Javfly33

@Serotoninluv Yes, very wise. Of course I'm not going to jump to conclusions. I just asked because still at the point of writing this post I was still not grounded / integrating . Now I'm better and I was just reading on YouTube a girl talking about what is ego-death and she says: (I'm paraphrasing) "ego death is for example you don't know what your parents are". This makes sense to me in what I experienced it makes me feel more grounded now, because when it happened I was thinking about stuff of my life and I was being totally unable to "ground" myself in any way to what I think my life was or I Knew about it . But yeah, you are very right that trying to contextualize would be a mistake. I think that the "trying to explain/think" that I was doing during the experience was actually what caused such suffering because I couldn't explain reality in that moment and I should have "stop contextualizing" and just be However It was too radical to me that brutal shift and I couldn't handle ,next time I'll be a little more prepared I guess.

@Raptorsin7 It doesn't seem enlightenment is a feeling or experience or that is founded in the mind. It seems that 'God' is not attached to any kind of form. That's why trying to reach a constant state of realization that will necessary depend on something that has opposite (having an experience/not having experience, realizing God/not realizing god) could never work, because God doesn't need to depend on a 'state'.

When I realize myself, the one who is here, there is still a separation going on! 1. First I Am appears, here I am. Then There (or isness as you guys call it) appears. This There can a be a colour or shape, you could call it a "rock" if you want to attibute thoughts to a part of Isness. But how much I deconstruct it, I can't grasp why it said to truth to be "just one". There is just I Am and there Isness. It still seems to be a duality.

@Serotoninluv Are you trying to say to me between the lines that Oneness and Twoness are the same and I haven´t seen things as clear as I think yet?

There is just Isess? I'm Isness? If that's it, I grasp it some minutes ago, but I lost it. Again to dreamland I go, but whoa, there is this intelligence that we call being and it is totally Ok wherever I go...even if I keep go dreaming this world, there is the One slowly being here, awakening in the only place it can✌️???

@name Ok I respect your opinions/discoveries , if you don´t want to listen to even a 5% of what I am trying to share with you why do you open a thread that says "How to really get rid of an addiction"? Not replying to you in a bad way, btw. Just to give you an insight. It´s kinda funny if you got already the answers why do you ask for advice. Trust me that detox sometimes it´s neccesary. As you said you can you can have a beautifull wife,perfect kids,a perfect life and still be addicted to it, because brain pathways are very very intense if you are constantly using some drugs. I don´t know man, do what you think you have to do. I´m just saying it wouldn´t be hurt you take some of my advice. Maybe 5%?

It's important to this inquiry in the present moment. In moments of suffering: You can realize that there are thoughts that say 'I suffer'. But don't go so fast... You can realize that there are body sensations been felt. But don't go so fast... You still havent find the sufferer. You know THERE IS suffering, but what does it mean to something BE, if there's nobody there to receive IT? Hmmm... Isn't it mysterious? You are finding all kind of evidence that there is suffering, but you are still lacking the most fundamental evidence... the receiver of that suffering. Maybe allow that possibility? The possibility that there is no receiver... Then you can go look elsewhere for Truth. But not in the mind. Maybe the mind is good as it is right now, maybe, just maybe, you can let the mind rest and allow her to be as it is. IT is Ok.

Maybe I think the misunderstanding is the idea you have of pick up. There's pick up that it's more focused on skills and technique and other kind of pick up that is more just about social skills. You shouldn't generalize. We agree then, although I gotta say I wouldn't call being genuine as a sinonym of masculine. I definitely think there goes more stuff into the masculine "energy" as it goes in the feminine. Although I will agree that is the most effortless way to live.

@Keyhole Why people go to therapists then? People can't change then? I feel you are projecting your idea of masculinity as a genetic fixed trail. I'm pretty sure if I tell you that I had a depressive personality all my life and I started using 'external sources' to fix that and become a happy person , you wouldn't call that fake and try to call out the 'underneath' depressive 'real me'.

