Preety_India

@Loba

@Someone here no way. I never experienced this ever. I have no idea what you are talking about. It's news to me. I never felt even remotely disgusted.. I don't know about other people here.

@Loba you always have the coolest collection that I steal from

@Someone here I don't know seriously what you are talking about. I'm a 100% sure there is no such hormonal change post masturbating. It is only relaxing afterward. You seem to be entangled due to sexual shaming of yourself in a strictly patriarchal culture that looks at sex as some gratification. I used to be scared of sex. But I never felt disgust. Maybe disgusting porn is disgusting. Pure sex based on love is not disgusting, it's rather the opposite of disgusting. You probably are having sex in weird ways and attaching guilty pleasure to it later. Of course with everything there is a healthy and unhealthy. Sex is not unhealthy if it's rooted in love.

Have changed.

@Someone here you are in for serious trouble if you don't resolve this attitude right away. It's from your stage blue Indian culture and it impacts women more than men but it does not impact men any less. That's why I wrote "Diary of a sexually repressed girl" I suffered so much horrible sexual repression, it impacted my relationships for a long time and did not allow me to understand or enjoy sex. Then I decided I will need to break this social barrier and set myself sexually free. That moment was most beautiful because i understood the importance of sex. After that I never guilt myself on sex or don't carry a bad attitude towards it. But how you masturbate is important. My ways have changed permanently and significantly. I used to think of porn. I quit porn long ago. Long long ago. Now if I think of sex it's only in sacred ways imagining my lover/soulmate and me, nothing more, nothing less and it's wholesome. Since then I have finally realized and understood (God forbid) what sex really is. By having a bad attitude to sex, we corrupt sex and in turn corrupt ourselves.

I feel good when I do it. (was feeling a little embarrassed writing this)

Kai principle Kai is all about connecting to the universe. The universe always wants growth and abundance. And when you follow the Kai principle, you move in the direction of peace, love and abundance. I named this principle Kai because I wanted to keep it very short. Once you have Kai flowing, you have momentum I need a symbol of Kai

I love mauve and brownish and nude colors more. They suit me better.. I even like cherry and darker colors like plum. A bit of brown and plum and burgundy. Sugar plum fairy from Wet n wild collection. Even in nail polishes I like the more mauve colors..

It's kinda cool to wear sunglasses. Don't compromise on your eye comfort just because you are approaching someone.

I like it. I use a ton of visuals if you have noticed.

And some makeup stuff.

Just spray spray spray I like this cute soap handcrafted

Body mists or fragrance mists

I'm also going to adopt a strict cleaning routine.. I want to use homemade cleaning products. Like soaps made at home. I want to make some natural soaps with my own ideas I'll getting some books on how to make stuff at home. Soaps, cleaning bars, mists, sprays, perfumes, oils soap bars, balms and tonics.. I want to make some spray mists out of natural herbs and spray them on my face when I need a quick cleanup. I want to use garlic and herbs in all the cleaning bars.. I know it won't smell good but these are great natural cleaning materials Also some crystals rubbed on skin. Scrubbing their cleaning energy. I love this. I miss him. Wish we were kissing. Wanna kiss him. Been in a romantic mood since last 2 days and missing him too. When I need his kiss.

Further on the theory of the universe. Everything is only guiding you to do well. Nothing in the universe is ever in vain. Because the universe is open to the language of the Atmaan. The mini Atmaan is the individual soul. The Atmaan is the conscious awareness. The totality of the whole is the Brahman or the Super consciousness.. This includes everything . The universe operates on the karma or processes of the Atmaan. It will work how the Atmaan dictates it. But good and bad things can't be controlled by the Atmaan. I'll call this process the niti. This is how it is and nothing can change it. However the Atmaan can always move in the proper direction. In the direction of goodness. We have to be in Resonance with the messages from the universe. This happens when you keep the heart and the crown chakra open to the universe to hear the messages distinct and clear Remember the only plan of the devil is distraction and sabotage. And the devil does a good job at it. When you are moving and working in Resonance with the messages of the universe after hearing them, I will call this process Kai. So when you are in Kai, you are moving in the direction the universe has opened for you. Does the universe want us to walk in the direction bad for us The answer is never. The universe understands what your Atmaan wants. Kai, one with the universe

