Preety_India

I think it happened many many times. It happened when I was 14, and I had to confront the death(or murder) of my pet. Then I had to confront the death of my father shortly after. I remember being suicidal at 17. I remember being suicidal and doing self harm at 21. I remember being beaten up by my mom and being suicidal I remember being suicidal in 2015 in September when I was very lonely and I decided to give up. I converted to Christianity. 2016 is when I start recording diaries.. Like 10 diaries full. Mid 2016 is where I have all these big arguments with my second boyfriend.

How do I know if the eggs I'm eating are grass fed?

Worth is never outside yourself. All worth is within you.

I can't believe that people are supporting this. It's obvious that it's very odd that he is dating a 19 year old. I myself wouldn't date someone 21, let alone 19. It's not going to end well. But to each his own. To me it screams red flags all the way, if he was good, he wouldn't lied about the most standout factor here - age. That's a huge bad signal already. He seems too sneaky to me. Add into it that he is a teacher obviously to really young students. This thing doesn't look good from any angle, find any justifications that you might, but the simplest thing here is to notice how weird this is. All these long long discussions when it's so simple.

Narcissists secret weapon

Overt usually feels confident. Covert is desperate because his supply is always running out.

Covert salad

That's some slim shady. Better your sister be warned. Warning bells lol.

@BornToBoil no. I usually wear skirts on weddings.

@Keyhole yes he is hyper aggressive. He used to shut down any kind of conversation that did not appeal to him. Everything had to be his way. I was just a puppet. Eventually he forgot the girl because it was only a strategy to make me feel sorry, he actually did not like the girl. He would come around and tell me that they were a whore or something like that and then confess his love for me. It was his trick to make me feel insecure so that I didn't leave him. I used to tell him that I would leave him if he didn't stop his drama. He used to find ways to control and keep me in the relationship although I desperately wanted to get out, the only thing binding me to him was that I had once saved his life, he was going to die and I took him to a safe place, so out of kindness I remained in the relationship of which he took massive advantage. Narcissists prey on kindness.

@BornToBoil I was talking about the jewelry. I don't wear that type of dress. Those are outdated in my country. I wear shorts or t shirts and jeans/trousers.

@Keyhole he said he was too busy to have a conversation with me and warned never to bring it up again.

@egoeimai that's a beautiful Indian dress. I like her jewelry. I remember wearing similar jewelry many years ago.

Just like people are told to stay away from junk food.

@Keyhole I didn't have the balls to confront anyone. If I ever confronted anyone it was my ex boyfriend. And it took me 2 years just to be able to do that.

Two words why woke culture or anti woke culture will always exist (and so will bipartisan politics) One self preservation Second bias (confirmation bias)

Pot calling the Kettle black

@Keyhole yes

Like they say one way to beat the Devil is to learn the devil's craft and one way to beat poison is to use poison against poison

More insights One way to understand that a certain dynamic is toxic is by recognizing one theme - you're not allowed to be yourself Are you being constantly contradicted no matter how hard you try to be yourself? You should know that when this happens, you're dealing with toxic people and this is a mild form of gaslighting. Be very conscious of your thoughts and reactions and carefully pick them apart and undo them. This is conscious undoing or Reprogramming the Mind. Not only are you undoing your deeply instinctual thought patterns but also replacing these thoughts with "productive or beneficial" thoughts Removing those thoughts which might be doing and attracting more harm.

