisdom or ability to love others. So in that sense, a Genghis Khan type wouldn't be attractive. I find a man to be strong the moment he's balanced and wise about how he unleashes his masculine energy. Sometimes, choosing integrity, spirituality and collective welfare is stronger than just pursuing personal power.

I thought I was the only one afraid of being picked up by faith to give my organs to someone else if I'd sign up for this. It seems like a bit of a crazy, unjustified belief. I'm also interested in potential other perspectives... So I'll do sign up next time the opportunity present itself to say "yes" instead of being superstitious.

I watched two days ago 7 years in Tibet. Recommended. Otherwise, "Soul" (2020) was one of my crushes.

Seriously, it's like refusing to put our contemporary Buddha/Jesus on the list. I'm not getting it.

No joke on his popularity. He's the man I love the most of the planet. He's turning all of us savage ferocious humans into purring little cats by spreading consciousness. His acceptance of all of us in our madness in absolute perfect love is just my drug. Arghh. I'm such a fan girl!

The Power of Now is also my favorite book. Leo snobs that poor Eckhart because he's not intellectual enough for him. I find that this book is about stillness. It highlights just what you need to see the structure, content and mechanism of the ego/mind. There is a lot of depths to it. I've also owed it several altered states of consciousness and some provisory ego transcendences in the past.

That's awesome, Leo. I've got two reasons why it's a good idea. 1) I think interacting with famous Youtuber might seriously help with the cult leader slander that is sometimes unrightfully propagated against you. It would give you more credit (for those who need it ) and also show that you're not a recluse hiding in the dark. 2) It will allow you to reach out other audiences which could benefit from your teachings. It's a win-win because it grows actualized.org while offering them crazy benefits! Regarding to how to chose where to appear: I would say that if I were you, I'd go first for whatever feels the most comfortable to gain some experiences and see how these type of cross-platform event goes. So, anyone who would have an audience who could be problematic, or someone who isn't a piece of cake shouldn't be considered (at least not yet). I think the guy from Charisma on Command is a good choice. Otherwise, Russel Brand and you would be absolutely epic. Emerald also comes to mind. Phil is also a good idea. Perhaps also Eben Pagan? You got a bunch of good suggestions in the comments. For sure, there will be more names to come that will feel right.

@Consept I think you could benefit from being a tad more compassionate and bridge your perspective towards black women's hardship. It seems like you have a lot of grievances and expectations on what they should do or be. I certainly don't think these women deserve so much balme. When you understand what cause certain factors (being overweight, being a single mum, or angry ) the reality behind it is far more complex than "fix this, you're being faulty". It's often the tree that hides a forrest.

I've read the paper and the stats. While it's quite interesting, none of them give us enough data and context to answer the question "why are black women no longer getting married to black men as much as before". So unless we'd spend the time to properly research the subject, I don't think we can draw any conclusions here. An important factor that comes to my mind is that until 1960s America was dominated by a stage Blue role model which would act as stage Blue standard enforcer. Wedding are a central institution in the stage Blue development, so it's only logical that they'd be many more of them in these time than now. Also the fact that survival was so though in the past would have as an effect that you'd turn pretty much a blind eye to terrible dysfunction in it for the sake of keeping a situation. So to me though survival conditions are much likely to create a situation where you've got little time to reflect about what you want or what your standards are because your'e too busy keeping yourself alive. 1960 is also the turning point where both the civil right movement AND the second waves of femininism emerge, which better both the condition of black people and the condition of women in general. I still disagree there, I think it is equally important. Not having a father figure to protect you and teach you to have boundaries will lead to serious vulnerabilities when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. And eventually chose a mate. Both parent are important because they teach us how to have a proper relationship with the masculine and the feminine. Miss one and you're out of balance. Whether you're a boy or a girl. No. Black women are not per se more dominant than other races. What get them perceived as more dominant and angry is because they've got to deal with everyone's bullshit and dehumanization. Fighting off humanities ignorance away from running your life is a though job and you've got not choice but to stand out each time someone's unconscious or conscious devilry is trying exploit you, spread misguided narratives or step on your foot with their blind spots. If I take the example of this forum, I'm spending a lot of my time helping both the feminine perspective and the race perspectives/misconceptions. If I were not subject to these two realities, I could turn a blind eye to it and not engage in any of these political discussions. White women can sign off when misconception is occurring about race. I can't. Also, they can be consciously or unconsciously perpetrators of racism. Black men can sign off when misconception is occurring about gender. I can't. Also, they can be consciously or unconsciously perpetrators of sexism. So from an optical point of view, one could think "hey this girl loves to give her opinion and get into all conflicts"! But it's just not the case. My reality involves just more causes to actively tackle. And do people think that I am a non-feminine, aggressive trouble-maker while I'm handling the mountain of human bullshit in my daily life? Very much so. But it's often because they compare my behavior with women who are not dealing with the same life experience as I do. The truth is, black women are treated differently than other women as we are at the intersection between race and sexism. There is also a correlation between emotional distress and an unhealthy relationship to food. People can comfort eat as a coping mechanism. And there is also a correlation between being overweight and wanting to protect oneself from a hostile external world by adding layers of fat between you and others. A lot of victims of abuse can subconsciously make themself look unattractive to keep away people from them. The connection between the body mind is not to be ignored. Nor the connection between someone's mental health and collective abuse or stress.I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of black women are victim of a terrible cocktail which mix poverty, low-self esteem, and emotional distress.

