Preety_India

@thibault it could be anything but (you keep adding new details that adds to confusion) its not bpd. Maybe some emotional dysregulation disorder, definitely personality, but there are so many cluster B disorders if she is not bipolar then she something else that I'm not aware of, but her behavior is not typical of borderlines. I'll enlist the differences of borderline and bipolar shortly, I'm compiling it because these are closely related in display of symptoms and often mixed up very badly because they are tough to differentiate if you haven't experienced both.

Difference between borderline and bipolar. Both similarities and differences. How I imagine borderline to look like How I imagine bipolar to look like Borderline Fear of Abandonment Unstable self image Unstable relationships Feelings of Emptiness Mood often shaped by interpersonal conflicts Sudden and short lived mood shifts Disproportionate anger Bipolar Sleep disturbance Distinct euphoric and depressive states Mood often stable between episodes Sustained mood shifts lasting days/weeks Bipolar Interpersonal insensitivity Grandiose self image Borderline Sensitivity to perceived or real Abandonment and rejection Badness self image (self deprecating) Bipolar Mood disorder Associated with genetics and brain chemistry Impulsivity only presents in manic or depressive episode Symptoms triggered by neuro chemistry Equilibrium between mood swings Swings last days or weeks Borderline Personality disorder Strongly associated with life events Impulsivity linked to personality traits Symptoms often triggered by relationship conflict Self harm behaviors Fear of Abandonment Constant mood swings. Swings can happen multiple times a day. Bipolar disorder mania Increased energy Extreme agitation Obsession Impulsiveness Unrealistic ideas Bipolar disorder depression Difficulty sleeping Hopelessness Excessive worry Extreme fatigue Isolation Borderline Attempts to avoid Abandonment Self harming thoughts/behavior Inappropriate outbursts Extreme anxiety/irritability Impulsive behavior Unstable relationships Constant mood changes Feelings of emptiness

Goes to sushi shleep with him.

Write here.

One minute without you (Jim) feels like one hour. One hour with you feels like one minute. Geez.... Love is brutal and beautiful at the same time.

I have been judged by people in the worst possible ways. If you misunderstand my disorder, you know what..... I don't give 2 fucks about it. How about that?

I like Satan meditation. It helps my borderline symptoms.

You have to love yourself first and foremost. This comes from a deep lack of self love. You're externalizing this lack. That makes you a people pleaser and you are constantly worried what people would think I was like you. I used to stalk the social media profile of my ex. He used to stalk mine too. Surprisingly these behaviors are pretty common and there is nothing to worry about. We normally look for social validation, it's in our social DNA. What you can do is practice detachment. Detachment will teach you how different your world can look when there is no need to please anyone. Stalkerish behavior comes from unhealthy attachment described as obsession due to low emotional maturity. When you reach higher levels of maturity where you realize that such suffering is born from attachment, you learn to drop it and drop the person. Here's what you need to do as an urgent action. Drop thoughts about that person and drop them too. Thus they are no longer a part of your life. My favorite line is this - Don't give them rent free occupancy in your brain. You're doing unnecessary favors.

Psychedelics do have dangers associated with them or else people would do them everyday

I have exhibited Stockholm Syndrome symptoms.

You can actually be authentic without actually hurting others.

Extreme emotional abuse. Extreme emotional abuse can also lead to stockholm syndrome.

General tactics to deal with borderline anger How to detonate a breathing bomb? 1. Hold your ground and be firm and macho. Show no fear 2. Do not abandon or leave in the middle of the fight 3. Strong eye contact. Look in the eye of the borderline person as you speak to them 4. Explain clearly and start arguing logically. Display no emotion but show empathy 5. Do not invalidate the concerns of the borderline person, do not insult them by calling them crazy or stupid or insane 6. Dismantle their argument with logic and facts 7. Do not mock or trigger them. Respect them. Do not take their emotions and concerns for granted. They are looking to bond with you chaotically through anger 8. Empathize with them and tell them that their feelings are understandable (although not rational or logical) 9. Do not make them feel like they are crazy but let them understand what they feel might not be true and has poor logic 10. Physical affection during argument like hug or kiss or pat on the back can significantly reduce their emotional stress and calm down their hyper nervous pumped up energy 11. Most likely your borderline spouse is autistic. Try to explain things to them as you would explain to a child. Don't confuse them and be as concise and clear as you can 12. They might be on the Verge of a nervous breakdown or burst into a barrage of tears. Console and comfort and let them know that you can be trusted and let them open up about every concern they have about you so that their insecurities and fears (mostly concerning rejection/abandonment /trust) are put to rest 13. Diffuse their anger by being calm and rational with them 14. Defeat their argument using rational logic and common sense and successfully own them Borderlines will generally feel a bit embarrassed upon defeat, they will most likely apologize to the spouse, calm down and go back to their business and then come back later for a hug and appreciate your effort in resolving their anger in the fight. They will secretly admire that you owned them and respect you for it.