Some hippity dippity words ❤️Sense of security and ❤️feeling of abundance I never underestimate words. Words are the biggest motivators Whatever is... good or bad is a part of the universe, part of consciousness. Do not be afraid. All experiences good or bad are within it. See how the universe is communicating to you. So let's say if you get hurt, this is an indication from the universe for you to become the greater self of your self and let go the hurt. This feeling and experience of hurt is also a part of the universe. In return the universe is giving clues on how to deal with it. Instead of focusing on the hurt itself, focus on healing, focus on the message of the universe. The universe is saying to defect or internalize this hurt. This theory or insight that I came up with is based on the line What comes from the dust ends in the dust. Whatever starts in the universe ends in the universe. The universe wants you to experience abundance all the time even while you are feeling hurt. The universe seeks your best interest it wants your growth, it wants you to thrive and grow and flourish. But the toxic parts of life are always around. These can't be deleted no matter how much you want them gone. Bad circumstances and events will persist. Bad things and toxic things will happen. That's what the universe wants to say. That these bad things are also a part of it. But the universe doesn't want you to be impacted by these bad parts. Rather the universe wants you to experience abundance even while you are dealing with these parts. The universe wants to love you while you are struggling and battling your battles One of the persistent cause of hurt is the feeling of Helplessness, not being able to control how you are getting hurt, almost causing an existential Insecurity. The feeling of not having everything secured constantly perpetuates the fear. The pressing need to change things and the acute frustration of actually not being able to achieve a total utopia. But calm down..... Things are not in your control. They are happening by Synchronicity, all by the forces of chaos and karma. (right now I can see thunder and lightning outside my window.) So the universe is constantly relaying you messages and you're not listening. You're busy with your distractions. Listen to the universe. You might want to know how the universe responds when you are having a rough time. When you are hurt by someone By not resisting or intensely fighting the bad or wallowing in it or letting yourself be totally impacted by the rough time or bad thing or person. By finding your way to abundance even through these rough times. The universe wants you to slither out of it towards the fountain of love and abundance in the universe. This is where tantric sex is used

Cultivate empathy for others through loving kindness meditation. Remove the need to control people.

21st Century is the Way BlogPosts 1 Collected from previous posts on this page. The following things to focus on Upgrading my inner software prototype Let the brain receive new information and set itself in order. This is growth Don't just survive, thrive Asking myself - what exactly am I achieving Match the Column with Your Highest Value Goals Look for the hidden opportunity cost HOC (determine what you could have done in the same time that was fruitful Visualization techniques Shed past baggage Invest in self care Get out of your own way Practice letting go (what cannot be controlled and doesn't need to be controlled Let go of Survival and Existential Fear Using Sexual Energy or Tantric Energy as Motivation or Daily Drive I will call these mini insight posts 21st century is the way blogposts.

I have to try harder to work on my self esteem and everything else So much as happened in the last 3 years since 2018 January my life took such a tumble for the worse. It was such a long time. I was still kinda okay in 2017 December. Not that bad. But things really went south with the relationship with my ex. 2017 wasn't good either and 2016 December was when I suffered liver damage.. . Time goes by so fast. So much could have changed. I could have reversed all the damage, all the pain, hurt, loss but where was the time. 2015 was such a bad year. Frequent tensions. I just was too naive back then.. . It took so much from me. I believed so much. I trusted so much. I was so naive. I felt so dumped and unloved and used up by the end of it. And then it didn't stop there. 2017 was both bad and good. I just didn't know better. I was still young. Then when I started my first journal in February 2018. I hadn't known back then that the next 2 years would take such a toll on me, physically and mentally. The relationship was a huge Rollercoaster. It felt like eternal pain. I never knew what to expect any minute. But I kinda worn out with all these relationships. I'm too exhausted from past experiences. It's almost like I want to be left alone I just want to feel okay. I carry a lot of past baggage that I need to start shedding. If I married right now and had a daughter, my only advice to her would be not have any baggage in life and cut out all the crap in the name of love or whatever. It drains you. Life is short. I would have told her to live free on her own, enjoy life and be healthy and just have a healthy relationship or none. It's so difficult to be a woman. You have so much on your plate. You have to get married, have a husband, have kids, do a job, manage social aspects and also look prim and proper through all sorts of stressors and challenges. You're already doing your best as a woman and you're told to push harder till every ounce is taken out of you.