Hmm. Well, I'm not sure what are the numbers for interracial marriages, but wouldn't it be logical that since the end of segregation, the number of black/black weddings are decreasing due to ability to marry outside your race? I'm not saying this is the only factor, but it could surely be one. Then, on top of that, you can add the socio-economic factors which led to a general skepticism in the institution as society has evolved. This isn't only specific to the black community. I certainly agree that a father figure is terribly important for boys, though it is equally important for girls. The wounds of the black male is having a terrible effect on black families. A young boy will lack a role model for what is healthy masculinity, and the young girl will not know healthy masculine love. As for the social policies, I was actually not aware of them. It depends a lot on different countries. My mom married an angolan refugee which was about to get expelled from the country. She didn't care as she made enough money on her own. He was very happy with the situation and he contributed "symbolically" with the strict minimum amount so he feels confident enough to claim he's been involved in my upbringing. Hmm. I agree that these communities have an awful lot of traumas. Maybe the social violence directed at black female is still more intense though. Black females are at the receiving ends of both sexism and racism. Of course latino, native and asians are suffering from it as well, but black folks have always been at the bottom of the racial hierarchy. So I can understand that it makes them/us especially tired. It would make sense that black women want to desperately escape the stress for their future offsprings when choosing a partner and are therefore obsessed with bettering their condition. Survival is and have been awfully rude. The traumas are deep and a lot of it is still unhealed. In my case, I've not felt that shortage in the USA. Curiously, this stage Green culture in the cities and social circles I've been in seems to have flourished into a crazy melting pots where POCs are very much accepted and found to be good looking by multiple races. New York, L.A or San Fran especially comes to mind. I've been approached there mostly by white and black men, mixed races ones and then even some eastern asian or middle eastern. So I'm not sure where it's gone wrong in terms of stats. I think socio-economics might have a part to do with it. Or that mixed race females gets a serious leg up next to very dark ones, which isn't much of a surprise...

@integral Trust. It's trust that will get her to orgasm. It's precisely because the female body and mind is seeking to let go, surrender, be open to the right man. But it's difficult to define what this trust entails. It's trusting that you are the "compatible" one. The one that intuitively knows how to handle her. Basically, the more compatible she realizes you are, the more she'll surrender and lose it. On the contrary, the more mistake you make, the more tense she'll get and build mechanism of defense and rejection. Also, you've got the be aligned in your masculinity, so she'll feel safe. So try not to bring any insecurities in bed. Don't make of sex a battle field where you want to prove her you know how to do women. It comes off as the exact contrary, because instead of focusing on her, you'll be focusing on your ego and creating distance between the two of you. In that case, she might start to feel like the performance is about you, not her. Exceptional sex is wired towards the transcendental. It is a communion which asks that you leave the ego (which is the root of division) outside the bedroom, ideally. Though, you can also have great sex by pushing on the ego wounds and reintegrating them. Other than that, the best way to fuck her good is know the secret of her mind, know how to stimulate her emotions and know her heart. And of course, knowing female anatomy.

