electroBeam

@Callum A @Scholar https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dgid-Ag082lo&ved=0ahUKEwi2yoO1p4PTAhWBf7wKHSimCO0QwqsBCBswAA&usg=AFQjCNE52_fbXrZzdCtQ0NDyRgbJkJoQUA&sig2=gq4j1G0ordXz1CQJquGNog Thats really hard to do though, burning an entire piece lf news paper. You need extremely good concentration skills for it. And very good visualization skills.

@cetus56 i was asking because this is what "i feel" at the end of my gazing mirror meditation. This is what causes me fear.

@Callum A some other people have already, ill try and find it

You need to understand the mechanics of deep energy body work to understand why I'm saying its egoic. Bending elements isnt meant to be done whenever you feel like showing off to someone, that mindset produces low energy vibrations that actually stunt your progress. What most of us do in the world is we follow actions that our ego tells us to do, but to build chi energy you need to follow the actions of the tao/god or our inner voice. Your mindset of (we need to show humanity these powers so that they can all be enlightened) is unrealistic and problematic. Get into energy body work, and you'll see what i mean. And m8 trust me, showing the world this energy is equivelant to Galileo showing the church that we dont revolve around the sun(how well did that go?). Theres nothing special about emitting chi into certain elements, unless your worldview denies it. Like theres nothing special about us revolving around the sun, unless your worldview denied it.

I got deeply into energy body and kundalini awakenings/chi energy, and I'm able to burn a piece of paper using it, and make objects move. But I seriously don't want to record myself doing it because A) that's egoic and I don't like that energy, but more importantly B) I seriously am concerned about people either killing me or putting me into a mental hospital. So I would have to say yes it is real. BUT its not as amazing as it seems. Once some paranormal activity is exposed to you, it becomes normal, even boring. Its just apart of nature like everything else. The trick is that it requires at least an existential non-dual understanding for it to make sense, otherwise from a scientific/physical perspective, it really doesn't make sense and seems crazy.

Whose gonna get enlightened????

I use to question girls who were attracted to me in high school, question their personality on a very existential level, while being very indirect. It use to really fuck them up, it wasn't particularly good for them, so honestly I don't think this is a particularly good trait to look for. There is going to be no man out there who has the ability to question you on a very deep level and make you high with insulting you at least once, because that would require knowing your personality, thoughts and feelings more than you do!

@bazera we all die in the end anyway. We loose everything in the end. You didnt miss out on anything. Everyone goes back to the same state they came from. If it happened, it was meant to be.

.....Well, I've currently set myself a goal that i have to go to at least 1 party per week, because i have felt unsocial/autistic/nerdy in the past. I wonder how I should take that paragraph? Woah... aren't you being a little radical? If you dont go to school it could fuck up your life forever. Same with work?? What types of PD were you referring to?

Why dont most modern day people notice the paranormal activity, and it colliding with their worldview then? If it is truly there? No one in the west are being hung anymore.

@Emerald if god wanted you to transcend the ego, he would make that a reality. He has the power to. But its not happening in your case. Imagine how limited the universe would be if everyone was happy and enlightened. Is that the true nature of an infinite, eternal god though?

Does enlightenment go further than that, or is that enlightenment? I mean if one was in that state 24/7?

@cetus56 Losing yourself in nature is certainly fun. That's definitely a good practice. But sometimes nature is so exciting that I'll get caught up in the sensory experiences, and that'll distract me from finding the creator of the sensory xperiences. How would yoy avoid that? Haha true a face is very strange, but realizing it doesn't belong to you existentially tends to freak an ego out.

@Callum A Wont going into the unknown cause the dark night of the soul and send people into a deep depression? Sure people can surrender right now, but there are real consequences, its not like its all just a joke. I do find gazing meditation to be especially effective though. Like maybe even as effective as shrooms(which I have consumed shrooms 4g before).

What Leo Gura said was pretty funny, but I am still seriously looking for advice on how to alleviate existential fear, so if anyone has some, still post here.

@Nahm I know someone who took NN-DMT and then stared at himself in the mirror questioning his existence. He got PTSD . This is where my inspiration comes from to do this. I have a feeling that @Prabhaker has gone all the way. @FirstglimpseOMG That creepy feeling you got in the shower is a tiny taste of what its like. BUT What if you also forgot who you were completely? And that forearm was attached to a ghost that was once you, but you're now dead? Or maybe you thought that arm was yours, but then you realize it never was yours, and that you're actually dead like what happen to the guy in sixth sense, or fight club? ooooooooo

@FirstglimpseOMG just a few pointers: - go into a really quiet room with a mirror, devoid of the world and distraction(even beautiful scenery distractions). - stare at yourself in the eyes. - Start off by detaching yourself from the world: tell yourself you don't want anything from your sensations, that discomfort feeling? Its beautiful you don't want to change it. That beautiful light breeze in the room? You don't want anything from it, you are fine with it leaving. - eventually when the mind is super quiet, as yourself who that thing in the mirror is. If you're like me, you'll start to hallucinate, and your face in the mirror will start changing shape and your eyes will seem to move around, it will seem like another entity/another person staring at you, maybe even wanting to kill you, maybe even a ghost/a hollow thing, maybe youre already dead, and other really creepy shit. - then that face will start to look foreign, like you have never seen it before(existential terror = over 9000). - then if your brave enough, ask yourself, "who is aware/who is staring at this foreign face?" Don't get too caught up in the ideas that the sentence/question will produce, visualize yourself in the world staring at a mirror, really feel like its real. - then really go meta on that thing staring at that foreign face which was once yours, but now you have no idea who owns it. It seems empty and hollow, like it never existed. IDK what happens next because im too scared, but I'm going to take a leaf of Prabhaker's advice, and have the balls to do it. Goodluck, you'll need it. EDIT: btw I know you're excited to try this, but if done correctly, this isn't going to be pleasant.

