Galyna

But a statement that you can kill your ego is wrong. There is nothing there to kill in the first place. You think you have an ego and it is some kind autonomous entity. Look around your room right now, everything is information in your current visual field. You are the whole entire field, everything, absolutely EVERYTHING you are perceiving right at this second. But to create an illusion of the separate self, there are thoughts (mental sensual images, auditory labels) on top of what you are perceiving right at this second. Thoughts are needed for a purpose of the explanation and orientation in this visual field, you call “reality”. Otherwise, you would go insane and can not orient yourself, even could not locate or understand what you are. Now, you are the whole entire picture. What you call ego is the perception (sounds, feelings, smells, tactile sensations and visual images + plus thoughts) that come and go and form the idea of the separate subjective experience. Who are you going to kill there? If you mean “the voice” inside of your head, then sure, give it a try, it is impossible to kill it, however. @Gabith

Because suffering is the best teacher. You suffer for a reason, it is a wake up call. You won’t grow otherwise. Committing suicide is not an option. What will happen is that you will transit from one dream into another dream. Do you truly think you will die? ? It is all a dream. Consciousness is just dreaming.

You think your body and ego are separate from this present moment. It is a naive statement. Go and explore what truly your ego is along with body and physical reality.

This guy has the whole serious about suicide and what follows it. Do not kill your body, your suffering won't end. Also study Bardo. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bardo In some schools of Buddhism, bardo (Classical Tibetan: བར་དོ་ Wylie: bar do) or antarābhava (Sanskrit, Chinese and Japanese: 中有, romanized in Chinese as zhōng yǒu and in Japanese as chū'u)[1] is an intermediate, transitional, or liminal state between death and rebirth. Man, I need to create a thread about it. So many people struggle with these thoughts.

I would avoid using social media in this state. Stay away from Insta

Because to want to escape from what IS... I used to daydream all the time. It is a form of denial of the present moment. Start slowly by putting your attention on your body and physical space around you.

That is my best meditation to put awareness on itself. No practice really makes sense till you developed this ability to see your mind independently from what you are.

Thoughts can appear in the form of sensual images and auditory labels, so I wouldn't just say that only verbal chatter in your head can relate to thinking. Thinking is way trickier than just hearing the voice. I do not have this crazy verbal chatter all the time in my head, it became very mind, quiet, and rather scattered with prolongated stops. However, I still see visuals as memories in my mind. These are all thoughts, guys, with regards to semantic load. @inFlow but to answer your question, yes, there is only one voice, and it is not even "the voice", since it is not autonomous, so these are just random thoughts formed into logical sentences. The best practice to shut off the mental chatter completely is to merge into the experience. Today I was training my colleague. I was so preoccupied with the process, I literally forgot myself and just became what was: the person and myself. I used the logical function of my mind to explain them a process, however this filter, personal ego has completely gone. I "remembered" myself again when came back to my desk. I caught myself on the idea that I just forgot myself (Galyna with her personal life story, pain, suffering, happiness). But this happens so spontaneously, unfortunately, I cannot control this state.

@BipolarGrowth Thank you, I am reading Ralston now, cannot finish his trilogy. But I will check into that one later. I appreciate your feedback.

What is the best way to explain others how you intimately feel Reality? It is so frustrating, even this question is very silly, but I want to explain others how I see and feel reality and I cannot do it. I want to help people and I do not know how to point them in the right direction. I am not talking about mediocre but rather about serious spiritual seekers.

@Leo Gura Thank you, Leo.

Yeah, that is a great idea. I have my own website for it. But I have never become serious about developing it.

@Judy2 exactly, no models will ever help. I was thinking about three major prospectives of perceiving physical reality and I am working on my essay to describe each. Thanks ? .

But when people ask me how I perceive smile is not sufficient to explain ??

Thanks. True.

Thanks, nice…

My lady friend offered me to try golden teacher mushrooms. She knows how to make tea with these shrooms. I have never tried any drugs in my life, except I tried weed a couple of times and hated it. Weed absolutely stoned me and I felt like under anesthesia, or a very strong seductive medication. I went to sleep, with no insights or something. I want to try shrooms on Sunday morning and meditate afterwords, writing, and journaling afterward, inquiring about the Self. Guys, how many grams would you recommend? Like one gram for starters? I have to work on Monday morning, office... She has LSD as well, but I am not ready and want to take it slow with mushrooms first. I want to slowly progress with all psychedelics and work my way to 5 Meo DMT one day. I am very serious now and can’t postpone my inner growth. I found this nice poem by Rumi as a sign: “I am calling to you… Can you hear me? Listen, within your heart, I speak. My voice brings Truth. You are urged beyond what has been. The time has come. Lay it to rest now. This ending comes as grace, to free you from what you have known. For what you have known now is too small for your soul. Bare your uncertainty with equanimity. I am certain enough for both of us. Allow me to show you the light that you are, that burns within you. I will unveil you to yourself. Undressing your ego, casting aside its layers as tender as the lover with unwavering attention. Upon the sacred body of lights, you shall know yourself in Truth: pure, beyond all experiences, utinted, ever innocent, as a pure vessel, stripped bare, ready for divine revelation as Light as Life as Love.”

Yes, we have so so many ?

Hehe, yes...he is a fav teacher of my lady friend. She loves him, I am not crazy about him. Here is my top 5 no BS Russian enlightened teachers I do recommend, I love them to pieces: 1. Salamat from Kazakhstan (currently I am in his workshop for NeuroStalking). He spliced science and metaphysic. He is an enlightened scientist I would say, I highly recommend him. 2. Dmitry Mikhailov 3. Daniel Zuev 4. Tamaya 5. Stanislav Milevich https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gD8H7c6SYU&t=17s

LOL, Putin does not exist @Hello from Russia @Leo Gura Guys, I am a woman, and I do not care about your silly politicians. All I've ever wanted is LOVE!

I am super excited. Let's see what will happen. I will write about it for sure. I want to do it to fall in love with myself, even more, to balance my inner masculine and feminine. You know: an alchemical wedding....of two parts.

@Hello from Russia if you have some time, watch this guy, he is my fav so far among Russian gurus.

If you really want me to go that rabbit hole , there is no such thing as the Russian/Ukrainian conflict in the first place. War is imaginary. Yes, more like 7 to 3:30. Next time I will do it on Friday night. She said I could buy 7.5 grams in total. And they are a bit pricy. LOL, you are funny! No, I love my job and I do appreciate that we do not have any stress in our department, it is very relaxing. I was thinking that I was given that job probably to contemplate more, and it is a perfect match right now for me at this point in my life to work on my development.

Not in this country, my friend ?. I am going on a ten day trip in one week, my boss won’t give me any more days.

I know right…. But I am about to take it in the morning, like 10 am. I will have all day to get myself together. I will report here later on. also I will take it on empty stomach, last meal would be around 6-7 pm Saturday night.