Preety_India

Breitbart is political enema. (you know at one point in 2016, I wrote in my diary - Milo Yiannopoulos is my hero. That's how much brain washing Breitbart can do. Today I feel ashamed of that diary entry. I used to tell people in 2016 that they should vote for Trump. I even donated a dollar to his campaign back in 2016. And look today, I made a 180 degree flip, I learned so much from not watching these brainwashing media anymore.. It's so easy to get sucked into all this. Now there was this guy on YouTube {I'm not going to say his name, but he used to brainwash me so bad}).

@electroBeam give me my Oscar you sjw sinner

Not good at acting but trying. Stage Red. Let's see a couple of these. Trump He is our Savior. Homosexuality That's an aberration. Transgender people Something wrong with them. They don't belong Gender is a social construct Only man and woman. Marriage is only between the two. Trump He is our Messiah - in-chief Obama He wouldn't be president in 1930s Global warming Fake news Abortion Lynch the woman who wants it. Gun control We need guns, more guns. Billions and billions. Capitalism Monopoly is good Socialism Socialists ruin everything Racism You are born with your color. It makes you an inferior species. Just deal with it. If you complain you're only playing victim Sex education Women need to produce more kids War We need to dominate the entire globe to show how powerful we are Pickup Don't bother, just grab them by the pussy. Cancel culture What? Round them up, all those stupid SJWs and lynch them God Hold my Bible New Age teachings Gross Relativism The boogeyman Post-modernism Bullshit Jordan Peterson Need to simp this guy harder Sam Harris Simp this guy harder than Peterson Atheism Sky daddy will take care of you. You'll have a deathbed conversion. And many more

Lmfao you got me all wrong. What I meant is Trumpism was so bad that it actually forced the democrats to finally vote historically to vote out rather than to vote in. Shows voting out is much more intense than voting in. At least people turn out to vote out..

Narcissist mind games One game is bait and switch. Narcissists are good at sale. They market themselves as the best guys. I'll be discussing ' narcissist love bombing' later in this journal. So initially a narcissist will do a lot of luring and baiting of the victim. Joseph love bombed me throughout late 2017 when I met him. Initially I wasn't taking him seriously. I even decided to not be with him after which he told him that I'm making a big mistake by giving up on him and that I will never find a man who will love me as much he did. He was constantly guilting me for not accepting him. I relented at last. I wasn't mentally prepared for a relationship at the time because just a few months ago I had broken up with Mr Bud. I hadn't healed from the breakup and Joseph was pressuring me too much. Joseph kept love bombing me very hard in those months and this was the first white man in my life. I had no experience of white men whatsoever before Joseph. I had a fairly positive picture of white men in my mind. I always considered them gracious, kind, mannerly and respectful.. (Today my perspective on men is drastically different. I no longer think that the behavior of a man or men has anything to do with race To think that all white men are great is a fallacy. It doesn't work like that. Abuse can happen anywhere by any men of any race. Race has nothing to do with it. I understand that certain cultures are a little more sexist than others but giving respect to a woman is an individual choice. It depends on how the man was raised in his family and how he developed his worldview of women and ethics.) So I decided to submit to Joseph. Also Joseph was incredibly handsome, tall, charming, sexy and very expressive, confident. Who wouldn't like such a guy? He was giving me exclusive attention. I felt very wanted for the first time in my life. Never been made to feel like that before. He made me feel at ease and very pleasant. I remember talking to him for 6 hours on the phone. I never talked to someone for even 1 hour in my life, so talking to him for 6 hours felt really unreal and amazing. I was falling in love fast and furious. I started dreaming about Joseph. We would meet and everyday felt like heaven. This continued until the first week of January. And then..... The love Bombing suddenly stopped. I remember one day in the middle of January, Joseph suddenly got pissed off, really mad. It felt strange, weird, for a split second I felt like I was talking to a different person. He had anger in his eyes, his words were incredibly mean. I instantly felt weird and awful. This a mind game that narcissists play. It's a bait and switch game. What does this mean? Narcissists first love bomb you into believing that you have hit the jackpot. They go slow, hiding their true selves. As time goes by, they suddenly switch to a very abusive mode They expect that you accept them in this role or mode. They act like it's just a phase and convince you that they are not like that at all. This is just temporary. This is a clever marketing strategy. They allow a few weeks upto a minimum of 3 months where they love bomb you to the point that you begin to trust them implicitly. Once they realize that you're bonded to them, they switch. The bait phase is over. Now they will start abusing you. And they will expect as usual that you should put up with their abuse. It's difficult to understand what's going on because you're completely confused as a victim. The change is very sudden and swift with no time left to ask them questions. Narcissists have a way of shutting down enquiry. They will say statements like "you're asking stupid questions" "don't ask that again" "never ask me like that" "it's my life" "I'm busy. I have no time for your stupid questions." "I don't know and I don't care" They will say and do everything in their power to make you feel ashamed for asking them anything.. Every question is wrong. You will be gaslighted for any protest against their behavior Your expectation as a normal individual will be that this person will sit down with you, give you attention and time, resolve your doubts and concerns, make you feel assured, let you have a good night's sleep, leave you feeling comforted and address your grievances and never repeat behaviors that are hurtful to you. But no...... Narcissists won't do that at all. They will simply stop all discussions, walk out when confronted, give you threats that they will leave the relationship if you keep persisting. Gaslight you for asking even basic questions. Insult you if you are demanding an answer. Ridicule, shame and guilt you. Make it look like your questioning is causing them harm.. One thing that narcissists hate about a victim is intelligence. I used to ask Joseph a lot of questions on his behavior. I was quick and smart. But emotional. Yet I hadn't lost my Brain cells Yet Joseph would always insult my intelligence at every opportunity he would get. His usual answers to any question were "You're insane. " If I asked him about his divorce If I asked him about his drug addiction "You're insane. " If I asked him about why he had a jail record and what was he hiding from me "You're insane. " I began to question my sanity. I felt like I was doing something really wrong. I stopped asking him. I began to guilt myself really hard.

