Preety_India

1000000 % Agree

Nobody said that. I was talking about myself, not you.

Everyone has an opinion. You have yours, I have mine.

Sex energy is karmic energy. Can't just go around liberally distributing it. If I ever have sex, it will only be with a person with whom I have a deep emotional bond. Sex is not so cheap that you buy or sell it. Low consciousness

@Loba glad willow is doing well.

I understand where you are coming from. It will hurt a long time. Seek love. With others as well as within yourself. Things will be okay. I thought I was unlovable for the longest time. But working on it.

@bejapuskas so this is a snapshot of a borderline.

Following are my observations of my bpd behavior Borderline happens due to bonding, attachment, intimacy and pathological issues. Their main problem revolves around trust, attachment and intimacy. Who can keep a borderline happy? - An extremely manipulative smart person - a total narcissist - a very sociopathic person - a very psychopathic person - an equally crazy psycho obsessed person - a very possessive person/needy person - cult leader type - very intelligent intuitive person That's why borderlines will mostly choose bad boys. And cult leaders as Partner A good normal healthy individual will become a nightmare to a borderline. They can't cope with such people. They will feel odd or deserted What does a borderline want in a relationship - High trust - high safety - high intimacy - high protection - high loyalty - openness - high empathy and understanding Borderlines are very sneaky and secretive, they have many many onion layers. You have to peel off their layers to get into their inside world. Or they block you They are a mystery to people. They hide from people. They don't get intimate quickly They have deep fear of judgement They are very sneaky. You have to expose them to win their trust. Borderlines are pathological liars. Compulsive liars. Stems from fear of judgement. They act juvenile. Deal with a borderline the way you would deal with a child who steals candy, without threatening the child, but also winning their trust. You can't be friends with borderline.. Very difficult. Because they don't allow you into their world Borderlines don't wish to be dictated by their partners, they want the partner to objectively explain them why something needs to be done instead of being commanded or ordered. The last thing they want is confusion, explaining them with proper evidence and facts reduces their inner confusion over their doubts and conflicts. Dismissing them and not explaining to them can make them suspicious and confused causing them to feel unsafe around such a partner. Explain to them the way you would explain to a child and dismantle their confusion and they will calm down. You can be their friend, Only if they trust you otherwise you are out They can be pathological liars and manipulative. Borderline psychopathy Basically a borderline is like a frightened child. You gotta win their trust They look at the world with a very black and white way, no nuance They either love you or hate you Everything for a borderline is absolute. They love with passion. They hate with passion They are very avoidant You are either their friend or their enemy They feel attacked even for the slightest things. They are super fragile emotionally They suffer distress if you come close to them especially if you are a stranger. They will hiss at you and tell you to leave them alone They will act very hissy and feral if they don't trust you. Or if you failed their trust They don't want a Stranger to comment in their journal. They absolutely hate intrusion. They don't like anyone (who is not intimate) to show personal interest in them. They don't want any personal attachment with strangers. Their avoidance can be mistaken for narcissism easily They do a lot of self harm and hostile to any kind of help or treatment. They are resistant to therapy. Best to leave them alone if you are not intimate with them They get into abusive relationships in fact they have a long list of abusive ex partners because they do a lot of people pleasing to their partners, zero boundaries causes partners to abuse them. They generally attract narcissists and psychopaths due to attachment issues (normal people get bugged by their Hyper attachment but psychopaths enjoy it) they find it difficult to leave narcissists. Borderline are commonly in relationships with narcissists because of unique dynamic between the two. They worship the person they regard highly to the point of blindness. They might even die for them. Defend them even if this prized person is wrong. But they might even kill this person (if they are wronged by this person) Borderline can be selfless, devoted Empathetic but fly into rage under distress and even plan murder if they are wronged. In essence they don't have a structure to their view of the world. It's either this or that. They are extremes. They live dangerously. They can have an addictive personality. They can be broody and dark. They have extremely low impulse control and go out of control under distress. Borderline psychopathy. They hard to calm down once in rage. They get psychopathic when threatened and mistreated. They do better with supportive partners who win their trust and intimacy without judgement Although they themselves are extremely sneaky in their communication, they can't tolerate a cold partner, that will drive them crazy. They want to be challenged if they are having a short fuse, they want a partner to argue with them and then diffuse their confusion and stress Borderlines crave attention from their partner constantly and get very needy to the point of annoyance. Being ignored by their partner or being left for long without attention can make them panicky, nervous, insecure and Abandonment anxiety can set in. This happens due to lifelong anxiety arising from childhood neglect from a dismissive narcissistic/bipolar parent. The last thing they want is a partner who reminds them of the neglect their parents caused them Being neglected and ignored can exacerbate their anxiety, loneliness and trauma. Borderline want physical affection like pets. They like being petted every once a while. Affection and attention is important to them. The fear of neglect, rejection and abandonment anxiety is quite debilitating to them. They are very needy, generally more than others. Their neediness causes them to keep pursuing relationships. Their neediness can sometimes be exhausting to the partner. Leaving a borderline person in the middle of an argument can be fatal. They will lose trust in the partner immediately, they will fly into rage and storm off the place and never return back. The relationship is over right there. Instead talking to the borderline, arguing with them and calming them down helps them. They want their partner to talk talk talk and talk and zero dismissal. They want their claims and rants and whining to be addressed properly and challenged. Because its a matter of trust and they are looking for closure during their explosive arguments Borderlines might even appreciate their partner being mad at them during an argument because this will signal them that their partner is truly emotionally invested. They might appreciate a partner who is critical of them, because it means the