Javfly33

Not sure if porn is the most accurate way to know what turns you on. My porn tastes were significantly different than my actual sexual tastes. ?

Interesting, it happened to me too when my father died. Although more than high state it was a kind of mania . Did you have feelings towards this family member or you are indifferent to his death?

I just realize that when I'm not on drugs, I am almost never fine with being in the present moment . Lately I've been sobering up, in everything, including even coffee I find myself having thoughts of future, like "ok, what I am doing now (going to the groceries) make sense because that way I am going to eat today enough so in the future I'll get more muscle and that will get me more confident which eventually will lead to other things which eventually would make me more happy". So in a sense, the process of going to the groceries was bearable because it had a purpose. But if not, if I would find myself unable to bear the boringness and emptyness of being in the present moment . Why it's so difficult to be great with just being at the present moment?

I went one 1 year ago. Most psychologists don't actually understand mental health.

You might have a point. I need to stop re-creating myself and seeking.

@allislove I agree, but im.not happy anymore with that relative / absolute duality. It's time to unified them in one. As Eckhart Tolle said: "I need to stop living with 'myself' . There might be two of me. The 'myself' and the One who can't live with 'myself'. ???Please God dissolve me. Can't keep creating more suffering.❣️

This shit never ends. ?

How do you know that which you say "bad karma" aren't just judgements of your own mind? Are they other thing than just thoughts? Meh...you guys are so full of shit.

Dissolving beliefs about yourself

Yeap, can only recommend psychedelics. Hard drugs are a waste of time and if you are not careful you can wreck your life with them. All the bliss that hard drugs provide you can get with psychedelics. It just that it will demand more responsibility of you. But it's the only intelligent way.

Fuck yeah, engage in it until you get so tired "you" dissappear. I can't strip all of my shit because ultimately I believe myself to be a separate self so I have a survival agenda, a story of self development to grow , goals, etc... That's why I keep saying I want to awake totally. If not I still believe myself to be a separate self. If I believe myself to be that the most obvious thing to do is to survive. And the mind helps me with that.

Psychedelics produce bliss and euphoria too, but it usually comes at the price of high vulnerability. In more vulgar words, I would say with normal drugs you always have control, in psychedelics the higher you go the less control you usually have. I think this difference it's makes 'hard drugs' easy to abuse, while with psychedelics not.

@VeganAwake Right, but There are more chapters of this book to be discovered brother ?❣️

Seems like a words game. If 'eventually' you will exist as a projection of my mind, it doesn't matter if right now you don't exist. Since time doesn't exist either, it's like you DO exist, since at one moment of time God will experience writing in his own forum and replying to Javfly33 (to myself). So honestly I see it as a words game .

Ok, not going to ask anymore. Just want to know, so it comes a time when you trascend that solipsism question?

I've tried but I can't maintain the state. In a sense it doesn't depend on me but of consciousness itself ??

Not my experience at all. That's why I am recommending him to try hcl for plugging. I tried countless times with freebase, upto 35mg. Only placebo/subtle effects . Followed the guide with the vinegar and all of that too. Strange that it works for you better than hcl.

@James123 Definitely. I want to break free of that prison. At the same time I know I am the one which is creating the prison at every moment. So maybe the question would be... How do I stop creating my own prison? I think ultimately I keep creating it because I think I am real. That's why I am pursuing full awakening brother. See being conscious of thoughts it's clear that I am not the thoughts. This brings a space of awareness. I might be that it seems. Yet it doesn't feel total. So I end up feeling like I am real again. Because ultimately I am not sure about any of this. If not I would have died already (the concept of me)

What ya mean?

so my topic get locked because of solipsism and this one not ? Can´t help ya brother, im in the same pit as you

Oh, is not random. I know what he's talking about ?

Thanks . Will check it out. Always love your GIFs ?

Find yourself some HCl for plugging . Then you will understand the hype ?

?

If I point a gun to your head does silence saves you of pissing your pants ?