Borderlines also use their anger to bond with their partner.

High consciousness is possible at extremely low IQ. I have seen people with low IQ show remarkably strong psychic intelligence, a kind of intelligence that is never messured I'm a bpd and I have autism and my IQ is low. Despite that I have shown remarkable spiritual progress in terms of consciousness

The only bad thing about borderline is their explosive rage or sudden burst of anger and whining. How to handle borderline anger (a guide for the partner) Consider the borderline to be a bomb that you need to detonate before it goes off. The borderline is waiting to pounce on you with full force. They are pumped up and are ready to explode. In worse case they will go on a rampage and break things. In the worst case, they can either grab a gun and then nothing can be predicted what's going to go down They can intimidate you very badly. If you are weak emotionally, then you can't handle their anger at all, you will feel frightened and unnerved to the point where you can experience sudden trauma if you are hyper sensitive yourself. You might be permanently scared of them. So how can a partner handle borderline Rage and regular borderline outbursts Remember a borderline is not angry at their boyfriend/husband out of hate but out of love. The more they love you the more intense is their anger. The more explosive they get. Because they felt hurt for some reason and their frantic explosive rage is their only means to express their hurt or pain at you. How you will handle this as a partner will be testament of how much you love them and how healthy/beautiful you want to keep the relationship. Tactics to deal with a borderline outburst - The borderline will slowly escalate a fight with a non lethal argument at first, they might show displeasure. Then they can slowly escalate from there to full blown anger. The anger Can turn to fury followed by a sudden barrage of tears or guilt, helplessness or excessive apologizing A borderline is very illogical and irrational during the anger. This is an advantage to the opponent. What tactics to use - Love them when they are angry. Don't get hostile when they are angry. You have to understand that their goal was not to upset (although it might look like that), but to seek resolution for their hurt and pain by whining at you. Put yourself in tactical mode. Don't get emotional with them. Keep any emotion aside. The borderline is hyper emotional and irrational right now. They will literally any nonsense to hurt you. Mostly it will have a sarcastic complaining accusatory tone, like "why did you do this to me?" "why did you cheat on me?" All of this is their irrationality and paranoia. You have to immediately be in tactical mode. Don't let their anger panic you. Don't show any fear. Any fear on your face will drive the borderline crazier. It's like tiger wanting to suck your blood. Fear on your face will make the Tiger pounce on you. Just stay calm and hold your ground very firmly without flinching A borderline adores machoism So if you are courageous and holding ground firmly with zero fear, this will be very admirable to the borderline. They might even want to back off just by your display of machoism You need to show a lot of machoism and competence when a borderline is angry. They are looking to be defeated or conquered by you. And if you fail to defeat them, they lose all respect for you. You have to be calm, show no fear, show no hostility or hate, calmly confront them and logically challenge them. Start asking them logical questions because they are going to be very absurd at answering your logical objective questions. They don't know how to answer, and this will completely dismantle their anger within minutes. You can't trigger them. They will lose hope. So don't call them "insane" or "crazy" when they so pumped and ready to fight. Name calling them during this high energy fight might make lose trust with you. That shouldn't be your goal. It will be abusive to use their anger to attack them. They are simply emotional and irrational and just looking for a fight as a way or outlet for their inner hurt. Do not invalidate their anger. They might feel betrayed Do not shout or yell at them. That would be like abusing an angry animal. Remember that when a borderline is angry, they are simply wild and pumped up. But this is also because they love you so much and don't know how to show their insecurities to you other than exploding into bouts of anger, whining or rage. They are still looking for your love even when they are mad at you. They are simply extra mad at you. Don't mock them when they are angry. They will feel insulted. You have to cause the least emotional injury while also winning their trust, diffusing their ticking bomb and winning the fight successfully. When a borderline is angry at you, they will treat you like an enemy. They will go at you with intense emotion and there will be a showdown. They are looking to make you as angry and scared as possible and your job is to not let them win. If they win, they will be very disappointed that you didn't fight hard. For a borderline, an indication of love is how hard you're ready to fight with them and win it. It means you really want them in their mind despite their ferocious wild energy and hostility they are throwing at you. It's like winning a wild animal. They feel good that you went past their hostile display and won them over. Now they will give up the fight and submit to you without any further resistance. What you need to achieve is successfully own them in the middle of a fight. Treat the borderline like an opponent and conquer them. For this you need patience, empathy, machoism, self control and logical reasoning skill. You have to own them and diffuse their wild energy. Diffuse their silly irrationality. For a borderline how you respond to their anger or them being mad at you is the ultimate test of your intimacy with them. They want to know if they can trust you enough to freak out at you or be mad at you. They can feel very vulnerable if they won a fight as opposed to losing. They weren't looking to win. They were looking to lose. So if you stayed passive and didn't fight, or if you silently took all their accusations and assault, they might end up feeling worthless and depressed and realize that you didn't love them enough to fight. They might lose trust or feel like you aren't invested enough. They will walk away in disappointment. Deep down the borderline is very hurt and vulnerable and fighting with you is their only hope for a resolution since they have little control over their emotions and a poor logical sense making it impossible for them to have a proper argument with you. These are their weaknesses that shouldn't be capitalized on. They shouldn't be hurt or targeted using their weaknesses. They shouldn't have to feel preyed on. Instead they are looking for signs of love and acceptance that you can give them by properly owning their fight, explaining things calmly, open confrontation, handling their over emotionality, challenging their poor sense of logic without insulting them and giving them a reassurance that you still love them..

