Preety_India

This music is constantly in my mind.

Spooky

Making notes. Thanks guy.

Do it already cuz I'm too impatient now. Just kidding.

@Nahm Lmao. I need some good glasses. You look super duper young for 46. You must be eating a magic diet. I have to confess that you're the sexiest guy on the forum. Lucky wifey. Subscribed to your channel and left a comment there.

@Nahm are you kidding me? You look like that? I never thought you would look like that. I've no idea why but I imagined you were a funny fatty guy with a huge smile and scrawny look. You look like a skinny serious guy lol. You look like you are ready to slay anything. And you told me like 22 years of marriage Seriously how old are you @Nahm

@diamondpenguin I'm so sorry that you were bullied by people. It's the most unfair thing in life. Nobody should get bullied. Bullies are the worst.

I find it extremely pleasurable to imagine a ghost raping me or having sex with me Rape not in the sense of a crime but more like rough sex and sadomasochistic elements I've discovered that some of these sexual moments of deep intimacy and sex have been the most beautiful, peaceful, calming and relaxing and releasing for me. They have given me unusual strength and clarity. It's obviously supernatural but this is not my first brush with the supernatural and this won't be my last. I have had supernatural experiences where I felt like I was saved from death. Things where I felt a strange presence or hands holding me. But when something held me, I also felt an unusual sense of peace, affection and calm.

Sex with ghosts, spirits, entities.

The place where my rape fantasies come from - the place of supernatural rape. My thread on sadomasochistic rape fantasies. I like bdsm rape fantasy. I like being the Sub in the roleplay and the guy being the Master or Dom. I like dominant males. Only dominant. sadomasochistic-attraction-to-dominant-males Supernatural Rape Fantasy

So I've been exploring this side of me. And sometimes I develop romantic and sexual feelings for different entities and imaginary things like ghosts and spirits. So i wanted to know if i was all alone in this and I looked it up and there were some references about this. It's called Spectrophilia

Marabella says That which is love stays with the truth That which is love gives hope That which is love brings peace That which is love knows it all. That which is love understands and accepts you.

The blue haired version of marabella

I've several tunes ringing in my head that describe my state of mind. I can't describe these musical tunes but I've a couple of them that are close to the music running through my head constantly everyday.

In this journal I will alternatively refer to myself as - Preety Angel 998 Marabella I'll be wearing a glowing purple triangle on my forehead as a sign of being one of the angels in the world. Like this.

I've decided to take a new identity, an alter ego. This new identity will help me cope with my PTSD symptoms. This new identity helps me understand my own feelings better. It reflects how I feel. There are many versions of this new identity - the pink haired version, the purpled hair version, the black haired version, and the blonde haired version.. I'll call this new identity Marabella.. Marabella represents a woman who suffered trauma because of child abuse and tries to run away from the world and cannot trust anyone and is trying to fight the trap called Life. Marabella means "star of the sea" Since I'm a Pisces, I totally connect with this name. The pink haired version of Marabella, the Indian girl version. The purple haired version. I'm wearing straps all over my body as Marabella and these straps represent the " trap" that I constantly feel I'm in. The blonde haired version of Marabella. Like the dog chain choker. The black haired version with braids.

My stomach is in such deep pain. I feel like someone put a knife through me.. It hurts so bad. When will people wake up and realize that they fucking hurt.. And it's not okay to hurt someone. When will humanity wake up and realize that victims exist and they need freedom and justice. That child abuse is real.. That millions of children get abused every day and half of them never get a chance to recover and they give up at some point. Why is the world so tone deaf to the suffering of humanity? Why does it take something horrible to happen for people to realize that something needs to be done to stop all the evil on this planet? Why is humanity is so shamelessly selfish and indifferent to the sufferings of others? And why all the pretense and hypocrisy of helping others? Like this guy I was talking to today, he was at first sympathetic to me and offered me empathy, saying how much he could relate to how I felt and how awful my situation was, only to snub me later in a condescending way Why do people do this? Why do they pretend like they care and then act like they couldn't care less? It adds more hurt and pain. Like if you aren't fully ready to help someone then don't try at all. Don't try to FAKE HELP. BECAUSE I DON'T NEED IT. YOU DON'T NEED TO DO IT ONLY TO PROVE THAT YOU'RE SOME GOOD CARING PERSON. BECAUSE ACTUALLY YOU AREN'T. YOU DON'T MEAN GOOD INTENTIONS. YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN WELL BUT ACTUALLY EVERYTHING YOU DO IS AN AGENDA. I suddenly relate to these people. I DON'T NEED YOUR FAKE EMPATHY. I DON'T NEED YOUR FAKE HELP AND FAKE APOLOGIES. BECAUSE THEY DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD. STAYING AWAY FROM ME ACTUALLY HELPS ME MORE. JUST DON'T COME TO ME. I DON'T NEED SHIT. I CAN HANDLE MY SHIT YOU DO NO FAVOR OTHER THAN USING MY PAIN TO PROP YOURSELF ON IT AND MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE THE BETTER GUY. THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE DOES. JUST ANOTHER STUPID HOLE OR TRAP TO FALL INTO

I feel like I come from alien space. I can't believe I'm among these people. Unbelievable. People are so harsh and judgemental. It's such an effort to pull through.

Want this so bad.

A beastly confounded disgruntled old hoot of a man. What a scummy old hermit. Such an unpleasant old hag man got nothing better to do but create unnecessary trouble. Shut up you limp-dick old asshole.. And stop bothering me. Mind your own business you sick old man. Always tryna get into my stuff.

I can feel your pain. Wish things were different.

Agree.

@captainamerica they are not living in my country. These are my American friends. They are not Indians.

Like dude, why are you keeping a tab on me? Leave me alone When I talk to people, it's so bad. Especially men. Like what's wrong, what's up with all the narrow mindedness? I was being admonished for speaking to someone. Like wtf?? What did I do wrong? Talking is a bad thing? Constantly reminding me how I shouldn't talk? What an insult? And when I go back into my shell, I'm told that I shouldn't do that. What kind of a stupid fucked up mind game is this? When I'm being silent, I'm not allowed to be silent. And when I speak up I'm told I'm being too bold. Like what is this. I'm so tired of this bullshit..