Preety_India

I think I have dealt with the element of obsession all my life. So nothing new for me. Most of my ex boyfriends showed obsession with me, I had to break up because of that. Now I have gotten used to it. I simply surrender to it. That way I have better peace of mind.

I feel good reading his letter. He was being supportive. The fact that he wanted me to share things. That's nice. It gives me a feeling of strength and security. Reading his letters like.

One of his letters - Hey, I hope you're doing well. I was near your building yesterday. Was thinking about you. I want to hold you. My heart aches every time I think about you. We could sit by the lake and hold hands. Want to feel your fingers touching my cheeks. I know last time you told you were going through a tough time with your family. My advice is you need to be tough in this situation. I'm always here for you whenever you need me. I get obsessive thoughts about you. Sometimes I can't sleep. Thanks for writing to me. Your letter touched me. Please don't cry. I am here. You have always been so sweet and tender. I can't see you crying. You can share your pain with me. I wish I could simply hold you and squeeze your hands. You told me about a guy you like. I don't really mind it. Maybe I can be the lucky guy. I wish things go well. I just want you feeling calm. I will never hurt you, you have nothing to worry.

Not sure what he wants out of me. But if he was sitting in front of me right now, I would have given him a sexy tease. His name is Zane( actual name not revealed)

This got a completely different meaning

Last week he wrote me a couple of letters that he delivered at once. They were all short Letters. He is copying my style. I wrote him a couple of short letters a week before he wrote. This is my favorite dance move. He better learn some moves. In his hoodie lol.

He puts letters in my mailbox. It's easy for him because he lives a couple of blocks away. I'm not sure of his address. He simply walks to my mailbox during the day and drops a letter anytime during the week. I usually collect it at the end of each week. I drop my letter in the same mailbox, that is my mailbox and he collects my letter the next time around he comes to drop his. I have to take the elevator down 5 floors to get to the mailbox which is at a short distance away from my apartment within the apartment complex. The apartment grounds are peaceful at night and that's when I walk to the mailbox. Last month I saw a bunch of roses in my mailbox Maybe he wants to tie me up and give me a long lecture on love and romance. He is perfect for that. He could talk to me for hours and not bore me.

Eastern/ spiritual /emotional /physical (yoga) forms of therapy

This journal will be a collection of spiritual practices from all around the world. Will add a few of my own inventions as well.

Key 3 Always do a cost benefit risk analysis in life.

Key 2 Don't settle for something unproductive, useless, toxic, instead learn to be without.

Key 1 Don't talk to narcissists.

The devil tells me I'm his favorite.

Those are some points to consider.

Whenever I think bad about him, it's not good for my mental health. I feel agitated and those days I suffer nightmares. I did give him police threats a few years ago and his general response is to slow down his actions, disappear for few weeks and reappear again. I don't give him any police threats anymore. I have made peace with him recently.

Over the past 6 months, I have realized that he is not as bad as I first felt. He never harmed me. I used to feel scared as a kid and even as an adult I did suffer from trauma because of his thoughts for a significant amount of time.. Yet he never presented any threat in so many years. He has mostly been chill. He is just too curious about me. Over the last few years I have softened with him and I don't suffer the same trauma anymore. I mean trauma related to him. It's like forgiving a rapist. But that would be extreme since he never did anything close to that ever. I think he has many pictures of me because I remember he would always use his phone and take pictures of me if I was sitting in some park or simply going for a walk. I used to frequently go for an evening walk in this lonely place in the dark, its a lonely stretch of path that runs through some bushes and no one lives there really and this place is pretty lonely surrounded by trees and shrubs. It's left without maintenance. It feels like you're walking through ruins. And I usually wear a thick jacket whenever I go there, it's so cold in that place, I never see an animal, a cat or a dog or squirrel, just nothing. A lonely stretch. I feel when I walk on that stretch,its quite long and as you walk further down, you'll see thick woods, I never entered the woods for the fear of dangerous animals or who knows what. In the night, I hear growling from that place, so there must be foxes and other animals there. I just use the stretch for walking.

I don't think I have romantic feelings for him, but who knows. He looks average. I don't think much of his looks. He is quite tall. I really feel like there's a building behind me when I'm walking if he is walking behind me. He usually wears a hoodie. He prefers dark colors. I came across this picture today and it reminds me of him. He always has the hoodie look.

I have come to a point where I have forgiven him. I write letters to him now. We communicate sometimes. He usually keeps a tight watch on whatever I do. I have gotten to know him over the years, a little bit. He knows an awful lot about me. So I really don't have to tell him much because he already knows a lot of stuff. He lives in my place. A couple of years ago, he used to stalk me to my workplace. Like follow me. He knew my work hours. He knew my house. He knew my family. He is my age. He used to be in my school. For some reason his parents removed him from my school and admitted him to another school nearby. Even as a kid he used to look at me, stare at me in the streets. He was a cute kid, not gonna lie. He had an innocent face when he was a kid.

I saw him a couple of years ago. I saw him yesterday again. He had a blue shirt on. When he looks at me, he looks straight at me. I have no idea what he wants. Maybe he simply wants to talk to me.

Love is healing.

You should follow a balanced form of survival. Not too high. Hyper survival. Not too low.. Self abandonment Moderate balanced survival. On the spiritual path you have two things to consider One is being selfless and rejecting the materialistic animal survival. And the other is having space for self love. Not Self love in a selfish way, but in a self care way. Love is synonymous with healing. The more love you have the more healing you'll have.

Nihilism Detachment Organic Survival Revolutionaries The frustration of not being able to change things Universal body of ethics Global human stupidity. Ethical pattern of the universe You should try to change the world when you are already the largest tree.

Umbrella - emotional lectures.

We want to do the best for those who we think belong to our community.

Emotional library (going to be writing about this as well)