Preety_India

Got interested in makeup recently. Came across some quads that I absolutely fell in love with. Nice colors. I love the names even more than the colors.

@Floating Fractal

Today is Saturday. And I'm just chilling. Nice cool breeze... Can't complain

How to keep thy neighbor away!!

A little bit of comic relief during stressful times.

April 25 Mini updates Cooked some veggie today. Potatoes and corn and bell peppers. It tastes yumm. After many days finally I made something I can eat with happiness.

I will include mini updates on this journal. This journal was for work related and professional side of my life. But it's ok. I will use this for mini updates in between. This journal is more about concentrating my energy into my life and reshaping my life from the cinders and starting a fresh new start with goals and ventures..

I'm trying to keep a Timeline in order to keep a track on my situation through the past whole month. So I created the thread on the Coronavirus on April 3. This must have been a very tough time for me because this was in the middle of the lockdown and I was physically drained and emotionally stressed out and missing many days of food or sleep.. My situation was very bad up until at least April 13. I starved many days during this period.. I had some relief from April 16 onwards. Let me check the date when I said I would be leaving the forum . So the date of that thread/post is April 12/13. This was also the day I was too frustrated with my circumstances because I hadn't had food in days and my apartment was barricaded and the residents weren't allowed to leave and there were riots on the streets.. Things weren't good on the forum either and I was really triggered by certain things(the shaming part got me) and I decided to leave for good. April 16 is when things started to look better because that was the first day I got the chance to buy groceries and meals once the lockdown was lifted on April 14.. So once my hunger situation was resolved I was beginning to feel some energy. Ok. So here we go.. Now it's April 25. Much much better than the past few days. I've stocked up enough groceries. And I'm also catching up emotionally. Things are looking good. At least for a while?

Implementation Days and No Social Contact Challenge.. April 25, 2020. Day 69 of the Implementation Days. Day 83 of the No social contact challenge. April 2020. There's a problem. I missed too many days of the Implementation Days almost a whole month because of the Coronavirus crazy situation. I completely lost track. However the no social contact challenge has worked well during the coronavirus. March 13 was the most horrible day of my life or at least one of the most. Since then I don't see any progress on my journal for a whole month.. This is also the time when the whole coronavirus thing started and my government announced a 21 day nationwide lockdown starting March 26. March 13 to March 26 were excruciatingly painful 10 days, I hadn't slept for nearly 10 days because of extreme stress arising from my relationship trouble and I took a downturn, a full blow downturn into chaos, and I was suicidal and completely out of myself during this entire time and in the middle of it came the announcement that the coronavirus lockdown for which I was horribly ill prepared. That's when I starved for straight 10 days after which I suffered fainting and weakness and a host of symptoms. I was a mess by April 10..it was very tough. I started to use the forum to feel better. I was using the forum excessively during this time to escape my internal messed up state. I had lost faith in life. And that was a depressing period. But slowly the clouds have gone away.. The sun is coming up again.

Calendar markings imported from Brain Visions

Mini updates ------------------------ Yesterday was very stressful. I had to handle so many things. But got a lot done. Sat all night doing my stuff. Got free only at 5 am.. Thank God today is a free day. So not much today other than basic stuff Trying to focus.. I'll have to import stuff from brain visions.

