Sempiternity

**If you yourself haven’t actually surrendered to your own death, died and experienced God/Truth/Infinity, I request you not comment, as you’re in the same boat as me, all conceptional and non-experience based opinion.** --------------------------------------------------------------------- Leo, If everything in life is imaginary and I (God, whom I’ve yet to realize in actuality) am creating this eternal moment, then that should mean that everything I heard about death is false and just as illusionary as everything else. So if I am immortal and eternal, then my (the Identity Ego) death is as inconsequential as waking from a dream. But everything the Ego is about is survival, staying alive, so how do I commit to my death, when everything I am doesn’t want to die? Is it a leap of faith? You have to have the will to die, commit suicide, commit fully to the end of your existence, standing strong in the faith that enlightenment is on the other side of that committed choice? I was an Atheist all my life, up until I discovered Nonduality, so death being the end of existence is still deeply ingrained (all a story I created, I know), even if I now know that I cannot die, at least in theory via stories from other people. The key is I need to experience myself as Nonduality, to finally ‘know’ Truth/God/Infinity/Omnipotence. But to do that I need to fully commit to my death. Otherwise I’ll just fight death with everything I’ve got to fight it off, to stay alive at all costs (including my Awakening and liberation). Which is what happened last time I did 5-MeO. Now I’m trying it again, and want to not fight it to stay alive, but to fully surrender to experience Truth. But how can I if everything in my Identity is trying to stay alive? Catch 22 is it not? How does one commit and surrender to their death if everything they are does not want to die? How does one commit suicide (Ego death thru psychedelics like 5-MeO or DPT), if they desperately want to live? I know you and others say it’s not real death, that you’ll come back after, but I don’t know that for 100% sure. I mean from everything I’ve studied over that past 2 years tell me I will come back, but I won’t know for sure until I experience it for myself. Even if I was 95% sure, that 5% would prevent me from committing to surrender of my life to death. In Nonduality, everyone says the goal is to actually not come back. The goal IS my death. So again, how do I surrender to death, without just saying ‘you just do it”, how do I have the will to commit suicide (again, talking Identity Ego death, which is apparently the same thing as conceptual death)? I’m 44 and have spent decades doing every drug I could get my hands on. I’ve done LSD and mushrooms hundreds of times, I’ve done hash, Ketamine, Nitrous, 5-MeO-DIPT, Ayahuasca. I’ve even done 5-Meo a few times, to little affect. About half of these experiences lead to me having a panic attack, thinking I’m dying and trying to fight to not die. But these drug experiences were all to enhance my reality. And 5-Meo is about ending it. So all those past drug experiences are not relevant to this equation. Is surrendering to death on 5-MeO the same as surrendering to a drug? Letting the drug take you wherever it wants. Is this surrender the same as surrendering to death? I know conceptually that all those past experiences never really happened, as my past experiences are imaginary (apparently), but I won’t know that for sure, until I Awaken. But those hundreds of instances of panic attacks and fighting to not die, are real to me, as I’m an Ego, thinks his past is real. So you see the catch-22 / vicious circle? How do I trust, when the request is my very death and the end of my life? I don’t know if I have that much trust in me, to gamble with my life. So what advice is there to be able to choose that trust, to take that leap of faith, to chose to chose to end my life? How do I trust that if I kill myself, I’ll Awaken to Truth/Liberation/Enlightenment, and not just be ending my consciousness, potentially robbing myself of maybe another 40 years of a decent, it not flawed life? Now I’ve learned that the only way to Awakening/ Truth is to be in that same space of feeling like I’m dying, panicking again, but this time I have to choose to die, instead of trying to save myself. But how can I do that, willfully commit, surrender to my death? How can I choose to die, when I can’t, cause my very survival and life is all that matters to me? Could really use some advice on this.

Does 5-MeO go bad, as in lose its potency over time? I've had a couple grams for 7 months, kept in a cool dry place. Would it lose its effectiveness after that much time, or will it be good for a long time?

Not necessarily. If Nonduality is true and all this is an illusion, and death is a story, then it's likely that once this particular version of existence has 'ended', then all of the illusion will end with it. As Leo has said, my family (as is everything and everyone) doesn't exist. They are all dream characters. Once I wake from this particular dream, they don't exist to morn.

Thank you! Great advice!

There suddenly being no more me, and being God creator of everything, seems like a big deal. I honestly wish I didn't know anything about all of this, and someone just came up to me with 5-MeO and said "here try this". And then got to learn about Nonduality after the fact.

Thank you @Leo Gura and @SunnyNewDay for the advice.

@Natasha Nice to see a Woman depicted as the Enlightened Guru for a change in a comic depiction.

Yeah...those are slight of hand. Like card tricks, it is not real magic. Can't believe anyone would think it is real magic. But, people believe the world is flat, so anything is possible. ALL of everything is illusion in the sense that life is a dream. See Leo's video on Life is a Dream. So in that sense any trick is an illusion, as is literally everything, all of Reality.

