Preety_India

@Key Elements we have a great chemistry overall. Plus I'm working on my own emotional skills. I don't want to invest too much emotion into him like I did last time. I'll take it slow with him. He seems like a really nice person. You're right about the attachment part. I'm letting go of too much attachment. It can bring unnecessary misery in the end. I focus more on end stage thinking now. My intellectual growth so far has afforded me some protection. But obviously I have more to learn.

I always thought that bossiness was a bad quality. But now I can see how it helps in survival As a survival combat weapon.

@Anna1 hahaha yep. Or they will say climate change is a fabrication. Or the moon landing never happened. The one making the rounds on the internet now is that Jeffrey Epstein is not dead. They should all be wearing a tin foil hat to protect themselves from radioactive waves coming out of alien spaceships. Or they might get MK ultra programmed by their governments.

@Bill W I told him this There must be some truth to your belief since the flat earther movement is getting bigger and bigger across the globe. He didn't get it.

Develop a kind of selfishness which is good for growth Do not trust too much Ask yourself the question Is this going to help my survival or impede my survival? Is this going to ensure my survival and wellbeing or going to be destructive to it. One thing I never had was a GUARD.... Building a wall helps. It helps in keeping destructive elements out. Do not deal with negative and destructive people. Throw them out Is this thing going to be helpful to me or is this going to hurt my survival and sustainance. Ask this question in every situation. Is this person, situation or event going to sabotage my survival.

I also wanted to start shadow work on a serious level. There are 3 things that I want to focus on right now Spirituality Shadow work Psychological tools and resources

Very very true. Golden words. Your thoughts are always crystal clear.

I'm trying to recollect the keywords Well being Growth Progress Health Nurture Healing Survival and life Flow and Organization Enrichment and empowerment Self love, self care Ensuring future survival and comfort Advantage

@Anna1 hahaha honeymoon. That was nice.

The other keywords that I was going to focus on was Well being and Nurture and Shucks I forgot the other word. My memory is getting worse. This affects my development work big time. Lags in memory I get a creative idea in my head and 2 hours later I completely forget it. My memory sucks these days..

I was going to talk about how there are different levels or forms of self esteem like low and high and strong and fatal self esteem

You really had to do the sexist thing of making it women VS men. Not a great idea. He is not his father by the way the one who caused him so much hurt and pain. You don't need to comment on other's suggestions and judge whether it's good or bad. Give your own suggestions rather. This is not a competition for good advice or bad advice. The OP reads everything and decides what he needs to do.

@MNR Mackey If he is texting you or calling you, don't respond anymore. Remove him from your contact lists. Disable notifications for his contact on your phone and social media. He should have nothing to do with you anymore. If I were in your place, I'd have been very angry and reasonably so. He has no right to talk to you anymore. Do not give him this privilege. Totally ghost him. Him being in your life will only make things worse. It will impact your self esteem and cause you despair and distress. There are people in our lives that always cause us sorrow. Best is to cut them out. They dont deserve our attention or affection. They deserve nothingness. Put him out of your life immediately.

Great list.

I certainly doesn't affect how I live. But the fact that he believes something as strange as that made me question his intelligence and sanity. Those are necessary for proper decision making and survival.. I mean of course you don't want to end up with a loony tune. But he is not that much of a crazy. He just believes in certain conspiracies and stuff like that. He calls it "out of the box" thinking. He says he thinks for himself and nobody can teach him and he is proud of it. Well good for him. I admire his independence but I just want to be sure he is not too wacky wacky. I like his other qualities so might as well just nod my head in agreement with whatever he says.

That was a good point. Are you from sweden

Today I want to feel totally free.

Welcome to spirituality! You're on your journey to heavenly bliss. So earthly bliss no longer seems important. I'm going through the same. I want liberation and freedom from the rules of planet earth. Spirituality is a golden dream. The rays of enlightenment touch the soul and transform the mind into an Astral body that travels through the spiritual maze of beauty and captivity. All splendor. All I need is my own company and maybe a cat. But I feel thrilled to experience the vastness of the universe, the beauty of the cosmos the infinite love from the universe filling into my body and soul and earthly entities now look so little so small, everything looks disinteresting and sometimes repugnant. It all is a distraction from the highest achievement of the soul. A thorn in the path. But the real bliss is from the universe. A godsend.

