Preety_India

This is something that has been plaguing my mind for some time now

@Preety_India that no matter whatever I do, I'm still not good enough.

.. Something that needs to be stretched over time. Eventually it will.

@ilkjnkh just take the link of a picture and copy and paste it here.

self-talk blessing-everyone-and-this-world blessing-myself rant-rant-rant rooms in-another-world-another-time rap-lyrics turning-pain-into-purpose what-would-i-do-if-i-were-my-normal-self evanescence what-power-means-to-me taking-back-what-was-stolen-and-what-was-lost surviving-through-it-all-hyper-survival-mode-hyper-ego hyper-awareness-being-oblivious monstrous-force unhealthy-coping-strategies A & D

@Preety_India I saw this in a Jewish way of writing or a French one? I don't correctly remember. But it occurred in a past life. Anyway, it never needed any introduction

How does that feel when you're running away from the waves?

@Preety_India In hindsight, I've realized that people who are the simplest, no matter how overbearing, condescending and oppressive they might be towards you, are usually the better ones over those who are secretive, more complicated and difficult to read kind of individuals. You usually get fucked over much worse by the second category of people much more than the first.

Game B

@Preety_India just don't be a people pleaser. I know that in general social context a people pleaser is a person who is generally considered to be this normal, decent social person who is level headed, easy going and easy to get along with. And it's within public decency and consideration that most civilized, progressive and evolved societies tend to encourage people pleasing behavior to some extent because to some extent it is supposed to reflect a certain amount of humility in a person, even though it might appear fake and diplomatic at times, it is still considered the best option while dealing with public affairs, what we also refer to as social tact, the question really is how much of social tact is too much and how much of it is really healthy, and to what extent one must adhere to this concept of civility. It's beginning to appear that this form of artificial induced civility can sometimes be harmful to inner authenticity. Are we suppressing it while being a delicate social butterfly snowflake? Also, that literally anything, even in the slightest, which is against social mannerisms, people pleasing manners, is easily labeled as snappy, hostile and terse. The person is immediately relegated to the category of "hostile", "defensive", "problematic" etc etc. And people begin to hate you for your defensiveness. Aaron represents the qualities of my mother in some ways. Of course she was a narcissist just like him. Both are sagittarians, I have no clue what it has to do with it. But both were pretty confrontational when it came to people, a little too much to be considered pleasant and this veered into the territory of intense, hostile and unfriendly. They made a lot of enemies in public. My mom was the most hated person in her neighborhood, back when I was growing up. She had this tendency to always speak the truth, sometimes to the dislike of many of her audiences resulting in being brandished as this unfriendly, thoughtless and monster person. Although her narcissism was extreme in terms of grandiosity, she was also unabashedly honest about herself and sometimes I admired her grit in public to get what she wanted, meanwhile I used to stand behind her like a pussy not wanting to confront people the way she did, and also guilting myself with shame and regret on having such a mother. In many ways, Aaron's self destructive, hyper aggressive personality reminded me of so many aspects that resembled her during her heyday. Not to mention, that the way Aaron speaks, not the fullest extent though, reminds me of Joseph as well. I've already stated how similar Joseph was/is to my mother.

@Preety_India if someone ever acts once again where they try to suck me into social games then I will remain cool and collected and simply reply this. Just set a boundary and say to yourself “I’m not going to be a people pleaser” No need to be aggressive just be like “hey, I don’t want to do this. That’s your business I’m not getting involved. If you want advice on something I can help but I’m not getting involved in your affairs on a personal level” and then you’re done.

@Preety_India like when someone approaches me, how much is it coming from a place of sincerity and or how much is it coming from a place of self serving agenda??

@Preety_India there's always something redeemable about a person who is generally hated. Agreed that Aaron has a lot of issues but at least he knows what he is talking about. He got balls to say what 90 percent people are always afraid to say. That's what I like about abusers Yea they can be wild and nasty and general bullies but they don't hide behind a facade. They say it like it is. If someone is being mean, they call it out.. If they are unable to help, they say it. I'm talking about overt bullies. They don't care about your feelings. But the ones who put on a mask are even worse. They give you feelings of discomfort, make you feel unworthy, unwanted, small, hanging in the background, but they don't openly admit they are just going to use you. Whereas an overt bully is a shameless and snickering in admitting that they are simply messing around with you That helps.. I mean we can all do kumbaya and act like we really love each other but the brutal truth is that if one of us dies out there, then we could care less and we just move on like it's another day. That's what Aaron is trying to talk about. In a way even rap music does the same thing. It gets snappy and salty, and it does appear toxic sometimes. And you don't like that space. But how much of it is really your own discomfort in facing the truth.

@Preety_India don't give into stupid things. Even though I think that Aaron is a stupid narcissist, and a freak, he is still helping me a bit. Because he likes the truth.. He wants to see it as it is. Guy is objective.

@Preety_India I don't have anything to do with this website anymore except the people I made friends here recently. I only want to care about people who are genuinely with me. It has been a struggle to acquire friends but it's worth it.

But is there anything wrong if I want to do makeup only for myself, because it makes me feel fresher and better???

I think both ways it's trying to get some form of validation.

@Preety_India I'm pushing my own cart.

@Preety_India Made a few friends online. So far good. Honestly people outside of this website are much better at being friends. Less argumentative.. Made 3 friends so far. I want to have like 10 friends I can talk to. This will be awesome.

@Preety_India Need to figure out what this whole thing sapien medicine is all about. Who knows.

@Preety_India take inspiration from Aaron. Look how he is hated. Look how it doesn't matter to him.

@Preety_India you're [ ] This is it..

@Preety_India you have to understand that no matter what people will hurt you.

@Forestluv decided to follow you finally.