Aakash

@Shin wow you've sent me into another realisation, i've been doing this for six years thats almost over 40,000 hours of contemplation. thats isane that was 15 hours a day for 6 years.

greetings you are still identifying with your story that you have decided is yourself.. these are the trigger words put together in a sentence even the best of us carry fear deep down inside of us, that don't surface until a trigger is sounded so don't feel too down about it yet when an emotion comes up, just stay with it and don't move for a little while remember to breath and each time you will calm down quicker and quicker fears take a while to process but we either have two choices 1) intensify them by constantly repeating the story in our head 2) nullifying them by just remaining with them until the feeling goes notice both times you can't instantly stop feeling the emotion/ feeling , you have to give your self time to process it to be honest, theres nothing better you can really do in life but process your fears and anxieties as well as self reflect, this will make the future quality of your life much better. becoming conscious of it, is actually a great thing because you know that your the one causing your own pain and not anyone else, you take the victim mentality away from external objects and bring it inwards, which is really painful (i know) but when you let go its even more satisfying knowing you haven't blame others (i know this aswell)

outside the matrix; its nice not to get lost in concept land, its quite unified when you don't take the matrix too seriously its nice but you have to remember that your always at all points in time going to still be living inside the matrix, otherwise you'd probably just be spiritual bypassing or a nature hermit

You should just step back and understand the trigger thoughts that get you to feel anxious, depressed and angry. after identifying these thoughts- write them out and contemplate why these specific words you tell yourself make you feel this way an example would be i hate my body , this makes me feel angry the types of questions you can ask yourself are like 1) does my body need to be a certain size for me to be happy 2) could i do something about my body size 3) does society tell me i should feel/ look a specific way after questioning yourself, you'll come to understand that all insecurities come from a sense of fear locate what you are fearful of subconsciously that makes you think these thoughts and allow some breathing space, and time to work on yourself to face these fears this is one way you can reduce the shit show your ego is not something seperate from you, its the acculuation of all your experiences that make you feel a particular way and repeat actions, if you want to take an answer spritually... you are not the ego, so over time the effect the ego has will reduce , if you work on yourself spritually

there is no location of I, "i" is everything can you only see that there is no dualities, duality creates a seperate self , THIS causes deception after deception and forever for infinity. I am the chair, i am the laptop, the person holding his cat I is the person , i is the cat, i is the experience of holding, i is the wind blowing in the cats eyes, the man eating a cheese burger i is the cheese burger, i is the awareness of the taste, i is the man, i is the concept of the man, the bursting of the hearts arteries i is the arteries, i is the blood gushing out of the arteries, i is the heart, i is the awareness of the bursting heart its not my awareness, its our awareness, i am shedding tears right now, they are our tears , thats love right there, we are crying. we are one The truth is... the true self is .... awareness one experience.

i think this is a misinterpreted statement i wouldn't call it merge, i would just say you start being what you are, merging gives the idea of two things coming together, when really its like shedding of all layers until your at the final layer and you are automatically that thing because you always were that thing in the first place

@isabel How long is the wrong question, because it makes it seem like there was a point in time when i suddenly changed or became something other that is the true self or awareness. this is not the case, you are always awareness, don't take this as some mystical insight or find meaning behind it just yet. i'm simply making a statement of correction i think a more accurate question would be, when will it happen? and to that the answer is what drewnows is saying that it is just a case of how long will you get in your own way, by identification with the mind, as for when i realised that the when the mind is active, the illusion of the mind becomes real when it is able to use thoughts, imagery and distinctions to understand things, so to use the mind to see what you are is impossible because it has to create boundaries within infinity to break down and understand the very thing it is trying to understand. when you use the mind to realise find awareness, you say to yourself I am being aware or what awareness is, but you see, you can't be the very thing itself, if your searching for it. so find out what it is, you need to completely scrap the mind. this includes all notions that you are emotions, thoughts ,feelings and sensations. these all happen WITHIN awarness itself, they are awareness but they're not the final concluding awareness you are trying to find so to speak. when you quite your mind, you become aware of being aware that being aware is your true self, except you still believe that that awareness is yours, this is not the case, awareness is itself the only thing that exsist for anything and to give up the notion of it being yours, you have to see that its your very being aswell as everything else in reality I haven't explained it as well as i maybe could have , but i hope it helps in any way possible non duality is the distinctions you use your mind to clarify things, examples are good vs bad , right vs wrong , happy vs sad, divine vs evil, these distinctions you place on things for example an event where you hurt your finger, you might see it as wrong for the other person to push you and scrap your finger on something. but you have to see that it is a distinction that you are applying that is affecting your own reality bubble. the experience itself is what happened which is what is and what happened, but in non duality terms all dualities are illusions, so the thought that you think this is wrong, isn't an absolute truth and therefore it is considered an illusion by the creation of your mind again hope i helped clarify something at least

probably some time soon, when i get excited again lol @Highest yup yup yup

@Jack River yup yup yup non localized experiencing its a beautiful thing. I MUST LOVE GOING SURFING

I am the unified feild of awareness, it is not a field i am experiencing, but i am the experience itself i am everything i am enlightened/ i am not enlightened i am the entire universe there is no suffering or nobody suffering, only the experience of suffering, the sufferer/ suffering and the suffer itself is an illusion i am the whole thing! i am the connection itself to awareness its one ever present whole nothing is made out of anything other than experiencing experiencing is the only thing present in the experienced event the nature of that experience is knowing i am knowing! this is the true self we are all one! its one thing, its eternal, its not even life and its not even death the words i am, itself creates a distinction that this is me but what i really am is everything, all , god ITS EVERYTHING , ITS EVERYTHING there is no time, there is only the experience we are all one unified love, everything is me Thank you rupert spira for the final words

YUP YUP YUP, dude i can't believe you and i are in the same location loooooool, no wonder quantum entanglement is possible. dude i'm in shock right now, i can't believe its not my awareness but our awareness looooooool! how could it be any other way.

