Preety_India

Thanks key

Thanks Anna

You got some fantastic responses here. I believe in the law of attraction although I know that some people think that it's nonsense. You attract the situation with your energy. Do not live in LACK It's detrimental to self esteem if you constantly focus on it. Because it makes you feel deprived. This can unconsciously attract toxic relationships without your awareness. A relationship is a big deal. So even if you get a gf, it's not all smooth sailing. There will be challenges in such a way that sometimes you might want to be alone. Fights are common.. But obviously a relationship makes you feel wanted, desired, grounded, nurtured and attached. It makes you feel secure The one thing that you can focus in the meanwhile is personal growth. Think how this will attract your future partner. Think how much work you did on yourself to attract this future person.. It will make you feel proud of who you are. But do not wallow in self pity. Understand that you deserve love whether you get a gf or not. Which means you will need to engage in self love.. Every mental need is deep down a craving of the mind. And when it gets fulfilled its not a big deal.. Because you kinda get over it and it is not as great as you thought once. Another option to feel affection in your life is to adopt a pet. Animals are naturally intuitive and loving and they can make you feel loved if you feel lonely. You can learn so much from them. Of course human company is an entirely different thing. But whether there is a will there is a way. So be hopeful and positive. Always learn finding love in yourself is also a journey which is equally exciting. And try to connect to people. Do not lose your romanticism just because you don't have a partner. Read romantic novels. Watch emotional movies. Watch comedy. Connect to that side in you so you always have that ESSENCE even if you don't have that PRESENCE. Like someone said here that you can always dream and live in those dreams and still manifest your desires in those dreams.. So never stop dreaming and always work on yourself and have an open heart.

Point noted

@DrewNows it's great.

@Danioover9000 I'm on a break with relationships because I have had many. Relationships are not easy and consume a lot of your precious time in life, remember that. So now I'm more organic about it. I don't spend a lot of emotional energy anymore because the ultimate recipient of all the stress is only me. I try to be more to myself. And seek my happiness within. I'm dating another person right now but the major difference I have made to my dating style is that I no longer attach myself too much and don't allow myself to be consumed by them completely like I used to before. Now if I want to hang out with that person, I carefully set time apart and make sure that it's not interfering with my daily life too much. Women can be intense and emotional. I have realized that now and it's not too late for me to make up for the losses I went through in terms of physical and emotional damage in previous relationships. Now I bring back the focus to myself whenever something feels uncomfortable within the relationship because I have realized it's a huge waste of time spent in thinking too much about a man. I was a firm believer in lifelong relationships, a hard wiring of my brain that I need to get rid of. This thinking has caused me to be excessively bothered about relationships. It makes you neurotic because you put relationships on a pedestal. Maybe we don't focus on other things in life, relationships take centerspace and it's especially true in my case because I was heavily dependent emotionally. The fact that relationships do not always last has changed my perspective in a big way. It's been mind blowing and I try to be less emotional and more realistic now. Now I focus on being emotionally independent and if he doesn't call or if he gets offended, I don't give a damn, because I have my life to be put together, and I just let him know that because a lot of men usually do not respect a woman's space, especially the needy ones, and they make a woman feel guilty for something she didn't do for him, so I have learned how to say "No" and respect my own space which is a huge shift from my previous behavior, if he gets offended I just let it go, because I cannot give my life away to accommodate his needs and or to make up for his feelings of deficit or his complaints. So now I'm more inclined to say to myself "if he wants to leave me, he can, because I am not going to change anything, and I don't have to submit to his will" this thinking has changed my life, because my emotional dependency meant that I catered to his every need 24/7 but not anymore. I have recognized this behavior as codependency and I'm glad that someone in my thread pointed it out to me so I became aware of it. Now I longer hold on to that behavior of wanting to impress/or scared he might leave, this is Emotional independence. I have myself broken a lot of my relationships because it turns into an energy vampire pattern after a while, so I don't see a lot of interest in them anymore, it's all hormonal hype. I try to not get suckered into too much of it and my focus now is just me. It has been a hell of a ride towards emotional independence but I'm gradually getting there. It just needs a lot of self work.

Passive form of aggression is beneficial, and it is the right way because it is in harmony with the natural laws so it will only lead to continuation, equilibrium and progression and not decaying or destruction.. On the other hand the more active form of aggression is actually a big trap.. It looks fantastical like firework and enticing. But it's a trap and ultimately it leads to destruction.. No point in following it.

