Preety_India

Horny does not mean "low integrity." You can be horny and still maintain integrity and not want to fuck every hole in town. Good luck.

Basic line of politeness = just ask the person if they want sex. Then ask if they are sure like two times. Keep a boundary - if you(the girl) don't give a hint at all, I won't do this. Wait for a clear hint like she says she wants sexy time. Tell straight up that no sex until proper consent given. Or proper interest shown. Have some integrity Sex is good, but don't be so mad about sex, not worth it. Only people with lowest integrity will take a no as yes.. If she doesn't give a clear hint and doesn't want to honor integrity, she isn't worth having sex with anyway, she is just a ball of trouble. Is she gonna call it a rape later? Why bother risking your life on people who aren't sure of what they want and just play coy games. If someone wants sex, anyone, they be clear about it and those who want to accept such people do so only when things are clear. This way you avoid unnecessary legal trouble and waste of time. If you remain on firm ground that you will only take people who are clear about what they want without ambiguity, then we create a safer zone for everyone. There's absolutely no need or reason why someone should play coy and put everyone in trouble. Responsible people will never do that, won't play games or be too uncertain or blame others for their uncertainty. (another suggestion is to take uncertainty or ambiguity or mixed signal as a no, safer than taking it as a yes, but in general just best to avoid such people who create unnecessary confusion )

Why did I allow so many abusive relationships? Let's take a tour of the factors that enabled such a toxic phenomenon or chain of events? Lack of experience I had zero experience on men and relationships when I started out. Now my experience kitty is full of necessary arsenal. Those type of men are far away from me. I learned how to avoid them. Emotional abuse in early childhood causing inability to differentiate between abuse and respectful behavior, no role model to show respectful behavior causing to allow oneself to be abused by the partner I suffered intensely in childhood. Narc abuse early on. Naivete There was a significant level of innocence, naivete and general lack of wisdom, I think this happened to me due to autism. I couldn't process emotional stimuli or did not have the social IQ to understand that emotional abuse is going on. Now I have the answer to why I was acting dumb and naive.... It was Autism Emotional self flagellation I was blaming myself all the time. It became easier for the manipulator to make it look like everything was my fault. With bpd, self deprecating behavior is very common.

Causes of borderline disorder How does a borderline profile develop? Following are the causes of bpd Types of emotional abuse I went through (from childhood to adult) Narcissistic abuse (from parent) Bullying (from parent) Emotional neglect as a child (from parent) Abusive relationships (toxic boyfriend) Gaslighting (in relationships) Verbal abuse (both parent and boyfriends) Manipulation and blackmail is also a form of emotional abuse And so is invalidation.

I'm struggling with the concept of good and evil and I'm not sure how to properly phrase this mental dilemma. I have contemplated on the subject of evil multiple times in the past 4 years but only came to tidbits and half truths. Now the first step would be to be able to properly define evil. So what's your opinion on evil and how would you define evil?

@Loba yea agree.

Directly message Leo.

When I look at Jim, I turn into poley hase. Omg. I'm getting tingling all over. Dances like a crazy rabbit around a pole.

Translation of the picture Mental cruelty and psychological manipulation is extremely emotionally damaging. Borderlines manufacture desperation and desire. You probably worked harder for this relationship than any other, right? You put more time, energy, and thought into it than ever before. And in turn, you were rewarded with the nastiest, most painful experience of your life.

Borderline personality disorder is far more dangerous than bipolar.