@thibault another clue that she is not bpd but manic bipolar is that she never apologized and was hard to satisfy, typical of manic bipolar, whereas borderlines are chronically and excessively apologizing in relationships. I used to excessively apologize in my relationships Borderlines are apologizing all the time.

@thibault she is most probably not bpd. Bpd won't overshare with strangers. Nor will they hang up like that. They simply won't be giddy enough to be with you just to dump you, borderline emotions are deep, it's not a mood disorder, what you are describing are phases of mood on rotation, which is uncannily similar to manic bipolar that runs cyclical and expect a manic bipolar to hang up and ghost, my mother is bipolar manic so it doesn't take me much to detect the difference, most psychologists can't differentiate between bipolar and borderline because they only read literature and don't have ground experience, that's why I wasn't paying much attention to you, I'm not invalidating your experience at all, just saying that it's completely different from how a borderline would typically act, yes I have unstable emotions that change very frequently, yet it's episodic and not phasic, your description shows a phasic cyclical behavior in the woman, characteristic of manic bipolar as in my mother, which is fairly common and I understand that she was diagnosed as bpd, but often the most common misdiagnosis is that of a bipolar being diagnosed as borderline so I'm not surprised. There are similarities in borderline and bipolar only in outcome like impulsivity but their behavioral signs are vastly different, one is a mood disorder with typical behavior as you mentioned and the other namely borderline is an emotion personality disorder that is extremely hard to find and hard to deal with. A borderline won't start a relationship with you, forget breakup. They are very slow in sharing their stuff and don't share at all. My mother was into oversharing with strangers. Borderline don't dump them selves, they get dumped by the partner. They are usually not messy, they are messy only to strangers that they do not like, in personal relationships they are completely fine or even easier to deal with unless they are heavily triggered in which case they won't have a giddy phase. Detachment and being giddy is the last thing to expect from a borderline, their emotions are deep, they are not interested in drama and you would not even know that they have broken up, they are gone before you will find them. The experience you had is cyclical bipolar. I have lived with many bipolar people all my life including my mother and I had relationships with bipolar men, my current relationship is also a bipolar, I'm so used to bipolar that I can easily tell the difference between borderline and bipolar with no mistake because of my experiences. I don't give much credibility to psychologists because they often lack ground experience or field experience and misdiagnose bipolar as borderline. I have been diagnosed by a top psychologist (high rating) in my place who has incredible experience and who also diagnosed my PTSD plus I'm a 100% match for borderline on every trait. So my diagnosis was perfect. I'm the only borderline on this forum and there are many bipolar here. So that should be a clue.

