Preety_India

Appreciate your hard work and dedication.

Let me know what kind of songs you generally prefer covering and I gather them for you You have a great voice. Don't worry about your clothing or anything else. Your camera and set up is impeccable for a newbie.. Just focus on hardcore practice. Practice covering a ton of songs and same songs again and again. Here is another one for you to cover.

I am a huge fan of Sarah McLachlan I think her song Delirium Silence was one of my favorites, been a long time since I heard that one. It has a trance Buddhist vibe to it. I thought about this song for your next cover. Bryan Adams. Everything I do, I do it for you It kinda matches your style if you are into soft rock

@Leo Gura And I remember you telling me to get rid of that boyfriend. You told me at least three times to get away from him. This was 2 years ago on this forum. You might not remember it. I'm eternally grateful to you for coaxing me out of that terrible relationship. It was a huge relief and a big lesson. Now I'm quite happy. So thank you.

My first post on this forum was about me seeking help for my ex boyfriend fat shaming me. The ironic part is that I'm not fat and I had gained a few pounds in the relationship mostly because of his emotional abuse. And he began fat shaming me and that caused me to indulge in comfort eating even more. I began to perceive myself as fat even when I wasn't fat Nobody had ever called me fat before. When I asked my ex if he really thought I was fat, he said no. He later told me that that was a tactic he was using to upset me because he knew that calling a girl fat would really trigger her to the highest level. If we had any arguments his way of winning was to call me fat and make me cry. Especially if he was failing at the argument. It took a lot of time for me to get over the trauma of being labeled as fat.

Always check your emotional state from time to time throughout the day. Slowly you train your mind to do it.

People who are addicted to emotions generally suffer cardiac issues over time. (im already suffering some cardiac issues) I was addicted to emotions all my life. After I suffered dizziness, my doctor advised me to calm my emotional states. Now I try to balance my emotional responses. My emotional range is higher than average You need self control. Try to engage in 3 types of states that are emotionally light - Romantic/sexual, happy, and peaceful. These ranges generally are more healing than disturbing. Sadness, anger, pity, self harm, confusion are the most unhealthy emotional states where they can almost destroy your peace of mind. Notice whenever you are in such a state. Immediately throw such states out of your system. They are needed only for occasions not all the time Self harm is a pretty heavy generally. Learn to keep your emotional state and frequency at optimal range. Within limits. Its like how you manage food intake. Your emotional state should be either happy, upbeat, loving, romantic, sexual, peaceful, calm, rhythmic. Etc. And your emotional frequency is the level to which you experience these states. Not too deep and not too light. For example if you listen to calm music all day long, it's not good because it is declining heart rate to a level that is unhealthy. So your frequency should be moderate and balanced, neither too much nor too little. Similarly with masturbating. If you do too much, it will get you tired and dizzy. Everything has to be moderate. You have to slowly fine tune your frequency and adjust.

I never had anger issues growing up. I was extremely calm. But my mother caused me to suffer to a point where anger became my second nature. Most of my Rage is PTSD rage Maybe I think what I need is not silly rage at my level of mental development. I need conscious rage. So I have to be careful to transmute it to motivate me to do work or fight rather than simply exhaust myself with useless rage I made massive changes spiritually in last 2 years of 26000 posts

Don't try to listen to them in a row or back to back. Emotional songs can be bad for mental health sometimes because getting too emotional can impact heart. So emotion whether it's heavy or sad or romantic, all are slightly harmful to a degree. I have had dizziness when I got too emotional. So I don't do a lot. If I get too emotional I take a break and go for a walk to get the emotion out and calm it. Any emotion activates sympathetic nervous system which is not good for heart eventually. People who are emotional are prone to heart attacks like my father. So the only thing that doesn't impact the heart is restful peaceful calm non emotional songs or neutral light happy songs or deep calm songs. Emotions are also like exercise If you do too much your brain and heart can have a breakdown. I have been through plenty of breakdowns at your age. So now i listen to mostly calm non emotional music.

Understanding Appreciation Openness No drama No victim playing No 3rd party (triangulation) Respect for needs and space Emotional Maturity and EQ Respect for boundaries - no violation of boundaries. No control - the person should not control you Mutual growth and freedom and support. No propensity for gossip No negativity (constant negative talk is dangerous) Unhealthy stalkerish obsession (look for such signs) Positivity. Humour, fun, games Mutual activity. (good friends and partners do things mutually) shared activities. Trust No constant criticism (you cannot have a healthy relationship with a constant criticizer)

English No problem German Kein problem

. Add notes later.

Learning German.

The self destructive. Drama creators. Egotistical. Selfish and self serving. Takes a toll on your self worth The gossiper The envious . The whiner The criticizer.