I´ve spent much of my life not loving myself and feeling inferior. Obviously when I managed to be with girls it was a disaster because deep down I wasn´t confident in myself. I recently began working on myself and loving myself. Now with girls I might be less fearful and might say some jokes here and there or be more confident. Maybe if a girl of the past sees me now he might consider if i´m being "fake". "LOok, there´s @Javfly33 . He´s being reading pick up books and he´s being fake!" You mean to tell me that, underneath my true self is self-denial? self-hate? Shame? Inferiority is my true self? How exactly you determine what is the true self of a guy, really? A book helped me in all of this process too, that was an external source so...I guess all of the discovery of loving myself and therefore inevocally starting to be more authentic and maybe being less "good guy" (which is just "afraid guy", this is not just with girls, this is happening with my family relationships too) I just should go back ? Dont´t make much sense to me...

@Leo Gura I´ve always have the sense that pickup teaches you to do things that attractive men do, but not exactly to become an attractive men. There are of course stuff like Models by Mark Manson that literally don´t give a single technical skill and just tell you to actually change your personality and from that point be effortless authentic, but I haven´t found is a popular approach in pick up. I started just doing absolutely fake pick up and I understand now why I end up quitting it. "Fake it till you make it" works to a certain point but I gotta say I didn´t found that to be true in pick up. It depends of course how deep you´ve been denying your authentic self and self-acceptance. For some people maybe it will just be a game of numbers and they will gain the neccesary more confidence to go from not getting laid to getting laid. In that sense I, I´ve heard you talk about socializing like a mechanical skill as "just socialize more and be talking to people all the time" but in my experience I spend much of my teenage years socializing and I end up "quitting". I was way too fucked up to solve my shit by a game of numbers, by just "hang out with more people". The same I felt about pick up. Then one day I truly began working on myself and suddenly socializing is effortless and even enjoyable. Again, the same is happening in pick up. I just started doing it again, and it´s like the difficulty level drop by x10.

@Dumuzzi If you don´t like to go out at night/socialize nightlife and you don´t work at an office/normal job, then explain how are you supposed to meet women? lol

Who is this I that says it´s alive? Are you really this I? Or is this "I" something that appears in form of thought and it just appears to be an "I" ?

I'm discovering I as a self do not exist and this (thoughts, ideas, sensations, feelings of being like this or that) is just a mechanical process. It's becoming to me quite clear that nobody "owns" this process. However this "process" shows certain traits of malfunctioning. What Western psychology calls self-esteem or confidence issues etc. Again, nobody really suffers this lack of self esteem. This process just creates an illusion of an I suffering this lack of self esteem. So I'm confused. If I try to have control over this life, I'm playing the game of self-delusion, if I don't, I settle for having a malfunctioning mind. I guess if I would be totally awake I could actually let go of any desire to self-develop my mind because it would be clear nobody is victim of the mind. So really who cares if any malfunctioning trail arises since there's nobody there to suffer it? But since I'm not there yet, I feel this ilusion of self should keep having thoughts of control and strategizing to "fix itself". Is this right? Or is it falling to a trap? I just not sure if I don't do anything how the mind will stop being malfunctioning. I'm sure I need to do a lot of shadow work and for that I need strategy and control Then again, I'm not sure control and strategy actually is what gets results in self-development. It it would be that simple everybody would have a clean and purified mind so it cant be that simple. Help me out guys.

My question is that for example when I am walking down the river, how is possible that objects like rocks (for example) exist. I get that biological and quimical reactions had happened to stone and whatever, and that´s why rocks are there, but I am not so sure how is it possible that when I am not there, the universe is actually maintaining that rocks and making them "possible". Is because there is "awareness" to rocks? But what about a thought? The rocks arethe same as the thoughts that I am aware of lately. "My thoughts" are at the same distance as the one who is reading me right now or the rocks I´m talking about. It seems that objects arise when I AMness there. It´s difficult to maintain the belief that there´s something outside I AMness anymore.

