Preety_India

I just need some peace and quiet And I'm glad I was able to have that today

@Raptorsin7 Thanks

Tomorrow is my father's death anniversary. I just don't know how to feel.. He died prematurely and it does hurt a lot. He was the best dad.

@LordFall it will make me a while to browse through my content. But I'll surely get back to you. I totally agree with the adventure part

You're very welcome. Caffeine does impact like a ton. I see a huge shift with and without caffeine. Artificial sweeteners are definitely neurotoxin. They shorten our levels of impulse control. So they tend to make a person hyper. Take care.

@Bill W

Why do we always need to look at each other as stage yellow, or stage blue or stage orange or whatever, is this a new form of discriminating or Labeling people, why can't people just be wholesome and just unique as to how they are and appreciated for that. Does it always have to be boxed category? What if a stage turquoise person said something that is more like stage Orange and a stage blue person said something that is stage turquoise. I mean perspectives can radically change and orient thoughts. I don't think anything is ever static in life. Everything is always in a constant state of Flux.

I feel the same way.. Like characters out of a Shakespearean plot. We certainly live in terms of pyramids and hierarchies even if we are in denial of it. Archetypes actually help me in understanding psychological behaviours of people. This in turn helps me sharpen my intuition and so I'm able to predict the behavior better because I already know what that specific personality does in those situations based on their archetypes. People show predictable behaviors. These patterns become recurrent after a while, like a standard blueprint.. Recently I came across the archetype described by Emerald and I had no idea that I could analyze the situation in that manner. The archetypes she suggested or described were People Pleasing Queen and Villainous Queen. It helped me understand my own behavior better.

Trying to keep it short Honesty Great extensive communication Trust and respect Valuing each other Decency Affection Integrity and loyalty Maturity Sensitivity sensibility and Understanding High on agreeableness Passion and attraction and romance Mutual decisions always Forgiveness (especially after arguments) Laughter Supportive and Cooperative to each other Respecting each other's boundaries No judgemental behavior Allowing space for each other Caring for each other Helping each other grow Sharing everything together Mutual interests (not always) Empathy and Mercy Unconditional love and acceptance Intuitive understanding Openness to each other about almost anything, no holding back or discomfort Quality time spending. Not being competitive Complementing and Supplementing (finding something common to like but also having opposite qualities to keep up the attraction)

This is so true

I'm learning to outgrow myself faster than I can keep up with . I'm biting off more than i can chew

I go to work as usual and everyone at work is discussing that I just let it go. I grab my coffee and get back to work. Submitted my file to the supervisor on the second floor so my boss can review it later. I take a lunch break. Totally drained and tired from the past week's events. Desperately need some tired memes to get through this time Here I go

It's 8.30 this morning that is Monday and I read stuff on cnnn But it's fake news. So I look for local news.

Maybe Nigeria

She calls back at 11.30 pm. I'm doing the event at that time I send her event details. At 1am I'm done with the event.. At 1.44am I fall asleep. I wake up at 7 am. That's when I protest. So this is Friday morning. I text her again about standard market rate and I throw a tantrum about I woke up because of the noise in the background. I get pissy while talking to her. I tell her that I don't care and I hang up. She does the same The day is not good for me. It's a slow day. I'm just depressed for the rest of the day after the early morning tantrum I get my office work done in the meantime and walk to the second floor and submit it to the supervisor. I get the phone call at 10.10 pm. I get anxious and upset over the phone. With the bad news. It's 10.42 pm She sends me a text I tell her about the bad news. This is when I tell her that I'm suicidal again. She tells me "that seems hard to deal with" I tell her that the caller had tried to beat me a few years ago.. I discuss with her the problems I'm currently facing Her getting in that Job and getting made to leave bc of her health problems, fked her over big time I tell her that I hate everything This is at 11.30 pm Then we had a conversation on astrology at 12.40 pm I was feeling a bit uncomfortable and distressed so I carried on the discussion till 4am I realize that Friday was December 13th. Meaning Friday the 13th. And the day couldn't have been more awful starting from morning to night. So the conversation stops around 5.30 in the morning and there is no response. I try texting her again but no response. Maybe she was having a nap. This is Saturday afternoon. The conversation resumes at 11.30 pm on Saturday night. I let it go on just to feel better. Because I had been feeling upset since Friday night. I started talking about Lannie And the whole group. This is at 11.40 pm I tell her how Paul was treating me like a pet lol The discussion continued till 1.40 am Then we again discuss about the standard market rate. She said she can't afford till January Conversation goes on till morning at 8 am I send her another text at 12.43 pm same day which is Sunday. December 15. She responded saying she had been experiencing pain in her knee She told me that she decided to stay another night at the hotel This was at 9pm She talks about expensive vanilla bean ice cream and mini chocolate mousse I told her I was digging inside a coconut It was 11.15 pm and she said a little prayer for her knee Conversation continues till 1.30 am in the night. It's Sunday past night. So technically Monday morning. It's 3 am At 4am I tell her to order a pizza It's 4.53 am.. I inform her about the Hindu Muslim riots being in the news. The news breaks out a few hours prior to our conversation and I wasn't aware. I'm informed by another friend that riots have begun in certain parts of India. So I switch on the TV at 5 am. The least expected time. I am aghast at the news

