Preety_India

@mandyjw notice that what you're perceiving as shame and blame could very well be your own cognitive bias. You think that it is blaming. I think of it as illuminating a person to their objective nature, making them aware of their flaws and in turn helping them to work on them. Now label can be taken as a way of shaming. Conversely a label can also be considered as a way of easily assimilating and assigning a bunch of information which the person can absorb under that label, rather than simply focusing on the label and taking offense. Both are perspectival.

I've a certain appreciation for some members. I was thinking about the concept of a healthy ego and all that anima animus integration. On the forum my inspiration for a well adjusted ego are the following people Emerald (from Diamond Net) Leo Gura @DocWatts. Dude contributes a lot to the forum. @Forestluv.. This dude is very objective. Very lucid. @Raphael... Dude is heavily work oriented and on point. @ll Ontology ll The funny thing is a lot of people on this list are Tauruses.

I really want to be on this path. This is in my mind.

@dflores321 if he is taking therapy and adjusting well, I not only see him as happy but also a survivor and winner. Haha, we look at the same thing very differently. But you made some great points.

You're right on the money ? bro

Like this picture.

@dflores321 I understand what youre saying. But identification of a certain issue is the first step toward healing it. And the healing generally happens with drugs and therapy specifically tailored for it. I don't think spiritual platitudes and bypassing will help much in that regard, something that people who keep spewing it all the time might need to realize.

@Lyubov thanks for the input. In my mind Leo is a great example of a healthy ego I find him very well rounded and astute.

@Carl-Richard If you think it's a relative truth, what's your argument for it? Should I simply take your word for it?

@Nahm you're what the whole thread is based on, not trying to offend, only criticizing. I had you in my mind while creating the thread. Just being plain and direct about it. So please don't take offense. much of your statements around the forum prompted me to think this way and question everything you think.

This was basically the gist of the entire thread and what I think of as spiritual neurosis. That statement was a prime example. Try having some appreciation for the field of psychology. Maybe such rhetoric adds to the well known phenomenon called spiritual ego?

I'm going to put all the solutions part on here, in this journal. Whereas the venting part will be shifted to "Absolutely Awful " journal.

Vent journal.

I have been quite salty in the past 10 days.. I believe that people always expect me to be on my best behaviour and that in a way reduces my humanness. I cannot be your sweet girl caricature. I'm aware that a lot of people like me here. Yet, understand that I also have to deal with a lot of shit both on and off the forum that you people don't have to, not as much as on my scale. So please understand that me being salty is also a necessary part of my growth, even if you might think that I'm adding to the drama here, I'm actually not. I had a big fight here on April 25, and that got me really emotionally jarred for the first time in 3 years. I hadn't had such a strong emotional reaction, in about a year of being here, as far back in time as I can remember. So there's that. I have to respect my personhood, who I am. I'm not here for a social image. I'm here for growth. And my growth is very chaotic, as you already see. I can be a good person to you if you're being a good person to me without all your shadiness, I don't want to deal with that. I like being "just" and fair which means you need to be nice to me in order for me to be nice to you.

And don't tell me that you (and I mean you who is reading this ) secretly don't read my journal entries because you do, or else why do the views go up. So you're interested in my stuff right? I don't care. If you don't like me, you could tell me straight up front. I don't mind. I have dealt with all these puny games before, it's nothing new.

I'm not the kind of person who goes around praising some people while shading others. I just don't do all that crap.

I'm not journaling here for people to enjoy my writing. I'm here to do my own journaling haha.

On point

@Regan yea that's what I meant. They can't seek validation in a humble person so they treat them shitty.

@Tim R yes

@Regan nah. I wasn't talking about that. The question has been misconstrued probably because of the word jerk. I was talking about someone who is extremely manipulative, sneaky fake and is good at faking empathy and is doing so out of egoic reasons. People are attracted to that... What I have found ( as a common observation ) is that people who are attracted to the manipulative fake types exhibit the following traits and behaviors - they are very insecure - they are weak and sheepish - they can't challenge authority. Ass lick behavior - they are covert narcissists - they don't have a spine - they are not independent emotionally or intellectually - they are foolish - they are attracted to power very easily - they don't have depth of character or substance to their virtues - they are attracted to shallow things

@WonderSeeker I wasn't really talking about spiritual bypassing. I'm saying that both approaches can go hand in hand and be completely integrated to achieve the best outcome I'm not saying using spiritual techniques to get escape or relief from actualization work, but understanding that when someone has a problem they could even have spiritual aspects or reasons contributing to it as well as psychological aspects contributing to it. It's important to address both on an equal level.. Being stuck in either paradigm without switching to the other paradigm is very short sighted and dogmatic and insufficient. I'd say not comprehensive enough..

Maybe I should not have used the word jerk. It's creating a lot of confusion. I don't mean sincere people who are honest but are too blunt. I get that they have an authentic appeal. You got the question all wrong. What I meant is people with a massive ego, being very condescending and selfish. Rude. Not showing humility. Showing a lot of attitude. And how they enjoy more respect than those who are pleasant kind and humble. How humble people are taken for granted and treated like trash but someone who is rude is automatically considered special @Zeroguy read this answer I gave. I didn't agree with @Raphael. That was technical error

Ok I don't know what is happening here. Just a sec. It's getting quoted without allowing me to write.

@hyruga no no no. That's not what I meant by jerks. My definition of jerk in this context is not someone straight forward. Someone who is very up their ass and egotistical. Someone who is subtly condescending, not loud mouth.