Actually, there are an awful lot of documentaries and books written on the different experience between light skin and dark skin black individuals in academic afro-american studies. The aim is not as much comparing the suffering per se (as in a literal sense), but to understand these two groups and their difference in treatment to heal the black community.

But i've gotta say that I think that not all black women are equally suffering of rejection and denigration. Black women are not a homogenous group. Meghan Markle and Serena Wiliams are looking rather different and undergo different type of abuses or stereotypes. I'd say lighter skin black women are having much more privileges than the darkest ones or the one's with the most ethnic features.

Yes, I think it is tied to how femininity is seen as "pure" while masculinity is seen as "profane". Women love to feel beautiful!

Whenever I've heard black women claiming that "good black men" are scarce in the USA, it has to do with how much social violence is directed towards them and the consequence derived from it. A lot of black men are wrecked emotionally due to various traumas which are skewing their chance to be stable and build a career on top of the usual plague ruining the community nowadays (war on drugs, mass incarceration, poor neighbourhoods, discrimination etc). As racism cause a lot of self-hatred (rejection cause a wish to conform to the rejecting group in order to gain its love), black folks tend to avoid the stress by marrying out of their race. But it's not only the case for blacks, latinos and asians will do the same. In south america, they'll call this "furthering the race". Regarding statistics, it seems that when it comes to dating, black females in the USA are the least wanted group for interracial dating. Now, I'm not sure why it is the case. I think that black folks are generally speaking the further away from eurocentric features which tend to set the tone for aesthetics standards, so it displeases potentially a lot of individuals. But black males get away with it much better than the average black females does usually. I think it is because black men are benefiting from some of the stereotype and racism as an enhancer to their masculinity. In the collective unconscious, the black man is this hyper virile cool survivor. But when it comes to black females, the collective unconscious features assigned to them comes off as at odd with what the idealized western version of femininity is. Black females are seen as "savage" while the ideal white female is "angelic". They are hypersexualized while the ideal white woman "is demure", etc. That's of course the remains of the narration which was used to justify the dehumanization and sexual exploitation of the black female. Also, femininity can only flourish in a protected environment. The more I reflect on this, the more I realize how being and looking feminine is a luxury. It's hard to do that when your community is at the bottom of the social ladder. Beauty is expensive. And when it comes to female beauty, what I have notice is that it depends a lot on "framing". Marginalized group don't have the means nor the time to frame themself as "beautiful". And it wouldn't be wanted. Anyway, to go back to the point. My tdlr should be: Black women in the USA are saying that good black men are scarce because black men are subject to a lot of social violence that leave stains on them, and they've got more opportunities than them to date outside their race. Which creates an even deeper shortage of "good men".

Sorry, I was talking about the fans, not the musicians.

A lot of fan are infatuated with rappers or rockstars. They're projecting on them an image/or a fantasy which supports their sexual lyrics without it popping the bubble. Especially since it encompass as well a need for expressing their sexuality. But it doesn't mean that these girls are into the content of the lyrics or would like to be concretely in the situation described in the songs. I didn't have a crush on 50 cent, but when I was a teenager, I'd sing to PIMP or Candy shop thinking these songs were benign. Sometimes, it took me being well into my 20s to realize how nasty really was a song.

This doesn't have much to do with men and women. Men would find it odd as well, even though you'd have a stronger negative reaction from female as they are more on their guard when it comes to sexual innuendo. Rappers and rockers aren't sitting there or being physically around in a room with you. I assumed that we were talking about IRL interactions. With musicians, you are not in the same dynamic. You can switch off the radio at any moment if it pleases you. Or if you go to their concerts, you've already agreed to what would be the content. And you're going there having already issued consent on what it would be about. So there isn't any boundary being trespassed...

If this is what leads you to ask this question, then porn isn't your problem. When you meet someone new, you are on probation. The person will assess where you fit and if you are a danger or not. So as a consequence, each thing you do or say will be used to make an opinion on whether you are someone to feel relaxed with or not. Bringing up porn with strangers at the very beginning is triggering a red flag. It shows an abnormal pattern with a subject which is held hidden in first interactions because of necessary social boundaries and potential social turmoil. So when you speak about porn or sex lightheartedly with a stranger, they'll 1) notice you don't observe etiquette 2) feel threatened in their boundaries 3) going to be afraid that you do not control your sexual impulses. The situation would be comparable if you'd start a conversation with a stranger asking them about their poop or about the smell of their armpits or whatever. They'd assume you're not fully in control on social conventions nor of your animalistic instinct. Which feels threatening.

