Preety_India

I liked it when he asked me repeatedly if my pussy belonged to him. I was screaming inside yes.

No the goal was to get your affection.

Also sex is needed for reproduction.

I'm shy but I would want it deeper with very few people i crave intimacy.

@Knowledge Hoarder k

I feel like being with a man is very empowering to me. Just him holding my hand can do wonders. I feel delicate around a man.. I can feel his sexual energy making its way through through his penis/dick into my pussy and then traveling through my body and residing there.. It is his sexual energy specifically, not mine. I'm not creating it. I'm just absorbing it. His creativity injected into me. What position has been best for me? I don't really know. I can only think of the missionary position. That's the only sexual position that I have in mind. I have a few fetishes too. Like particular sexual things that I like to do. For example I prefer licking chest hair. That turns me on. I like it a lot. The male chest is very attractive to me. More than any other part of his body, of course that other part. I feel like the best way to compliment a man is to praise his dick and I'm sure he will love it. I wrote this thread a few hours ago. Suddenly men have become intoxicating and alluring to me, so alluring that it's almost irresistible. So I imagine these male characters giving me affection in different ways. It's intoxicating. Every man is different. But I crave for every form of male affection. I find intimacy in it male sexual intimacy that can drive me nuts It's like karmic healing. These days I have been thinking exclusively about men alone. These male sexual energies make me feel less repressed sexually. It's like I can open up without feeling shame

I feel being desired by men. And it's not like an ego thing. I have just begun to like men the way I never did before. I like the male anatomy. It's like I have to integrate with it. I have to understand it and respect it. I feel like I neglected men for too long.. @RickyFitts thanks for telling me that..

I feel insanely sexually attracted to men these days. This is a new development. It's probably because I stayed repressed for so long it caused me to burst open with intense energy. It all comes out some day when enough has been held back inside for too long Part of the reason could be that I never really experienced sex. And now sex has suddenly become the most important thing on my mind. And men look adorable to me. But of course I need some chemistry or emotional connection to have sex with a man. I want to explore how much I need a man.. I want to explore how a man makes me feel I don't get offended by men who are sexually interested in me unless it's in a bad kind of way. I think deep down I'm just starved of male affection and I desire it deeply. I desire being touched, being kissed on my neck and being held. Being adored and being penetrated in a loving way

I have been virgin shamed and then I have been slut shamed. It's like I have to oscillate between these two shaming patterns.

I feel scared and uncomfortable to tell the truth.. The truth is that I'm a virgin. I never had sex. Yea I had Boyfriends but I never had sex with them. Because...... I felt repressed. I felt horny but I couldn't tell them that I was horny. It's only now after many boyfriends that I finally decided that I need to take sex a bit seriously. My body count is basically zero.

I am trying to explore my own sexuality. It is sometimes very confusing. I have somewhat surrendered to the idea of romanticism and eroticism. The vagina is important to me and so is the penis. I feel like sex is sacred. I can feel my vagina. The more sexual I become. I can feel the tantric energy (at least that's what I call it) rising up from my vagina and then spreading across through my body producing pulsating vibrations in all parts of my body. Then comes a feeling of calmness. I feel delicate, defeated, conquered and fragile inside. Male domination makes me sexual. I want to like hold the dick.. Male domination makes me feel owned deep inside. And this feeling of being owned is very intimate and passionate like he should hold me down. I have no idea what's so surreal about it but it makes me feel special.. Maybe deep down I just crave for male physical affection a lot and that manifests in these fantasies that I have.

Even Ricky is a character in my book

Yea for me it can never be plain sex. It has to be something preceding it like mental chemistry, attraction, obsession, romanticism. Something that makes me want to have sex with the guy or surrender to him.

Rupert is Damn sexy. He can make me feel any way he wants to and I don't mind. He could just pull my hair and drag me on the bed and give me the most intense orgasms. He is caring and tough. He always wants to protect me.. He can be a bit strict, a dominator..

Reece is very erotic. He makes me feel punished. He is obsessed with me and sometimes that can be a bit of a frightening thing but I mostly take him lightly. Mae'rr is a old style tyrant. He wants me as a sex slave a submissive wife but I won't have it. He tries to force himself on me and I try to push him away

I was thinking of all these male characters I had created. Rupert Chayne Reece And Wilbur and Mae'rr. One is Chayne Another is Rupert And the last isReece Chayne gives me this peaceful church feeling. Rupert is somewhat pragmatic and loves me deeply. Reece is a bit of a cute psycho, innocent, but obsessed and faithful, sincere, honest with his feelings. Wilbur is a character in Unironically-german.

I want to be open about how I feel sexually. My sexuality is changing everyday. I get new fantasies in mind. It's fascinating and romantic. It makes me warm inside. I feel like a kid sometimes.

I felt so sexual and romantic the past few days. I have been hornier than usual.

Yea I experienced how beautiful sex can be very recently. Sex can have many flavors just like music..

@SamC thank you

This is it. This is my last love No more love in my life. I'm tired of falling in love I won't fall in love with a man again ever. This is last for me. My heart has grown tired of wanting and desiring. I end it here.

I always wanted a man like him. He is so special. The kind of man I wanted as a soul mate. I'm happy. (secretly)

I come from a Hyper strong masculine dominated patriarchal culture that demonizes women who open up sexually and there's an awful lot of shaming of women who talk about their sexual feelings. Now when I look back, it's the single greatest thing that has done extensive damage to my womanhood and mental health.

I always feel like I will be slut shamed if I write this journal. It's hard for me. Living in constant fear of being shamed. This is not good for a woman's mental health.

Addressing the fear while writing this journal.... I still have fears of being slut shamed while writing this journal..