Pathological lying can develop as a defense mechanism

Wiring component A Related to emotional abuse Emotional abuse in childhood. It causes abuse to be normalized. For example - if a child is called a loser or fat by the parent, then when they grow up they are not able to differentiate between being respected by their partner or being verbally insulted as fat. This is because they can't differentiate between abuse and love. They take abuse or accept abuse as love. So they can't easily detect abusive love. For them it doesn't appear distinctly different from proper healthy love because they simply don't know what healthy love looks like. So three things happen here. 1. Not having a standard model of respectful behavior as a map/guide One is that you don't have a template, role model, framework, or blueprint of what respectful behavior looks like. This means you will never have the chance to know what behavior you should be looking for or picking. No healthy option given to you. You don't even know if a healthy option exists. 2. Normalization of abuse. Emotional abuse in childhood. It causes abuse to be normalized. For example - if a child is called a loser or fat by the parent, then when they grow up they are not able to differentiate between being respected by their partner or being verbally insulted as fat. This is because they can't differentiate between abuse and love. They take abuse or accept abuse as love. So they can't easily detect abusive love. For them it doesn't appear distinctly different from proper healthy love because they simply don't know what healthy love looks like. You think that it's ok to be abused since you begin to downplay your own abuse or don't take it seriously. You don't fight hard. You think it's ok or manageable. You don't even realize it's abuse to begin with. It doesn't create a shock factor. It does not shock you enough. It doesn't look or seem alien to you. Because you are so used to it. 3. Zero understanding and zero enforcement of boundaries. Emotional abuse also means that your boundaries have always been broken. The abuser always forcefully breaks your boundaries one by one so to get you used to it over time. So when you grow up you don't have a sense of boundaries. You don't understand boundaries. (you only understand boundaries after you are properly fucked up) You don't even know what a boundary should look like because you have never been taught to have one. You missed out on the crash course on boundaries that your peers got. All of these factors easily causes you to never see a relationship as abusive and or cause you to stay put or stay stuck in these relationships for a long time and doesn't enable you to leave them. In simple words, past or childhood instances of abuse enable patterns of abuse in adult life that causes the chain reaction pattern of progression of abuse seen in abuse survivors who constantly fall victim to cyclical patterns of abuse that never seems to stop. It's like once you are abused, you will be abused repeatedly without breaking this pattern.

Other aspects of bpd Excessive attachment Emotional eating Abandonment anxiety Excessive spending. Rage issues Borderline psychopathy Self image issues. Constantly wanna change. Zero certainty Paranoid fears Psychic sensing /vibe Person of interest Adulation for Person of interest Unable to deal with inauthenticity Boundary issues

Brain wiring Syndrome This includes the entire package of issues resulting from childhood abuse. Just remember that the brain wiring has been fucked up completely. And every wiring component has to be dealt with individually to bring healing What consequences does each fucked up component lead to? Wiring component A Related to emotional abuse Emotional abuse in childhood. It causes abuse to be normalized. For example - if a child is called a loser or fat by the parent Wiring Component B Related to trauma Wiring component C Related to low self Esteem Wiring component D Related to emotional neglect Wiring component E Related to bullying Wiring component F Related to autism Wiring component G Amnesia and partial memory

I'll call these comorbid issues That is they all co-exist alongside each other. Let me go into depth. My problem cannot be only bpd There are different facets to my brain wiring I should call this the Brain Wiring Syndrome

I have a lot of issues here. It's not just bpd. Although bpd is kinda exacerbated or triggered by these issues, but some of these are standalone issues. I was contemplating on these issues trying to separate them from bpd Emotional abuse in childhood PTSD due to trauma Anxiety disorder Depression Low self Esteem/self worth

Verbal consent is a part of good manners.