Wonderful post @Emerald. This is so true. I would say that developing yourself and your career is the best way of attracting a life, a partner and friends who suits you best. A career is important as it allows you to provide value to society. So theoretically, a career can be extremely fulfilling. But a lot of us aren't having a career who is aligned with who we are, so we've got a difficult relationship with it. I would say that this is even the norm. An aligned career with your core essence will make you one of the very best in your field. It would rather feel effortless and you'd not want to spend your time doing anything else but what you're gifted for. It is your life's purpose. And since you're spending a lot of your time in your career, it is the best mean to spread your essence around and see who resonates. I see it a bit like being a spider building a cobweb (or maybe a diamond's net ) with it's energetic signature and meet all the beings who are getting captured in it. For instance, we are all on this forum because each of us resonate with Leo's work in some way. We are all caught in his web.

I'm not seeing the same conclusion for these datas. The status quo before was that women were pushed to settle down early because they weren't financially independent nor skilled enough to survive on their own (it goes from being denied an education or profession to just not being encouraged to). So locking a provider husband was the default mode and it was supported culturally This trade was not fulfilling. Nor for the husband, nor for the woman. Check out this stage Green analysis made by Beauvoir which narrates what was the female condition from her POV in the 70s. Note: I've just noticed now that @intotheblack has already made the same point. Regarding women with higher status as such as celebrities: I think there is a point where they are content enough with what they have and maximizing isn't interesting. Just like when it comes to these studies about happiness which concludes that there is a diminishing return point for money that can be reached pretty fast. So it can explain why some high status women are settling for men of lower status instead of higher ones. But it's also possible that when you've got money and status, you might be afraid people are interested in the leg up you can provide them. It can be practical to go with someone who is sharing some of your caracteristics and understand your struggle. (a typical case could be a couple of celebs) It's also possible that "educated" women not "settling" for someone of lower education and lower income might be a symptom more than the causality of another phenomenon tied to resonance... Different education level can create difficulties when it comes to understanding one another. I have family members who never went to college nor had the experience I had traveling around, living abroad etc. I'd say that we aren't seeing the world the same way and having a conversation with them is painful sometimes. I would say that I have statistically a better resonance with people who have been to college per example because it's likely correlated with a similar drive for intellectual matters, intellectual curiosity and cultural capital. But of course, not everyone who resonate intellectually has been through it. I would have no peculiar issues going for a penniless dude with little traditional education if he's intelligent enough to resonate with me and if I'd fall in love. But we'd need to figure out how to survive together and not be miserable financially, which is a very serious issue. I think difficult finances can put a lot of pressure on a relationship as both individual get into a survival mode... I would also add that just as men are finding difficulties in finding role models, women who are top earners are in difficult situations regarding finding a suitable mate due to being stuck in a cultural limbo.

These are Victoria secret models. So I'd assume they are more conventionally attractive than let's say Beyoncé (who is of course good looking, but who wouldn't have made a career out of just "what she inherited"- as she worked hard to develop her talent as a singer) My point is that these "10s" worth millions, haven't chosen men who were top achievers in their category or with epic status. As you mentioned is Candice kept on dating the same guy as before she banked and got famous. Elsa Hosk is in the same configuration (except that the guy isn't a male model this time and she only got with him recently- he used to be a friend). What I am saying is these women haven't "maxed out" and have chosen men they liked when they surely could have got men with much higher status if they had wanted so. In other words, if I had to use the framework used here, basically they are much better catch theoretically than their partners who aren't even such great achiever next to them. I'm taking these extreme cases to illustrate the point that the tendency for women to look for men who are "great performers" with epic status is not necessarily true. The attraction can be counterbalanced with other factors as such as compatibility and other type of resonance.

Hihi. I've known you faster than that @Emerald. Maybe thats a bad sign for my picture.

@Consept Meh. That's a bit of a biased researched. Candice Swanepoel, Elsa Hosk, Romee Strijd and Doutzen Kroes are all with guys who aren't as successful as they are. I'd say, they are fairly unknown and probably not as wealthy. Keanu Reeves is with Alexandra Grant. She's not necessarily your traditional eye candy.