partner is involved and paying attention and not being dismissive. Also borderlines like the shit out of them exposed, they see it as heroic and appreciate guts needed to challenge them. They won't appreciate a cowardly passive partner. They want stimulation from their partner whether it's argument or affection. Love or war, both need to be stimulating. Being defeated and owned by their partner during an argument makes them surprisingly happy and elated. Borderlines are very clever, sneaky, secretive and evasive. The partner will need to interrogate and almost grill them (without making them feel rejected/nervous) to get to the bottom of the truth. Borderlines greatest fear is rejection, Abandonment and not being taken seriously enough. And lack of intimacy. Their core values are safety and trust and they feel threatened easily. And go into panic which manifests into manipulative behaviors to escape being detected or rejected. Acting coy, avoidant or giving them silent treatment will make them lose their shit. Once they lose trust, they will act avoidant and never talk to you. They are extremely loyal but expect the same from the partner. In fact they go to great lengths to test their partner's commitment and loyalty, even spying. Borderlines are Hyper possessive in a relationship. They want to obtain and keep even the littlest things that belong to their partner Cheating is the worst crime in their mind and the punishment will also be huge. A borderline Wil continue to talk to an ex only to see them suffer in pain. Since the ex hurt them, the borderline would expect the ex to suffer forever as punishment A borderline will secretly enjoy the pain of their ex. Language that they generally use is like "what the hell is your problem? Leave me the fuck alone? Answer me? What the fuck?" they will swear a lot and get directly confrontational and spazz out. Their anger is very intimidating. They explode like a volcano. They have explosive anger, volcanic anger or borderline rage where they will go into panic and are impossible to calm down. Their rage and whining can last upto hours and days. They don't forget if someone did them wrong even after 10 years. They will secretly spy on the partner and the partner will not realize it. They are very sneaky with their spying. They spy out of lack of trust A borderline's communication is very sneaky. It's like an onion. You have to peel off layers. They will never say anything directly and they will make contradictory confusing statements. You have to read between the lines because they use cryptic language. They are mysterious in their communication. You have to learn to understand them. You have to intuitively know their feelings. They expect you to understand them without having to tell you anything. They are hard to open up. In fact they almost never open up. They Keep acting sneaky. Fear of judgment causes this. They won't share everything. You have to be smart enough to discern and catch their feelings and thoughts. They only open up fully when they reach deepest intimacy with their partner. That takes time and patience from the partner They will never directly tell you how they feel. They will use metaphorical language and expect you to pick up the clue. Borderline will only hurt their partner only when they are significantly distressed. As long as the partner hasn't hurt them, there is nothing to worry. Borderline don't go around hurting random people they have no karma with. Borderline will only hurt those who wronged them especially in a personal relationship, they are cool to deal with as long as they are not fucked over. They can be super nice and sweet as long as the partner is on their right side. Being on their wrong side is an invitation to collapse of the relationship. They have internal unprocessed rage. Borderlines have powerful strong and intense emotions and such emotions can't be taken lightly. They will only talk to a person who finally got intimate with them They want extremely few people who are deep, intimate and super close to them. They will cut out the rest They will usually be sweet and popular and people won't realize they have anger burning inside them. Borderline will attract attention because of their unique behaviors A borderline Ioves over attachment and obsession. If a partner is obsessed with them, the borderline will enjoy this obsession and might even appreciate being stalked by their partner. It will make them feel wanted and belonged. Because they want high attachment after all. The last thing a borderline wants is a cold uninterested detached unemotional partner. That will drive them bonkers. A borderline can create intense confusion in a partner although they themselves don't want any confusion at all. They sense inauthenticity from a mile. If you act fake around them, they will immediately dismiss you Borderlines are prone to suicide due to loneliness and rejection and the fear of not being understood. They are territorial. Don't go near them. Don't act personal with them if you don't really know them. They will get defensive and throw you out. If you ever approach a borderline at least try to be sweet, or they immediately cast you away They have very low trust and they perceive everyone as an enemy. They will hiss at everyone like a wild animal. Borderlines don't mind being criticized by those that they consider to be friends or are intimate with, they don't even mind being offended as long as this person is their friend. This is because they feel carefree around someone they trust so such criticism does not create a threatening feeling in them. They can even laugh it off. They look at everyone suspiciously. They feel threat because of childhood trauma You have to win their trust. Or they move away They hold deep deep grudge. Don't fuck with them. If they feel wronged, then they can kill you out of revenge You can't fuck with a borderline. There is borderline rage that can lead to murder if they become desperate Don't trigger them. Don't get too personal. Don't get too close(if you are a stranger) . Don't be fake. Don't fuck with their emotions. Don't rub into their wounds. Give them privacy. Don't attack or criticize them (they see criticism as threat/attack). They are hypersensitive. Don't try to help them because they Don't want help They are aggressive and introverted, child like and very Hyper protective of their own space. They are self destructive and usually depressed, bad mood, low mood. They don't like people talking about them. Any personal touch triggers them. They have intimacy issues If you come around them, they will look suspiciously at you Borderline can experience insecurities and jealousy in relationships but their sneaky behavior Will not show it. They will be calm and sweet from outside but raging from inside. They will mostly tell you to leave them alone and if you don't leave them alone they will lose their shit. If a borderline commits a crime, they will mostly use a knife. Because they are highly emotional while committing a crime, there is a strong sense of purpose or reason and they want to hurt maximum. If they experience rage, they might plan to kill the person who is responsible for their rage. They will become psychopathic. Best example of borderline is Jodi Arias who killed her boyfriend. Best example of borderline rage

