Sempiternity

My only goal for the rest of my life is to 'Kill Myself'. There is no greater gift, than to be free from Ego. Yes that's me. I use to be a high end fashion designer and performer. I did major festivals, fashion shows, stadium concerts and all that. Up on a stage in front of tens of thousands. But it was a world of Ego. I gave it all up to become Enlightened. So that was me a couple years ago. Now I don't care what I look like.

From what I understand of Awakenings, that is a good sign. The goal is to die. The fear of dying is what is holding you back from truly and fully Awakening. True Enlightenment is holding the gun to your head and having the balls to pull the trigger, knowing that your body won't die, but you'll wake up from the hell you're living in and into heaven. But again, to get there you have to have the courage to kill yourself. But instead of a gun which is quick, it's a thousand times worse, as you are killing yourself (your Ego) layer by layer, little by little. So don't shy away from that feeling of dying, relish it. Learn to love it. In a way, become suicidal. Become giddy at the thought of finally killing yourself. Knowing on the other side of your Ego's death is your true Self, which is the deepest peace, love, gratitude, and contentment far beyond what you could ever imagine. It's by far worth the pain of 'dying'.

From what I understand of Enlightenment/Truth/God. All there is is right Now. Space, time, the universe, you and everyone else is the dream of Infinite Consciousness, that is all happening only Now. Your awareness is you being this infinite consciousness. All you are is this awareness. So there is no such this as subconscious or unconscious, only consciousness. This dream that we call reality is ever changing and has a set of rules. When you are 'awake' that is what is happening in this dream Now. When you are 'asleep' and dreaming, that is what is happening within the consciousness Now. It's all the same thing (which is also nothing), it's ALL a dream. When you are 'asleep and dreaming', consciousness creates a whole universe with its own set of rules, just like when you are 'awake' consciousness creates a whole universe with its own set of rules. Only none of it actually exists. It's all a dream made up by Nothing. Now here is where it gets really trippy. If there is no time, all your memories, dreams, the whole universe, everything that has ever happen in your life, is all happening right Now. There is nothing else than Now. Try wrapping your head around that

Are you saving that for a future video or don't plan on saying?

@Leo Gura In your 30 day retreat blog videos you said there was a substance that took you even deeper than 5-MeO, but wouldn't state what it was, saying you would at another time. Have you since stated what that substance was? I had heard that 5-MeO was the best direct way to Truth/God/Enlightenment, but if there is something even better to use I am extremely interested.

@Leo Gura Not saying I'm anywhere near yellow, but the arguing and large egos wanting to comment on everything does make the forum difficult. I personally rarely comment, cause I usually just get ego responses. It can be frustrating. If it was a truly a forum for enlightened people, or people on a dedicated path to enlightenment, and not just everyone with their opinions about everything, then I'm sure more 'yellow' people would comment.

I'm trying to find a source of 5-MeO. But I highly suggest Aya to you. I could tell stories all day about my experience. Very profound. I'm excited to see if 5-MeO is similar. Only problem with Aya is doing it in a ceremony. Too much distractions. I want to go on the journey at home with no distractions to as deep as possible.

@Leo Gura Leo, what's the benefit differences between 5-MeO DMT and Ayahuasca? I've done Ayahuasca (which I loved!) and smoked DMT (which I hated). Have not tried 5 MeO DMT yet.

So you're enlightened and express that by coming to a forum of people trying to find their way and punk them for your enjoyment?

You claim to be Enlightened, yet spend your time frequently arguing with people on a forum. Maybe you're the deluded one? And again, another thread Leo has to lock out cause of all your fighting to be right and feeding your Egos.

I know it's ultimately up to me. Just think it would be helpful to have someone to guide and support. That's a good idea on nondual spiritual gatherings. I wonder if there are any in my area. I'll research that. Thanks!

