Preety_India

But what happens when you consistently make bad choices and decisions in life? Like I made many bad decisions in life. It reached a point where I asked myself -" why I can't do things right?" My peers never made such mistakes. They're living comfortable lives meanwhile I'm dealing with all the damage from my past mistakes. So I began to question my intelligence. I was always slower than my peers in most things. I was always got duped wherever I went, whether it was my job or relationships. I got duped many times, even financially. That made me wonder if I need to take personal responsibility for such occurrences and realize that I might be a bit naive to easily trust others and not prioritize myself. It's almost like I always needed a coach to tell me what to do. I mean we do come across naive gullible people in life, this is just a fact of life, if you look around, not everyone becomes a victim of a crime, not everyone joins a cult. But the people who are most likely to become victims of anything in life are the most gullible, naive people who lack critical reasoning and intelligence to question things, skills needed to make quick self protective decisions that are necessary in most survival oriented situations.. So yea I clearly see that some people are clever and smarter than others whereas people like me are very prone to making mistakes, being silly, acting stupid, being immature, not having the skill to make the right decision, gullibility, always messing up and ending up in some trouble out of being duped. This shit bothers me because I have suffered so much harm and damage due to constantly acting naive and dumb that it has made me to think that something needs to change, something needs to be done so that I don't end up with the same pattern in the future.

Thank you so much.

Your anxiety is responsible for those kind of dreams. Heal your anxiety. Lion chasing you is an indication that you are running away from reality or some situation that is creating insecurity/uncertainty in you. Do shadow work and resolve that situation. I had such dreams for many years and I suffer anxiety. There is nothing metaphysical here. You have massive work to do

I struggle a lot with this. Hehe. But over time I have gotten better. One thing I would recommend is to be as nerdy as possible and make multiple copies of different responses on a word pad. Then choose or combine these responses to perfect your answer. Leo seems to have a natural ability of answering with precision and tact. His explanatory skills are perfect. I think it took him time to be able to do that. I try to observe Leo's answers and see how I can answer similarly. But it's kinda hard to do that since it's a natural skill to some extent. Try to respond as much as possible and sometimes copy other's responses and repeat them yourself. That way you keep gathering clues on how to respond tactfully.

Lololololol. I know you lol. Won't say much but I only wish to help you. You better take care though. And no suicide, okay!

@Judy2 Aww. Made me so happy. I was in a good mood today so took a picture of myself and uploaded. Hehe. Thank you for the compliments.

Please don't be offended. If I'm trying to be honest with you, it's only for your own good. There is zero benefit for me. Based on my interaction with you, you're highly intelligent individual yet it seems you're a bit emotionally unstable. In such a situation, LSD is not a safe option for you, or any other psychedelic for that matter. Just a suggestion. Of course the final choice is yours.

Thank you for the encouraging words. Sometimes I have to remind myself that a family member's opinion shouldn't matter.

Did I set aside time for myself today? Maybe a bit. Not too much. Definitely not two hours. The goal is to steer myself towards "self focus" as much as possible and train my brain for it. Quote Emotions part 1

This is so hard for me to do. Holding on to this thought that I deserve.

Based on my interaction with you - NO.

Cool and relaxing.

@Hugo Oliveira yes the avatar photo is me. Thanks for the kind words.

I can't believe anything he says because he does a lot of gimmicky things for views or subscribers.

@Contrast Thank you.

