abrakamowse

You know what happens @Nahm ? Because we are always talking about it, we take it for granted and I assumed that this was something known in the forum (even if it's not at an experiential level).... that's why I was looking for other "thing"... thanks! I am in the way to grasp it more and more, but I know there's no I in there. Just existence.

@zeroISinfinity

@Maya_0 It's in Leo's video, you have to put your awareness upon awareness itself until it reveals by itself. You (the ego) can't do nothing about it. It will reveal alone, not because we (you) do something.

@zeroISinfinity I am doing what Leo said, keep all the time focus on awareness without any label. Just centering my attention on being aware. Put my awareness on awareness itself, as he explains on the self inquiry video.

@zeroISinfinity I think I was used so much to see it as an idea, that right now I am beginning to get what it was that I experienced. I know I am not the experiencer of anything, I am using these words to translate what happened. But the ego came so quick that it was short lived. But now I know that it is always there...

@Natasha I am not keeping my journal now, I was thinking in doing that again but is pretty old now. @Nahm I am stupid today... why am I so blind? It sucks... I can't see it. What it comes to my mind is that the Ego is a construct, and I could see there's no ego. It doesn't exist. And about existence, all concepts are not true. The world is created through those concepts. In reality there's nothing there, just pure awareness.

I was going to pm. Existence/non-existance has been deconstructed. It's a duality. Not true. It's ok to yell lol... Time also has been deconstructed. ?

Forget what I said. All are concepts. Lol I mixed things. The experience I told you was non existence of the character. My mind is about to blow up. ?

I only know that I don't know ?

@Nahm The "I" I was talking about was awareness, not the character. Ok. First it was just awareness, uthe true "I". Then the false I came and says I experienced it. The character wasn't there. Language is a problem. I have to pay attention how to write and describe it better , I re read my post and it's not well written. But, the small I is awareness living it. And being aware of the "experience".... ?

@Nahm I experienced it, for a very short period of time. There was nothing, only awareness. But the ego came back really fast and got so scared as fuck. When the ego came back the idea of a person came back, my character. And he couldn't remember anything, no story of "me", nothing. At the moment I didn't know what was happening, I thought I was crazy. I thought I was dreaming, now I now it wasn't a dream. It was truth and now I am dreaming. Dreaming about being a person and that there's a world separated from me.

@legendary You are welcome!

Existence and non existence are concepts @Nahm

I think that the disciples of Jesus really didn't understand the message. And there's also the problem that is hard for the ego to recognize he doesn't exist. The message got distorted by the egos of the preachers of that time, that's how I understand why did it happened in that way. The message wasn't understood.

@seeking_brilliance Jesus is you because he was so identified with awareness that he talked as THAT, as awareness. I know you got it, but I just wanted to say it hehehe... is so beautiful to have that realization! :-)

Same experience here! Aaron. When I began to listen to God's voice (the real self) one of the things he told me was "The Bible talks about you". That was really deep! Thanks for sharing!!! :-)

Can be ego backslash. Those thoughts about suicide are not yours either. Just let them go too. When you begin to meditate the ego will fight a lot, maybe you are still stuck fighting against the ego. The ego cannot be fought, you only have to observe it and learn his mechanisms to keep you in the matrix. Probably you are crossing what is called The Dark Night of the Soul. That's why it says in the Psalms "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me." This "walk through a dark valley" is the path of enlightenment that you are going through. You will cross dark valleys to be free.

@kieranperez @legendary I had one psychotic episode long time ago. I was completely acting all my thoughts. I was really what a psychiatrist would catalog as paranoid or plain crazy lol... I said a lot of things that were really true, but I was like yelling, acting crazy and my wife told me that when I talked to her and my daughter my face looked really like the devil. I think the problem is when you don't have any reference in the community about that ego self defense, you can not ground your experience and you are not ready for an ego backslash. IMO. Watch this video on youtube, it helped me a lot to ground myself on reality and to incorporate spiritual experiences much better than before.

Exactly how it feels. And it's a great way to become detached from a lot of BS that goes on running in our mind program/life. Thanks!!!

I mean, like actors... playing our roles. We really don't know what to do, we just reflect on what others do and we respond accordingly with all our processed experiences. But we have to look into us to know what we are going to do next and in others, how others respond, etc... I just had that feeling looking interviews of actors. Everything seems mechanical.

Thanks Nahm, it's good to have a point of reference from like minded online friends, otherwise I would have thought that I was going nuts! Lol... I appreciate your comment!

This feeling is getting stronger and more clear. We are really devils. We act to make our loved ones believe we are victims, we are sad, to manipulate others... OMG. I can see that clearly, in myself of course...

@Anton_Pierre Isn't discussing concepts survival of the ego?

It's good topic for a future youtube video...