Preety_India

I was looking through the whole stage thing and I do have a faint idea of what it means but I have forgotten it over some time now. The green blue turquoise stage etc. Can anyone provide a simple overview or a link that is very detailed or explanatory on this topic.

She looks cool

In what way could I be causing problems Not taking proper care of myself Wasting too much time attending..... Lack of self focus Getting unnecessarily emotionally hurt and distressed. Affecting my schedule. Causing unnecessary interference in my schedule and loss of my resources or energy or time or the disruption of my normal schedule Loss of mental peace Weight gain Comfort eating Psychological damage Financial loss Sleep disturbances and insomnia General distraction from major goals Self esteem issues Occupancy of my mental and life space Emotional Hurt and betrayal

The key difference that has been made is that you are now dealing with uncomfortable emotions, rather than the belief that you are good enough (which cuts way deeper since when you believe it's true, it's a box you can literally never come out of). I found this wonderful thing in the forum that helped me understand better. That lack of confidence is definitely an issue because it can lead to self esteem battles, self guilt-tripping, pleasing others, not caring for self but over confidence is equally a problem because it means you can never change or improve because you are too good. The key lies in a balanced confidence.

This entire ball of psycho emotional mental spiritual, I will call it the intangible component

Another psychological barrier that I suffered from was this feeling that if I cared about my own needs and concerns I'm somehow being selfish. I sort of internalized a strange form of guilt over self care and always associated it with selfishness. As a result I could never fully care for myself. I need to convince myself every day that caring for myself is totally wonderful and not selfish at all I think this thought was implanted in me by my ex who always made me feel guilty anytime I expressed my concerns or needs.

Another lesson is If you have nothing to gain, make sure that you also have nothing to lose and make sure you aren't losing anything

Santa muerte helped me a lot in accepting who I am and not feeling ashamed or unworthy of myself. She reminded me that those who shame me are the ones who are wrong These 4 things that I should learn to deflect and cut off and dissociate and cancel from my life. These are specific strategies ?Deflection - means distraction. If a person says something offensive in the middle of a conversation, immediately switch that topic and act like you didnt hear it and turn over the attention of that person to something completely different or bring the attention back to the original discussion bypassing that offensive subject. ?Cut off - cut off that person completely from your life Reduce interactions with such a person Or cut off the interaction abruptly. Walk off or go silent ?Dissociate - do not be impacted even slightly by that person's negative judgement ?Cancel - cancel the person. Which means do not like them. Do not give them importance. Treat them like they don't deserve any form of praise or attention from you. Treat them with contempt and derision just dislike them, consider them inferior for their mean behavior. Eject them from your field of thought or vision Apart from these strategies the behaviors that I should red flag are ? Someone who complains ? Someone who plays victim around me even when I didn't have the intention to hurt them ? Someone who doesn't appreciate ? Someone who doesn't respect ? Someone who shames me ? When I am misjudged or misunderstood by the person. ? Someone who doesn't care enough or is very phony in their caring attitude ? Someone who doesn't appear empathetic ? Someone has a negative opinion of me ? Someone who is skeptical of me ? Someone who is judgemental of me ? Someone who blames me without justifiable reason or context ? Someone who threatens me in both small or big ways ? Someone who bullies me... A common thing that bullies say is go kill yourself ? Someone who ridicules me ? Someone who mocks me ? Someone who fails to assure me ? Someone who is rude to me ? Someone who is indifferent to my needs and concerns ? Someone who is downplaying my problems.

I will try to differentiate between Dissociation and detachment Detachment means being detached from your surroundings Dissociation means being able to unhook oneself from bias, prejudice and other people's emotions, judgement, perceptions and able to retain your equilibrium and basic calmness

Next spiritual lesson is Hate is okay. It's okay to have love within myself and for someone to have hate for me. It's completely okay for them to hate me. It doesn't make me a bad person.