Do narcissists care about your emotions The simple answer is no Do narcissists get bored of you? Yes and always. Even if you are still doing their job for them. Can narcissists show loyalty Only if they consider you to be super important to their business or enterprise. Do narcissists have a need for stimulation? Yes very much. In fact excessive. More than average. They have an endless need for dopamine resulting in them creating a lot of drama. Narcissists are always looking to enter into a situation where they are not welcome simply to stir trouble.. A very good example of such dopamine addictive drama creation is Trump tweeting "the shooting starts when the looting starts" thus creating wide-spread panic and clicking the drama button. How do narcissists start drama in a relationship? My ex used to constantly find a way to push my buttons. If I didn't like to discuss animal hunting, he would endlessly discuss animal hunting. See? That's they know they are pushing the buttons. They will do exactly what triggers a person. If a person is allergic to a certain thing, they would bring it up again and again. Breaking boundaries. Narcissists through their predatory behavior are an expert at detecting your boundaries and quickly try to break them to test how much you can take and to test your breaking point. Narcissists do triangulation Whats triangulation? Narcissists love the attention that they derive from two fighting over them in a relationship dynamic. For example Joseph would always bring some random woman into the relationship and make me fight with her for his attention. He would lure me into getting triggered over this other woman and make it sound like it's no big deal, knowing fully well that him being with another woman is going to trigger me. Even if I tried hard to not discuss the other woman, he would rub her in my face. In essence he wanted two women to fight for his attention, one his girlfriend (that is me) and the other some random woman. It would be very difficult and emotionally hard for me to constantly have to deal with this other woman drama. This is called narcissistic triangulation and is very famously observed in classic narcissistic abusive relationships. The stimulation derived from two people fighting over the narcissist is too tempting for the narcissist. He is only looking for attention You would also see narcissistic women doing this in their relationships where they bring a second man just to trigger their boyfriends and make them fight with this second man and enjoy men battling for their attention. It gives them thrill and stimulation. Narcissist parents do this kind of triangulation by inciting fights among siblings for parental approval.

A deep Cleanse will involve reprogramming of the mind. Don't have the temptation to instinctively react or instantly react. Give some time and thought to yourself and do some Counterintuitive work before you react. Be careful not to play a role. Often times predatory people offer you a role. They can say things like "can you do this for me" or "you're wonderful, you're getting my job done" or "you're good for this work" Notice how they constantly assign you work as if you are already working for them. You didn't agree to any such contract but they inadvertently put you on their personal contract and subconsciously made you feel like you have a role to play. What should you do? Take a step back and focus on this role. And then think if this role really suits you or is it harmful for you.. If this role is overwhelming, then get off this illusory job that you're doing for someone. This often happens in cult dynamics where the Cult Leader or Master assigns you an automatic role without you signing up for it. It's only later that you realize that you were being the mule for the Master. Quit any roles you're playing especially if you didn't ask for them. If you didn't sign up for it. Remember that you're being automatically manipulated and directed to play a certain role without you consciously realizing it.

In every situation, try to step back and take conscious decisions. I'll call this conscious control. CC. Also when you're around a narcissist in a relationship (romantic or non romantic), always remember that it is one way street. Because this relationship dynamic is highly predatory or parasitic. The person is simply feeding on you and getting what they want meanwhile leaving you deprived. Now understand that this is a zero sum game, rigged in the favor of the parasite /predator. But you don't want this. This is not productive for you. What you need is a symbiotic relationship which is mutually beneficial and mutually productive, that is the other person fulfills your needs and you fulfill their needs. Look for a symbiotic dynamic (2 way street) rather than a parasitic /predatory dynamic.

Some more insights Important things Perspectives Reprogram the mind Understanding Say no to "shutting the door" If someone doesn't take you seriously Cognitive Dissonant people and bickerings. One thing to do - if you get a nice "message" don't read it as nice instantly. Keep a certain threshold when something can be called "really nice" instead of jumping to the instinct of excitement, use Counterintuitive strategy. (this comes under Reprogram the Mind) don't give out instant positive reactions. (give that person more opportunities to be nice). Counterintuitive approach to love bombing. If you have a narcissist boss, don't expect anything from him.. Be cold. Have zero expectations. Whether it's mean or sweet give more opportunities to the person to reveal who they are. Don't jump the gun and get too defensive or too excited.. (increase your baseline limit for reactions) Work on triggers. Realize that you can't change people. Make the game difficult for them. Make two categories or 2 baskets for people - those that trigger and those that ground you. The ones that ground you are the ones that truly try to understand you. The ones that trigger you are not required. They are the canceled people. I'm too feminine. So the masculine approach would be to rig the game in my favor

Highly Sensitive Person