Preety_India

I just want to be with a man with whom I will feel completely safe Otherwise Nooooooooooooooo

This is such a special one.

Rejection is no big deal.. I have been rejected by men.i have rejected men myself. No big deal. Happens all the time. It's a part of the dating game.

Institutional/Systems Help Write about this later

Have you ever looked into it? The way you should.

Situational Analysis Write about this later.

Chaos handling Write about this later

Keep doing it.

This one

That's when you don't make a move at all. Beware of trying to play too hard into the "I wanna be an asshole to attract her or else I will be friendzoned" Meme because not every girl is looking for a mean guy who will get her attention. Learn to read her first. You could easily go completely wrong in your approach if you go theoretically, or by the book. In reality, you need to first screen the person well enough to get to know beforehand as to what would be okay for them and what won't. This is just simple people handling, if you fail at the basics, dating is out of the window. So be careful, trying to run with the whole trope of appearing like the crude guy, it might come off as aggressive and that can be a hit or miss, either something that helps or becomes a huge turn off. So it's not going to work with every girl. Also do a bit of homework before you put on the crude guy act. By homework I mean that you need to establish a connection with the person/girl, get them emotionally stimulated enough and then make your move, if you directly make a move, the first word that will run through her mind in big bold letters is "CREEEP" and you don't want such aggressive energy to defeat your purpose. So roll your dice carefully. Friendzoning usually happens when you are into too much simping, waiting too long, especially when she has already shown interest, not being strict with your boundaries, acting sissy /lame, don't have anything else going on in your life, don't act protective enough, don't act bold as in masculine bold (don't know how to express this in words, it's like a vibe if you understand what it means, very hard to explain this ), let her piss all over you, don't attack her at all (doesn't mean that you attack her all the time, doesn't mean physical attack, it means create polarity polarity polarity... Act like you don't care, act like she should listen to you but you still do what she wants in the end, it's all about putting on an act for attraction, not being a straight up a-hole, it means giving her ample opportunities to think about you, get wet thinking about you, get wet dreams about you, this will need some emotional back and forth between you and her, which means at least 1 month of interaction, you could start a fight for no reason, create drama, build tension, all of this while still being her lovely friend, that's how her brain is slowly shifting towards you in a different way, now you are not just a friend but a guy who understands her emotionally but is also getting her vagina worked up, she can't resist the polarity you're creating, she is able to trust you because you were a friend to her for so long and now she has to reconcile that you're not just a friend but a big MALE in front of her, not necessarily big in size, but big in EGO and her wimpy puny ego is defeated in front of your big MALE MASCULINE EGO, yet she is not scared because you didn't put her in danger, she is not upset either because she thinks you care about her, so she is delightfully pleased that you held onto your own and didn't back down to her puny ego, at the same time you aren't supposed to completely destroy her ego, keep some part of it by teasing her, making her feel wanted, making it all light hearted, laughing at her if she attacked you (a real feminine woman will love it if you laugh at her while she is going off, like I used to secretly smile when my ex used to laugh at me going off at him, he used to find my anger cute, it's like laughing at an angry cat) and you also fulfill her ego partially by playing the protective guy, doing what she tells you to do, if she wants you to accompany her then do that, all the while maintaining your polarity by locking your eyes with her, trying to demonstrate to her that you are still a male and not some Teddy Bear, by making sure that you tell her that you are not to be messed with, you act serious and keep a distance, deprive her of affection sometimes to keep her craving that's how you build chemistry, moment to moment, blow by blow, you create such intense polarity that she just can't stop thinking about you, you gotta be in her brain while acting like you are just a friend, then sweet wet dreams automatically follow at night, she will think more about you if you fought with her, if you didn't fight with her then she is not going to think about you because there is nothing to think about, it's about you hyping yourself in her brain 24/7, the way celebrities are always on the first page of the newspaper getting our attention, get into her brain forcibly and then she is sufficiently sexually stimulated to see you as a high value guy, at this point your social status won't matter much because you have established yourself as a bold MALE and that is so so irresistible to her joke of an ego, she will bite her lips in anger but wait for you to conquer her by waiting for you to make the first move. Then it's time for you to get her to be sexual with you by asking her to meet you in private. End of the story..

Start With a blank slate and zero stress zone. Work upwards from it. Recompression like cryotherapy.

Keeping a track to see if it gets worse. The last time I felt sudden pain was on March 5. Today is April 20 and it has come back. It hits for a while and stays on for an hour and then I feel better when I rub my back a bit.

I liked this. That life is like a unified screen and what you put in front of it dictates what happens behind the veil in ways that we don't understand - that humans know so little about this, that we are collectively like the equivalent of infants - you bring a cancer into your bubble of consciousness through these actions.

Note down anything that feels like bad energy. Get the broom. Clear this space out.

