Aakash

@Serotoninluv Good you got my point, see my way of thinking is the cowbell can only ever be distracting when you think it is... nothing needs to be really changed and therefore that is self acceptance but the paradox is you can only really be self accepting when you give up the cowbell ring. but to be completely self accepting you have to transcend the idea of the cowbell being seperate to the band and therefore the cowbell and the band exsist together in perfect synchronicity likewise it is also possible to say the band can be much better without the cowbell noise which is also transcendental. so my question to you is, you know your perfect so are you perfect when the cowbell is ringing , or the cowbell is not ringing

@mandyjw lol i watched that , its so funny ... so your telling me you can accept your self as an ego is as perfect as yourself as an enlightened person and there's no difference

@SoonHei yeah i was so in the moment, i deluded myself into think it was over, actually its ironic it came at the best time, after i learnt my beliefs were only beliefs so it did happen perfectly. yeah i will leave it an open book! thanks!

@Serotoninluv @mandyjw thanks !! its so hard to accept that your perfect how do you guys do it !

Don't know if you already know about it, but rupert said its one of the two three books he says that pinnacle of non duality , he mentions it in the first 2 minutes of the video

the cosmic joke is the thing you are seeking is the seeker! LOOOOL! that is "i"

Thanks moderators and everyone i've had the pleasure talking too , leo.... when i found actualised.org i never realised how much my reality would change drastically, it had already been changed by a previous event and my way of thinking but after two years i finally , reached my two mini goals i had set for myself 1) i caught a glimpse of enlightenment to what ever degree it was lol 2) i found the first foothold in turquoise really these two years were so interesting and frustrating that i'm glad i can leave all this behind with a smile and laugh at how funny the world is and how amazing it is but you know i have one belief in my life which i have to follow through with that is: my parents gave me everything and allowed me to follow this path of enlightenment unwillingly, even though i never was able to focus properly on my normal life because i was way too interested in the true self, so they kinda let me do anything i wanted and i've let them down quite a lot in life because i'm always thinking about reality and how crazy amazing the world is, always distracted ahah so its my belief that for them i'm going to live a NORMAL life lol so they don't have to stress and worry that i will be able to survive and not think about this stuff. if it makes them happy then why not , not like they ever going to find enlightenment :') they actively probably hate it after i've been trying for 6 years to figure all of reality out aahaha Plus: i still have the belief that to define my success, if i make a million pounds, nobody ever going to question me about what i've done in my life i.e sitting around and thinking about reality ahah so far best two years of life life aahah but GOOD LUCK TO all of you trying to find enlightenment and with whatever GOD decides your life is going to be like ahah PS: JUST SAYING THE ONE THING I'M GLAD ABOUT IS GOING BACK TO BLACK AND WHITE THINKING, never going to engage actively in paradox's with neither answers being correct lol.

one last song hope you can all resonate with the song in whatever way you can, hope you all live your best life , PEACE

@purerogue this is an amazing video, i think everyone needs to watch this, thanks bro!

@Nahm loool to be fair this will be the first place ill be if it doesn't work out :') ill take your reply as its justified but you know i will do one thing and take that reiki class since i understand turquise a little now

@Nahm ahh man i stayed here so i could finish off the conversation, does my justification not work? in practical normal terms

THE FEELING OF I that feeling is present in each one of us it is shrouded by concepts of dualities these dualities become the way you see yourself and your identification to these concepts there after becomes your identity the ego concept as it may be likes to the confuse itself in these concepts and creating a boundary between itself and the universe concepts become stories, stories happen in time but the ego itself was itself the feeling of I the whole time therefore there is no distinction between ego and non ego this feeling of I THOUGHT it was awareness, the body, the mind, the brain, the hands, But this feeling of I is was itself not seperate from these things, but itself was these things dualities are what seperates the feeling of I , from the feeling of I with the thought of "this is i or i am" but this feeling of I is the god in all of us

