Preety_India

@Akemrelax Lmao, I know Martin since a long time. He is a he. 100% Smh

That's his outrage because of his emotional abuse His content has deep meaning. Maybe the tone was not right. But I won't blame him. I can understand his frustration. I tried to place myself in his shoes. And I can see how he feels. Yes he makes mistakes. But underneath those mistakes he is braver than 98% people I've met. That's a great quality indeed.

That's actually more stage Orange to be honest. It's they who are more interested in politics.

@Someone here you misunderstood me. I was talking about his childhood abuse that he went through. It wasn't about you.

@Martin123 I feel sorry that you're leaving the forum. You made a lot of genuine points. You have absolute courage. But I understand. You have a great heart and you are braver than most people. I'm sorry you had to face abuse. I give you hugs of love and care. You had a huge impact on me in a very short Span of time of being here. I hope your life journey always goes well. Wish you the best Martin

@Someone here maybe he is not able to express himself properly. But he definitely has a few points that are very very true. Look past his so called arrogance or any words that sound offensive and you'll see that he is making genuine points.

And the Right will find a way to gloss over it.

This is not the average man's spirituality. This is the millionaire's spirituality. There are double standards.

What about the horrible abuse that mod Miss Ananta faced on the forum I saw many disgruntled forum members who started complaining about her and using very aggressive language against her. Is that okay? Now she doesn't want to be a mod anymore. There was a member who went all over the forum calling her horrible abusive names. Mod duty is not at all easy, especially as a female on the forum.. People take quick shots at the mod. But nobody tries to be in her shoes and understand how she felt when attacked. If she is a mod, it's obviously her job to give warnings to anyone who is being excessively hostile or abusive. Why are some members retaliating this. Do you want this place to be more hostile.. If you cannot even have an average amount of Decency how to talk to a person, without being aggressive and abusive and judgmental, maybe you're not here to become a more conscious person.

Vulnerable people don't need judgement. They need kindness, support, validation of their pain and healing Of course they can be pushed to betterment by telling them to take personal responsibility. But think. They are not really in the state of taking personal responsibility. Or else they would have. We need each other as much as we may act like we are independent. . This needs to be considered. Telling a person to take personal responsibility is very easy. But that should not be the only way to help someone. Adding kindness is also needed. Isn't growing empathy the main part of being spiritual?

@SirVladimir you can see the post above. Also the point I was trying to make was that vulnerable people cannot be on this forum. Because they have a totally different threshold for sensitivity and trigger.. For which they shouldn't be blamed or expected to compromise because it's not their fault that they were abused. Their abuse has made them sensitive to judgment, what they need is support and kindness and caring .but if they come here, judgement is all they get. They are made to look like there is something lacking in them when the reality is that they need someone to make them feel better. This is important to their recovery. And judging them will only make their situation worse.. Yet this is not something that I need to say. This is so obvious and I thought that a forum with so spiritual people (half of them are new agey spiritual psycho-babble saintly acting projecting toxic positivity people who love to take pride in making spiritual platitudes in how saintly and great they are and yet their advice is not all pragamtic and not helpful in the least) This has nothing to do with the dating section however

Abuse is such a thing that it doesn't necessarily have to be intentional. It depends a lot on the psych profile of an individual. Someone with narcissistic traits can abuse others without intent or without any realization that they're abusing others.. I have seen a lot of people project on others. Someone who is genuinely seeking help is called victim playing. I feel like the forum is a good place for normal average self help seekers who are the stage orange type looking to excel in life through discussions. Yet it is not a very good place for someone who is at low point in life and needs some real kind words and support. This forum can be very dangerous for those people. Now they are also looking for self help but coming here totally naked and vulnerable can be very risky. They might be of the naive opinion that this forum has a spirituality section so there must be loving kind empathetic spiritual people on here. But that's not the case. When such a vulnerable person opens up about their psychological state and issues, they can be called liars or they could be gaslighted, victim shamed and victim blamed instead of being given support and kindness. They could be projected on. A very good case in point. Go to the Emotional Section and see the abuse of User Mikael89.. And you'll know what I mean He was being called a liar and many people taking shots at him and calling him a victim player. Not showing him a drop of empathy. Maybe he is going through a tough time after his breakup. Maybe he is not lying. He even said that he was suicidal. That actually shows how vulnerable he is. . In that state forum members should have been empathetic to him. But they gaslighted him making him the source of his own problems. That's one example of abuse of vulnerable persons. There are many examples. There is always a problem of projection and mild gaslighting on the forum that nobody addresses.

A self help forum should not have even mild abuse going on. There's no excuse even for the one offs.

This forum is made for people to seek help. Not for judging people who seek help

Nobody goes looking for abuse. What shitty logic.

I also feel like every time I stood up against the abuse on the forum, I was gaslighted and projected on very badly. That used to make me very nervous.

