Preety_India

@Thestarguitarist14 maybe it's my childhood where I was constantly judged by a parental figure that made me feel like judging someone for their weakness is a monstrous thing. So when I see a weak man, I don't judge him. My perspective is a little different from what Leo preaches about sexual value. You also have to take into account that I don't come from a PUA oriented culture. The first time I heard the word pickup was on this forum. Before that I didn't know that such a word or thing like game existed.. In my culture there is nothing like sexual value. Most people just date randomly, whoever they fall in love with. If they fall in love, they are not going to think about money, status or looks. So the whole pickup culture and gaming and sexual value is very alien to me. In my culture if a guy is weak, he is not discouraged from dating. I have seen couples where the woman is very fat and the guy is very handsome and they live happily. I think the culture where I come from, the dating is not so toxic or super competitive, all that the person is looking for is a understanding partner to have a deep connection with. So whenever I met the men in my past, I always looked for a deeper connection, so there was never a thought in my mind about testing a guy. It's similar to the thinking of the guy here named @vizual.. My thoughts are like him. Just find a person who you resonate with and that's it. There is no testing. I'm not saying that testing is wrong. But you need to understand multiple perspectives when it comes to dating. From those perspectives those actions won't look illogical. Like if you wore my perspective, you won't find "not testing a man" illogical Dating is not the same way in every country and the perspectives around dating and love widely differ from country to country. We don't even have the word incel in our country. In fact I learned this word for the first time only on this forum.. I dont think dating has to be so complicated as it is in western countries.. If it was so complicated in our country, our population would have been reduced by half. But I'm trying to learn different perspectives. It's just that a person like me from an Asian culture is going to feel very shocked looking at western dating patterns and styles. In my culture, we mostly look for connection, other things don't matter much. We don't use words like high quality men, low quality men, high quality women and low quality women.. This shit is too alien.

@Leo Gura but I don't test men.

Am the only woman who is not very picky? I don't think too much about what a man is doing in terms of survival. I try to invest more into true love. Not sure if this a right approach. But I always feel like a deep connection is always my top priority, and once I feel that, I forget all the money, status, survival part. I don't test men much. It's just my thing. I always felt like love has a universal language and survival should come later. That through love we can make everything possible. But maybe because I don't test men rigorously I also tend to attract men who are more than likely not going to pass the test.. It's hard to want true love and also raise barriers around me, I kinda feel that I'm rejecting a man who would have probably loved me more than anyone. So it's tricky for me to be picky. Because I also feel like I'm not giving the guy a chance to prove his love for me Confusing. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.

Maybe it will take 10 more days to feel alright.

Just give yourself enough space alright?? It will be okay.

@Roy I feel like crying is a call of help from my own body.

@Forestluv He is spreading the infection. I can't believe it.

Wait till you get 18 Till then work in a shop.

Is there anything about him that's not lacking?

Yea. A blue person who actually doesn't believe in green deep down but rallies along with Green agenda to get brownie points from society. It's fake activism that a lot of celebrities do just for extra points on the resume, not necessarily because they truly care about the green issues or activism. In real life, they could very well be a strong blue, or a toxic Orange who is only trying to be deceptive to help their business or reputation.

Don't beat yourself. Such situations happen. These are learning lessons on the way. Feel sorry that you got scammed by the person. I went through plenty of situations where I felt scammed by numerous people. Now I don't trust people that much anymore. Try to be more vigilant in the future about yourself and your surroundings. Don't get lost in thought. Be more in the present. The best word is "vigilance." We get lost too much that we lose self awareness. If you remind yourself to be alert, your body will do that for you. Next time call the police. Be sure to hold the person accountable.. Note down the person's name and collect evidence. Don't be too polite to strangers in such situations. Because they most likely won't care They are trying to cover their ass. Politeness is a form of civility but It presents challenges when the other person does not honor their part of the deal. I had several experiences where I was extremely polite but the other person was constantly taking advantage of my politeness. This used to happen at stores where if I paid in cash, I wasn't given the balance cash in return. I had to be strict and me more mean to get my stuff back. So politeness is to be used to people who are polite back to you. Not to people who don't value your issues. It's Frustrating and you don't want to be all pumped up especially in a stressful situation But that's where you need the pump up to be defensive. Sadly we live in a society where being kind is nice but not useful and we need to be pragmatic in our dealings with others. Also value and respect yourself before you respect others. This should be done on the spot.. If you are an empathy driven person like me, you are more likely to think of the other person rather than yourself. This can easily stack the odds Against you. So you pull all the value to yourself so others don't get manipulate you. You tell them sternly and confidently without feeling guilty or whatever, and show them that you first care about yourself, politeness aside. That way you send them a strong message that you aren't putting up with their manipulation and gritting and that they need to play by the rules or you take action. Hope everything goes fine. @Roy I appreciate your answer.