Practice healthy ego with healthy boundaries and standards and don't go overboard with feeding it. Treat your ego like your house pet. Too much adulation will spoil the pet, make it angry, petty and arrogant reckless. Not giving it attention will make it depressed. Feeding its needs will keep it happy and healthy. Not feeding its needs will make it sick and weak. Keeping it humble with boundaries and strict principles will keep it balanced, healthy and disciplined. Neither abuse the ego, nor pamper it. Getting rid of the Ego?? Well you don't wanna really get rid of that house pet, it gives you a sense of security, purpose, warmth and identity.

Without ego, you can't survive.

@Hardkill Trumpism really forced people to come out of their burrows.

@DocWatts it's truly scary and upsetting. It looks like straight out of some apocalyptic movie. I just don't know how to make sense out of this. For an entire year people have been dying from covid starting somewhere in March April and how can people not see that gathering is not a good idea, holiday or no holiday. Like David Pakman says that America needs to worry about another virus the mind virus. For me basic logic or common sense has never felt more important than before. This is what loss of logic does. Logic is so important for survival, both individually and for society. This is what happens when people can't be logical anymore. It's a state of complete chaos.

Energetic signatures We come into this world as energy beings with unique energy signatures. The energetic signature of a substance is its quintessence, its purest distillation. You move from darkness to light.

I'm thinking about energetic signatures and how a person shows them, how to know someone's true energetic signatures and if their energetic signatures change with different people they interact with.

Do you now realize how much importance you gave to the narcissist and how he used that to abuse you. He kept eroding you little by little everyday. Remember narcissists never give, only take. The best is to outrightly ghost and reject them for good.

Narcissists are losers. Thin skinned losers.

Use the analogy of a restaurant and a washing machine. The restaurant or kitchen used for the analogy of ingredients necessary for life. Ingredients for anything. Cooking as an anology for creation or sequence or process And washing clothes or cleaning as an analogy for removing toxicity from your life.

Second thought This was about aesthetic That I need an aesthetic as a complementary support for my structure or system or sequence. So this will be two fold. Having two parts. One is the structure. A conceptual structure. And the items gathered for the structure,for example a chart or a timer. And the second is the aesthetic to go along with the structure. ? Concept / structure ? Items ? Aesthetic

Heavy journals and light journals.

Building chart for progress Building an imaginary empire 3 pots - one pot for goals, second for completions and 3rd for bounty at each traffic light.

Try to focus on better things from now 1 Now the strategy in my life is to completely focus on Integrating Chakra systems and Stage Orange and Stage Green of the Spiral Dynamics Model and use them to guide myself spiritually. 2 Also the other focus is going to be absorbing large amounts of information or precious knowledge and implementing and executing it. 3 And third is going to be focusing on shadow work and intense healing. Be nice and be with Nice. And bringing positive changes and growth in my life.. Finally. Also self love and transcendence and overcoming neediness. Lots of changes and developments on the way

Do you feel loved in life? How do you connect to the Center of your existence, your body and emotions? Do you feel in charge of your life? To grow spiritually we must be willing to continuously reconstruct ourselves, not holding onto what keeps us feeling safe and secure We can use fear and beliefs to empower us or hold us back from growth The mind is both the virus and the remedy, the problem and the solution. Some people just allow the mind to become so toxic through external fixation, it becomes self destruction. Awakening It’s not enough to use a state as sanctuary from the problems that persist... Emotions keeps us in the mind and the mind keeps us in the emotions. Separation is not the actual, so it’s everything that is self deception. Hanging onto fears and beliefs that block us from becoming more vulnerable If you don’t grow within, we repeat experiences until we learn It all comes down to perception We don’t live in a materialistic world, that’s the appearance of things The journey of empowerment is inward