28 cm unbuffed

@Nahm I am way too dumb to get you guys. My answer is : the simplest way possible, please ??

Right now I'm reading this one book about money and there was a concept about what does it really mean to be "lucky". My aunt bought a new necklace for herself, which is a golden elephant, which is a symbol of luck. There is a guy in a place that I work that wears "The lucky one" shirt like every fucking day. I met with my cousin today, her tattoo is a clock with 13 under it. When I asked her about it, she told me: "didn't you know that? I was born in Friday the 13th". Too much fucking coincidences. Trying every opportunity that life is giving us - that is working for our luck to increase our chances, that's how we can increase our luck. Trusting the Universe, do not force anything and going with a flow, that's another way. Being a good human, giving others positive energy so it will go back to us, that's something too. Doing everything that we can to be the best versions of ourselves, while being honest with ourselves. These are the ways in which I understand, we can create our own luck. Is there anything else to this concept? Is it something more than what we were taught? What do you guys think and how do you understand it? What luck really is?

@Meta-Man Shit, I wanted to post it in Self-Actualization sub-forum, got that, but it's even better. Your view and what you are saying is very interesting as well. At the same time, I don't get it at all, you are talking like some Taoist master and perhaps I am too dumb to get it. For example: Can you elaborate on that?

@Meta-Man I know this story. It's about always having a positive attitude and do not assume anything, I get it. Or maybe I don't at all, maybe I am approaching it in a way too simplistic way, correct me if I'm wrong here. I don't get this one. It doesn't make sense, I mean, according to this theory, why even work and do self-development when it will be as you said: "equalized eventually"? That's fucking depressing lol

I was trying to help a friend of mine for the longest time now, way too long. I understand his problem fully (to an extent, that I can understand that as a separate human being), I did everything that I could to help him, told him what his problem is and where it comes from (trauma stuff, that I had too, really similar case). Although all of that, he still doesn't give a fuck and does nothing to change his life. Yet me and friend of mine are still trying to help him. It robs us from our lifes. I know it's my decision to just cut him off, stop talking to him, etc, don't get me wrong - I did everything of that already, but it didn't help, because somehow, I always managed to trick myself into getting back in contact with him and I want to break this fucking loop once and forever.

@Stretch That's a part of a journey I guess, I assume that because this is the exact same feeling and situation in my life that you are describing. How do you want to know your purpose, when you are driven by your friends' needs and their expectations? How do you know what you really want when you think you want the things that you already have because they make you feel safe? If you want to fill the cup it first has to become empty, right? FREEDOM: "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." ~Tyler Durden About Leo - notice, that he was a developer for fucking Bethesda and made a million dollars before starting his YouTube channel. He is really serious and honest about his work. Only after going on a journey and discovering these things by yourself, you can really appreciate that. He speaks from experience, not from dogma and reading the books, you can't just stand there and speak for 2 hours about something, because you read about it and it seems interesting, it doesn't work like that. Your knowledge has to be real, unfuckwithable. At least, that's how I understand that, after putting lots of work and struggle into my own life.

@Dwarniel I've heard that red hair women are really, really into sex, so maybe there's really something in it.

I am in the so-called "limbo phase" in my life. I'm torn between two worlds inside me. One of them - self-development, spirituality, becoming enlightened, and helping people. The second one, my shadow - becoming a rapper, looking great, having tons of money, and having sex with beautiful girls. I have no idea how I can connect these. Artistic and creative side and wise, practical, analytical side of me. Left and right hemisphere of brain. How to go about this stage of life, how to stay relaxed, let go, let it all grow by itself in my head, yet - get clear goals about my future and what the fuck do I want from my life. The struggle is real.

@Zanoni I'm in a moment in my life, where I have to cut the past and I think all of what is happening is just a fear in a nutshell. I fear to lose my old identity, my old self, my old friends. It's fucked up because my old self was a piece of shit. Why would I care about letting that one go and become the new, better me? Preposterous.