@Nahm @mandyjw @Toby Thank you for your kindness.

Just trying to be numb That's all.

This is a journal for self growth and for self love. Self love has always been difficult for me.

Yea rape is a huge fear in a woman's mind. I can't remember how many times I haven't wanted to date men only out of that single fear.. It's not like all men are rapists.. But If I randomly decided to approach 10 men or even said yes to them, I will always carry the fear that at least one of them will turn out to be a total creep Safety is a huge challenge.

@neutralempty Um. Okay Let me rephrase the question. How should we integrate all stages of Spiral Dynamics in our lives in a healthy way to fulfill our needs? Like what needs will each stage fulfill in a healthy way.

@neutralempty me too. I don't know how to word it. But it's okay. I mean to enlist different needs from all stages that are useful in life. Hope that clears.

I am a very feminine woman. Yet I understand a man. I understand their problems. I totally agree with you. A woman doesn't always have to be masculine to understand a man. It's the inner willingness to understand that's all.. No man has ever called me masculine. But I have been thoroughly understanding of men. Just a perspective

@neutralempty I wanted unique individual input from users on here. Unique things they think about each stage they wish to integrate in life. But thanks for the share.

Biologically and evolution-wise being good actually works in the favor of humanity. Less destruction. But it's a choice which is a good choice. nevertheless a Choice. Now even if it wasn't biologically important, it is still spiritually important, as you transcend spiritually, you feel the yearning to do good in the world. This does not mean that not engaging it is bad per se. It is definitely not useless but in your life it could be either important or redundant. For example an environment saving project. I might want to donate to it. Donating to it is definitely not useless because it will help the cause. But it could be either important or worthwhile to me or redundant.. I might want to do it out of personal passion or think it's a waste of my money. I can swing the pendulum either way. What I mean here is that, in the absolute sense it's definitely useful and worthwhile. But in a personal sense, it's totally relative, it's not my liability, I can place great significance on it or not think about it at all We don't do good in the world because of a "why to do it" but because we know that good will lead to some benefit to either someone or everyone. In the same breath you could ask "why shouldn't I just destroy this world, what's the purpose to allow it?" There is no answer to this question. See the dilemma? The only possible answer is "good faith." We do things out of good faith. Now to engage in good faith or not to engage in good faith is a matter of personal choice. We do some things for our survival. But out of good faith we do other things that don't add much to our survival in the present moment But we still do it out of good faith. You give a cookie to your friend out of good faith, even though it adds nothing to your survival

@Truthwillwin I think this is my theory on conspiracy theories. To be wiser. As long as there is no hard evidence building up on anything you watch, don't pay much attention to it or give your energy to it. But if more evidence builds up in the future, then start paying attention. Until then, blissful ignorance is better for your soul than all that negative crap Am I right?

@SamC thank you Sam and you too.

@vizual That's actually up to you. Maybe try to forget it. If the actions of a person are good, then any label is an act of the Ego. Dissolve this Egoic need or attachment to have everything perfect as per social standards is like playing into the labels created by society and not being able to be open minded enough to see there is a real person behind these labels. If the label applies to them in a fair manner, so it is not bad, because you're just calling a spade a spade and your deductive judgment will be understandable. But when a label no longer holds any water, then simply using it to create cognitive dissonance is a way of distancing from the person for no legitimate cause. The distance has been created in the mind due to cognitive conflict but the real question is Is the person deserving of such a distance? If in the present moment they haven't done anything to warrant such a distance, then this distance in reality is based on falsehood.. Remove the cognitive dissonance and this distance is gone. You see the partner for who they are and not from the lens of the cognitive dissonance of the labels created by society. You can get cognitive dissonance in your mind from time to time as it happens with many men. They lose wonderful partners owing to such cognitive dissonance They unnecessarily cast suspicions on their wives and its not the actions of the wives but their own cognitive dissonance that becomes a nail in the coffin for the relationship. Now one way to trick this thought is to ask Is she really doing what I'm thinking? And if the answer is no, then simply abandon such negative thoughts and never let them destroy or judge the sweetness of the relationship

I'm not an American, so I don't know much. But I think the republican party gets a lead in the elections because of some mess up in the electoral college and the gerrymandering.. The Dems don't get the benefit. I don't know the intricacies of this. But so far this is what I gathered. I'm still in the initial stages of learning politics. The popular vote should count imo. I don't know how this process actually works. To me it seems there is some loophole somewhere even if the elections are democratic