Aakash

Yeah I don’t want to go to war if there is no need to and I’m doing it for a point of ego. I once as a child was naive to believe it possible and over time the vision has become corrupted and hijacked by my ego. There was a time when it was genuine out of pure love for the world. As I grew older I unconsciously demonised as we all do and has left it’s mark. So I would like to know whether it is okay for me to go to change things, now it’s been corrupt, it’s true that I have a more nuanced approach with things now and therefore has caused me confusion such as do I first need to be enlightened before I can cause change

Very true but isn’t there such thing as desiring change from a position of ego and one from a position of love. Changing something because you hate/ demonise something compared to changing something because you love it so much. If this is the case, then I think it’s only possible for true change to occur once you have experienced the truth. Demonising the other side won’t be in your viewpoint

True, so here’s what I can’t fathom, If enlightenment as you said is not about the person becoming enlightened and simply means truth itself to me that means accepting everything so do you want to change how things are going on?

So the truth itself is perfection it’s just about being fine with it ? Your telling me, there is no war you want to face and secondly what is the nuanced of this, that makes what I say so general ?

@winterknight is there a war to fight ? Any war, the war on drugs, the war on non enlightened people (just using it as a phrase, I looked at your last video and gained a great insight), the war against poverty

Thanks this post made me smile and laugh joyfully

Why is it that knowing something is a concept, not enough to stop you thinking about something traumatic that happened. So for example, if I do inner psychology work and get to the root of the problem and understand it as conceptually wrong. Why does it not instantly get rid of it ? I feel like if I work on it practically then I’m giving power to the traumatic experience to then get over it. So at first I thought if I conceptually understood it, it would vanish. But this doesn’t seem the case I don’t want to do something motivated by an experience I went through that was not me anyway. Note: I say traumatic experience but it was just something really personal, that felt traumatic.

Okay I was just projecting there lol, I wasn’t serious but it was a nice ego thought.

Seriously if it’s self actulisation like I thought before I would honestly suppress everything and aim to be the most devilish top dog I can be ?, I’m starting to think what Leo said is true I like being finite and restricted because of the people next to me lol! Sounds solid- never think about self AAAAActualisation work ever again, suppress it and become king of the jungle and take the moral high ground. Say to everyone else come challenge me if you want. I will destroy you, you duality fuck. Ahaha never to question my psychology ever again ahaha Imagining the lifestyle feels good.

But you know I can sense it in me that by unlocking my identification thoughts instead of surpressing them that I’m dwelling in a limbo too long unable to make any decisions/ actions in my life. Noticeably I unravelled more than I knew by doing self actualised work and therefore took longer than just surpressing it and moving on. This includes the time spent trying to understand it conceptually. I think for reaching objective goals it’s easier to lock it up And therefore compound it in your subconscious as to Persue social goals immediately. Now that I’ve understood this,

So essentially the change causes you to change your identification to the new changes and that fear gets forced into your subconscious once again. Whilst when your conscious of it , it’s affecting your thoughts and emotions in the moment. Yeah the feeling of anxiousness around not having the physique. I’m also not talking about the girl and gym.

Yeah your right , I do but let’s say hypothetically , I took a mentally strong approach I grinded out the gym long enough to get some muscles that girls like and I gain more confidence in the process, so now I am not thinking about the stage mentally I was in before. This thinking is gone , does the fear of needing to go gym to get girls still remain underneath in denial or has it gone because I was mentally tough and grinded without liking actually going to the gym?

Thank you all for your responses, much to think about; I have one more noticeable question and that is: in this day and age the average response to dealing with something mental experiences and thought stories - is to “move on and forget about it” this will require you to take a mentally strong approach. Meaning it’s an automatic suppression. To bury it deep down and forget it forever. This is why society rewards people who are mentally strong. However my question is: is this a method of denial? Rather than spending years on the root problem. We continue to define and justify ourselves via our thought stories, I.e I just went through this and this is why I am who I am. This denial is the action of going to the gym after you realise you are too skinny to get girls or must grind daily like to make money. These “mentally strong” ideas that people pick up from self help books to sort out issues. Are these just forms of denials and living a life of unresolved issues after looking at your responses I would rephrase it to, does perceiving yourself as mentally strong and grinding to get to something at all outcomes a denial because the energy of that trauma or emotions is still stuck in your body?

@winterknight yeah i never thought of it like that. I think it is time for me to do psychoanalytics. I’ll come ask you about it another day when I have money for three sessions a week or so thank you.