I know it is a personal inward journey to truly realize what I've always been. But it can take thousands of hours. And I could potentially spend the rest of my life working as hard as I can and sill not reach enlightenment. There are so many traps to fall into to prevent progress. It would help greatly to have a teacher or coach to help guide me through the journey. To push me further than I could on my own. Someone already enlightened, that helps others through the journey. No woowoo or dogma based practices. Just straightforward hard work. Teaching what Leo teaches. Does anyone know of any teacher/coaches that specialize in guiding people to enlightenment? I live in Seattle WA and would love to work with someone here, but would be willing to travel if the coach was the real deal and could actually help me in my path. Thanks for suggestions.

Anyone reading this, if you're not actually answering the questions posed, please just refrain from commenting. I'm looking for actual helpful feedback, not starting discussions. Thank you.

Yes, that's why I'm asking.....

Doesn't matter the reasons why. My goal is to be enlightened, hence why I'm on an enlightenment forum from a teacher dedicated to guiding people to enlightenment. Enlightenment doesn't just happen spontaneously (rarely), it takes work. And it takes the ego being on board for benefits to have the drive to do that work.

Sure studies are inconclusive, but this is something I've felt for years, having experienced it first hand for years in my spiritual community. Yoga and meditation seem to rarely be used to decrease the Ego, but to inflate it. Good article. https://qz.com/1307380/yoga-and-meditation-boost-your-ego-say-psychology-researchers/

Can there be esteem for self with no Self? Or I'm sure that was a joke that went over my head.

To me this is the old way of thinking about Ego. It's not just about arrogance, it's all the good stuff too. If it feeds your self-esteem, it's inflating your Ego, which is the point.

Good points.

Do you guys even realize that if you do not keep turning almost every thread into a fight, Leo could just get fed up at seeing this type of low level childish behavior on his site and just shut it down. Is that what you want? Do you think an enlightened person wants to spend his time moderating and reigning in your ego fights? I've seen nit countless times, where a good forum has to be taken down because trolls come in and start fights till its a cesspool of hate and has to closed. Then all the people who were going to that forum to have good conversations with like-mined people are screwed, and the trolls get what they wanted. This is a fucking enlightenment forum. If you aren't interested in that and just want to pick fights, then just fuck off and find somewhere else to hate.

@Ether Any and all meaning is Self created. Life is empty and meaningless and it's empty and meaningless that it is empty and meaningless.

My first experience of Truth was on a high dose of psilocybin mushrooms. I had never even heard of any concepts of enlightenment at the time. I left my body and went to a place where everything was one. No sense of Self. There was no life or death. I felt that if I didn't go back, which would be body death, it wouldn't matter. Everything made sense, I knew everything. It was bliss on a higher level I thought possible. That night I continued to leave my body at will and go that place, sometimes for hours. Then I did ayahuasca. Again I went to that place of infinite everything, yet nothing. I easily go to that place, no effort. But shortly after I come back, there's a sadness that it's only temporary. And my life goes on unchanged. Why do some people get permanently Awakened after experiencing Truth and others do not? What can I do next time I go there, or shortly after I come back, to become fully Awakened?

If you're wanting to work towards enlightenment, I'd suggest doing it with intention, alone in a dark quiet room, as to not get distracted. You'll be able to go deep and view Truth. If you want a guided experience, that has it's benefits as well. I wouldn't be afraid of psychedelics. It won't kill you, and that fear will prevent your surrender to the experience.

Going to be honest with you, most everything I've seen your posts says quite to the contrary. Getting offended, arguing, stating your opinion on most posts, being right. These are all major Ego traits, not that of someone whos 'ego is mostly dissolved'. No insult intended, just an observation. Consider that that view of yourself IS your Ego and you still have as far of a journey as most all of us. That's a common trait of the Ego to defend itself, to say you've got it all figured out and there's nothing left for you to learn. And all this posting for your own entertainment is again all Ego. If you were anywhere close to no Ego you would either most likely post to help others, or wouldn't even bother.

@pluto Thank you. That makes sense. I think I'll set up an ayahuasca session sometime in the near future, and set intention around doing the deep self-inquiry before, during and directly after. Maybe that will be enough to get close to an Awakening.