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  1. Why fear not having the mask on when relating to other people? I ask myself that question and I can't seem to understand why. Maybe it's just irrational fear, idk nice written btw
  2. We can never become That, IT, we can only awaken and realize that we have always been it. But the One is disguised in illusions like form and the ego, in duality and multiplicity, although being those simultaneously or a manifestation of those illusions. So God plays hides and seek. Enlightenment is when God gets caught, most importantly as one's self. Or rather, God catches itself (ego) and awakens to itself.
  3. Tnx for the answers, they really help. I had an experience last evening after smoking hashish again which lasted for like 10 seconds where I dissolved and became very still awareness, I merged with all objects around me and awareness was all that there was, then I suddenly came back and saw I was in this trance state. I could have gone deeper into it but I was in a restaurant with some friends. I didn't want to lose myself or something like that which I'm sure would have happened if I went deeper into it so i pulled myself back, and it feelt like I was in another reality after that for like 1 hour. I can imagine how much powerful it is with real psychedelics, how deep it can go with awareness etc. It's scary and liberating at the same time, if you go the whole way and just surrender or let go. I feel I need to be alone to do that, to go the whole way.
  4. It can't of course, if it is only an idea.
  5. I wonder if the ego is an entity of it's own who has possessed human beings or is it actually just who we are, our self-identity? Because in ego-death I imagine that the ego would be seen for what it is and exposed, and what is scary is to realize that it is actually an entity. Is that false to say?
  6. That sounds awesome, I'm glad for you. Yeah, the process and all is probably unique to each person.
  7. What actually happens in ego death and what happens after the moment the ego dies? After my intense weed experience I got a feeling of how it might be like but it wasn't close to an actual ego death, especially after that I have been very fascinated by the term.
  8. Nice. You should try Hollandia truffles (strongest), 15g. That's my plan for my Amsterdam trip soon. It's a hero dose for me (my weight is only about 55kg) but I have to do it.
  9. So yesterday I did one big hit on a bong, I didn't smoke for about two weeks before that and I'm quite sensitive to weed. After about 30 minutes it began hitting hard and lasted for about 1 hour after that. I was with two friends. When it began hitting, I was literally in control by this intense force and I just tried to surrender. One wave after another coming over me. It became so intense that I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get back to ''me'', my friends are coming back home soon I thought. My friends where out buying some food while I was home alone for about 25 min, it was at that point this stuff really got escalated. I just had to beg to get back because the force was so intense, it was showing me how fake I was and trying to show me my true self, but I didn't go the whole way, I was a coward because I didn't want my friends to see me in that state, completely lost and confused. I tried to surrender, but the more I surrendered the more I was exposed. I realized that it was too much for me and I just said ''please, please, enough''. I slowly after that got myself back to a state where I could function. I don't know what this force was but it feelt divine, like my higher self or something. It was in full control, I couldn't resist or fight it, that wouldn't have done thing easier, and it wouldn't be right in any way.
  10. We should just trust and surrender to whatever happens. If this is the only life we have maybe we should use it for the Truth and the Apsolute, or at least never take it for granted.
  11. I have heard Leo say that there is no afterlife, that this is the afterlife. Martin ball has said the same thing, that there is no afterlife, that there will be an end to Martin. Will we remember that we died, will we remember ourselves in whatever way we were the moment right before our death? Can the ego aka sense of self survive beyond death? Will I remember? I wonder.
  12. @SoonHei Yes @Yousef Yes it is apsolutely nothing but this nothingness is alive and aware as I remember Leo saying. It's one single be-ing, one infinite singularity. There cannot be two, that is duality and separation which is an illusion. So yea, it's all One. It's all God.
  13. The reason I ask this is because I became aware that what we call reality, all of it, is self-conscious. I feelt and became aware that reality was this one being. It's One... entity/being. But it was not infinity, which brings me to the question if Infinity/God is one infinite individual manifesting itself into all individualities and everything else? Basically, is infinity One conscious and alive ''entity/being''? I hope you can answer this Leo since you have become infinity and probably know the answer. What I became aware of is not infinity, but I think the essential point was that reality is self-conscious like this one mega individual, which means that infinity too must be that. For me it was Infinity/God showing itself in a limited form trough me, showing me that it exists. It was very strong and convincing.