Preety_India

Shadow work is different from shadows

Hugs. Red beard lol. The hierarchy games are brutal but you're a strong woman.

@Forestluv I understand your pain and sensitivity. I share similar sentiments. The whole Soonhei incident took an emotional toll on me. I do feel that mods shouldn't be treated as cops but made to understand and resonate with forum members as well. I often felt like mods were an absolute authority on this forum. Also there is a lack of belongingness here. Everyone is left to their own devices. The idea of such a forum in my view should be free discussion and welcoming each other rather than looking for ways to out each other. I don't like how Leo doesn't organise meetings. It shows a lack of trust. In general I felt like mods were very secretive here. You have contributed a lot to this forum and I always enjoy reading your posts. They are very objective, a quality I admire in people.

When despair grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my past lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting for their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free I'm truly free

@Gianna yea that can be a problem I can see how it can create unnecessary psychological diagnosis. Don't listen to her content in that case . There are lots of random YouTube channels that can be super helpful. Keep exploring.

@Gianna girl, I'd say don't listen to Teal Swan for the time being. Her content can be good but kinda intense for newbies. Listen to less famous YouTube content where it's just random person talking about stuff that relates to your life by typing your questions into YouTube. Love and hugs to you.

After which I saw that Leo had opened a new thread. In which he expressed his desire that people who don't get along or are chronic naysayers should leave. I immediately knew something was up. Because such a thread was never made before. I immediately felt like the whole forum was in danger. What had happened? A place that was helping people was suddenly facing a huge threat from the outside. Obviously I knew what that threat was. It was Adeptus video We on the forum give attention to people who say that they are suicidal. We tend to talk them down from suicide. What happened this time? Most people had zero clue that the guy Soonhei was planning to Suicide. It all happened so quick. There was no way anyone could have helped him if they didn't know he was going to do the unthinkable. So there was a collective feeling of survivor's guilt and regret over not being able to save his life At the same time the grief of his death. It was all too much And in this vulnerable moment, at the most horrible timing comes a video that holds the entire community responsible for the Suicide. It felt like a giant stab. It felt like immense exploitation of a vulnerable situation. People who are completely innocent. Who had chats with Soonhei. Who never meant any harm. Who wanted only good for him. Suddenly having to face the reality that they were communicating with someone who was suddenly going to disappear from the planet. This must have been hard that you talk to someone happily and next day they are gone forever. This must have been traumatizing . And on top dealing with the blame that you contributed to his suicide. I saw it as double trauma. I also felt like making a video soon after the news of the suicide broke out was very uncharitable and exploitative. Maybe he could have waited a few days before making the video till things calmed down on the forum. So all of this precipitated into me being extremely triggered by the video being released at such a vulnerable point in time . So I went to the Adeptus channel and told him that his video was pure slander. Instead of giving a fair argument or feedback I felt gaslighted and attacked for being a forum member and calling the forum a cult. When I said it's not a cult, things escalated quickly into a long back and forth of attacks. Finally I left his comment section. But yea there was sufficient ground for a trigger.

Some of the things that I want to get off my chest. My fight with Adeptus. What triggered it ? What caused it ? First of all, I was in a very vulnerable emotional and wounded state at the time of talking to him. I had learned about the forum suicide and I was very depressed. I contemplated it throughout the night and didn't sleep very well. When I woke up I saw the thread and Leo's comment on the video.. Something told me about the nature of the comment that Leo was very angry. He immediately locked the thread just when I was commenting. I knew something was not right. I had watched the Adeptus video and I was very pissed off by how claims were made that the forum members were responsible for the suicide.

People have had their entire lives transformed in unbelievably positive ways by these teachings. This is well documented across multiple platforms. They are reacting against this so strongly because they've been personally helped so much by what has been taught in likely most cases. If these teachings are lost due to misrepresentation and misunderstanding, a lot of peoples lives might suffer as a result in the future. That's how I see it. A lot of the forum members are triggered and emotional right now We lost a positive member of our community and are also being painted in a light which is not the complete story. I'm sure you would feel like reacting strongly at some point if something of immense personal value to you was being degraded due to an unfortunate tragedy which goes directly against what has been explicitly taught or stated many times (not to harm the body and to cherish and improve ones earthly life).

I felt very very bad for whatever happened to Soonhei. Some people just don't get it

Sometimes I wonder what is the most that is going to happen even if I died ? My family doesn't want me. I broke up with all my lovers. There was nothing to be happy about with them. Even this forum doesn't want me. Kinda bleak.

I have realised in the past few days when I was having intense contemplations on the nature of death, I felt like death was a process of transcendence. I had been thinking about acceptance. And now the next stage after acceptance was transcendene. Honestly nothing felt more liberating than this.

Getting screwed over? I mean how does it feel ?

Do you really become a part of the system when you follow the system and do you also become a part of the system when you go against the system?

Is there anything good in going against corruption and injustices?

I need to integrate more elements into this character.

This is a new character in my book. A guy who I consider to be my closest friend. Reminds me a of a guy friend I had a couple of years ago.

Shadow work is simply becoming aware of what's hidden and gradually healing those aspects of yourself. When you start shadow work, you may feel the way you felt as a child when you were forced to suppress those emotions. But once you overcome it, it may open your eyes to a whole new side of you you had no idea existed.

@Derek White you have been warned before for attacking me Please stop your smear campaign against me If you don't like my comments you have the ignore option . If I don't like someone's comments I simply ignore them . Stop harassing me with your constant bias. I have expressed my opinions in this thread. That's not called spamming You have harassed me on the forum by making personal attacks on me even before. You're doing it once again I have refrained from talking to you. Why are you again trying to drag me into this I'm not here to impress you So if you don't like me, then it's not my problem or the mods problem. Stop engaging in personal attacks. You have been warned before. stop using this thread as an opportunity to make personal attacks against me.

Today was such a difficult day. Because I had to defend this whole organization against a YouTuber who was literally destroying the reputation of this place

@Leo Gura yea you need to do this very very strictly. Remove people who slander your work It affects your work and in turn it affects my work and the work of other Actualizers. I support you in your decision.

We didn't carry out a survey to know that. Your assumption is simply your assumption. And also because majority doesn't like or want doesn't mean a suggestion is a bad suggestion. This is not a majority minority social game. Stop isolating people for having a different opinion.

What the hell are you even talking about? Did you just invent your own bullshit? Your insecurity shows.

@Zeroguy maybe take your own advice instead of causing drama.

That was my exact point. Not to be a shrink but still be able to help. Read the post again if you didn't get it.