Preety_India

Now that I'm out of it, it feels really good. This is one of the changes I went through. Going to be writing about other changes I went through

Right now I'm suffering a flu. And psychic attacks are the last thing I want to think of. .. Maybe some fine day, I might recollect whatever I went through and write a thread on it.

Same here. It is so annoying. Drinking citrus juice helps.

So Yea this whole thing began to unravel somewhere in late 2018 and early 2019..I was discussing the Amber Guyger case with Joseph and he wasn't paying much attention. He was very dismissive about it, happy that she got 10.years..he was more like — what else do you want? That hurt a little. Because I didn't expect that from him as a white man. I expected more empathy. I did not like the fact that Amber was sentenced to 10 years out of which a few years could be easily pardoned off on good behavior and other silly reasons I found this to be a miscarriage of justice. A man had lost his life and only 10 years? That looked like a joke. And the white and black race dynamics once again came to the forefront. I felt awful at the time. This was my wakeup call. It was time for my conscience to wake up and accept the reality of racism that I had denied for so long. I had been brainwashed to believe that racism was an invented term, an invented phenomenon. Not a real thing. And here I was seeing for the first time in real time how racism impacted the lives of people. This hurt like hell. I cried a lot over many days. I felt like hell. All of my guilt was coming up. I saw through my own biases and prejudices. That was a moment of awakening. I could understand the gravity of racism for the first time. That day I gave up on all the things I was brainwashed with, I gave up all those biases and notions that toxic guy had taught me. I felt liberated and free. I felt a new sense of gratitude for knowing the truth and for abandoning closed minded beliefs.

Update 3 January 2, 2022 My nose was bleeding a few hours ago. My condition is still bad. I woke up in the middle of the night because of a stuffed nose

Talk to more women.

Love this bro. You do some great stuff.

I have suffered psychic attacks before but I wasn't on LSD. I thought the subject of psychic attacks was too alien for this forum. I thought people would call me crazy if I shared my experiences.

No meditation for the last 10 days. Been suffering from flu. Before that I used to meditate for 10 minutes barely.

Arnold Schwarzenegger worked very hard. He was always back.

Isn't this forum already stage orange? Any more talk about stage Orange and I'll....

@Gregory1 good job.

@Gregory1 hey bro thats not allowed on the forum. I mean you cannot use Leo's profile pic. You will get warnings lol. Change it before its too late. Good move though. (secretly giggles). Mods no need to give warnings, he is just being silly.

Lmao you should have given this answer long ago. Much time would have been saved that way. You always come to the point in the end.

