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Hi, My cognitive style is... Intellectual My organizational style is... Focused My energy style is... Ambiverted My stress management style is... Resilient My interpersonal style is... Collaborative Openness Traits My level of imagination is high My level of artistic interests is low. My level of emotionality is low. My level of adventurousness is about average. My level of intellectual interest is high. My level of liberalism is high. Conscientiousness Traits My level of self-efficacy is about average. My level of orderliness is high. My level of dutifulness is high. My level of achievement striving is about average. My level of cautiousness is high. Extraversion Traits My level of friendliness is about average. My level of gregariousness is low. My level of assertiveness is about average. My activity level is about average. My level of excitement-seeking is about average. My level of positive emotions is low. Neuroticism Traits My level of anxiety is about average. My level of anger is low. My level of depression is about average. My level or selfconsciousness is about average. My level of immoderation is low. My level of vulnerability is low. Agreeableness Traits My level of trust is about average. My level of honesty is high. My level of altruism is about average. My level of cooperation is high. My level of modesty is about average. My level of sympathy is about average.

What I've learned and felt is that suicidal thoughts of your physical being is really unconscious; depending on the situation they are full of anger, desperately wanting to be free (not accepting, just wanting to leave) and emptiness (in a negative way). But suicidal thoughts of your ego are highly conscious; full of calmness, surrendering feelings, emptiness (in a positive and nice way) and freedom (accepting and letting go).

It's so weird how ego plays with one's mind. I'm not afraid of dying even though I had one close to death experience and many suicidal thoughts before, but funnily I am afraid to see other creatures. Probably mainly because of hearing a lot of stories about how if you let them in, they may ruin your life or control you. I'm thinking now, that is because you went half way not all the way to death of your ego. Does it make sense?

Hello, I have been sensing other beings while awake and seeing some while half asleep or in my dreams. It freaks me out a lot and I haven't tried as hard as before to go deep in my meditation lately as I'm afraid I encounter something. I know I should focus on the fact that this is my ego teasing my spritual process and I should accept those the same as real stuff that we see every day. But it is still hard for me especially as I live alone (with my cat but still..). Any suggestions? Thanks

True

I totally agree! Porn and sex desires are different. Porn is generally aggressive and pushes the desire to you, especially when you are desperate or addicted or just want to be done fast. Sex is natural, even though any need and desire can become addictive, when not addicted, sex and also masturbation are healthy for you.

I don't think being on anti- depressants means some one is undeveloped. Maybe they are going through something and they are just too deep in it to be able replace it with something else. But as a person who has taken them a long while ago, I know they generally suck if you really can find other ways. I know I was stuck and was not deep in self development. They don't work magical, they just keep you in a better mood by numbing some of your senses until you find another way. Actually when I improved my situation, they didn't have so much to numb so they hit me so strongly that even my tasting sense was compromised! Let alone the other ones.

That's really nice It just gets better from here.

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo, I'll focus harder on that

@Neo @Sirius I understand what you mean. I meant more like documenting their patterns, not intending to admire or solving them. Of course if you prefer ignoring them, that's probably the best way for you. For me it works beside focusing on also ignoring as meditating. Knowing which thought could trigger what kind of thought pattern helps me to know beforehand what kind of mind trick it is gonna play with me this time. And if it is going to get to some loops of darkness, distract them. Probably I need this until I get stronger in zooming out and ignoring them for longer periods of time.

I think mainly us women of this forum are wondering if you could explain this further?

Lol I'd try facing here at first though. If she coudn't understand, then ignoring is a good option. As she is being ignored, she may think about the reasons you gave her before.

Hi, I think other than meditation, you can try writing the thought cycles and chains down. It has helped me to know what triggers and how they end up in messed up places. Taking notes and analyzing them calms my thoughts in a bit different way than meditation does.

First experience is probably the most memorable one as your mind is being opened to a new world. From there you get the hang of other drugs also. Try not to be so brave on the amount you are taking, you won't regret it. On my first trip which was on pot, I was still going through depression, I cried a lot! It felt sad and beautiful at the same time.

If things are happening due to chain of events, actions and reactions, etc, you would compliment them or you wouldn't due to what you think at the moment of decision making. You are thinking about if it matters or not and in any case you still may or may not end up to doing it. Also afterwards, that person gets your result and it influences them in a way.