@bejapuskas yea many people think bpd is bipolar Bpd is very different and kinda rare.

https://youtu.be/_vBRGWoK6_4

This is a good one.

I'm an INFJ and I struggle a lot with this

Oki.... So... Let's see. My biggest confusion is always about good and evil and this will probably help me with that So one thing. I really don't know how to define evil

Satan, I'll listen to you if you buy me these shoes. They are cute. I'm girly girly.

Alright as per the instructions given to me, I'm gonna feel this guy. Whoever this guy called Satan is. Try saying his different names too. And see which one feels truest. And then keep chanting that one. You’re trying to feel this guy not think about him. Don’t expect anything just feel what you feel as you do whatever you’re going to do for you Satan meditation. smell was rotting flesh. I felt cold breath on the back of my neck. And felt an intense hate. Hmm... Rotting flesh. Eww. Cold breath. As a psychic I've experienced cold breath many times. Make that same hand sign he’s making with the same and in the air. Focus on satan. You can experience him if you want I already experienced God. Now time to experience Satan. Different names of Satan

I had some violent thoughts towards other people and I tried to control myself because I got anxious.

Nah. It's server issues on forum from morning. Happens. Happened at least 4 times in last 72 hours.

I'm going to try satan meditation.

I was into Satanism.. Now Satan makes sense. I need a Satan in my life. I like Graveyard, dead people, feeding on their energy. I like all that now. I like the morbid side of life.

I have begun to appreciate evil for some reason. It has a different vibe to it. For me everything is artistic and aesthetic. I see why people play games I have begun to love my disorder my bpd Bpd is my lover. Yea my crazy behavior. I like that now . I think everything that the mind does, does for a good reason.

Partner behavior with bpd.

Here is my problem. Maybe signs and symptoms vary from person to person. But I observe a lot of contradictions. She was very quick to share very intimate, traumatic aspects of her life on our first date together. Although I'd known her for a while, we'd never been more than acquaintances and she jumped from that to sharing incredibly intimate things about he personal life. A form of "oversharing" I guess which unless I'm mistaken is common in people with BPD. Oversharing is not common in bpd at least not with complete strangers. Bpd are extremely slow to trust anyone and the last thing they will do is share something with a stranger. This sounds more like bipolar Right after this she steered me into a sexual interaction in a way that I think was rushed and that I later interpreted as "I am not confident in my ability to choose sexual partners so I am in a rush to find out what they are like in bed before getting attached to them" Bpd is not sexual right away. But bipolar are. Bpd is very untrusting. Sex is the last thing they will think especially with lack of trust Mood changes from one date to the next where in one instance we could be extremely close and intimate and the next she would be cold or angry. This was completely unprovoked. Bpd is not generally cold, they are slow to attach but they won't let go easily. They can get angry but anger in bpd needs proper provocation. Anger in bipolar needs no provocation. Bipolar can suddenly act cold I didn't describe her general demeanor but she was very volatile. She could switch from being very fun and happy one instant to immediately becoming closed, combative, angry if things did not go her way. This can be an npd feature commonly seen in bipolar Often times bipolar often gets misdiagnosed as bpd. If she was bpd she wouldn't even want to meet you the next day and no way would she get intimate. Bpd has the hardest time trusting. My guess is that she is bipolar but got mistyped as bpd.