Preety_India

Self analysis. I was a person who needed a little bit of a push in life, a little bit of a nudge. A little bit of a guidance, a little bit of knowledge and I would do perfectly fine. All I needed was that. Yea I remember being a very childish girl when I was 18. Very naive. Not having any sense of maturity back then. So much has changed since my teen years. I am not the person I was in 2015. I have come a very long way. I have gained so much. I have learned so much. I have become so matured. At least I would like to believe so. In the last 5 years my relationships with men have taught me so much. I was disciplined in my relationships. But I always attracted wrong men. It was my blindness and my overly trusting character. But whatever happened , it all happened for good reasons. Maybe life had to throw those curveballs so I could grow up really quickly. So that I could learn really fast.

To be honest, it really saddens me so much. How can a great country have such problems. I become very nihilistic whenever I think about this Trump debacle. Kinda makes me lose faith. It's such a deep sad emotion that I can't say in words. How did this even happen, I still can't believe it.

@Waffle gotcha. In that case you will need to talk to her about her gambling addiction. But what if she doesn't give up? Have you thought about your future and the future of your kids? Gambling and smoking are serious addictions.

I'm not very fond of Sam Harris. But I'll give him credit for constantly going after Trump on his Twitter. That was needed to awaken people. Harris did a good job with that. It's good that he renounced his membership of the IDW(imo it's a very disturbing association of ideas). If he really did renounce then good for him. Hope one day he sees his own blindspots just the way he saw Trump's

@Nahm ahh, I am gonna bring back the dream board. Thanks for reminding. That was the most awesome thing.

@Bird Larry You simply do not have to care about what people think about you or your choices in life. Ask yourself this, "who are they to judge me?" That way you liberate yourself from the fear of being judged. Stop caring what people think and you'll feel very free. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Even if you feel that way, realize that it's only pesky thought bothering you and there is really no truth to such a thought. It is simply social conditioning that makes us think the way we do. Have a good day and cheer up.

@Nahm thank you Nahm. That was very sweet of you.

@Waffle Is your partner married to you? I need to be really frank here. She is literally destroying your life through her addiction and domination. You need to think about this situation seriously. I'm not sure about your age because that matters how you are going to make things work for the future. If you are young you have a lot of opportunities (not saying that you won't if you're older) but you can easily move out and get out of this situation. You are sort of codependent on her, I'm not sure how long your partnership or marriage has lasted, the longer the worse your codependency has gotten. You will need to break this cycle before bad things begin to surface in your life. Right now block any thought of relationships in your head except for the one that you have with your kids. Just switch off your brain, and only think about how to get yourself out of that place. If you have enough money, you could move somewhere nearby and find a cheap place to rent and then look for a small job nearby immediately. Or alternatively you could look for a small job right now and then plan your moving out gradually. Do you have a family like parents, siblings or distant friends or relatives who you could ask for temporary financial support so that you can easily move out. Your situation seems severe and you need to take urgent actions before things get uglier few months later. You have to move out. That's final. There's no Reconciliation or half baked solutions here. She is literally going down and taking you down with her addiction and health issues. Often times such people just cannot be changed and it gets too late. So my advice is that you have no option other than moving out. You only need money and some help. First make a solid plan such that she won't find out. I don't think that she will be too happy or okay with you moving out, I can sense her anger from the description of her behavior, she seems dominating and someone who can give a hard time if things aren't working her way. So you gotta ditch her carefully without her finding out. This is like planning an escape from prison. Make a plan on how to get out of that place. If you're married to her you could then apply for a divorce. If not. I'm not sure how the custody process works in your country. That's up to you to figure out about how to deal with custody of kids. Get legal help regarding kids because she is in no shape to take care of the kids. She might even end up harming them or completely neglecting them. So once you get out safely you could make plans to get your kids to safety. Contact social services and explain them the situation so they can help you with this. If you are able to keep the job, no problem but otherwise you might want to use your disability benefits for some time to deal with expenses. But that won't be too difficult or too long, eventually when you get a job, things will begin to look better so the struggle is only in the initial stages. I hope you take my advice seriously and leave that woman completely. She is living in a bubble and she is just being very destructive. You just have to plan your escape in a very elaborate careful manner. Also when you break up with her, do so in a very careful manner so she can't get at you.