I'm afraid not. I did a lot of them from different and a bit random sources when I googled. The point for me was that almost all resulted the same.

Glad to be able to help I feel you! Perfectionism and people pleasing have been two of my worst enemies for a long while which I have been working on to reduce. They have made me feel lost, confused, not enough or not deserving good things. Healing from them and the past is the best way we can stop the cycle of being bad parents.

I don't think that Leo's video means you have to act like a male if you are a female in a male body and that if so, you can never enjoy sex! I suggest being a bit creative with those videos and consider the one for women also. In my experience, the true flow happens due to experience, the length you and your partner have gone to know yourselves individually and together, intimacy, acceptance of physical body and the being inside it, etc. It doesn't matter so much with whom you are having the sex with when you know you are not fitting in with the majority's norms.

True. Observing helps a lot, with most things actually I'm not sure, I think I keep digging and practicing myself for a while. About what you said that you are similar, I suggest you taking some tests online. There is a thin line between all the categories they have and it's nice to know which you are closer to in order to have less confusion. Of course it's amazing not to care about it much, but it's usually not nice when it kicks in and you notice how annoying it is.

Thanks I'll try that book. I have started my spiritual journey and have been in it for a long time now. This thing is a bit new to me as it revealed itself and started challenging me when I learned to open deeper parts of myself up. I think I need some adjustments to reduce the strength of some of my beliefs that are still standing (referring to the web of beliefs video of Leo).

I replaced it with big portions of different vegetables. It's a bid hard at first, depending on how dependent you are on bread, pasta, rice etc, but it gets easier and feels a lot healthier soon enough. The key is to take it slow and just reduce the exception times to the number you want per week. Also, be creative, maybe add something you like; nuts, cheese, some oils, etc are so tasty. I have lost weight and nowadays I feel kinda heavy when I eat foods with bread, rice or pasta. If you don't wanna cook many times, cook the meat part once a week and just warm up/cook veggies in the oven or microwave before you eat. I didn't cook the veggies for a while and I got digestion problems a bit.

Thanks for caring and following this I know some of the confusions come from being gender fluid but I feel myself having this tendency to force the feminine side to stop itself or probably I look down on it and assume it weak even though my logic says otherwise. And well, I know most of it if not all, comes from the past. I don't want to blame and I want to fix it in myself, but mostly I'm not sure what should I do. Like many times (especially casual ones) when I dress feminine my masculine part is like wtf is this. I ignore it but it makes me really self conscious and uncomfortable sometimes. On the other hand, I feel myself stopping the feminine part when the masculine one does something similar. There is this constant war in my head and I feel I'm in between cheering for and supporting the masculine one! Kinda funny when I'm imagining the picture now I got this great advice from one of my friends who is in a similar situation; she said that maybe I should stop labeling and categorizing things by them being feminine or masculine so I can have some peace doing any. Seems promising and it has helped, but I prefer a deeper fix on this. I have done some research but there is not much sources about it due to me being a bit of a minority. P.S. I hope this is still OK under the subject of this topic.

Your mom doesn't have the right to do it if you don't want her to. Even if you are still living with her. Worried parent is one thing and being a controlling parent is another. My dad used to do this a lot, I forced him to text me instead of call as I put him on silent. It may feel a bit disrespectful at first but if they are able to consider it when you explain to them that you understand their worries, it should be fine. Now away in another country for years, he still calls many times and I call back when I'm able.

I think I have been really confused also. But took a while until I accepted that I am somewhere in the middle with both sexuality and gender. With the sexuality, I thought I am attracted to opposite sex when I was younger. But thinking back many times I realized how much I was also attracted to the same sex and didn't really take it to count before. Later on, actually experimenting by doing it helped to realize where am I on the scale. Now I know I am more to opposite sex but mainly because of physical aspect. In that sense, I get attached emotionally to any gender. About the gender (not sure if you need this also), I have always been boyish at home. It didn't bother before but at some point last year it just became a huge confusion for me while going higher in personal development so I took online tests. I am gender fluid and counted as queer in LGBTQ. Mostly I am somewhere in between but masculine and feminine sides just come out sometimes and confuse the other :D. I suggest taking different aspects of yourself related to these more seriously. Observe when you may be attracted to the same sex or how often do you feel willing/wanting to be with one. With the gender; probably confusion could be the biggest clue, about when you are dressing/looking more masculine or feminine and how you feel like defining yourself.