How to resume the flow back Need to work on this for effective strategies. Important steps Recognition Labeling Purging Creating emptiness Creating comfort Calmness Focus Reminding Concentration Building pressure.. Slowly Nudging Visualization Building motivation. Building stimulation... Building positive stimulation Confidence Initiation Positive pushing For a water body to start flowing it needs initial force. Means creating a positive feeling around the initiation. This is positive pushing. Make it joyful. Make it fun.. Make it positive and happy Build this positivity or aesthetics around the initiation with the help This is where aesthetics becomes very important. Aesthetics is a very important power or stimulation receptor in the brain.. Using aesthetics build a positive stimulus.. Pushing does not mean pressuring. Idle pressure.. Pushing does not mean stressing. Pushing means encouraging Pushing means pleasant loving coaxing or persuasion.. Create the feeling that you want to do it. Push or reiterate this feeling Repeat this feeling Pushing means encouraging and pleasant persuasion. Be persistent. Encouraging can be of 2 types *Building the confidence that yes I can do.. Encouraging to believe in one's abilities. Encouraging to believe that you are a good fit. * the second type of encouragement is slight pushing and convincing yourself that you are going to do this right now. Like a decision making process and then building on this decision and making it more and more certain and firm. You have already set your brain for it (this is also called mental preparation) you have prepared your brain to go forth with this decision.. You have given the command to the brain that you are going to do this.. And the brain is resistant to follow orders and it creates self sabotage. The brain is a malleable piece of clay. You can mold into any shape or form just by a little bit of strategic thinking.. When you give a command to the brain it follows the command. Combined with pressure and anxiety the brain is now forced to do it even if it is resisting it. Although pressure and anxiety look like negative words they are being used to create a positive effect. This means that negativity also helps in getting positive results.. Anxiety and stress are negative motivators but still a motivator. They need to be used in the right situation, in the right manner and in the right proportion. In the last stages of the flow cycle or motivation cycle, negative motivators actually are very handy in creating motivation. Once the initiation is started successfully, start with reward mechanism. Keep rewarding heavily during the initiation to maintain initial momentum.. In process rewards. These are rewards to the self while the whole cycle of initiation and completion are going on.. Completion rewards. Once your purpose is complete you can assign huge rewards which can be called completion rewards. Example public speech

@Key Elements how come you are able to have a background in your profile picture and others can't. I don't have that option

Push the flow This is the most important part of flow theory Push yourself in the direction of the flow After building the focus and building the concentration next is to build motivation, stimulation and encouragement Encourage yourself. Build the motivation.. Give a push to your motivation. Give yourself a push. Push your mind to achieve the goal or purpose. Encourage yourself. Also build confidence. Tell yourself "I can do this" "keep pushing yourself to do it gently and slowly" You can't push hard because that can lead to buildup of pressure. You have to push slow. So keep pushing slowly till you reach the point where you actually start the initiation of the goal/purpose. Constant flow /streak Interruption of the flow Recognition of the interruption of flow Resumption of the flow Streak maintenance

Now the top bottom approach From the mind to the body First work on the mind and the emotion that is heart. Next work on the body. First reset the mind. Now reset the body.. Take care of the body step by step. Once the mind is in control it's easy to control the body. Bring the body to state of stability, homeostasis and calm. Then work on making it healthier. Be realistic with your life approach. How to resume the flow back Once you have addressed the chaos now, "the chaos has been taken care of" "the chaos has been dispersed" Create the flow again. "concentrate on it" "single mindedness" "bringing back the concentration" Write down what you need to do. This is an important part of crisis management.. "push the flow"

So start with the upper Chakras The mind Chakra. The whole subset of upper Chakras like the throat and the upward form the heart and then the third eye Chakra and the uppermost the crown Chakra Target each one of these. One by one. Target the mind. Target expression. Target your intuition or what you feel. Target the heart..this means dealing with emotions. Carry a questionnaire to better address the emotional turmoil and to get quick answers Carry a mental health and emotional health questionnaire. Purging..let out... Rant...get it off the chest. Either acquire or create this state of healing and comfort. Try to feel happy and grounded. Tell everything is okay and fine. The root cause of the chaotic feeling is anxiety. Deep down you feel like things are not okay so you get the OCD to start fixing things and it doesn't feel better ever. Just say to yourself that at least right now everything is okay. Voice of mental resistance. Diffuse that voice of resistance Take a deep breath. Calm Don't feel that OCD. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Once you have convinced yourself the brain is no longer in the irritated state. Now you have to build focus. Use a focus card.. Write down what you want to do in the next few moments to 3 hours. Write it down. Focus on it. See what part of it you can actually do right now. Try doing it. Wait for a complete reset. If you weren't able to do anything at all. Wait for a complete restart and a clean start. A middle start is something that you right away during the process of chaos. A clean start is fresh new on the next day.