@Nahm sounds like you hit the nail on the head, I don’t want to do something out of proving that it’s possible or to make people think I’m actually a smart person. After all this enlightenment work that I’ve done (even if it’s been under par) I just want to do something because I want to, but I feel psychologically trapped. I think this is a new day for me, I feel like an idiot for being unconscious so long that I even have these problems. But I only feel I could ever find what I love doing after spiritual work but I could never force myself to do something I like out of sheer survival. Which is why I don’t want to spend 20 years trying to prove something that is wrong because it’s ingrained into my psychology

I’ll give another one: I feel like I’ve let down my parents constantly with the grades I’ve got because I don’t really work hard. So I try to strive to become rich so that when other parents look they won’t see my parents parenting as wasted efforts. Let’s face it, becoming conscious of enlightenment doesn’t count for anything to other parents. They only care about material wealth and job titles at this point in time. So It’s so deeply ingrained in me to become successful and do something amazing so nobody looks at the family and say that my parents spoiled me and I didn’t make anything out of myself. Emotional Side rant defending myself; pssst like they know how complex it is to think about enlightenment and that’s why their kids are able to live normal lifestyles.

@winterknight your right, I can’t argue with that. If I’m being honest, it’s quite bad now that I think about it, but I think I unconsciously took inspiration from Leo reading thousands of books and it seeming like he sorted out his psychology. Which now i understand is kinda stupid but it was reinforced by the fact there are so many enlightened people on here!!!! And I bet none of them went to psychologists, (except you) so it means that it WAS possible to do it through reading books etc.

@Nahmso your tellling me if I sat down and meditated and I sat down and bought consciousness to the feeling of fear of the bee sting. Eventually it would just vanish ?

@winterknight so what makes psychoanalytics so different. It’s obvious to me now that I can’t get rid of any of my fears and deeply ingrained experiences that affected my psychology using conceptual understanding that Leo provides and even listening to videos of any enlightened beings talk about there being no self etc. But I felt like if I took action and did the opposite to solve it, it doesn’t solve it at its root. Another example is to live the best life, I feel like It’s to do something amazing, examples in my past have been choosing subjects to one day be the one to find a cure to cancer, learning about enlightenment to open the minds of others, creating something that revolutionises the world. In one aspect it’s not like I’m wrong to say these things, but if I look into it deeply it’s because I want to say “hey look Im smart, and you are just as smart as me, so you should do something too” but the more I’ve learnt about being human, the more I’ve realised I’m not really doing it from a position of love. It’s turned into a need! Where I won’t be satisfied with life any other way and that is because of ego. But enlightenment is teaching me that it’s okay to be an average person with no ambitions. But my body rejects it, I can’t believe in this as truth. Like you have one life you should live it completely. Anyways it’s turning pathological and I don’t think any amount realising it’s a concept and the world doesn’t exsist will get rid of what ever psychological issue is buried there.

So nahm how would you use consciousness to purify the roots. I thought thinking of it as a concept itself would shine consciousness onto it and purify it but it’s as you said it’s only relative and not the actual love and truth you could say. So how does one purify fears with consciousness, if it’s not by understanding concepts ?

Let me use another example , I am scared of bees and wasp I once got stung, never liked the feeling but it was enforced when I heard a story about a bee going into someone’s brain through their ears , hatching eggs and the guy died because we had 8 bees in his brain. The other day a wasp was in my room and I was terrified to go into it, I didn’t want to kill it like I did the last one because I was trying to be more conscious of natural life, so I tried to capture it in a cup and slide a paper underneath. But at the moment of going to do this, I froze. Inside I thought to myself; this is ridiculous. I am only dreaming all of life anyway, to be scared of pain from a wasp sting is stupid. But yet I couldn’t bring myself to capture it, so I called my dad to get rid of it and he basically just killed it. Whats the understanding and work that needs to be done to fix this as another example.

So i have to go directly to the root of each psychological issue I picked up , re-act the same situation and change the outcome for me to not fear it? So taking this gym debate, I need to go on date with girls looking exactly like I do ? And then only after I have gained confidence, I can go to the gym to feel healthy instead of being motivated by going for girls to think I look attractive ?

Could you explain what you mean in more detail. I feel like everything we know to be ourselves can be rooted back to an experience, even picking up a social belief can be a root issue. But doesn’t healing it using action mean your giving power to it, say for example I feel I need to go to the gym to get woman, it’s easier to understand the concept and know not to do it as that reason but as health. But going to the gym you can’t help but feel motivated for the woman. But going to the gym therefore meant you want woman and that’s why your going . It would be a different story if you never had the thought about woman and then went to the gym . This is only an example for debate

Lol that’s all well and true, but it seems I’m going to have to do something practical ! Instead of just letting go, is it really just as easy as letting go !

I feel I’ve learnt that it’s not a matter of judging things but understanding them for what they are. The problem occurs when we judge them for right vs wrong. For example survival, survival is part of the underlying exsistence. Before I used to demonise it now I’m begginning to think it’s simply part of living a practical life living this practical life therefore means incorporating it in, instead of rejecting it completely.