@This is the end thanks a lot

Today in my spiritual growth I'm going to focus on Dissociation and Lack of acceptance How to stop guilt tripping myself. How to dissociate myself from people I don't want to be with. The feeling of guilt that constantly bothers me. I think this feeling of gullt also causes me to become psychopathic, schemer, manipulative and pretentious. This fundamental guilt comes from some factors that I have identified in my childhood Those are Lack of acceptance Fear of being rejected Fear of being scorned or hated Fear of being judged which is the biggest Fear and guilt of being unloved Fear guilt of being considered unworthy Fear of being punished or persecuted Fear of not being in the good books/favor of that person Fear of not being ignored Fear of being outcast Fear of humiliation Fear of hate Fear of not being able to win favor of the person These particular fears cause me to bend to a person's demands and not be able to say no. Not being able to stick to myself and retain my self respect and not being able to defend myself effectively and easily get guilt tripped. A few days ago I felt like I was wrong even when I was not wrong. It was a question of my self respect. I began to doubt my basic objective thinking which was right. But doubting it led to needless self guilt. I think feeling excessive self guilt can be a sign of suffering narcissistic abuse.

Another lesson that I learned during my morning meditation is that Only type of energy can exist. It cannot be two energies at the same time. Like I cannot hold the energy of both love and hate at the same time. So once I have the energy of hate, it won't be replaced by energy of love because it doesn't work that way. Once I have the energy of love, I cannot suddenly get hate I need to do a recap of my spiritual practices.

@Raptorsin7 fasting is one of the things that helps me get a peak experience. Another thing that helps me is a type of meditation in which I do visualization where I feel like I'm accessing an alternate reality or realm or space and in that space there is only love and peace. Sometimes this experience can be very intensely emotional. I call it my love exercise. Another thing that helps me is making a chamomile tea. But meditating with it Recently I came across a video where I saw a snippet and an image of a meditator working on a piece of art. That was beautiful. It felt like full form expression. I haven't tried it yet but going to try it soon. Another thing that's helping me recently is my Santa muerte practice I also get a lot of insights during my spiritual meditation

This has happened to me too when I started my spiritual journey. It seems like a common thread. I'm more than glad to not have anymore relationships in my life. My spirituality helps me cope with the space in life.

I especially like this paragraph because it highlights how believing too much in yourself can itself be a limiting belief which is a paradox. So there's a need of a balance.

I would have to agree that approaching someone with the set belief that you are not good enough for them is already very limiting in itself.. And doesn't bring any good results. If you want fulfillment in life, you have to let go of many limiting beliefs that hold us back from a happy life

This is my break up week lol.

My life is too precious now to give into narcissistic abusers. My future plans will not involve anymore narcissistic abusers. No more of those - men who only think of themselves and have zero concern for the woman. Go ahead and do it. It will just confirm the idea in my head that you weren't the right guy to deal with it. He is delusional, narcissistic and arrogant. He got his job on 8th October. I left him on 15th October. 2019. He is bipolar, narcissistic, abusive, anger issues, unreasonable, delusional, unrealistic, selfish, cheap, sex addicted, egotistical maniac, manipulative, trouble maker, psychopathic, sociopathic, bully, he sees people as objects and uses them to his purpose and has absolutely no regard for someone's condition or emotions.

The silence is deafening.

Another spiritual lesson that I learned today is When you start with honest and genuine intentions you have honest results.

It could be taken in a positive way. A method for you to grow and understand the partner. See where you did things that caused issues, work in those areas and next time you probably won't need to hear those words. At least be grateful for the fact that your partner is giving you an opportunity for further negotiation. It would be extremely cruel if the person just made up their mind to move on silently without having a prior conversation or giving you a chance to understand and know their concerns. Depends on how you look at it. I'd be more than glad if my partner brought up an issue in a civil way like a talk, to me it would translate as a form of respect for me and a chance for me to learn what I can change about myself in the relationship to better accommodate my partner. I would be happy to know that I can resolve it and that a roadblock in the relationship is getting resolved which means more clarity and maturity in the relationship and one obstacle less to deal with. The more opportunities to resolve conflicts for me would mean stronger and better relationship and lesser misunderstandings for the future.

It's okay if someone has a different opinion than yours or disagrees with you. You don't have to be so rude or worked up. This is a public forum where you ask questions and people can give a variety of opinions some of which might not resonate with you. And you don't have to respond to each and every comment from every user. People have the right to comment to a public question as they please and you cannot really tell them not to do so. If you do not like what people say, be chill about it and learn to let it go rather than being rude to me on a public forum.