The sequence of events in the past 4 days needs to be different So all was good on the 9th of December. 9th was a Tuesday Still on the 10th it was okayish. I was feeling active and calm and less depressed. That is entire day on 10th was an okay day and also the next day 11th. On the 11th it was a Wednesday.. 11th was okay I was feeling great on Wednesday. Wednesday evening event starts. So. I don't do anything on Wednesday evening. And Cindy reminds me of the update.. So I do the update. The next day is Thursday. December 12. This is the day when I focus on the event. I start the event around mid noon. Maybe around 3.30 or 4pm or later.. The event continues till evening and I work really hard. It goes up to night 9.30. Pm and I'm tired. Then I get a text from a friend. I respond to the text. The texting continues till the next hour and I am still doing the event The event continues up until the night. Night 1.30 am is where I wrap up things and I decide to give extra time in the night for the event. Realizing that it's a Thursday and a closing for the weekend.. So I know that I have a Friday with me. And I can get it done on Saturday and Sunday. But I continue talking in the wee hours of morning.. I got a missed call on December 12. 1.30 am in the night. I continued texting till 2.34 am. I think it's the same night I won the event. Nope I just checked I didn't attend the event on December 12 or Thursday night. I was just randomly texting her on December 12 night that is Wednesday night. I slept late this night. Woke up at 4.30 am I was suicidal at 4.40 am on December 12. That's actually Thursday morning. That's when I had the suicidal instinct. I texted her. The conversation ends at 6.11 am I'm still experiencing distress at 8.40 am and 9.30am. So this is Thursday.. At 7.40 pm same day I get another text from her. At 8.30 pm we discuss standard market rates. So I try to diffuse the situation and we kinda sort it out. We discuss the birth certificate and ID situation between 9.30pm and 10 pm Then she goes grocery shopping and gets vanilla bean ice cream sandwich. I show her a box of Lotte Choco Pie. She tells me that the pharmacy is still on. She sends me a picture of the pharmacy front door. Shutters I tell her to call me again because the call is left unanswered. This is at 10.50 pm and she complains that her phone is having a problem so she can't return a call

The first setting of 7 day started on 9th December.. So far not good. Missed.. Did good for 10 and 11th December. Then 12 December broke. Slept on December 12 and then had nightmares on the morning of December 12. December 12 was Thursday So the video event was on Thursday afternoon probably after the breakdown Played the event till night 1.30 am. Then dozed off for some time Finally won the event 1 hour later. Rotary club event Either on December 12 or December 13.. That is Friday It will not be a Friday Because friday I was having a very rough time at night. I had that phonecall and it was very distressing So the phone call came around at 10.15 and lasted till. 10.30.. And I was having a bad time. Right after that I was suicidal.. Because I was not able to handle what was being said. I immediately went into a panic. I was in full fear mode.

The final decision came on December 12 Lack of empathy was the reason

Mind racing can do a lot of dopamine activation and damage Fucks up circadian rhythm Self love self care self focus

feel like a broken record because I always talk about it now on the forum, (It’s helped me so much so I try to spread the word lol) but the book The Mind Illuminated by John Yates. A samtha state of consciousness is extremely tranquil, equanimous, and joyful which Id consider to be a very emotionally grounded state. In the book, this dude outlines a meditation practiced designed around achieving samatha. Maybe it wouldnt be up your alley but ime it’s been the most effective way Ive ever meditated. Ive gotten more results with transforming my baseline state of consciousness following that book’s meditation style than any other spiritual practice. Only other technique that rivals it would be psychedelics but since emotional groundedness is what you’re after, not really sure psychedelics would be a good idea.

Thanks for sharing

Cut down any dietary ingredients like caffeine or other stuff like sugars and alcohol /smoking. Restful sleep Of course meditation. But practice is needed. To fit into a flow. Try Transcendental Meditation which helps a lot with emotions For me personally, counting helps a lot. Also a shower to calm down when he mind is racing. Avoid distractions. Keep a no distraction day. Journal your emotions. This helps in keeping a record and emotions processing. Walks. A nice walk helps a lot in keeping those nasty thoughts away Cut down sensory stimulation in your life. Do shadow work for intrusive thoughts Use Om meditation. Available on YouTube When your mind is racing, dry drawing and sketching. EFT... Emotional freedom technique. Does wonders Do not react immediately. First understand and analyze, then react. Cut off the tendency to react immediately by shunning yourself whenever you react emotionally. If you are having disagreement and cannot tolerate them then learn to let go and practice letting go and acceptance. What I learned is something of my own concept. I call this concept emotional immunity. That is I try to distance myself from the reaction realizing that it's baseless for me to react out of it no matter how much ever my emotion is justified. So I gain immunity over time. I just do not allow the disagreement to impact me. This requires shunning the situation and calling it useless. Thus I have invalidated it before it can impact me. I hope the list helps. I can't say a concrete plan but maybe all the random bits of information Iisted might help you to make a thorough plan.