@SriBhagwanYogi BRO LOOOOOOOOL THIS! THIS! THIS IS MY EXACT PROBLEM! THERES ALWAYS PERCEPTION OF THE THING THAT I AM CALLING I THEREFORE IT SEEMS LIKE I'M NEVER FINISHED NEVER NEVER EVER THERES ALWAYS MORE TO GO, I CAN'T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT THIS IS THE EXACT EXACT EXACT! PLACE WHERE I AM AT THERE IS ALWAYS AWARENESS OF AND THEREFORE I AM ALWAYS ASKING TO WHOM DOES THIS AWARENESS OCCUR AND THEN I FIND THAT ITS FURTHER ATTACHMENT BY THE EGO AND THEN I DETACH SLIGHTLY AND HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO SO I TRY TO FIND A NEW I

@mandyjw @Aakash Can i just say while i spend my last day on here I'm still laughing at preetoms comment and intuition and its been two days "is your husband by any chance David "the enlightened master" Hammond" of all the enlightened people in the world and he guessed right uncanny

the lasting effect on me or the one thing i have learnt: NOT TO TAKE REALITY SO SERIOUSLY, SINCE ITS ONE BIG JOKE

I'm sure i finally got a glimpse of enlightenment and i understand without a doubt now that you can't help me become enlightened or that the very "nothingness" is beyond questions and words, you can only experience your true self so i wanted to say a really big thank you, every time i came back to talk to you i progressed even further down the path keep up the good work

@Serotoninluv after that glimpse you gave me yesterday, i just had to post this, i now see the value behind psychadelics and why 5-meo by leo to express the true self, that is an ingenious methodology Its by passing knowledgable detachment (KRIYA) , devotee detachment (DEVOTEE), its direct! detachment into true self how amazing is that

@Joseph Maynor thanks that was good information, i definitely will adopt that @FoxFoxFox i will buy it not sure ill read it this year though @Nahm as true as you might have spoken, no amount of crying is going to untie this knot, there are certain absolute expectations should we say, and one is if you come from a background of no poverty then you have to atleast do something with your life lol, the middle way would help and i guess theres no harm balancing exercises i understand these are my beliefs, and that they do not exist but dropping them leads to further non-understanding and thats automatically lobsiding to spirituality, hence its drop everything and go back to normal as the answer i will definiitely be taking it in gear 2 if i ever pick this up again because hopefully i would balance and i actually understand how stupid it is to say this as god,

@David Hammond i see thank you for advise, i will take what you said on board, it will seem important to have a life purpose and i guess since youve suggested twice i will try to meditate without going into self inquiry mode and just be aware of the thoughts thank you for your help, its helped gravely

@Shadowraix Interesting, yeah your not wrong there its the only option i can see going forward, so it has to be the only right answer for me personally as god at the moment , Thanks for the confidence

@David Hammond yeah and i dont trust that peace to sort out my psychological parent issue and therefore i'm at a standstill between choosing right or wrong when actually both answers are right in context, its choosing the one that is more right are my arguments justified and so you recommend to follow enlightenment again after all my pleasures and psychological tendencies are done and dusted

@Rigel how so because you are all bending your realities against the majority of the populations views lol

@mandyjw yes and i'm saying its one or the other because i will always know the truth that it won't make me happy either i completely fool myself and pull a fast one or it won't work out i will automatically lean towards trying to become enlightenment and lose focus on becoming a millionnaire lol does my justifaction stand GOD-MOTHER PUN INTENDED

ohh interesting how soo i would like to think it is for this very reason, without having lived a normal life and going for straight enlightenment at a young age, it doesn't correlate with the flow of normal life, this is a problem alot of youngsters on this forum face,

@mandyjw yes my value system tells me that I should be successful because i came for a family that was well off , my parents have given me ample opportunities to progress in societys way education job etc. but i spent all of them thinking about reality but its not only my value system, it is also in allignment with my parents and therefore it is their expectation that i atleast do something considered normal with my life, not become an enlightened being, that does not count for them