Essential difference between me (borderline) and bipolar Bipolar has mood swings. I don't. Bipolar mood swings don't have specific reason because it's brain chemistry change. Borderline have deep reasons for their reactions Bipolar experiences shallow less intense emotions. Borderlines experience deep emotions Bipolar, it's all genetics mostly Borderlines Emotional states are due to trauma Bipolar especially manic rough to deal with. Borderlines are generally sweet Bipolar is manic episodes There is no manic episodes for borderline. They simply go into borderline rage on occasions. Otherwise they stay calm. Bipolar is rarely psychopathic. Borderline psychopathy is seen in extreme conditions. Sociopathy is common in manic bipolar. Sociopathy is not common in borderlines. Borderlines are very goal oriented when it comes to sociopathic/psychopathic behavior Bipolar can be cold and distant. Borderlines are Hyper avoidant Bipolar can easily manage social occasions Borderlines have difficulty in expressing and show autism or other communication disabilities

My world is full of emotions. My world is all about perceiving through emotions. I can tell if something feels good or bad, but if you asked me why it is good or why it is bad, I can't answer that or I don't know how to answer that. Essentially I'm like a child. My behavior is child like. For example. If you are an adult and you tell a child that a certain Uncle John will be at that place for a house party. The child gives an ominous expression. They act nervous suddenly. And you ask the child, "what happened?" The child replies - "I don't like Uncle John." And you're perplexed You ask the child "why you don't like Uncle John?" The child goes blank and is unable to answer this question. The child can't logically construct things together or come with a proper logical explanation. The child simply repeats, "I don't like Uncle John." Maybe Uncle John misbehaved with the child on previous occasions. That's why the child is giving such a negative reaction, however the child is unable to articulate their sentiment logically or even understand why they feel this way. They just know they feel this way but don't know the logic behind it. My brain works like this. I can't logically connect things. But my brain feels things. My brain doesn't pay much attention to logical facts. It tends to feel everything rather than think it. This sometimes leads to confusion and sometimes it is really beneficial in assessing situations or people where information is very limited. I can just sense people It's like a sixth sense. But I don't use brain. Just the vibe that I pick up or the sense. My emotional sense as a result is highly developed.

One thing I lack (terribly) as a bpd is logic and rationale. I don't think logically. At all. I don't use logic and rationality. My world is full of emotions. It's like a collage of emotions. I fluctuate from one emotion to another. I get Hyper emotional even over little things but not in an absurd way. My mood doesn't change normally and I don't get mood swings like bipolar people. For me it's all about experiencing emotions from time to time.

I suffer memory issues due to bpd trauma I have realized my brain wiring is significantly different from the rest of the people because of trauma. That I never or will never perceive the world the way other people see it. This is both an advantage of my autism and as well as a disadvantage. Disadvantage because I can often push away good people who actually meant me no harm. Advantage because often times the autism causes me to feel very psychic. So I can smell people from far. They can't really fool me too much. Like I understand certain things I just feel it. I get suspicious. Sometimes my paranoia is completely false But not all of the time. Sometimes my paranoia about a person's intent is on the spot. Usually I'm right. I am rarely wrong.

As an autistic I can find it difficult to process information. I can take it the wrong way or not understand it at all. I feel hurt mostly. Sometimes when someone asks me, what is it, I really don't know how to answer that. I'm stumped for an answer. I go blank I can't properly articulate my emotions and feelings and thoughts. I struggle like an autistic. I end up saying what I didn't mean to. This is then used against me later. People tend to feed on my weaknesses. For the sake of my sanity I have decided to leave this forum. The hostility here gets me. I don't like how understanding is not fostered and people are quick to jump on demonizing. Now that I have understood who I am, I don't even need this forum anymore. I just have to focus on my well being and let go everything else. I love Jim and I can be with him in peace

I can call myself BPD- Autistic

Bpd diagnosis has been a great breakthrough for me.

Well, survival is just as important as higher values. Do you guilt yourself for survival?

This is really a great post. Giving others their space rather than assuming things

A horrible realization is also dawning on me that my brain structure (not brain chemistry) and wiring is horribly entangled and changed due to trauma and this is extremely extremely difficult to change or reset. This wiring has automatically made me very vulnerable and susceptible to manipulators and abusers. Anyone can manipulate me literally anyhow and I wouldn't even realize it.

I feel like cutting myself. It's awful. Because nobody truly understands me. Everyone goes by impression and assumptions. I feel invalidated and cornered.