@Husseinisdoingfine you're wrong on this Bro. @Carl-Richard is right. What you're pointing is not conscious Society its tribal and less developed in terms of consciousness. They are killing to eat. But they don't have to. They can grow crops, also animal husbandry does not necessarily entail killing, for example you can still drink goat's milk if you like. There are ways to use animal products that are not cruel. We are not removed from nature just because we live in buildings, yes we are disconnected with it, in the sense we don't feel the aesthetic of nature around us, we don't feel natural enough, but this is not the nature we should appreciate, there is no need to, appreciate the good parts of nature, throw out the bad parts, nature is conscious in its own ways as explained in the Dao De Jing but what you're alluding to is a gross under appreciation to how far we have come in terms of consciousness, which is also a part of nature itself. Nature is not all mayhem, nature is also respecting the sacredness of life. You'll understand this if you get more intuitive.

Yes.

@StarStruck since I don't know you much personally, I'm simply trying to look at the problem in different directions. Just suggesting that no problem has a single cause or solution.. You have to keep poking in different ways till you get a composite picture of how you can go about it, if you know what I mean.

Does your trauma tie into how you talk or carry yourself around people? You might want to dig deeper into that if not able to establish a connection is a pattern in your life.

Not give into miserable thoughts. Life is hard. But you gotta do what you gotta do. You can't keep thinking about things that drain your soul.

Anyway. I just have to survive some how

Haha. This is like trying to bend a stick. It will break but won't bend. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I'm just glad that Blue exists. Weird Pikachu

Have you been hurt in previous relationships?

@StarStruck well exactly as you said. Have you tried amping up your confidence in other ways than simply approaching? I see this method as not really going beyond scratching the surface. The other thing I wanted to suggest you is this - try having more long and intimate conversations? Are you afraid that you would suddenly suffer an awkward silence or pause or not have much to talk about? Do you feel discomfort when someone has an emotional conversation? Are you scared or jittery when a long intellectual or emotional conversation is going on? Are you scared to have opinions, thinking how the other person might react? Do you feel very self conscious while speaking, thinking all sorts of things about how you are going to appear to the other person? If the answer to the questions is Yes then you will need to work extremely hard on deep conversation skills because this is huge factor in the area of relationships and friendships, you cannot build a connection with either male or female if you cannot get through this barrier. And don't be fooled into thinking that just approaching will solve this problem. Approaching can improve your approach confidence but not your conversation confidence. I was very bad at conversations. Saying things directly or abruptly and that made my boyfriend always assume the worst about me, lots of misunderstandings because I would directly jump to things, not knowing how to react or talk in specific situations. However I began talking, that is having long conversations with random people by first befriending them, not necessarily in real life, Just on the phone, texting and calling and I still wasn't good but the more I tried to extend conversations and attempted to have as long a conversation as possible it got easier to keep talking, even about difficult topics. I found it easier to present myself better and not so abrupt as before. People began to understand me better. It also helps in relationships a great deal. The other person can read you easily and not read you wrong. You appear a better person to them. They are able to see the real you and not be confused or skeptical Try that next time. I'm not saying don't try approach. Approach will definitely reduce your approach anxiety. But also work very hard on conversation skills. Buy books on conversation skills and practice with a lot of random people. Try to present yourself fully and better each time in a concise way, without appearing like you're rambling. This way you won't suffer the problem of being abrupt and silly in conversations.

Plenty of reasons here. First she lost her job. She might have been thinking about it and let go of all other things. Your message wasn't sweet. I would have ghosted you too if I was in her place because it sends me a feeling of discomfort. After reading your message, the first thought that goes through my mind is - why is he so eager? Why can't he take it slow? What does he want? Girls sense that very easily. The horniness. And they don't like that. There is no emotional stimulation in your message. Not one long text. You made it look like a Hunt. You didn't go beyond "how are you?" You could have asked so much more. You immediately jumped to meeting her. You didn't even establish a proper conversation creating warmth on both ends. I see your short conversation as very dry and selfish. Like a Telemarketing text - hey, how are you, ok, will you buy this product? That sort of. You reflected your horniness right away. Of course you just want to go for a walk. But it won't end there. You would push to get it to a point where you would want sex in the immediate future of your interactions with her. I have had guys approach me like that where they immediately set up dates before I even get to know them well. And I usually say yes out of courtesy in the moment and then don't bother to reply because something tells me that if the guy is not creating an emotional connection with me, but just wants to read me like a restaurant menu or catalogue, making sure he is getting what he wants, sorry but I'm not appearing for his interview, I'm not standing for his modeling contest, I'm not another number in his pick up game, I'm a human being. She agreed to it but later realized that she didn't want it.. That's all I can judge based on this limited information Reading this whole pick up mentality that you have, it looks like used car salesman job and ain't nobody got any time if you are going to be so dry about it. Honestly reminds me of beautiful Ariel Burdett who said "I'm not a number, I am a human being." That's why you got what you got.

I have realized that I'm the only one for myself There won't be anyone