@Chakra Lion you're right mate

This kind of conditioning is difficult. Because we are conditioned since birth to be trustful of others unless they show red flags. Changing this conditioning means changing basic brain wiring. Which is very difficult. It is tough but not impossible. It means removing the conditioning and reconditioning the brain to think differently. I'm thinking to myself how will I feel if I see people as objects like trees. It's sorta liberating. It immediately removes the need for attachments and affection and expectations. They no longer have the obligation to serve you and you no longer have the obligation to serve them. You just look after your own survival and seek love from God. Because love is something you can't sacrifice. It's like food. The body gets hungry and craves for food and then you have to feed it. Similarly the heart has a need for love. This need is not fulfilled by those around us. Because when you realize that they don't love you and or care for you, you feel abandoned. Therefore this need is not met by human bondage. But thinking about God does help. Maybe humans are demons lol Self love is also another key. Think wisely and think how you can survive better and help yourself. See how you can utilize the services of others for your needs and then let them go when they no longer serve your purpose. Return their favor. Or do not take it at all. This way you enter into a business like transaction with them. You don't feel ego when you approach them. You can communicate with them without feeling hurt or acting out of hurt and despair. You don't feel uncomfortable or hesitant in approaching them. You can still deal with them normally. Your ego doesn't get wounded. You don't feel humiliated or judged or punished. You feel liberated. You interact with them the way you interact your boss. You just say hi hello of course, I will do it sir etc. You no longer feel miserable when they neglect you. Do you feel neglected when your boss ignores you. No because you don't have that attachment with your boss. You might even laugh at him behind his back. Buddha was right. Attachment leads to suffering Because you attach that's why you suffer. There won't be suffering if you lost attachment. Because you trust you feel hurt. If you didn't trust you wouldn't feel hurt. You don't feel hurt when the chair breaks. You don't feel hurt when the fruit basket falls on the floor or milk gets spilled. Because it means nothing important to you. It has no emotional significance Yet when someone close to you judges you or says something mean to you, it immediately hurts and causes despair because you hold them responsible for your emotions. In short you trust them. So when this trust is broken you feel hurt. No trust no hurt

@Emerald @Lento The analysis by Emerald is accurate. He is not only a deeply religious person but also wants to believe that he is smarter than others. Yep. He also has a rebellious streak in him. He never submits to authority. He likes his own thing.

When I'm thinking about going mgtow I told myself earlier that how I won't be impacted by the actions of others. This also meant that I should no longer see people as people but as objects the way you loook at trees. Because when we associate people with emotions, it creates a problem a barrier. It leads to disappointment. So it's best to not associate people with emotions. But there is a human need to seek love. This need can only be fulfilled by imagination of God and how God cares for us. That way the craving for human connection is diminished. We can still have a generalized empathy for human beings the way we have for animals. We no longer seek love and trust in others and therefore their actions no longer disappoint us. Allowing yourself to be by hurt by all the human drama leads to more drama and problems. With the seeking of love comes the placement of trust which then creates the possibility of breach of trust and then immense pain and hurt and suffering. But if we stop seeking love then we accept that human nature is flawed and accept its flaws and therefore we no longer trust and thus stop the experience of pain.

@Anna1 he doesn't believe Nasa

While I was depressed and having this conversation with my boyfriend about it all he said something that really resonated with me. He said "they are weak, not us" That was a profound statement he made. Yes the ones who can't love are the weak ones. The ones that are strong do not hurt or judge. They offer support instead of judgement.. I wish God could descend on earth and show to people what assholes they can be. How degenerate and unkind they can be. Then people would realize that true strength lies in love. But we choose to live in survival mode, in fear, instead of abundance mode, we choose to limit ourselves to ourselves and not extend our empathy to others. We believe we are being a smartass by caring only for ourselves. We choose to live like sociopaths and psychopaths We are quick to judge and attack to protect ourselves from perceived hurt or loss. We are slow to show affection out of fear of being taken advantage of, we raise barriers so no one can get in, we get hyper protective when such a thing is not required, we think that dominating and intimidating others will help our cause, that we need to attack to survive or we need to use others to survive like a psychopath does. Some people harm others to survive. Some people use others to survive. Psychopaths use others to their advantage. Sociopaths harm others to eliminate them or dominate them. Both are survival skills at the expense of others. God can move mountains. God's grace is high. God's mercy is infinite. God's strength is divine. God's love is unconditional When you choose to go the MGTOW way, you feel less disappointed by the betrayal of others. It doesn't hurt you anymore. Because you don't have expectations. Stop every emotional transaction with people. Because it hurts.

@Serotoninluv you are fortunate to have experienced such a joy. I experienced it too and also the sorrow Once that happens everything changes