EvilAngel

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Everything posted by EvilAngel

  1. Many young people have anger 'issues'. Do you know the root cause of your anger? Bullying? Mistreatment from your parents? Try and work out where the rage you are feeling comes from. I have also had forced hospital admissions and treatment which started 9 years ago when I was 22. I know how traumatising the whole experience can be. If people have mistreated you a lot then your anger is JUSTIFIED. Don't let people label you and use you as a scapegoat - I don't know enough about your situation, but maybe your parents are doing this? Whatever has affected you to make you so angry is not your fault, so don't turn the anger on yourself.
  2. Hi, I've just bought the course but the videos are not working on my phone. Has anyone else had this problem? Super excited to get started on this!
  3. Hi everyone, I'm a 31 year old male from Scotland. This is my second post on this forum. I'm looking for some help with some things in my life so I'm gonna tell you a bit about myself and hopefully you can relate and edify me. So I've watched between 50-100 of Leo's videos. A lot of the stuff he talks about I already knew, but I've also learned a lot from him. He's a great teacher. I've been on the spiritual path since I was 16 after having an out of body experience. It inspired me to attempt astral projection which I was never particularly successful at. When I went to university I read a lot about spirituality. I felt an amazing sense of oneness with the world and walked about in a state of pure bliss, just taking in the beauty of the world. I was also at the time experimenting with psychoactives, such as cannabis, MDMA, and salvia. Sometimes I could literally see the connection between EVERYTHING, and it was beautiful. However, things took a turn for the worse. The drugs brought out a lot of previously unconscious material and I started getting extremely paranoid and depressed. I heard voices once, and started researching schizophrenia and other mental illnesses. I had to move back home to my parents and eventually got kicked out due to my angry outbursts. I was furious with the emotional abuse my family had inflicted upon me. I was homeless for a couple of years and then I got sectioned in a mental hospital, where I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I spent 7 years in mental hospitals and homeless units. During that time I became addicted to amphetamine like drugs and also tried heroin. I became so depressed I could barely walk or leave my bed. I eventually got better thanks in part to reading Eckhart Tolle books. Also my mother died, which was a big relief for me as I didn't have to worry about her suffering as she had been ill all my life. Plus she couldn't force her agenda on me any longer. A sense of peace and lightness came back to me. I was discharged into a place of my own in Feb 2017 and am still here. I have been clean from drugs for 5 years and the symptoms of my illness are greatly reduced. I still get depressed sometimes but nothing like before, and I have a handle on my paranoid delusions. My Dad visits me sometimes. I find it literally impossible not to get angry with him. He was sexually inappropriate with me when I was younger which I found hard to admit for all my life. I have come to the conclusion that it was mainly my parents who caused my mental health problems. Leo has inspired me to get serious about my spiritual practice again and I have been meditating every day for a couple of months. It's difficult though because my upstairs neighbour is quite noisy. Also the area I live in is rife with drug users and people with other addictions so it's hard not to fall back into that trap. I smoke and drink sometimes which seems inevitable. I am now in a pretty good situation for practising meditation and spirituality because I have a lot of spare time and I don't have to worry about my finances. However I feel disconnected from the world because of the medication I am on (antipsychotics). So I'm looking for advice. How can I get more deeply into this work with the issues I face? - My anger is having a huge negative impact on my life (it's not just with my dad) /My medication greatly reduces the pleasure I get from life / I can't seem to stop drinking and smoking. Any help is very much appreciated. ? Edit: I'm thinking I should find a physical community where I can practice, as I don't know anyone else in my area who seems as serious as me about attaining enlightenment.
  4. Hope this is OK to post. I have been watching a lot of Leo's videos and I have made my own version of Imagine, loosely based on concepts kind of relevant to the videos I've seen. Hope you like. Imagine there's no earth It's easy if you try. Only hell within us And heaven in our minds. Imagine all the people not afraid to die Imagine non existence It isn't hard to do Nothing is all you ever were There's no such thing as "you" Imagine all the people making peace with that You may say I'm a dreamer, Well they say that life's a dream I hope some day you'll wake up And realise what it's always been. Imagine your progression I wonder if you can. Into a selfless being An enlightened man. Imagine all the people who never get that far. You may say I'm a dreamer Well they say that life's a dream I hope some day you'll wake up And realise what it's always been