Sempiternity

My first experience of Truth was on a high dose of psilocybin mushrooms. I had never even heard of any concepts of enlightenment at the time. I left my body and went to a place where everything was one. No sense of Self. There was no life or death. I felt that if I didn't go back, which would be body death, it wouldn't matter. Everything made sense, I knew everything. It was bliss on a higher level I thought possible. That night I continued to leave my body at will and go that place, sometimes for hours. Then I did ayahuasca. Again I went to that place of infinite everything, yet nothing. I easily go to that place, no effort. But shortly after I come back, there's a sadness that it's only temporary. And my life goes on unchanged. Why do some people get permanently Awakened after experiencing Truth and others do not? What can I do next time I go there, or shortly after I come back, to become fully Awakened?

If you're wanting to work towards enlightenment, I'd suggest doing it with intention, alone in a dark quiet room, as to not get distracted. You'll be able to go deep and view Truth. If you want a guided experience, that has it's benefits as well. I wouldn't be afraid of psychedelics. It won't kill you, and that fear will prevent your surrender to the experience.

Going to be honest with you, most everything I've seen your posts says quite to the contrary. Getting offended, arguing, stating your opinion on most posts, being right. These are all major Ego traits, not that of someone whos 'ego is mostly dissolved'. No insult intended, just an observation. Consider that that view of yourself IS your Ego and you still have as far of a journey as most all of us. That's a common trait of the Ego to defend itself, to say you've got it all figured out and there's nothing left for you to learn. And all this posting for your own entertainment is again all Ego. If you were anywhere close to no Ego you would either most likely post to help others, or wouldn't even bother.

@pluto Thank you. That makes sense. I think I'll set up an ayahuasca session sometime in the near future, and set intention around doing the deep self-inquiry before, during and directly after. Maybe that will be enough to get close to an Awakening.

@Ether Serious question to you. To me it seems you make most posts about you. Are you posting so much because you're wanting to learn and are serious about doing the work to get rid of your Ego, or are you posting so much to feed your Ego?

Is it possible it can be simple too? If most fear is based on fear of death, and most of reaching enlightenment is surrendering, then all one has to do is surrender to death. Choosing death. I think the views on the Truth (which I'm new to) make that easier. If you are consciousness, always have been and always will be, then 'death' is irrelevant and moot. So not sure why this would take decades. It can take seconds to surrender to this understanding. Then death isn't even a consideration. Then no fear.

Asks if he's at peace, then proceeds to get in arguments with everyone. Oh the irony. The answer is no, no you're not.

I hear ya. At the very least remember that there is no meaning to anything, other than what you create. No matter what happens, create the meaning that serves you and all others best.

Coming from Enlightenment or Nonduality, there is no separation between you and this girl, or anyone or anything for that matter. You and her are the same and one. You cannot break up with yourself or lose yourself or get rejected by yourself. Do the work and become Awake. You'll never be separate from anyone ever again. You'll never be lonely or feel the pain of loss. You'll always be one with everyone and everything. Then you'll know what real love is.

Things like race, gender differences and the value of 'education' are all made up ego stories. None of it is real. We are all the same and in non-duality we are one.

I think he meant that out of millions of people that may choose to go down the path of enlightenment, only one would be able to actually reach/realize/awaken.

Thanks for the great replies everyone. Lots to chew on.

So if Enlightenment is not experience, not Self. The goal is to be nothing, with no experience, why would one want this again?

How can you know this, without having experienced Being without Self/Ego? Only a handful of humans in human history have ever experienced this. Even Leo isn't there yet. Without direct experience of Truth, isn't it all just conjecture and theory?

Pretty sure you're misunderstanding what Leo means by 'god'. Its not a deity, but everything. You're everything (and nothing). It's just a word trying to explain the unexplainable. This is what Leo is trying to communicate. You can also call it Consciousness.

This has been my biggest difficulty with working towards Enlightenment. So far no one here has really answered this. People can have opinions, beliefs or concepts of what is there beyond a Self/Ego. Some say it is impossible, as there can be no human existence, without at least some Ego. To have none is death. One cannot answer this question without having achieved it. Hence the conundrum. Does one spend their life working towards something that they can't understand, or even know is possible, just to basically kill themselves in the end? If true enlightenment, which is death of Self occurs, there is no self to enjoy it. So isn't it better to be a Self and enjoy it, for as long as you're alive? You'll be dead soon enough. Why waste the gift on trying to get there faster? Hopefully @Leo Gura weighs in on this.

When I first started watching Leo's videos, I instantly got engrossed in the teachings. I got addicted to watching them all. As they all build off of each other. So in watching most all videos, I was getting a clearer and clearer picture of how I personally could actually achieve Enlightenment and end all my suffering. Then I discovered there was a Forum on the website. I was excited to engage with others that were on a similar path. Discussing many of the intricacies of the wisdom. To my surprise, it seemed, at least to me, that many people on the Forum seem to have not seen many of Leo's videos. Or coming from a place of opinion and beliefs on Truth, other than the teachings. Of course all are welcome, but I guess my question is, why come to this particular forum, based on a very particular and specific teachings / wisdoms / beliefs / line of thought, if you either don't follow a similar path, want to be on a similar path as what actualized.org teaches, or interested enough to watch a majority of the videos to share an informed opinion of that site's Forum? No kind of accusations or anything, I'm generally curious to hear other thoughts on this. Thanks!