@Gregory1 bro check your profile picture. Something wrong with it

I don't think that developing through stages is necessarily an ego thing. I never saw it as getting brownie points for the ego. I saw it as a process of inculcating different perspectives at every stage, more like learning different languages. So the language at Red is different from the language of Green. Yet both languages are equally unique and equally valid. So I can't say stage Red is not necessary in life. I really do feel like I'm moving forward the more I think about higher stages. I don't see progress or "progression through" as an ego thing necessarily. For example if I learned the Greek language and I barely know a few words, I would call it the initial stage. Now wanting to progress in learning Greek is more of a pursuit, curiosity, exploration and honing of a skill and might have absolutely nothing to do with ego. You could be doing it because you are passionate to learn Greek, not because you are showing off to anyone that you know Greek. Also I never felt that if I progressed through stages, I would reach some form of enlightenment. In fact the opposite happened. The more I thought about higher stages, the less I resonated with the idea of enlightenment. It looked too idealistic to me. It's like I didn't want to be at stage Coral or stage Turquoise because it didn't resonate in a practical sense, felt like it's impossible to think like the people who think at these stages. And enlightenment was never the final goal to begin with. The final goal was to incorporate all stages in little doses and use all of them in different situations in life. I have never believed in the concept of Enlightenment.. I'm not sure about many of the folks here, because lot of the folks here talk about non duality and enlightenment. That didn't make any sense to me. I come from the duality perspective sans enlightenment. I'm not sure if you're aware of the person called rali from naked reality. He used to come here a lot couple of years ago and used to constantly challenge Leo on different things. He was not the one to believe in Enlightenment or at least he wasn't very convinced of it. Leo kinda banned him I guess. He was kinda dogmatic. But I liked his perspective where he didn't believe in enlightenment and felt it was just a concept. Also I don't think he was too interested in the non dual perspective either. I think that a lot of people are so influenced by the non dual perspective on this forum that they hardly think of the dual one. They simply forget it or consider it as non spiritual.. Remember spirituality is like a crossroads and there are many ways to get there. There cannot be a single way defined as the correct way, that would be too dogmatic and completely locked to the paradigm of duality. This sounds more like spiritual dogmatism rather than the Openness to consider all perspectives, dual and non dual. To me the non dual never made any sense, felt like it's another illusion. Does it mean that I can't be spiritual, just because I don't invest in non dual, well, that would be incredibly narrow minded to automatically assume that only non duality is the ultimate truth. Nope. I don't think that way, I look at them as different schools of spirituality, nothing more, nothing less. But this forum has some dogma of non duality, they consider it the holy grail, which is befuddling to me. Maybe it's the non dual perspective that is causing people to associate everything with the ego .. I personally don't think that spirituality has anything to do with the ego, I see it as a path towards Liberation and higher wisdom that helps live a better life and purification for the soul /karma etc. So all this talk about ego doesn't register in my head at all, it looks foolish and distracting, all the spiritual ego battling in the meditation section looks like a ego gimmick rather than actual focus on spirituality, in fact I believed that people who are highly spiritual would have the least ego because they would find ego battles foolish and distracting, which is never proved by this forum, it's always about the ego here, one of the reasons why I never feel like I fit in here, also I feel weird about the whole spiritual ego thing, because that simply doesn't make sense to me at all, this forum does the opposite and defeats it's own purpose, instead of deflating the ego and being more spirituality oriented, it constantly defeats spirituality and becomes more ego oriented and also encourages other people to take up that. I find it very silly and anyone who is truly interested in spiritual growth will find this place very uncomfortable, weird and funny, my own research into spirituality over the years { I almost spent 3 years in it rigorously}, has helped me far far more than this forum, in fact this forum would have sidelined me and thrown me off from my actual work/journey had I strictly followed the forum. Lucky me because I never took the forum too seriously, especially the meditation section, I used to sit back and laugh at all the threads in the meditation section, because all I see is some dumbfuckery ego game there, and I'm clever enough to avoid being brainwashed by this forum (for that a big pat on my back, at least one thing I didn't allow to be brainwashed by in my life and that is this forum, usually I get brainwashed a lot easily, but I'm too strict about spiritual matters so I pulled out all stops and decided to never listen to anyone but my gut instinct on spiritual matters and sweet is the fruit of my decisions and hard earned labor, I'm so happy I didn't get suckered into the ego game of the forum, in that regard I'm almost like the doge Meme of the forum because I sit in the background and watch the meditation section and laugh.) It doesn't even look stage Green to me, if I had a name for it, I would prefer to call it stage Foolish .. Because that's what it seems to me. Not trying to be mean, just being critical of how real spiritual stuff gets distorted here. To me real spirituality is self growth, it's really a private thing, not meant for public chest thumping and chimpery, I see real spiritual growth as becoming more authentic in life, being more aligned with what you truly want, not lying to oneself, seeking the needs of the spirit, understanding the illusory nature of the world and being free from it, investing less in materialism, being more heart aligned, accepting harsh physical truths, and improving one's shadows and biases ingrained by the social structure and being able to get rid of anything that conflicts the conscience, waking up of the conscience, dropping old rigid unhelpful beliefs that create chaos and hate, thinking and becoming more love centric, following the spiritual path despite societal odds and obstacles and staying true to that path amid spiritual challenges throughout life. I see this as spirituality and I never see this being reflected on the forum, instead I see ego games like spiritual dick measuring contest and no real ambition to be spiritual, a hyper masculine approach in deciding who is better than who, I find this not aligned to my thought, antithetical to my approach to spirituality and utterly disgusting If not downright foolish. Sorry if I came across as very critical.

