28 cm unbuffed

i'm have no fucking idea what's going on, but please hear me out there is a concept called "twin flames" in spirituality and i think i found mine we had this karmic contract with each other: i'm this jealous, needy guy, who was too scary to engage on her sexually (karma which I got from my mother I think: she got cheated on by my step father after 25 years of relationship) she is a girl, that doesn't give a fuck and always gets what she wants (her mother is the same and she cheated on her father just to make him less lazy and to become responsible) dark night of the soul got activated by her "breaking my heart", i felt her having and orgasm with someone and that crushed my solar plexus chakra into pieces and created a channel from root chakra to heart chakra, so that i can feel all of stored emotions and i get these "dark energies" attacks from all around that i have to "fight" now she is like Marie Magdalene in Christianity or Goddess Kali for Hinduism and my job is to help her heal now it's so fucking crazy and I would never believe that, but yet it's real

https://upliftconnect.com/hawaiian-practice-of-forgiveness/

@EvilAngel yeah, also prayers like "god save me" or "god help me" are like telling yourself "i'm missing something" be grateful and say "thank you for everything god", i know it's counterintuitive, but that's what you gotta do

@Beginner Mind it's energy that women are attracted to, not the looks it's all about how they "feel" about the man, personality and shit are just byproducts of our vibration

@Mikael89 yeah, my bad, but i can say just from my experience maybe all you need in life is a needy desparate housewife, dunno

@Mikael89 it's 100% true for some time you will be amazed by how beatiful she is and how much she loves you after that you will start to see that she needs you more than you need her and it will start to annoy you you will start to fuck her like crazy to compensate yourself higher values that way and then you will start to hate her and not even want to look at her anymore trust me, i've been there, there are levels of destroying ego and awakening to a true value of a girl you are dating

Aaron Abke is fucking great, love his channel

@Aquarius you mean turquoise

@Leo Gura Great stuff man, just what I needed right now in my life, thank you.

@Mikael89 Dunno dude, there is a lot of "out there", "woo woo" stuff that is unbelievable first and then you're like "wtf it works". I came from materialist, left-hemosphere, logical thinking too, now I'm into ezoteric concepts and it blows my mind. It's your stage, maybe someday you'll understand that.

@Pacific Sage https://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?clang=e;stx2=s%3Douts%3D24;btyp=2;rs=1;mth=gw;ls=1;nhor=1;cid=185file1osS4A-u1561570163 also - i recommend this youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8O3h1Ly4xUK0BvRdZ-BCUw

It's not, read something about mercury retrograde and what's happening right now. Btw, telling things like "only thing that is right is awereness" is just being an arrogant prick. Of course only this is true, but we live on a fucking Earth, inside a "dream", none of that is true, but that's where we operate from right now, this fucking moment. Writing "enlightened quotes" like that is just ego level 999.

@Mikael89 wow you're so smart

Yeah dude, it's like - everything is self bias and you can do whatever the fuck you want. It doesn't change the fact, that there are rules - you can give zero fucks but rules still apply to you. The more consciouss you become the more "part of the whole" you become and you start to go with the flow, with collective conscioussness, and Solar System is a thing you can refer to, to figure out what is the best next step.

@Aeris i'm not sure if he gives a fuck about stage blue people lol about your chart - i don't know, i'm not an astrologer, but new moons and full moons affect you and i've experienced it many times already if it's a comfirmation bias - let it be, because it's fucking awesome and i grew like crazy thanks to that knowledge i've spoken to astrologer via skype and just by looking at my chart he knew about my childhood, my traumas, my intimacy issue and a lot more stuff, he couldn't just take it from "stars" (well, actually, he could)

@Aeris mbti is like understanding mind pattern that each personality type uses to work with data (aka real world) the more you understand it, the more you will start to see others in yourself and yourself in others and that's what integration / conscioussness work is in a nutshell astrology is a real thing btw (even Leo says that, if I'm not "too smart" for you)

@Strangeloop oh shit you might be gay, that's so fucking cool dude ^^

@Strangeloop i had a similar dream some time ago it was not "gay shit", it was about my friend wanting to hug me and i started screaming "no, no, no, get off me!" when i woke up i had this strange "gay" feeling and i started thinking "am I gay/bi or something?" easiest way to find out is just to ask yourself - "did i ever felt a need to look at another's man butt?" - if not, do not overthink it, it's normal if you can differenciate if someone's handsome or not, feeling something towards another man is way different thing i think it may be intimacy issue, let me tell you from my example: my story is: with a girl i was with, it was all about just busting a nut and sex was really rough and mechanical, there were 0 emotions involved, i didn't love her at all, that's why read some stuff about "lover archetype of masculinity", it may be "damaged" for number of reasons good luck, have fun and a lot of great sex again

@Conscious life Depends on your belief system, that's all. You can have fucked up belief system and be proud of being a massive murderer. So - whatever you think virginity is, it will be that for you. You create your own reality.

@assx95 As a man you have to work on yourself first, to make girls chase you. If you want someone to chase you, you have to start running. Simple as that. Think about that like that - women wants the best for you. If asking you to change doesn't work - she will leave you to make you make changes in your life and work on yourself, so you can be happy by yourself. If that doesn't work too - she will find some guy to make you jealous of. I know how it sounds, but trust me, that's how Universe's and women's fucked up, brutal kind of love works. And it fucking works miracles.

@GafaRassaDaba is it maybe after you became more self-sufficient and more authentic, you care less about people that do not genuinely like you and that's why it's less of them? about new ones - there are not that many people interested in spirituality and deep stuff like that, so don't worry, they'll eventually come into your life

So, i have a relation with this girl, that I really like (even more than that, I got feeling towards her) and she was sleeping at my place one day. I thought that something can happen, but I wasn't determined for anything. We were talking and she asked some question about monogamy and I've answered "yes", which happened to be a test from her part. After I "passed that test", I felt strong, passionate, predatory, sexual energy from her and she gave me that kind of look: It was too strong for me to handle, I panicked and went to a bathroom. I looked myself in a mirror and decided I will not do anything about it, my trauma was too strong and i chickened out. We met again after that and when we were talking, I felt the same kind of look from her couple of times. It's so fucking strong energy I don't know how to handle it. I know it's some kind of "shadow" issue, and I think I have to "fight my own Scar" to go pass throught it, but I have no idea what it really is and how to do it. It may be some sex-related trauma (when i was 5 i woke up and my parents were having sex next to me and i thought my father is hurting my mother), but I had sex a lot of times already and I'm not sure why this time this is something "too much for me", maybe because I'm really into this girl and it's not some average girl, but a girl I can really build future with. Did any of you experienced something similar? How did you go pass through it?

@Nahm I'm getting what you were trying to tell me. Like someone said "It's not mountain that you are trying to conquer, it's yourself". I'm finally getting into a stage of my journey, where I'm getting freedom. And freedom is a state of mind. Right now there's a lot of emotions, crying and purging happening. Thank you.

@LaucherJunge meditative, third person perspective state is a key easy to say, but you can train that - just start to ignore emotions that you don't like to experience and follow the ones you do like and consciously decide that you want to go after and experience these if you feel like getting hurt - just take a break, don't tell her that, it's a sign that you are pushing too much, your emotions are like a feedback mechanism from Universe, you should always follow love, bliss and joy give yourself some time with getting more into "feeling" what to do and going with the flow, push-pull energy dynamic in relationship and after some time and training you will perfect your game and it will just become natural to you