@karltiboleng I think it's something that ego is playing with me - if I will think about others and use my mind to fix others' problems, I will not have to concentrate on my life and my own problems. I figured that out some time ago, yet, I still have these thoughts. I meditate on them, maybe I should focus more on when they occur and what they are blocking from my experience from me to see, correct?

@zeroISinfinity huh? @Serotoninluv yeah, is it a false sense of responsibility for others or something like that? @karltiboleng I get that, conceptually, but I have no idea what I can do about it in practice

@universe Yes, I see him more as "some part of me that is still in my consciousness and needs healing", more than a friend and fellow human being. He is a representation of my old, lazy, crybaby self. The project is to get rid of this from me.

@meow_meow What do you mean by that? Was it literally what you meant or it had some kind of metaphysical woo-woo meaning? (we are all one, there is no separation etc.)

@LfcCharlie4 @flowboy Yeah, I'm on a challenge (detox) right now too. Yoga in the morning, combined with the methods mentioned by Charlie helps a lot.

What would you guys suggest then? Theanine is also a form of caffeine, from what I know. I really enjoy drinking something while working, that would make me more focused and just can't seem to find anything that can achieve that goal without making me stressed out as caffeine does.

I am not really afraid of that. It would be just a sad, lonely, unjoyful existence. Why the fuck I just wrote that? ^

I started my self-development journey 3 years ago when I was 26. Classic situation - mother yells at her useless son, he is getting all puffy and he leaves his house, his eyes are full of tears. He does not know what to do next. The first thing that seems right - let's find a job and leave the mother's basement to start living on my own. Checked. I am a programmist, living in a big city on my own. Next step - look for a purpose. I started to ask people about it and I find self-development. Tim Ferris, Leo Gura, you name it. I'm hooked, like a drug addict. I can read this shit 24/7. I am addicted to this shit. LIke has meaning again, let's fucking go. Hearing Leo saying "only 1% of people will finish my Life Purpose course" only gives me more motivation. I am acing this shit. I have a vision board, I am doing affirmations, visualizations, and all of that shit every day. I'm the king of life. Psychedelics, meditation, exercising, diet, reading, I am doing all of it. Here comes this girl out of nowhere. The fucking goddess. She likes me, but I have no idea what to do with girls, I am a fucking n00b. I learn really quick tho, But she becomes my new addiction now and it's not that good, as I will soon find out. After a year doing self-development work, ups and downs, chasing this bitch I find out that she is a whore. Literally. I was chasing a fucking whore. I find out that people that I was surrounding myself with are full of shit too. They say one thing and do the other. They are wasting their lives, yet, they are the smartest people on Earth, telling you, that you are fucked up, deluded and who do you think you are. I changed city, found a piece, my aunt is here and she is a first person after years of being surrounded by narcissists that really gets me and has empathy for me. She has nothing to prove, nothing to get from me, she is not a prideful, lying, manipulative piece of shit. She is full of love and will to help. I can see my value again, I am an independent man, I am a free person, I don't need anyone to make me happy, yet, something is not right. The life purpose course that I did was to become a self-development guru, like Leo or RSD guys. I love reading this shit, learning it, practicing it. I don't see myself as a teacher tho, I don't really give a fuck about making a world a better place, I suck at explaining things. This "purpose" was something that my mother wanted me to be, a teacher. Breaking bound with this bitch girl (representation of my arrogant, prideful, stupid mother, hello Freud), made me realise all of that. I am in this weird stage of my life, where I feel like just travelling the world, partying with girls, having fun and enjoying myself. I want to create financial freedom for myself that will let me achieve all of this. But once again - none of this has fucking meaning. I will get bored. It's like chasing phantoms, why even bother, fuck all of this pain, suffering, the fucking journey. I would just kill myself if I had enough courage. Life is meaningless (yeah, I know, it's a good thing, because you can find meaning on your own, blah blah blah..). I will get bored of it too. Enlightenment is the shit and will make me happy forever? COOL, that's true, for sure, I will get happy about having to work like a shithead for nothing, it has to be true, let me follow that. Fuck that shit, God is like a fucking sadist who likes to watch all of this soap opera called life eating popcorn and having fun of us shitheads, people. What a loving fucking piece of shit he is. Who are we kidding here? Prove me wrong with all of this. There will be someone in a second telling me "it's a journey that will make you happy, experiences, the lessons". Cool. But what is the lesson from a point where I am right now and I've been here like 1000 times already? That in the end it doesn't fucking matter ~Chester, Linking Park. Because you will end up in the exact same place, every time. Why fucking bother? A hamster wheel we call life.