God (you are God) created suffering to experience suffering. It's not bad, it just is, to be experienced. God created torture so it can experience torture. You (the Ego) is a video game character being played first-person by God (the real You). That video game character will get hurt, get beat down and will die. Then you (God) will load a new character and play some more. The key is to awaken to who you are (God) know that you are experiencing a video game character and enjoy the ride, suffering and all. *hint. Once you awaken to who you are (God), there won't be any more suffering. No self, no suffering.

He said in the video that at that level of oneness with God to be able to alter the 'rules' of reality, other people would no longer be other people and you would no longer be 'human'. It would not register to the dualistic world. So no, you can't get proof. And welcome, Frank. Happy to have you join in.

Here's a bunch of trip reports if you all want to get a feel for what others have experienced with DPT. https://erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_DPT.shtml

Two Douche Bros are discussing what to do for the weekend. Douche Bro #1: 'Dude! Lets get wasted, get some chicks or play some video games. Douche Bro #2: " Whatever brah man, it's all the same". ------------------- Brah·man /ˈbrämən/ In Hinduism, Brahman is the ultimate reality underlying all phenomena. Brahman is formless but is the birthplace of all forms in visible reality.

Think they meant it to be a fictional story. What interests me is that this idea of IV drip and being able to be fully nondual for 24 hours+ is beginning to take off. I had an idea awhile ago about opening up a clinic somewhere like Costa Rica. Partner with registered nurses and doctors, where they medically administer IV drip of 5-MeO. There could be a pre-session explain what to expect, and a post-session teaching how to integrate what was experienced. Could be marketed as a suicide prevention retreat center. "Die before you die". But the larger picture would be legitimizing such profound Nondual experiences. With the expectation it would catch on and see thousands per year. You want to change the world, I could see this as one of the best ways.

Ah, sorry missed that part. Advice still stands. If it was a small amount, and you haven't felt anything after this much time, you should be just fine.

Hey, I don't quite understand the questions. How does one accidently smoke 5-MeO? If it was a small dose, why would you be worried? Why do you consider this stupid to do 5-MeO? It should come on almost instantly if smoked. If it has been a half hour, you're way past any point of it doing anything, if it hasn't already. So nothing to be concerned about. In fact, if you've got it, I would do more.

@Leo Gura Now this confuses me a bit. If one knows without a doubt that they do not exist, are an illusion/video game character, and the true self is God of everything and is immortal, then why would one have even the slightest fear of death? If one knows the body isn't real, why would you care? Knowing that the illusionary body's instinct for survival is part of the illusion. In this space, I would suspect death would mean nothing at all. No more than a video game character you've been playing dying, utterly meaningless.

Leo or the mods do not owe anyone on this forum anything. It's a service that you are welcomed to participate in. There are rules. If you don't follow them, there are consequences. It's really that simple. If I invite you to a party at my house and you come in saying the party sucks, I suck, and annoying my guests, I will ask you to behave and if you don't you can leave. You have no right to be at my party, it's a privilege. If you don't like the way the forum is, you're free to leave. But don't tell the host how to run his party, when you are the guest.

I highly agree.

In other words, please quit fucking with the Forum or you'll loose it. I know it's human nature to keep pushing things till it gets destroyed. But I personally would like to see this forum prosper. By continually fighting against the way you think it *should* be run, you are making it worse. Do you want to see the forum shut down? Keep on pushing and it will eventually happen. *Speaking to everyone arguing about moderation.

The major difference between Leo and Teal is money. She changes $3000 per person per talk. Leo shares his knowledge for free. Teal sells mugs, shoes, hats, Yoga matts, tote bags, gift cards, and posters she sells on her website. Leo only sells a book list and a life purpose course. Both he spent a lifetime developing. Leo is in this to share knowledge. He only make enough to keep a roof over his head. Teal is in it for millions of dollars, as much as she can fleece from her followers. She is in it for fame and money. That there is a HUGE difference between these two.

You do 5-MeO, or breakthrough another way?

As for finding places in your area. I would suggest going to some conscious culture hippy festivals this summer in your area. Maybe something Burning Man related. Or some phycedilic music festival. Get to know people. Make friends. Get in with groups. After that, start asking if anyone has done Aya locally. Usually someone knows someone.

My advice: Find ones where the do NOT do all the playing music and chanting crap. I personally hate that. I want to be at peace and quiet when diving deep into the medicine. Everything else is distraction. But lots of people like all that stuff. Practice meditation beforehand. For me, meditation is the access to the medicine. Mind-chatter will keep me from sinking into it. One there is no thoughts, there is nothing in the way to sink and keep sinking till I'm gone. Most all places tell you to go on a strict diet for 2 weeks beforehand. No pot, alcohol, sex, drugs of any kind, especially anti=depressants and anti-anxiety medications. No pork, no foods with fermentations. I'm sure you could find full lists online.

Depends on your location.