@BeginnerActualizer I don't 'meditate' in the sense of what people refer to in this forum. My meditation is an expression of a way of life I follow. I don't just meditate 20 minutes a day, and the fall back into my usual patters for the other 23 hours of the day, I continually watch my thoughts and contemplate my identities 24/7. And dude honestly, it might freak you out to think that you have been wasting your time because of some article on the internet, but you need to really start understanding what truth really is, and appreciating the value of empirical evidence and egoic traps. Meditation might be a trap/waste of time, but so might not meditating. You can't rely purely on articles on the internet, and even purely on scientific methods to guide your actions and work out truth, you have to start looking into the present moment and distinguishing between delusion and truth from that place. Otherwise society/science will fuck you in the ass. There are ego traps everywhere, get use to/even accept the fact that you might be deluded and you may be wasting your time, because guess what(assuming here, but im pretty sure due to how most people are), you're already deeply deeply deeply deluded, just like me and everyone else on this forum. I was like you once, scared about being deluded, but you have to let that go, that's the only way you'll actualize.

@Martin123 I suppose because Leo and Osho always talks about how spirituality will woop you in the ass, so I guess tolerating it is the right decision to make.

@FirstglimpseOMG please explain what u mean haha. If it didn't hurt, I would keep going. If I keep going.... it feels like i'll go into a place I've never been before, as alien as a parallel universe, without me being in it. A place without a worldview, a very empty place. But I'm not sure because haven't tried it yet. Going to this unknown place is also very scary too.

@Prabhaker Ive also noticed that when i go out into the street, people ive never seen before in this life seem very familiar. Even places ive never seen before seem very familiar. Thats creepy but not that scary. Ive tasted the thing you wrote about in your last sentence. That's the part I'm talking about. Seeing no one in the mirror, being completely unfamiliar eith the person in the mirror, as if youve never seen yourself before, as if that thing in the mirror isnt even a person but just empty space (even more empty than a rock) is toooo much for me. I stop the practice there. And i dont know how to get over that hurdle.

tl;dr: my social anxiety and low self esteem is holding me back from fulfilling my insecurities of having no dating experience and social skills, and I'm not sure on how to fix it. I'm not sure of whether I should do shadow work, focus on more parties, or focus on studying at college more, im at a loss. Hi guys, I feel completely stuck and unable to actualize. And I just don't know what to do anymore, I have no idea on how to move forward from my complicated position. I have 3 very strong, deep insecurities holding me back from growth: - I feel completely insecure about my lack of dating experience with women - I feel completely insecure about my lack of work experience for employers - I feel completely insecure about my inability to build rapport with people around me(i think i have autism) While I don't have social anxiety, I am still an extremely shy person, and still have relatively low lack of self esteem, even though ive been working on those 2 things for nearly 5 years now. I'm entangled in these insecurities, and whenever I try and fix one, the other 2 jump in and prevent me from mending the former one. For example, whenever I try and achieve pickup, my social anxiety jumps in, and my insecurity about my inability to build rapport jumps in too, and convinces me to not do pickup. Phrases like "you're going to make a massive fool of yourself", "everyone will stare at you and laugh at you" and lastly "why are you doing pickup when you should be working on developing work experience? No employer is going to hire some sleezy pickup artist!" But whenever I try and work on developing my work experience for my job, my thoughts jump in and say "you're never going to get that feeling of deep connectedness from your boss", "You suck at dating, you should be doing pickup right now!" Due to my insecurities, I have literally filled up my timetable to the point where I literally have no time to sit by myself and contemplate life. I have filled it up with going to parties(to build social skills and dating experience) and work(to gain work experience). But my social anxiety and low self esteem hasn't gone away, and I feel like ive made no progress in the last 2 years at all, or very little. Though whenever I try to decide to deny a party, so I can focus on shadow work, I feel a very deep sense of guilt and fear, because I feel like I'm missing out on social and dating experience that I so desperately need. I feel extremely stuck. My ego and insecurities have me by the balls, and I'm deeply entangled by it. My dissatisfaction for my life continually grows stronger, and my desire for truth/my inner voice grows louder every day, and my mental state is about to collapse, I can't keep stuck in one place anymore. Right now, I have a party to attend on friday, but I know that I shouldnt go because I have a test on monday. Though my fear and insecurities about dating are generating a lot of tension within me, and I don't know what to do. What should I do right now to get out of this rut? Thanks guys.

@Martin123 haha I'm like Leo, I seem stubborn on the forum, but behind the scenes I'm taking advice

@Martin123 already am! Thankyou!!! Appreciated

@SBB4746 sure but what i find is that too many negative experiences(I've been cold approaching for nearly 5 years now, starting back in high school where I would just walk up to a random group of friends, even though I was 100000x worse back then, then now) is that the negative experiences build up and actually make your self esteem worse, because it builds triggers in you which goes off. I think too much exposure causes problems too. And I've already suffered heaps!!! Lol I don't know if I can really continue. to put it into perspective, I've added 200 people on facebook in the last 2 months, because I'm neurotic about this problem, and I don't feel like im getting anything out of it. I'm no more liberated now, then I was 2 months ago, let alone 5 yrs ago. I really don't think facing your fears really work. Like in my experience, I've tried that, its not working at all. it like your body changes, and your abilities change, but YOU and your perception of you doesn't change. It stays the same, and its so hard to change. My body just can't handle walking up to another group of randoms anymore, because it knows its not going to get anything out of it. It feels silly and pointless, like for example why would you smash a plate on the ground for no reason? That's how i feel with cold approaching friends, its just silly and pointless and I can't keep doing it. But at the same time still really suffering.