You are getting attracted to those things because social media makes it look like that, and the obvious agenda is to make money. How else will people be interested in these celebrities if they weren't made to look perfect. Actually it's all fake and illusion and bullshit. Having so much money does not make a person necessarily happy. You won't know for sure if they are really happy or struggling or if they even want their lives to be that way. Is that the reason why so many celebrities turn to drugs, rehab, therapists and helpers. It just looks easy. Because it supposed to look like that. Even if a celebrity has a bad day, they still have to smile for cameras, if they start acting vulnerable and tell the truth, they will lose fans. Because most people want a perfect image. You're less likely to follow a person who you begin to see as a failure or see yourself as better than him These things are also temporary. They make you feel good for some time and then you get bored or not want it anymore. Even sick of it. These are materialistic pleasures, there's nothing wrong with enjoying them, but they are not long lasting and mostly an illusion. They are just a distraction from the real path. That's why some of these celebrities really end up in a horrible place especially when their success is gone because once it's over, they don't know what to rely on anymore. They never built that inner sanctum, that inner foundation,because they're so involved in the materialistic gratification. They got blinded by it and they never thought about spiritual growth so once those things stop to exist their life is just over, their life was just a facade and when it's over they struggle to keep it together. With spirituality you're living an authentic life, you are looking for long term happiness, you're finding deeper happiness because such happiness does not rely on fame, money or social image. So the person is happy when he doesn't have anything and there's nothing to lose. Their happiness is not based on temporary things. You're better off learning and developing a spiritual basis for your happiness. You don't need to help everyone. Don't consider spirituality as an obligation to help others. You are helping yourself more than others and that is already enough. Whatever way you help others is just an extension of your spirituality to others, but you don't have to think like you owe something to others. Once you feel spiritually more aware and advanced, then these other things like hot careers and money will automatically begin to look like an illusion and not worth giving your life too.

When you don't take things seriously, things will get serious. --------------------- I'm so exhausted today.. Today's been a tiring day. I tried so hard. I spent hours. Hopefully things will be better next week and I will have more focus.

@electroBeam that's outrageous considering the blockbuster opening.

I have struggled with this question for some time and I know that creativity exists on a grade or scale.. But these days I'm stumped asking myself this question regarding my creative talent or skill. I'm not sure if I'm creative or not. What do you guys think about me, especially those who have read my posts and journals. Do you find me creative? I'm sorry I'm putting you in such a tight spot but I had to let my self doubt out and let go the fear of "what people think." My brain always acts in a scattered pattern. I like assembling images. I have tried sketching and I'm kinda average at it, my mom has always praised my painting skills. I write a lot. I have always been a writer. Not the standard writer. But I'm obsessed with writing. I used to write tons and tons as a kid. Writing was my passion. Just about anything. I'd keep writing to no end. I find it difficult to type but that doesn't stop me from writing. My drawing teacher in school once said to me "you can become a great artist." I was thrilled at that point but something happened, I was forced by my parents to pursue a degree, I forgot what the teacher said, I got into stocks and trading for a while and started working on financial investments. It wasn't my purpose. I didn't like being around those people who constantly talked about money. I made money for some time as a trader and then I switched to an accounts job for a good 2 years until I got bored of it as well. I quit that job out of boredom. Now I work with an event management company. Do creative people constantly suffer boredom? Am I a creative person looking to settle for something and not finding it? These questions confuse me. I'm happy with my current job. But then again I don't know how long I'll stay with it. I have a very fleeting mind. Last 3 days my mind has been fixated on whether I'm creative enough or not? My family has been telling me to pursue what I used to be good at in school, writing, painting and all the related arts. Should I go back to creative pursuits? These doubts have hounded me. Any suggestions would be greatly helpful. I always felt like I wasn't creative enough. But this can also be my own low self esteem speaking. Maybe I'm good but I don't pursue because I think I'm not good enough?!

hahaha. It seems you been doing great since you joined the forum Have a great day.