I don't think you need to be a sex God to begin a relationship. That would be a tinder kind of thing. It would be equivalent to a woman saying she needs a plastic surgery to start dating!! You are perfectly normal as you are. That's the crux of the problem you are facing. You are thinking that you cannot get a certain type of woman because of certain reasons and one of these reasons is sex. But who says that you have to be a sex God. Nobody. This insecurity is arising in you and causing you to withhold yourself from meaningful relationships. Sex has absolutely nothing to do with. Both men and women can be bad at sex in the bedroom. If your relationship gets impacted by the quality of the sex, then that's not a relationship at all to begin with. The point I'm trying to make is that you don't need anything in the world to have relationships. No skills at all. What you are possibly looking for is a a date and in the dating game all these parameters matter because that's how it's designed to be but in a real wholesome relationship these things do not matter. You have to be confident of who you are and what you are. Or else your insecurities will plague any relationship you enter into. And confidence does not mean that you have to go out of your way to prove it. It only means you are comfortable being yourself. And that way you find a person who is also comfortable being with you. Just chill. It's not a hunting game. It could be that your own fears are holding you back. Sex is a journey and not something like cooking you get good at. You are already approaching a woman with a negative mindset that she might reject you for not being good at sex. This could be a self limiting belief in you, an assumption that creates fear in you around women. You might very well find women who like you and accept you and you can sexually experiment with them in all sorts of ways. You kind of make it look like people who aren't good at sex just shouldn't be in relationships or just cannot get partners. It's nothing to do with it. Be confident and comfortable and when you find a loving caring partner you will never have to worry about your insecurities regarding sex.

@Bridge to Infinity I'm bad at articulation so my replies are long and winded. you are feeding into social bullshit. We have a gigantic population on this planet, thanks to women. If all women decided to pick men by aforementioned parameters of security, decisiveness, competence, confidence and high social status all women would have been Melania Trump. Nope. We have so many kids born into poverty every day because women choose to be with men who are broke. Be real. Maybe you are looking for a woman who is liked by all men and has an unusually high standards for men and in that case you will always meet with disappointment. Just regular average plain girls are way easy to date but most men don't want to look across them. They always want the stereotypical "babe"...Men only date down when the chances to date higher run low. Most regular girls are not considered a trophy or a prize and are just shunned or deemed not worthy enough for male attention and are passed off. Competition exists on both ends. It's unfair to say that only men find it difficult to date. Both men and women are selectors. If a woman tried to approach first, she will most likely be considered too desperate or a bimbo/nymph. A man wouldn't like that either. Females are mostly dummies. If they weren't, the whole world would have been full of rich kids by now. There are women who date jailbirds too. A man is less likely to date a woman if she is even slightly fat. That's a lot of men who dump their old wives for younger prettier women. Hence the body issues that women face. Women even stick with abusive partners hence the rates of domestic violence are still high despite massive awareness. In reality nature is brutal to both men and women. It's way easier to get a woman, all you have to do is be a lothario and manipulate her mind and her pea sized brain and weak heart dives right into it. Rich men only get more goldiggers, not really women. Poor men don't get goldiggers, they get the plain stuff which they are not really happy with. The kind of women who complain about a man's sexual performance in bed is probably the wrong type because she is not really into loving the man but satisfying her needs. Same can be said of the other gender. Men despise women who don't give them enough sex or get fatter or older with time. That's why all the plastic surgeries and a billion dollar cosmetic industry to make women stay youthful!! It would be wise to look for a partner who is non judgemental and committed which basically translates as 'real love.' As long as you don't find true non judgemental love, your eternal quest for love will continue. It's hard and you have to be damn lucky to find it. When you ultimately do, it will be this one person with whom things like sexual performance, body image, wealth, social status, confidence will not matter at all and it will be pure joy unless you begin to judge that person as beneath you for having accepted you. Keep an open mind and an open heart. But remember one thing. The day you meet a person who truly loves you and doesn't judge you, don't be foolish and lose that person because a lot of men do that, lose the only person who ever cared and come back whining on the dating market Goodluck.