One phrase to use is broken streak...thats a good one to use Now the important question in my head is how to resume the flow back. Sometimes it is just a start or a resume and sometimes you have to start all over again. This can be tricky. First is top bottom approach I'll use the phrase here ".... Hmm I forgot... I'm getting memory problems big time I'll call this clearing out or cleaning out. First is" reset button" "empty button" purge yourself Remove the clog Emotional reset button. Get your emotions to a stable state Get your mind to a stable state. Mentally calm. Emotionally calm. Reset and empty.... Ground yourself Chaos management. Also use the phrase off streak. Or off grid Then mental reset button.. One way to deal with the chaos is to recognise and then address the chaos. Label it.. ......... Fill in the blanks... This is what is making me feel chaotic.

How to resume the flow back Because you again feel chaos and get scattered brained.. It has to start from the top to the bottom not bottom to top.. Now I'm on a writing streak as the ideas keep racing into my head. I'm not able to squeeze max out of me.. I'm growing at the speed of a comet. Sometimes I need to slow down

3 more concepts Constant flow /streak Interruption of the flow Recognition of the interruption of flow Resumption of the flow I'm going to discuss flow theory in more detail. Now some terms to use here are "falling off the wagon" "constancy of purpose /flow" "initiation of flow" "pushing the flow" "gap in the flow" "off the streak" These are like phrases to describe the situation not exactly scientific language. "getting back on track /flow"

Why emotional stability is important I'll discuss that some day. I take a long time to write even small things so I can't write too much although I'd love to. But I can't do that. So I finish myself in as brief as I can be. Plus the restrictions of my job and time means I never have enough time ever on my plate to actually write everything I want. And when I write I get overwhelmed so I have to go brief and short which limits my capacity to full express myself in my journal. But something is better than nothing. So I will continue to write even if it is little at a time.. My writing is more like small small baby steps every day towards my growth. But I'm grateful because even a little thing is better than nothing.

Coping mechanism as a part of empowerment. Learn to label a trauma and let it go I'm a bit secretive about my trauma and I know it. Since I have suffered a lot of childhood trauma it's important for me to do that. I have suffered multiple traumas in my life and I am just learning coping behaviors but it's difficult. One side effect of my trauma was the intense fear I felt while sleeping that if I sleep that something bad will happen or I will lose out on something important. Sometimes the trauma gave me a feeling of emergency, chaos and OCD. So I'm trying to come to grips with that too in the middle of everything.

Alternative concepts Other than spiritual knowledge you also need alternate knowledge Eebitters. And Aweymin seaweymin Evil ninjas Toxgar

Mini updates Purity of the heart is something I wanted to talk about. Difference between evil and villainy Coffee time

I have lately come across a lot of judgement in this section with regard to qualities and looks and everything else. I'm a strong believer in the possibility of anything and everything. I feel God has a purpose in our lives. And we can make anything out of nothing. Do you believe that anything and everything is possible out of nothing. I feel that a lot of the sentiments and judgement that people express here especially about women arise from negativity. Negativity only restricts us and creates dissonance. It shows the impossibility of everything rather than the infinite possibility of every minute particle in the universe. Be careful how you judge others because you might end up judging yourself the same way if you're in their shoes. Or you might turn into a hypocrite. Either ways it's harmful. Try having positivity in your life and maybe you won't judge the opposite gender or another race so much.

There's another good reason why judging others is so meaningless. We are not in full control of our will.

@Raptorsin7 @Nickyy The concept I was discussing was about how judgemental behavior is not justifiable because in my opinion, people are in a constant state of Flux or dynamic change. Let's say if I judge someone and said that they are not as intelligent or if I mocked them and said they are not good at sports or any particular skill like driving. But there is a problem with my judgemental behavior because my decision to brand a person as bad or inferior {judgement is usually in the negative context} means I have permanently stamped them with my perspective therefore limiting their possible future potential in my eyes and in the eyes of others as well as that person. The person now needs to accept that this who he/she is. Can you see the flaw here. That person is less likely to work on their personal growth because they are made to believe that what they are has already been decided. That's why I wrote about infinite possibilities and something evolving out of nothing. Because if I judge my partner as an addict, his chances of recovery and growth have been dismissed by me and I have created a situation of despair for him by making him feel that there is no hope for him in my eyes. That was the point of the post. That judgement(and here I mean being judgemental) arises from deep rooted negativity and is a shadow in itself that has not been resolved in both the speaker and the listener. Thus by judging we invalidate the infinite possibilities of growth in a human.

Let's take an example. I think what you mean is this. You judge a particular behavior as low conscious or high conscious even on the turquoise stage of the spiral. And in a similar way you'd judge the political situation in your country as favorable or unfavorable to growth no matter whatever stage you are on the spiral. I think what you mean to say is that the process of interpretation always exists only the parameters and conditions used to judge change. Which means you judge two things against each other in a more mindful conscious manner.. I think I interpreted you right?

Can you give an example of how judgement actually happens?