50 Journal Prompts for Self Discovery 1. What does your dream life look like? Describe it in detail. 2. What does your ideal day look like? 3. Where do you see yourself in 6 months? A year? 5 years? 10 years? 4. What do you know to be true today that I didn’t know a year ago? 5. In this moment, what are four things you’re grateful for? 6. What limiting beliefs do you have that’s keeping you from reaching your dream life? 7. What distractions are hindering your productivity? How can you reduce them? 8. What actions can you take today to simplify your life? 9. When do I feel most in tune with myself? 10. If you could talk to anyone dead or alive, it would be….. because …. 11. Write down your top 10 goals to complete by the end of the year. 12. Who do you look up to the most? Why? 13. If someone else described you, what do you think they’d say? Why? 14. What does happiness mean to you? 15. How have you changed in the last 5 years? What’s the biggest lesson you learned? 16. If today was your last day, what would you do? 17. If you could give advice to your younger self, what would you say? 18. How do you spend your Sundays? And how can you improve your Sunday routine for a more productive week ahead? 19. What do you need more of in your life? 20. If you could have any three things in the world, what would they be? 21. Describe in great detail what 5 years from now looks like. Where do you live? What’s your job? 22. What are 10 things you love about yourself? Why? 23. What are you most grateful for in your life? List at least 10 things. 24. What activities sets your soul on fire? (If you aren’t sure, then think back to your childhood. What did you love to do as a kid?) 25. How can you feel more fulfilled in your life? 26. If you couldn’t fail, what would you do? 27. What do I need more of in my life? Less of? 28. What are my best qualities? 29. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? 30. What’s your dream job? 31. Who do you look up to the most? Why? 32. Write down the type of person you wish you could be. Create an avatar. What’s their personality? Where do they work and live? How do they react to difficult situations? Think about ways you can bridge the gap between who you are now and the avatar you created. 33. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be and why? 34. Write down 5 positive affirmations about yourself. Repeat them daily. 35. What’s your favorite memory? 36. How did your darkest moments shape you into who you are today? 37. If you could live in any other time period what would it be? And what would you be doing? 38. When do you feel the most at peace? 39. Set a 2 minute timer and write down whatever comes to your mind. 40. What can you do today to move you closer to your goals? 41. What type of person do you want to be known as? 42. What do you value most in life? 43. What’s one toxic thing (or person) in your life you need to let go of? 44. What fears hold you back from living your best life? 45. Draw a picture in your journal of something that makes you happy. 46. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but was too scared? 47. How can you take better care of yourself? 48. What self-care practices will you try today? 49. At the end of life, what would you want to be remembered by? 50. What makes you feel alive? And when was the last time you felt that way?

Since I received his affection, I've been living in a different world. He would tell me that he would like my kind of crazy. I felt accepted because of that I felt something on a deeper level because of it.

Do this.

His affection was great. It reminded me of some of the scarce affection I received as a child. His affection was real,true and deep. And it made me look at bipolar people a little differently. All I remember is his affection.

I had tremendous amount of hate against bipolar people. But having a bipolar boyfriend and then learning from him the struggles of being bipolar, it helped to reduce some of the hate