@SerotoninluvI might take another perspective, you might have a point. Suddenly if I stop asking the mind and start listening to silence, it actually speaks more clear than the mind, something way way way more clear than all of this thoughts stories and twisted understandings starts to unfold. Although once I try to grasp it I lose it. I guess there´s no need to grasp it haha... Thanks for your messages

@Serotoninluv It seems there´s a lot to explore but I keep trying to do it with the mind. I´m not used to explore in that way

I´m just saying you are in I AMness. Is not You are in My world. It´s more like Me and you are in I AMness

@Nahm Haha no... I Am always here edit: In fact is not even an I. Is just Amness. Is impossible to not be Amness

So I´ve been doing Spirituality 2 and a half years on and off. First it was just my first experiences of just not having thoughts thanks to meditation. From that moment and doing Yoga and similar stuff, I started to have many time through my days where I was "observing" myself. After that I always struggled to dis-identified with "myself" and to stay in awareness. I thought always that this was the supposed dance, the more you are in awareness, the less you are in ego-mind, the more free you are. This dual existencial being, either you are in awareness, either you are in personhood However this last days I am having a breakthrough, there´s NO ONE in the mind!!! There´s NO ONE who is having this thoughts!! This is not a metaphor, literally I have to accept NOBODY has suffered a single second. @Javfly33 hasn´t suffered or lived a single second in all of this life because Javfly33 does not exist literally. However I haven´t had a mistical experience, this has been just an intuitive observation that has gotten more stronger the last days, so I haven´t had a liberating experience or enlightment, just moments of more realization and moments of course more identification. The difference now is that before I thought "i was losing myself in thought" , now I fast I realize that nobody is really losing itself in thought. There´s only thought. There´s nobody attainning enlightment, there´s nobody losing enlightment. How much work do you think i got left to Awaken? At the same time I do this question I laugh because there´s nobody who is going to awaken lmao i dont know how to digest this

Stay as you are. As your true being. You really can only be awareness. The difference is now that when I get lost in ego , I realize there's nobody in Ego. There's really no ego. It's difficult to explain.

It helps a lot, thanks for the detailed and it looks very real answer.

@LfcCharlie4 Yeah I was exactly saying that, I am aware "ego" this morning was using a belief to not feel negative emotion/pain

Go to a detox, seriously. Nowdays there are free ones, at least in my country. You'll stay with plenty of other people with addictions and you will learn a lot. I remember my father when he went to detox he recommended me to go (even though I didn't have hard addictions) he said I would learn a lot being there for a good couple of months. I don't know about how bad might be your porn addiction, but all I can say is that much of the problem of it when away when I realized much of the bad vibe if it were due to shame and self-esteem deficiency beliefs. I still absolutely hate how my mind/body feels after I binge on porn, but I just don't pay it that much attention. Even more, when I actually let go a little bit of the shame of porn and accept it, I automatically stop watching so much porn. Literally my porn use was linked to self-hate, I would relapse when I feel particularly helpless. Having said that, there are days that you are particularly horny and its way more enjoyable to use porn in that moment, but that can be like 1-2 times a week. If you try to get it out of your way fast, then it just 1-2 times a week when you feel a little bad for a 3-4 hours. I know it's not perfect, but if you are honest you can perfectly be happy even if you feel bad 8-9 hours a week, there are plenty of ill people who are in pain more hours a week and they are able to appreciate and be ok with life. Having said that you shouldn't settle for reducing your addiction!. Sure keep working on it but realize that sometimes you really really have to change your life in order to let go of such big long term habits like porn, and second in the meanwhile don't get destroyed by it and fall into depression. I've found that the 'nocebo' effect of porn in people who are on the no PMO way suffer tremendously more because they make the release worse than it is .

I just feel pity for people that spend their time and energy critizising other's (I hope I don't doing the same with this exact post lol)