If I spent thousands of hours and maybe decades to finally completely kill myself / Ego / sense of self and separateness, and realize limitless infinity / God. In that ultimate moment of killing off the very last bit I'm holding onto, is it possible for my body to die too at that crucial moment? I guess that fear of actually killing my body (in this case, accidental suicide), would be that last fear block that would keep me from going into complete enlightenment. With this block, I'd always be at 99%, never able to get past that last percent. And I know that if my body did die, it wouldn't matter. I'd still be consciousness, without a Self, which is what enlightenment is. So no difference. I'm more concerned with not being able to enjoy being enlightened while "I'm' this life, because that fear block of dying, whether rational or not, is keeping me from achieving this. And of course as I progress and achieve higher consciousness, my fears will dissipate as well. So yeah, do you think it's medically possible for the physical body to die, when the Self dies? Has this ever happen? And if it did, how would we know? Have others had this fear and got over it? If so, how?

Oops, sorry.

Good timing. Leo's latest video covers this very topic very well. Jump to 58:00.

"Ego killing is as stupid" If you believe that, why come to his site, just to tell people your opinions? I wouldn't necessarily go to Dodge dealership site and comment that vehicles are stupid and I believe in bicycling. What would be the point in that, other than to get the satisfaction of me being right? I'd personally go to a bicycling site to discuss bicycling, and not bother with the car dealership sites.

I'm going off of Leo's teachings, which is what this site is based on, which is about No Self / Ego.

Never said the path to enlightenment was quick and easy, quite the contrary. Just even watching Leo's last blog video from his 30 day retreat, showed me just how hard it is. It's literally killing yourself, but worse. You have to have the will to slowly kill yourself, layer after layer, for maybe decades, till there's nothing left of you. You have to have that level of will to kill your(self). No easy task. Nothing matters. Just curious and thought it a good topic of conversation. People can do whatever, just curious about thought patterns and reasonings. But, none of it matters. I'm on my path and doing the work. Just haven't gotten to the place of doing it 24/7. Little bit at a time. As much as I can. But also leaves time for other pursuits within the realm of my interests.

No Self, no psychopathic tendencies. It's all part of Identity / Ego / Self. Enlightenment being the loss of Self. Once achieved there is no relating to anyone else as separate than you.

*note* I'm really asking Leo here and hope he has the time to answer. I'm not looking for every Joe blo's opinion from their beliefs. I'm not interested in opinions. If you really think you can answer these questions, from actual experience, and not coming from a place of feeding your Ego's importance, then yes please, I'd love to hear your wisdom. In the video, you talk abut it taking the will to give up literally everything, including the will to live, to become Enlightened / Awake. You have to 100% commit and surrender to dying. Not 99%, but 100% giving up your life totally and completely. The will to pull the trigger, but 1000 times worse, as your killing yourself over years or decades. Watching everything in your life, everything you love, all slowly die off piece by piece. Sounds like the worst misery. But, you're saying this is the only way to actually wake up. The Only way out of the suffering. The only way to ever actually feel true love for anything. But here's the problem I have. I've already died. I've stopped breathing, turned grey, lips blue, and felt the numbness and darkness envelope me. Felt my life fade away into nothingness. I got to the very very edge of forever death. And in that moment, on that edge, I said 'No, no I will not go now! I will fight with my very last bit of will to not go over that edge. I had more will than I ever have in my life to stay alive. And I did. I met death and lived. But in this video, you say the only way I can become Enlightened, to become Awake, to ever stop all the suffering, to actually experience real Love, is to go to that exact same space on the edge and say "I surrender to death". I...I, do not think I can do that. Knowing what it felt like to die, I don't think I can willfully do that to myself. Now here's my real fear, knowing that I can't willfully kill myself, I might spend the rest of my life knowing that this is the only thing there is to do with my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, not sex, not women, not pleasure, not purpose, not companionship, not even love, or even the basic joy of being alive, absolutely nothing is going to satisfy me or bring me any kind of real happiness. Only being Awake / Enlightened / Truth / being God, will I ever experience peace. Knowing that this is possible, and never trying, will drive me mad. Always knowing its there and possible, but I'm too chicken to try, the rest of my life will be fucked. If I try and fail for decades, wasting my life, my life is fucked. If I can't summon the will to actually kill myself (which I know I can't do), then the rest of my life is fucked. I won't be able to forget this, or let it go of this, if I know that there is a chance that all the suffering can actually go away. I just don't know what to do, if I can't do what you're saying I have to do in this video. Sorry for all the reading to do, I tried to make this as succinct as possible. And thank you for any answers or insights.