@fridjonk Damn, that was a tricky one. How do I know when "I'm there" already? I mean - it all sounds great, but I'm 29 already and I really would love to start getting serious about my life, finding a girlfriend, etc. Who knows when I will reach a point when I will fully love myself, I just don't want to die lonely lol. I already spent 3+ years single, to get to a point, when I will finally love myself fully, to give myself permission to get a girlfriend, and when I thought that I'm there already, you are saying to me: "It's a trap dude". Come on...

Extremes are never a good thing, I learned that in my life already. I heard that L-theanine- caffeine combo is one of the best things you can start your days with. On the other hand, it doesn't make sense, when caffeine is a bad thing on its own. In the end, we will find out, that we do not anything to survive really, just sun energy and breatharians are geniuses.

What do you think about something like that? https://www.amazon.co.uk/L-Theanine-Attention-Rise-Supplements-Productivity/dp/B075QKFN67 Is caffeine just a bad thing and should be avoided at all cost, just remove it from your life, period?

@fridjonk You're saying that wanting to love someone and someone to love you back is actually not the way? I don't get that, I want to give my love to someone, why is that a bad thing?

@Member Yeah, the journey is the ultimate purpose.

@flowboy It's all happening right now. I started to believe in people when I moved to another city and started to hang out with my aunt here. I tested her a lot of times, but right now, I trust her and I love her and her family. It's more about - when you are able to trust yourself, you start trusting the others, like attracts like and you are able to recognize that in others. You know how someone full of shit and lies acts when you will start to see that in yourself. About the mother's issue - I misunderstood love as suffering my whole life. That's why I suffered - because that was normal. I punished myself for everything "bad" because that's how I was raised and that was the only way that I could get any results, right? Love is also suffering, so I have to suffer for girls and become a fucking doormat, right? Imagine how my life looked like with these beliefs. Not seeing sense in all of this doesn't seem so fucked up now? All I wanted my whole life and the only thing that will give my life meaning again is love. I want someone who I will love and who will love me back. Someone that I can live for. Not just myself, not to prove myself, not to become a better self. I did all of that shit, I proved myself a lot already, I reached awakening in 3 years of work, not bad, huh? All I need is love ~John fucking Lennon uhhhh

Hey guys. I know this can be answered in 100 ways - it can come from false beliefs, low self-esteem, worldview, fear of this or that, you name it. But my question is more about the fear of success on its own. How does this one work as a separate unit? What is a fear of success connected to, where does it come from, what is it pointing to? I wiped out all of the "bad" stuff from my life, I've done a lot of shadow work, etc. Yet still, I can feel that I am sabotaging myself and it all somehow points in the same direction. What I mean is, I can work on different areas to fix it, but I think the smartest solution is to find a core issue and I think they all stem from a fear of success, I might be wrong, but that's where my intuition is guiding me. What do you guys think, have any of you had the same problem? Thank you for your answers!

@StarStruck Feel free to ask me, if you'll need any more information on that topic. My overall experience was that I started observing the world outside-in instead of inside-out and it stayed like that (with small backlashes when I get involved in mind chatter).