How do you know that? Aren't there stages in consciousness? I'm a bit confused. Can you explain?

Good for you.

Yup. My own experience resonates with this.

That doesn't make any sense. Most younger people are green, the young generation culture is far more liberal. It's the older generation that is orange and is more conservative approach to life. Haha. People tend to be more emotional when they're young and also tend to feel than think. As they age, they learn more about life and become progressively more logical since they learn to interpret more with experience, facts and thoughts and less with feelings. We see young teens making mistakes out of emotional decisions because they tend to think less and are driven more by silly emotions and instincts. Older people are much more thought and facts oriented due to wisdom. Your post was kinda totally reverse of what actually happens. It's younger people who are consistently shamed for being too emotional over little things. Because they take everything emotionally out of naivete. In fact it's easier to be stage Green at younger age because you feel like a kid with no real responsibility and maturity, so it's the airy fairy stage of life where it's easier to hold values of liberty, freedom, idealism, feminization, feelings over facts. It's the older generation that is less feminized and thinks in masculine ways and the younger generation is more feminized and that's why we have the phenomenon where young generation guys act more girly than old generation men at the same age in their times. With more responsibility and maturity, there is less feminization. If you mean emotional maturity, well that's more like general maturity and nothing to do with spiral dynamics. More of a cognitive thing rather than spiral dynamics. Attaining emotional maturity is like attaining puberty, it's a stage in life, not a stage in spiral dynamics. The forum is more stage orange and this has to do with the fact that masculinity is given a higher preference over femininity here. Since majority is male and male oriented thinking.. Stage Green is more feminine, less masculine..

You can't predict the future. Nobody really can. And if things are negative overall, they can be positive for you. We our affected by our own actions most of the time and much less by the happenings of the world.

Lol.

Have you ever been sexual? You're shaming sex. This could be cultural /religious or morality based. It's important to have morals but you need to place limits so doesn't cause you to have hangups around sex. People are usually confused when they mix sex and morals. It's important to have a healthy boundary Loose boundaries can make a person deviant. Tight boundaries can make a person like a catholic nun. You have to find the healthy middle. If you're looking for a date, it's important to have a healthy sexual attitude not skewed on either side of the pendulum. You might be suffering from low sex drive and sexual repression. If you want to be in a relationship in the future, you might want to work on this. Seek therapy for sexual traumas Go out. Have sex. Liberate yourself from repression. Don't judge others harshly. Absolutely nothing wrong with normal sex, it's simply biological. There's not much to it anyway. It's like the desire for food etc. Work on your hangups and get rid of judgements. They won't help you.

Update 2 January 1 2022. I still feel a bit nauseous and my throat pain didn't go away. I don't know how long this is going to continue but it's exhausting me. I feel so tired all the time. I'm trying to jack up my immunity. I'm eating fruits and drinking soups. My nose is so tired and sore and red from all the blowing. I cannot look at myself in the mirror because I'm looking like a zombie with a red nose. I'm constantly sneezing and coughing. It's almost taking the life out of me. I'm chilling watching movies and some stuff on YouTube to pass away time. I'm bedridden for nearly 5 days in a row. I wish I could be active. I could do some gardening and artwork if I felt active enough.

I just love lemur memes sometimes. This is the no thanks lemur Meme. I don't know but I always relate to it so much. Especially when someone praises me too much, I'm like what?? When was I considered a good person? You must be kidding me bro.. I'm like — bruh, staph, chill out. My bullshit meter is peaking right now. I especially love this bruh Meme. Like bruh?! Chill. Chill man chill. This one was cool. And I love this one a lot. Discovered a few days ago. I like it so much that I want it to be tagged in every post. It makes me laugh every time I look at it. It screams the chill vibe so effortlessly. It's like being funny when you're not even trying.