Javfly33

Thanks for recommending, I´ll give a try, since is a local product for me ? Maybe I´ll become the irresistible Macho Ibérico.

For sure, that is a very good way to describe it. Until God wakes up of course

5-meo-dmt ?

Is definetely not common. All of my experiences with ketamine were fine and more or less 'comfy' except this one. I just bumped 2 lines, sit on my room in a corner at night and had the great idea of turn it off the lights. Suddenly, it become clear in my face that I had a fear of darkness in my house (only happens in my mom's house) that I had been avoiding all my life. The thoughts of fear become so intense I had to let go, count´do anything else. I started breathing and then everything started to 'collapse'. Here's the trip report if you want to read it: @LSD-Rumi @Yimpa

Roa: Hcl plugged I Sit in lotus pose and put a powerful mantra of sadhguru called 'Aum Namah Shivaya'. I thought I was ready for what would come afterwards... It started to come up...but this time stronger than any other time... way way stronger. I thought I Knew the limit of 5-MeO-DMT. The following 4-5 minutes (although they felt like a LIFETIME) were an horrendous time where there was a sudden intuition that this moment was all that there was. I could not think, I could not imagine, I could not nothing. Total confusion, I wanted to puke. I wanted it to end. But no thoughts were available, just total confusion NOW. Then I surrendered .And I shouted my insides out what it felt like a lifetime of trauma, beliefs, and concepts of lack of self-love, of differences, or judgment, of DELUSION. I didn't shouted like that in my life. That felt like a release of no other, the release I wanted all of my life. To feel completely in Love with myself. Overall I would say this as a far as 5-MeO-DMT plugged will take me. To total insanity, to then to a Total Brutal Explosive Love, to a Heaven that I was not ready. To a LOVE that can not be forgotten (but let's see how this integrates the following weeks). What can I say? This is a fucking dream... believe it or not...the play is eternal, completely eternal...eternally playing thought stories in your head (or not), to avoid GOD, to avoid LOVE. Wow. What a fucking play this is. What a brilliant trick. What a masterpiece this is. Pure Masterpiece of Love. I dedicate this trip to my father, RIP. Your pain is My pain. I love you.

watch Abestas

Damn, btw I also had a similar 'panic-attack' on Ketamine one day...but it wasn't as hardcore as this one with 5-meo lmao

I think the trick is, if you can see the usual girls you find really attractive, as just normal humans, a piece of life, as a guy, another woman, or even a dog, then you can love.

Lol But good info OP. I'll check that book. I don't know about loving women with all my heart but I definitely became conscious I had a lot of darkness and judgment projection towards women, unnecessary to say, with this mental perspective is different to have lots of success with Women.

You need to be honest on what is best for you in your current phase of your life, not morally or similarly what you think is best. I say this because I used to think like you and then I realized I was wrong. But of course you might have a different background/phase of life...I'm just saying, inspect what you really really want.

Yeah I know, I had to do that because I had no other choice haha, afterwards the trip become GOOD. But idk, that might be because it was just the come up or too much intensity Did that happen to you also in 5-MeO?

Sometimes you just get brainwashed from your surroundings. I have become conscious I absorbed karma/darkness energy/thoughts from my parent side family...

Sure, I mean more from/where you have an ego.

@StarStruck This is very good that you have realized this. Indeed, bring an addict is an identity. As long people don't want to grow past this, they will be stuck in that cycle, wether they are clean for X time or not.

You are right. I am Leo Gura and Yimpa, totally.

Why do I have such a hard time surrendering the dream? Its literally the most blissful thing, to just let go all beliefs, thought stories, and just surrender to the empty eternal orgasm I am in, for ever. If one inspects, this is what one seeks for all of his life. To get the mind to a such a point, there is just this safety..this bliss, this Me...alone, for ever, absolutely Complete. Any kind of outside or difference would break this love. Even saying 'other beings' are me, already is not complete. I Surrender that too. I am Alone in my dream, completely Complete, in my eternal Throne of infinite imagination. ?

Look for meet-ups in your city. Meetup.com is a great place and ive gone out a lot and meet lots of people there. But don't stay at home pitying your situation. Do actions and choices every day towards you feeling better and your goal, that desperation is your inner intelligence saying to you there is a desire that is NOT fulfilled. Do not avoid it.

Maybe it was too much a dose for my nervous system? I say horror because I really thought I was going to die, at one point it was hitting so intense that I couldn't know if I was breathing properly. Maybe that is too much. Yeah, the phone you are so right...I'm absolutely locking my phone away next time I trip. I'm so tired of repenting myself of texting while still tripping.

I did that after the "horror" time...but now I am not liberated anymore...those were just 10-15min of "free flowing". I laughed for sure too .. Although now I'm thinking, yes, I'm going to do this again lmao...these few days I have been observing how my mind is so full of darkness separation and judgments..on the trip that went completely away...maybe one of this session once a month wouldn't hurt ? Personally, I wouldn't say this it was braveness. More than intuition that one deserves/must walk towards Light/Love. When I did the trip I was actually going to relapse in a very dark addiction, when all thoughts of darkness were there I just couldn't take it anymore and my best idea was doing this... But I don't recommend doing psychedelics with this attitude...

Man I don't think I´m doing this again lol what you guys get out of this After a couple of days of 'integration', I see that The torture and horror of the come-up is not worth the limitless state of consciousness that comes afterwards. Also, I sent some cringy intimate audios while still high via WhatsApp to my housemate...always happens the same shit to me with psychedelics ?

Read the entry about the table fork. That was very good

why you want to do sports in a retreat?

I suggest you to drop all identities, just see with who you want to actually fuck. Porn and fantasy is different than reality.

lots of fruits, vegs, honey, and some pistachios for fun probably sports? maybe trekking I shower before I do any type of spiritual practice (it helps opening up the energy body) the other questions seem a bit unnecessary, drink water and sleep in the same way when you are not in a retreat ? Ideally do not talk to people Also, try to not use your phone...maybe lock it or leave it at home while the retreat

run