Thats what the eye stands for this whole time! lool! ONE UNITARY INDIVISIBLE TOTALITY INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! i feel ya brother. one awareness OMG! ITS ACTUALLY so simple, its crazy. How the hell did i even get to this crazy experience loooooooool! wtf... this is so hard to make someone realise, i don't even know how enlightened people do this for a living :')

@Mu_ i keep ending up at the same place, "i am awareness". its the place where all experience comes from. its not even i am saying i am awareness , its just awareness itself i don't think it is my awareness, it is just awareness.

just had the realisation, that the pure awareness i thought i was is still an object i am trying to become aware of (like an objectivity) by use of the method "self inquiry" this is not the true self after the subject (observer - awarness) and the object (the objective- the awareness) disappears and my awareness doesn't seek to awareness instead it becomes awareness itself -pure awareness a) there is no mind action which can help - no words or concepts b) its almost like a process of letting go of the idea that theres a subject c) theres seems to be a false notion of a place to get to my eyes are closed , the beggining layers are dark, it gets darker and darker somehow, then i begin to fall, and regain myself, the objective-ness returns and i start to observe my observation. i have stopped letting go at this point, this is false self , after i wait for the next fall. i stop because it feels like a void i would enter where i may never return back from. it feels like a death. I am not willing to enter this void, because its so uncertain, but i want to go deeper and deeper where ever it may take me. Does this resonate with anyone, regarding letting go of self completely.

were on a mission to become aware of being aware being aware and doing things are two different things when the mind psychology creates an object in which a subject is doing something being aware is without a doer, is when both things are one i would question, whether you are the one doing it or is awareness being aware by its natural modi operendum relinquishing the doership, would destroy the mind would vanquish time and any concepts itself being aware is the true self like currently aware of the fact i'm making a concept because i'm using my mind and explaining a state of awareness in the past which is now a delusion but paradoxically i am still the awarness now and forever will be. what do you think of what i have written?

@Rilles Dude this post at the top is exactly! the stage i realised from self inquiry let me go through it so you think that theres a looking awareness, this awareness is you in your prime form, i thought this was called pure awareness but if i asked you to rest as awareness, you would need to find an object (a thought) that everything that your awarness is looking at is awareness too and then you'd be forcing rest Your senses are in awareness, they aren't awareness themselves, all there is at this stage is the looker. i completely get what your saying but if theres a looker and its looking at something, you say I am the looker, then you say where is the looker and you go its me, its right here then you question it until you have doubts that you are the looker if there is one having doubts then there must be a doubter so then you go and look agan this is how i understood the self inquiry process, similarly if you close your eyes, and keep as this looker, then you always need something to focus on, it can't just be settled by itself and BE itself. so naturally you have to give up the part of being the subject how do you give up being the subject you let go? no place or destination, no ambition or goals, just let go until you cease to exsist really. hope this helped

@Rilles see i'm able to grasp the looking part, but i don't think its looking. i think its just is there. the fact that someone is looking implies theres a subject. when i kept as the looker, i thought i was done, but i realised its not the deepest state, the deepest state is to just die and once you've died, i think from that point theres no going back.

@DrewNows those are some interesting words @Mu_ at this point, i can't even use my mind or thought to justify how useless it is to convey a message of thought, its simply no where near what the void is like, really. If i'm being honest, i came as an adventurer, the whole notion of the end of suffering, blissfulness, no pain was nice. at first i thought it would be nice to get rid of those things, but after it became about discovering the truth- discovering the true nature. i completely trust the void because i know it is myself, i think i'm kinda worry about sustaining the void in real life but this is just an assumption and i'm getting ahead of myself. i hope i don't shit my pants, i had another realisation yesterday that the only way to know is to be deep in meditation, really there's no external world, theres only experiencing yourself in deeper levels of letting go. thats why monks take 20-30 years of pure meditation to train to fully embody this awakening process. another realisation was that there was no words beyond this point, all words are useless its literally only about direct experience and how your mind-body is able to work. thats death alright.

yes you are aware of your awareness but thats not the deepest you are awareness yourself, how you get a connection to that is beyond my understanding @BIggleswerth

@cetus56 i'm with you man, i actually don't fear my death at all anymore, i want to find a way to say to my parents, if i die ill be happy af i get to join the infinite and its not a bad thing, don't feel sorry in suffering, feel more joyful about it. but i don't think they'd get it.

@Shin so your perfecting letting go, letting go of what exactly!

been in your position, watch leo's video on cults part 1 and 2

@BIggleswerth you are being who is putting his attention on something, not putting your attention on being @Highest its more complicated than that, the word god itself is an illusion, a pointer if you will just like the other words awareness, consciousness , enlightenment they all mean the same thing.

@Shin i'm with you brother, in my current experiences i honestly think the lowest stage of enlightenment is non duality, kensho or anyother word to realise god. as leo says their all synonymous its just were trying to perfect our deaths or perfect something, our grounding in actuality or now i just can't grasp what that is. what am i perfecting? i definately don't think its my sense of self- that died 1 and a half years ago in one second from a massive amount of suffering. when i started my spiritual journey, to the point where i can't identify with anything as for sure except pure awareness as its most indivisable self . How are you trying to die