50 Types of Common Cognitive Biases Fundamental Attribution Error: We judge others on their personality or fundamental character, but we judge ourselves on the situation. Self-Serving Bias: Our failures are situational, but our successes are our responsibility. In-Group Favoritism: We favor people who are in our in-group as opposed to an out-group. Bandwagon Effect: Ideas, fads, and beliefs grow as more people adopt them. Groupthink: Due to a desire for conformity and harmony in the group, we make irrational decisions, often to minimize conflict. Halo Effect: If you see a person as having a positive trait, that positive impression will spill over into their other traits. (This also works for negative traits.) Moral Luck: Better moral standing happens due to a positive outcome; worse moral standing happens due to a negative outcome. False Consensus: We believe more people agree with us than is actually the case. Curse of Knowledge: Once we know something, we assume everyone else knows it, too. Spotlight Effect: We overestimate how much people are paying attention to our behavior and appearance. Availability Heuristic: We rely on immediate examples that come to mind while making judgments. Defensive Attribution: As a witness who secretly fears being vulnerable to a serious mishap, we will blame the victim less if we relate to the victim. Just-World Hypothesis: We tend to believe the world is just; therefore, we assume acts of injustice are deserved. Naïve Realism: We believe that we observe objective reality and that other people are irrational, uninformed, or biased. Naïve Cynicism: We believe that we observe objective reality and that other people have a higher egocentric bias than they actually do in their intentions/actions. Forer Effect (aka Barnum Effect): We easily attribute our personalities to vague statements, even if they can apply to a wide range of people. Dunning-Kruger Effect: The less you know, the more confident you are. The more you know, the less confident you are. Anchoring: We rely heavily on the first piece of information introduced when making decisions. Automation Bias: We rely on automated systems, sometimes trusting too much in the automated correction of actually correct decisions. Google Effect (aka Digital Amnesia): We tend to forget information that’s easily looked up in search engines. Reactance: We do the opposite of what we’re told, especially when we perceive threats to personal freedoms. Confirmation Bias: We tend to find and remember information that confirms our perceptions. Backfire Effect: Disproving evidence sometimes has the unwarranted effect of confirming our beliefs. Third-Person Effect: We believe that others are more affected by mass media consumption than we ourselves are. Belief Bias: We judge an argument’s strength not by how strongly it supports the conclusion but how plausible the conclusion is in our own minds. Availability Cascade: Tied to our need for social acceptance, collective beliefs gain more plausibility through public repetition. Declinism: We tent to romanticize the past and view the future negatively, believing that societies/institutions are by and large in decline. Status Quo Bias: We tend to prefer things to stay the same; changes from the baseline are considered to be a loss. Sunk Cost Fallacy (aka Escalation of Commitment): We invest more in things that have cost us something rather than altering our investments, even if we face negative outcomes. Gambler’s Fallacy: We think future possibilities are affected by past events. Zero-Risk Bias: We prefer to reduce small risks to zero, even if we can reduce more risk overall with another option. Framing Effect: We often draw different conclusions from the same information depending on how it’s presented. Stereotyping: We adopt generalized beliefs that members of a group will have certain characteristics, despite not having information about the individual. Outgroup Homogeneity Bias: We perceive out-group members as homogeneous and our own in-groups as more diverse. Authority Bias: We trust and are more often influenced by the opinions of authority figures. Placebo Effect: If we believe a treatment will work, it often will have a small physiological effect. Survivorship Bias: We tend to focus on those things that survived a process and overlook ones that failed. Tachypsychia: Our perceptions of time shift depending on trauma, drug use, and physical exertion. Law of Triviality (aka “Bike-Shedding”): We give disproportionate weight to trivial issues, often while avoiding more complex issues. Zeigarnik Effect: We remember incomplete tasks more than completed ones. IKEA Effect: We place higher value on things we partially created ourselves. Ben Franklin Effect: We like doing favors; we are more likely to do another favor for someone if we’ve already done a favor for them than if we had received a favor from that person. Bystander Effect: The more other people are around, the less likely we are to help a victim. Suggestibility: We, especially children, sometimes mistake ideas suggested by a questioner for memories. False Memory: We mistake imagination for real memories. Cryptomnesia: We mistake real memories for imagination. Clustering Illusion: We find patterns and “clusters” in random data. Pessimism Bias: We sometimes overestimate the likelihood of bad outcomes. Optimism Bias: We sometimes are over-optimistic about good outcomes. Blind Spot Bias: We don’t think we have bias, and we see it others more than ourselves.

It's so blurred. I can't read at all.

Drink hot water. It keeps the body warm.

Admitting that I'm dumb actually helped me. It made me humble. I'm also a bit immature. Yup. I'm dumb and immature But I'm not silly. Just a bit dumb-ish. And I need to improve myself on the scale of maturity and smartness. Then maybe it can fix my issues. Quote

Self compassion And Self devotion

I agree.

Update 2, January 18, 2022 Feeling much better now. Had dinner finally. Anxiety is kinda down.

Update 2, January 18, 2022 I had a cold shower just now. Feeling better now. Trying to cool off. I was feeling frightened and anxious earlier especially after the dream. I just want to feel carefree. There was no power for last 3 hours. I felt dull and upset. But after the cold shower I felt better.

I think whatever happens in the past affects many generations to come. Btw rap music still celebrates drugs and gangs just like it did 5 years ago. Nothing changed much.

Update 1, January 18, 2022 I tried to have a nap. And I woke up in fear because I had a very bad dream regarding Marcel. My relationship with him is wonderful and I have been happiest with him yet I had this very dangerous dream. I shared this dream with Marcel and let him know and he calmed me. I feel much better after openly sharing my dream with my sweetheart Marcel. I'm glad that he understood why I had such a dream and how my trauma was responsible for it. He eased my stress and trauma and let me know that everything is okay. I want to hug him and just let him know that I love him.