@diamondpenguin how are you doing now? Have you been living in a safe place since the fires in September? I hope all is fine. Was thinking today about this thread. Just checking.

Hahaha. Do you still teach English in China?

I get what you mean but do you think that someone having the tier 2 vmeme is going to be fundamentally and radically different from someone who is at the stage green vmeme or stage orange vmeme, or do you think it's possible for an individual to have several combinations of vmemes infused into their personality whatever vmeme they are currently at, whether Tier 1 or tier 2, what if such a person is not truly aware what tier they're at, in such a situation what sort of parameters would you use to scale them across the spectrum, also do you think that these vmemes stay permanently as they are or is it possible for the person to switch context over time and adopt a different vmeme across the spectrum depending on the new information and experiences they continuously come across in life, would that impact your overall perspective about them?

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Whatever you embody becomes your nature.

@Blightlantern One thing to do is to stop caring what people think. You need to be firmly confident about who you are. Let not others have such an influence on you and your life. Also mixing with all kinds of people gives you the opportunities to learn about situations from different perspectives, allowing such a space needs radical open mindedness from you. You need to be willing to go to the deep end but this way you find true growth. You have an obligation to give constructive feedback to everyone around in your life, don't censor the feedback and care less about how they are going to react to it, there is an incredible sense of liberation when you do that. When you have the courage to accept and confront all the flaws in ourselves and others, we see true growth in our lives. This comes from a place of deep awareness and insight.

@Dima what do you expect from such women?

How does your own partner respond to your thoughts on relationships? Have you talked to her about your special friend?

The eye sees it all.

Simple. See yourself as a lion. You should be more than proud of her accomplishments. After all you got yourself a wonderful partner, as much as she is admired, people will admire you as well for loving a woman like her. Always use your fears and negative emotions as a driver to motivate yourself to dream big, achieve big. It's completely okay if you feel ashamed but don't live with it, let it inspire you to move forward and make good of your opportunities. You can always look back at how far you have come. Remember what you are now is not your final version. Youre a work in progress. Cherish that. Cherish all your little baby steps every day and be nothing less than proud of yourself. Right now the only person holding you back from feeling great about yourself is you. So take yourself out of your own way and dream big. Don't let your thoughts control you. You take charge and tell yourself that you are more worthy than you think.

Hahaha. This is classic. Don't know what to say here. Are you advising that everyone should have orgies in relationships? When two people love each other passionately, I'm sure there's nothing boring about their sex. This is just a limiting belief by investing too much into biology. Lol. Try infusing passion and romance into the relationship. The fire will sustain it.

You can always argue that candidates need campaign funding and the main source is usually the Big corporations and Wall Street. Completely. This is a systemic issue that even @Leo Gura talks about. You might have even heard Cenk Ugyur talk about it (from Tyt) Money and religion needs to be removed from American politics and that is going to take a lot of time but at least there is awareness about this issue. However if you only focus on the American public, you will see that constitutionally and in real life, electors are completely free in voting their favorite candidate without pressure, suppression, bribing, threatening or blackmail. That is a very appealing and democratic thing about America.

@Gesundheit you can call me egotistical though. I can give you that. I do have a bit of an egoic edge to my personality. But many many people have egotistical tendencies. Does it mean that they are narcissists? Absolutely not. My PTSD does cause me to get defensive and maintain an ego, this is just a defensive front I put on to reduce triggers from further activating the PTSD. This is absolutely normal for all PTSD victims. I have been diagnosed with PTSD by my doctors many years ago so Im already on my way to recovery but PTSD does not recover as easily as I would want it to I hope that clears up why I get defensive.

You're an absolute gentleman. That's how you communicate it and that's why people say it to you. You are lucky. Very few men are like you and it's always a pleasure talking to you.

Hehe. your wife loves you more than you know. She is a lucky gal.