Surfingthewave

Fill in the blank. For me it is highs and lows, and gaps where I'm falling off. Motivation, commitment and perseverance seem to be difficult. Anyone got any good tips for seeing through all the crap and staying on the path? I'm training to be an artist

From skulls to suffering to ego, love and discipline, this path ain't an easy one. Before shoveling through all that shit to freedom didn't Andy Defresne spend 20 years perfecting the craft of diligence, patience, discipline, and knowledge acquisition in an oppressive environment of suffering and torture? Sounds a bit like life pre enlightenment.

Something in Leo's last video resonated with quite a bit (no shit). He talked about suffering with physical health problems and how he feels he needs to take a break. Just got me thinking our bodies tell us what we need, so in terms of awareness practices do we focus too much on letting go of our thoughts rather than our bodies' feelings ? Eckhart talks about the body/mind link but what really is gut feeling? Isn't it what we feel even before we are aware?

The biggest threshold guardian for me on this journey is avoidance. Avoidance of those daily habits that are needed to meet those goals, avoidance of those big challenges to help get over plateaus, avoidance of doing the things we need to do reach the top. This is the part of self help which is like the dog chasing its own tail. (I'm also aware of the NO self part of the journey). So how do we make ourselves accountable? I've done the thinking about your own death bit, goal setting, recognising ego backlash, considered coaching etc.

@Flatworld Crusades Good tip, thanks! I like the white board idea. Something about seeing things written down out of your head objectifys them. I've just spent today going over my goals and why I'm doing the things I do. Massive trigger for me, leading to avoidance is fear of sucess!! I relate to a lot of those concepts you mentioned especially self indulgance and no perseverance. Sounds like you have benefitted from this approach.

I love the list of words @Sahil Pandit and yes getting up early is such a good practice.

@studentofthegame Yes I think it has been key for me that it has been the one constant I have stuck to over the years. I struggle a lot with motivation which could be linked to fear in some ways and I've found meditation has cut through all that. I also think its not one thing alone so like you so also use other things including yoga, walking in nature, contemplating, self help books nutrition and exercise. I recently had amazing results from reiki massages so I'll continue with that.

@studentofthegame I can relate to you when you talk of your anxiety, I used to struggle to get out of bed in the morning due to crippling fear. The most effective thing which has helped has been meditation. Try just 10 mins a day, Leo has a good guided one on here about letting go. Seems like you could benefit from letting go of thoughts, by doing so this relinquishes any power these thoughts have and over time you'll begin to see the benefits. We can sometimes use rigid routines to control our anxiety or fear but this stops us experiencing from one of the greatest things in life, living in the moment and being spontaneous. Also exercise can really help with sleep this can also help with energy levels even when you haven't slept. Sounds like you are beginning to turn a corner, credit to you.

@Stef_BG I hear you. As the only constant in this process is change, your feelings will eventually pass. What I've learnt is it just takes a while to integrate, but your baseline consciousness is permanently different. Following that awakening experience my ego seriously kicked back so all my bad habits returned a vengeance, hence the low mood /passivity. It's almost a test to see of you're in it for the long haul.

I realise the irony of the above statement, but any tips? The last awakening experience left this feeling of life being meaningless.

@kieranperez Yes there's something about needing to mix it up a bit, and good idea about getting outside. I used to always struggle with walking meditations but now I'm going deeper it's bit like tripping as there's so much to take in from your environment. @Shin I get a bit stuck in concepts so although I'd done a lot of the theory when it came to enlightenment I'd never actually felt it. The awakening last week was me feeling it in every cell of my being, and moving from the "witness" of the "I" or "I am" (or awareness) to actually becoming it. Was pretty mind blowing and hours went by of me in this state, and I suddenly got it.

@kieranperez Good suggestions, and yes authenticity and honesty is something I need to work on @Leo Gura Thank you, yes developing self love is as important as the process itself, it has almost become "work" at the moment, could be because it feels very very isolating and there's very people I can discuss it with, in fact nobody really!

Thanks all, seemingly this is very cyclical and normal but I guess the magic happens when this is integrated into "normal" life. I look forward to the healing stage and going deeper down the rabit hole. It kind of shocked me cos I'm a positive kinda gal.

Thank you all for your tips and insights. @abrakamowse the ego is a complex complex thing which takes a lot of work to break down. @Leo Gura It was during a meditation practice, I was doing many hour long sits over several days. Specifically it was during a guided self enquiry (Rupert Spira) meditation, I became fully aware of the "I" as consciousness and experienced what can only be felt as pure, pure bliss. It was such a intensity that I sat like that for a very long time afterwards contemplating, and shed a few tears in the process. But now, two days later, back to normal life I feel quite low.

Maybe then think about what else you can use as a reward instead that's more appropriate. If you're meditating you're already on the right path, just keep going, good luck.

What do you think the sugar is replacing in your life? Get to the bottom of that and you get to the root cause my friend. Sounds like you are a talented artist in the wrong job. Follow your dreams, answer your inner voice and addictions tend to fall away I've found. It's a struggle but there's beauty in breaking free.

@mandyjw I hear you, andI hear the frustration in your words. I've been where you are and keep returning to that place but the more you do the work the more aware you become of this process and can start to see it for what it really is. It sounds more like your ego kicking back. Allow it to kick back, relish in it and bathe in it. In terms of your kids, they are the best example of moment by moment living and experiencing life as it is. Keep doing what you're doing as as Leo and others say, intensify, intensify intensify. The hardest thing about this path is staying on it.

Based on the experiences of self actualizers on this froum and beyond how do we revise Descartes famous statement (which has influenced individualism and the idea of duality for centuries) I think, therefore I am.... not love I think therefore I am.. not the no self Also how do we aslo revise Carl Jungs concepts of The Self which has influenced modern psychology and western thinking to the present day?

Thank you @How to be wise I've read the book Loving What Is before and and I've been completing some of the work sheets. With the turnarounds this is where I was getting stuck, so interesting that you have to use three examples. What is the idea behind using these examples - self, the other and opposite?

@Mikael89 I'm fascinated to know where your beliefs about women have come from. @Dodo You're here on this forum, therefore your abundance is there within you. Its just about seeing it.

@ivankiss yes I can relate to linearity, probably cos of my job/personality. The idea of full circle drives me a bit crazy, and of course this is all illusory. Also I like to complete something, but this is a path that never ends and is scary stuff.

When I started this journey I was beginning to realise the extent of what is, the importance of letting go/being aware in the moment and the amazing potential of this on the meaning of my life and who/what I am. I've worked for the past 4 years on intensifying and developing this (yoga, meditation, self inquiry, learning etc) with massive ego backlashes, jumps forward, insights and breakthroughs) but I seem to be right back to where I started. Strange loops aside, what's this about? Is this the emptiness trying to break through the obsessional seeker?

Think we need some moderators here. I'm sorry you feel this way, but sounds like you need some extra support with this.

@mandyjw thanks for your insights.

@FoxFoxFox Perhaps the desire is the problem, take that away and what have you got? A satisfied cat...? Like alchemy we create these hitches in the path to bring us closer to what is. @Shin I'm not a gamer, sorry, dont get the reference!