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Everything posted by Preety_India

  1. My eyes filled with tears of blood. I cry for those I cannot be with.
  2. V doesn't understand my emotions. I have deep emotions and feelings for him. V, I know that you have a lot of animosity against me. But I love you. Despite all the hurt and pain, I love you You don't give me a safe space where I can express my love for you All that you give me is rotten spaces to comply with.
  3. My eyes filled with tears of blood. My eyes filled with tears of joy My eyes filled with tears of love Keeps waiting for you, for your love to return.. For your forgiveness. Forgive me. I love you still and I will love you forever.
  4. My womanhood is looking for those 3 things Intimacy, alignment, polarity. My womanhood is desperate to merge with Masculinity. My womanhood cannot sustain on its own for too long. I feel this way. I need V in my life. I need P in my life I need S in my life Plus I'm a codependent. I need to be in the "follower" role. I cannot lead a man. He has to lead me. He has to have the leader role - domination and protection.
  5. Sexual energy and alignment......... .Intimacy. Emotional connection and flow...... Alignment Domination, care and protection...... Polarity Api
  6. V should stand for vindictive.
  7. Well I belong to V. Hmm. Wait he is my husband I kinda like him. But he is too dominating.
  8. Your hands don't have any strength. Lmfao. I'm a tough baby.. Try to bend my wrist. And it won't bend. My wrist is tiny. But I'm a tough baby. You can't even bend my wrist haha. (secretly observes his hands to see if they are really strong)
  9. I'm laughing so hard right now.. Hahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahaha Hahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
  10. I love you. You stole my heart. You took my breath away. You're in my heart forever and I'm slave to your love.. I worship you. I love you deeply. I can't live without you. You are my love, you are my soul. You have my heart. I promised myself that you're the man I will love forever and only you and none other. I won't love any other man except you. The day you told me - "give yourself to me," I gave myself to you and never looked back ever since. I can die for you. I swear I will give up my life for you. I have surrendered my heart and my life to you. Whether you love me or not, it's not relevant anymore. Whether you hate me or not, it doesn't matter anymore Whether you like someone else or not , it won't piss me off anymore Whether you give your love to me or not, I will still love you just the same. I want nothing from you. No commitment nothing. I don't even want sex. I just want to keep loving you and worshipping you. What you do of me is up to you. I won't be hurt no matter what you do. If you feel like you wanna kill me, then here I am, I surrender my body and my willpower to you.. Do as you wish I have fallen in love with you and you have found the way to my heart. .... This is what I wanted all my life. It's you. Only you. I love you. ..... You know what I like the most on your body. That place. That place on your neck. Right in the center, a bit lower. Yes yes yes, right there. Right near your throat but just below it, where it's a bit shallow. That central place. Right there... Hehe I was looking up for the scientific name for this place. It's called the Jugular notch or the Suprasternal notch. I want to place a knife right there and cut the Jugular. I'm joking. I want to touch there and feel all of my love flowing through it. Keep touching there and you'll feel my love. Hehe. My love flows through that place into your body.
  11. V is a total psycho. His eyes are psycho stalker eyes. Sadistic eyes. He is sadistic He is psychopath. He plays mind games He is sociopath. He takes pain in pleasure. He is deeply insecure and has a Jekyll Hyde personality He is a stalker. He is obsessed with me He is predatory and rapey He is pure schizophrenic bipolar depressed sadistic psycho He is machiavellian, cold, psychopath and manipulative. He is egotistical and stubborn and adamant He is Bossy and narcissistic but maintains a sweet facade.
  12. Last night I saw V in my dream. Someone told him that he has a great record. I was laughing. Like what? V is so manipulative. Yea V is my husband unfortunately. Let me tell some of the great things about V.
  13. I love P. I love V. I love S I must be crazy. I must be a fool. I connect with P emotionally. V must be my husband. S is sensual and aloof. I think I'm looking for aspects that I want in a dream partner in all these men.
  14. My autism is generally bad on these days. Feeling spaced out and blank. So I was thinking about the models for development. Like The Chakra system Maslow's Heirarchy And Spiral Dynamics Can you help me with some more?
  15. I don't know but this song popped up when I thought about my imaginary conversations with my stalker.
  16. When I saw him in a distance, I knew it was him.
  17. How to deal with the stress of conflict? Conflicts stress me out very much.
  18. @RickyFitts good share
  19. So I have P and S and V. P is so emotional. S is sensual and V is a bit psycho stalkerish. V is a pure gold. V is protective and gentle with me and sometimes rough and punishing. V for victory? S is my fix. Whereas P is someone I share emotional intimacy with.. V demands a lot out of me. Very demanding of my attention.. Follows me around. V is a Virgo too. S is a scorpio. Two Virgo and 1 scorpio..
  20. Scene cuts to..... Zane meets me in the cafeteria. Scene cuts to...... We're standing behind a bunch of rocks. Zane gifts me a necklace, a beautiful necklace. A black Grey necklace. Scene cuts to...... Zane inviting me to his parties. Scene cuts to...... Zane confesses his love for me. I accept him. Scene cuts to...... I check through my drawers and see letters from an old stalker. These letters are always signed by the number 9. Number 9 is significant. Scene cuts to......
  21. Zane and I had imaginary conversations. Zane is controlling. Reminds me of my second boyfriend Bud.
  22. Yea Zane.
  23. Reviving an old journal I wrote in 2021.
  24. And the next one is S.