There is an element of abuse on this forum that I have always sensed It feels weird.

@Martin123 there should be no place for hostility on the forum. After all this is a spirituality forum right?

What?

If you are having boyfriend and it's your first time, bring it up and ask him directly. I asked my bf directly and he said no. He was also very clear to me about his past dating history. I think most men are going to be honest. Still, I understand how tricky this can be.

How has pick up made it worse for you? I didn't get this statement.

Cabin in the woods is way better than motels. A user here named Jessi Chell did in the mountains

What are you saying lol? It flew over my head.

The problem that I have detected with myself is that I'm not mindful enough and not vigilant enough. And that's what I need to do.

electroBeam Lol literally thestarguitarist14 gave you the holy grail of an answer that you need. And that answer was the only answer that was ignored in this thread. That answer was far more effective then the rest, because its the foundation thats needed for the rest to flourish. To learn seduction, you first need to feel the right energy of seduction, so that you can sync and really feel the seduction content and learn it and embody it. Everything will just fall into place if you do that EFT tapping 4 or 5 times a day. The real problem here, isn't that you're not getting women, its that you feel bad and desperate by the fact that you can't get women. You've got low self esteem and the suffering is coming from there. I bet you if there were 2 scenarios, where magically tomorrow you got heaps of women but still had all your self esteem issues, and scenario 2 where you were put on an island somewhere with no women, yet all of your self esteem issues were gone and you felt vibrant, great, blissful, estatic about yourself and your body, but no women, you'd pick scenario 2. And to solve that problem, go and EFT tap for gods sake. Your suffering has nothing to do with women. What you want has nothing to do with women. You're confused. You don't know what you want. You don't want women, you want to change the way you look at yourself bro. You hate the way you are right now bro. You want to change the way you look at yourself bro. Placing so much emphasis on women is just diluting and confusing the problem bro. Go tackle the real problem. Then women will naturally come after that. Its amazing how we act like we need a lot of help and our lives are so hard, yet when the perfect answer comes, we aren't willing to take on that advice, we just ignore it. Edited 33 minutes ago by electroBeam @electroBeam how does eft help with seduction? electroBeam @Preety_India in school, there are 2 types of kids, the ones who memorise the maths formulas and dates of figures in their history class. The others were the ones who were genuinely passionate about their classes, and were genuinely curious about how the maths formulas worked, or what it was really like to be that figure in history, and why the date was so significant. Yeah the memorisers managed to get good grades eventually through all that discipline. But heck they had a shit time. And studied a hell of a lot of hours. Meanwhile the passionate ones didn't even know they were studying. And the memorisers got a good enough job to survive, but every day they had to battle a slew of motivation issues, they had common sense issues because their level of depth of subjects is just memory, not a deep understanding. Meanwhile the passionate ones(had other issues) but always were motivated to learn more, and had a great time at work. And had great common sense and knew their subject with conviction. The poster doesn't feel good about learning pickup techniques. It doesn't gel with his personality type. It feels forced. He's just like the memorisers at school, not feeling right in their body, but doing it anyway. That's not really the right angle to go about pickup. You should really feel aligned with it, it should feel natural to you. You need to feel morally ok with it, you need to feel physically ok with it. You need to feel like its right. Just doing pickup to get girls without it feeling right is a quick way to end up in disaster. And yeah like the memorisers you'll get somewhere, but it will be a horrible road to getting there, and you wont get the fulfillment or results you truly want. And so to make those techniques resonate with you, align with your morality, sense of self, who you want to be, you first need to start with the foundation which is how you feel. You need to feel in your bones that seduction energy. You need to feel in your bones that you're attractive. The feeling of the word 'attraction' needs to spark you. Before the talk, posture, body movements, eye contact, etc. You need to feel it first. Then once you feel it, you can then allow that feeling to manifest into the specific techniques. You'll go through pickup courses feeling and deeply knowing the technique, putting your own spin on it, because you're not memorising it, you're deeply feeling it. And once you feel it, for the first week you'll be so happy that you wont be desperate for women and probably will just chill because for the first time you've just realized that happiness comes from within. The poster wrote that pickup techniques doesn't gel with his personality. That's not true. He doesn't feel attractive or seductive in his bones, and that's why the pickup techniques aren't aligning with his mind and body. Its like when a 'realist' or pessimist says that they just can't be positive because its not 'them'. Yeah take some shrooms, feel positive, and then we'll see if its still who you are. And that's the poster's problem. He doesn't feel the right shit. If he did he would learn pickup without issue. His problem is with learning pickup. He doesn't want to. That's why he doesn't want to, because he aint feeling right. And that EFT Tapping is the perfect way to start feeling. EFT tapping is an amazing resource for feeling and energy release. For me its more powerful then kriya yoga. And wow there's one for attraction, epic!