I think because of my mom and my experiences handling her terrible behavior, I developed a lot of emotional resilience which was very much exploited in my last relationship. My patience was taken for granted all the time. If you're happy with a relationship then you're simply happy. If you're trying to cope with a relationship, well then that's not a relationship. It's destructive

Understanding Appreciation Openness No drama No victim playing No 3rd party (triangulation) Respect for needs and space Emotional Maturity and EQ Respect for boundaries - no violation of boundaries. No control - the person should not control you Mutual growth and freedom and support. No propensity for gossip No negativity (constant negative talk is dangerous) Unhealthy stalkerish obsession (look for such signs) Positivity. Humour, fun, games Mutual activity. (good friends and partners do things mutually) shared activities.

It wouldn't be an understatement to say that I had exhibited extreme patience while dealing with my mother. But it all came with a huge price. I suffered both physically and mentally The only reason I ever put up with her is because she is my mom Over the years I have learned to forgive her, although it's difficult. . My father's death/passing is a constant reminder or how toxic she was and how much of her toxicity ruined our family. She is also NPD along with being bipolar. So i suffered narcissistic abuse for the majority of my life with her It was always like walking on egg shells around her. I remember as a teen my hands would tremble really bad if I had to hold a glass of water and if she was around. She had cultivated massive anxiety in me because of her narcissistic abuse.. Much of my self esteem and boundary issues directly stem from being subjected to narcissistic abuse throughout my formative years. Today whatever health issues I have, they're directly because of her.

The last point about negativity is a huge deal.. Being around a negative person is an absolute nightmare. Case in point is my mother. I did not hear her say one positive thing in years. For example I could be having coffee with her and she will start talking about rape. And I'll be like No - "early in the morning, I want to enjoy my coffee and not have to hear about rape in the news." Or we could be sitting at a park and she will start gossiping about neighbors. I will be like "stop." Whatever comes out of her mouth whether it's gossip, news, negativity about my dead father, complaining, whining, there's nothing that comes out of her which has any positive value or constructive /productive nature to it. Every thing that comes out of her mouth is dipped in negativity Like if I said I want to try a new hobby, her reply would be something cynical like "don't kid yourself, you can't do that" And in situations of emotional abuse she could get extremely abusive like verbally abusive like "you're a loser", "you're this or you're that" It's tough to be around her. I cannot think of even a single interaction in more than 5 years that I would consider as "positive" or "happy" or "cheerful ' My mother has Bipolar for more than 2 decades and her bipolar is extremely difficult to deal with. She is taking treatment but it doesn't really help. Being around a Bipolar disordered person can be a nightmare to live with depending on the severity of their behavior. When she is manic, she gets violent and I had to be at the receiving end of her violence many many times. Bipolar people start drama for nothing. Bipolar people don't respect boundaries. I don't have much respect left for her anyway unless she invests seriously into healing.. Her behavior caused massive losses to the family. My father started suffering health problems early on because of her. I suffered anxiety because of her constant abusive behavior and violence. Living with her was like living in absolute hell. From my personal experience, living with a bipolar person can be extremely dangerous to health, not to mention stressful.

Degree of obsession. If your partner or friend is unhealthily obsessed with you, watch out for those signs.

Understanding Appreciation Openness No drama No victim playing No 3rd party (triangulation) Respect for needs and space Emotional Maturity and EQ Respect for boundaries - no violation of boundaries. No control - the person should not control you Mutual growth and freedom and support. No propensity for gossip No negativity (constant negative talk is dangerous)

Understanding Appreciation Openness No drama No victim playing No 3rd party (triangulation) Respect for needs and space Emotional Maturity and EQ Respect for boundaries - no violation of boundaries. No control - the person should not control you Mutual growth and freedom and support. No propensity for gossip No negativity (constant negative talk is dangerous) In a healthy friendship there's little space for gossip.

3rd party triangulation was a very common phenomenon I experienced in my 3rd relationship with Joseph. He used to always bring another woman in the relationship and make me compete with her for his attention. The bullying and emotional abuse in that relationship was massive. If it weren't a woman, Joseph would set me up to fight with his family. And when his family didn't react well, blame would be placed on me. This is clear cut narcissistic triangulation which is a hallmark sign of narcissistic abuse in relationships. It's a way of control through a third party.

So here's a compiled list for interpersonal relationships building that can be used as a handy checklist. Understanding Appreciation Openness No drama No victim playing No 3rd party (triangulation) Respect for needs and space Emotional Maturity and EQ Respect for boundaries - no violation of boundaries. No control - the person should not control you Mutual growth, freedom and support

3 other things that I can add to the list are No drama (there shouldn't be drama in interpersonal relationship) No victim playing No 3rd party triangulation (one of the most common culprits in relationships and the biggest indicator of narcissistic tendency involved in your partner/friend etc) you already set the boundary that the relationship will always be one on one. Respect for needs and space Victim playing is what my second ex used to do a lot He would accuse of things I never did solely to play victim and make me feel guilty.