First off, I wouldn't worry about how people view your creativity or if they think you are creative or not. If you worry about how people view it, it can alter your creative method and that isn't the point of it. Creativity has a certain function which is to bring out aspects of your own heart and soul into a tangible form. You had listed in another thread that you have a lot of different passions - my suggestion is to feel which ones give you the strongest sense of unique personal expression. You will feel it in between the heart and solar plexus - a sense of elation and freedom - it is this inspiration that is the window to the soul. No matter what you choose to do, move forward from that place and grow it like a plant that needs to be watered. That's the place that artists dip into and self consciousness or looking outward can damage that process. The benefits of cultivating and nurturing inspiration are that you will be closer to your intuition, your soul, God, it helps to clear bad karma and allows you to create a bridge to your higher self. Everyone's process on how to get there is individualized. I never thought of it this way. That's a beautiful perception you gave me.. I always thought of it as a raw skill, even the expression part. That's a wonderful way to put it. You're welcome, I borrow the insight from Sri Aurobindo and the Mother who have this to say on it: The psychic being is always there, but is not felt because it is covered up by the mind and vital; when it is no longer covered up, it is then said to be awake. When it is awake it begins to take hold of the rest of the being, to influence it and change it so that all may become the true expression of the inner soul. It is this change that is called the inner conversion. There can be no awakening without the psychic being. If you move in the direction of true inspiration then the raw skill will take care of itself over time. And not that much time, maybe two or three years if you practice for a few hours a day. The worry is part of the mind and (possibly, not 100 percent sure) vital - it is like an overlay that obstructs inspiration. So to grow artistically it is a mindset that has to be seen for what it is, kind of like a brick wall getting in the way of divine flow. This is great advice and I love Chakras. In the human being, is the psychic being the entire soul or do both the soul (in its essence as a divine spark in all creatures) and the psychic being exist together? The soul is the eternal essence at the centre of the psychic being. The soul is in fact like a divine spark which puts on many states of being of increasing density, down to the most material; it is inside the body, within the solar plexus, so to say. These states of being take form and develop, progress, become individualized and perfected in the course of many earthly lives and form the psychic being. When the psychic being is fully formed, it is aware of the consciousness of the soul and manifests it perfectly. I love them too! Creativity is unique in that it is an expression of your truest self and also in that the drive to create comes from the soul - so when creating consciously and from inspiration - just being in that space, is the nourishment. Grow it like a plant. Absolutely. Even though my raw skill is not that good, but I can hopefully nurture it along the way. It will improve, I wouldn't even stress about raw skill. If you have a passion for it you will most certainly grow. That's awesome. Again I never looked at it this way. Thanks for responding to my thread. This was some mind blowing way of changing my perspective towards art completely. And you're such a great artist yourself.. I love your artistic talent. So hearing from you is quite humbling. Thank you so much, that really really means a lot to me to hear that. I am so glad to have helped.

So, I had a huge breakthrough of self transparent honesty which was facilitated by two cups of coffee and then an hour run which cleared my mind and harmonized the brain like a psychedelic. (I did Breath of Fire into stomach the whole run, lol) Anyways, I realized after these four years of discovering Leo, I've literally done NOTHING with my life, haha. I feel like when I first discovered him and a bit now still that I'm his top %1 fans who see the rareness and immense value such a channel provides. However, there's only so much you can get through media and videos and forum browsing every second of the day. This is NOT high consciousness, this is procrastination after a year or two, really. I am taking a break to SOLIDIFY and REBUILD Orange. I hit green intellectually and at times Yellow, as well as MANY turquoise experiences, however my life still seems shitty because 1. Chemical/Lack of Oxygen (this I have covered now) 2. I lack discipline and follow through to do anything with my enlightenment experiences - realistically, if I don't change my foundation of Orange, NOW, I may never get enlightened, at ALL. I must embrace and push through. Essential New Habits: -30 Minutes of Exercise DAILY - Run, Pushups, Jumping Jacks -30 Minutes of Breathwork ONLY -No laptop, apps, YouTube, Porn, Forum. -Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber and Iboga Retreat to Reset brain pre-addiction and make brain more cohesive with more oxygen. -Read ONLY Books from Leo's list - One a month. I've only read like 4-6 books and really some of them I never really finish cause my ADD, and lack of discipline. I won't get anything out of technology really, I have exceeded it's limits to help me - it's just entertainment rotting my brain to want pleasure and instant fixes. People talk about bullshit. Someone who writes a book has something to say. TRUTH. -Only take edibles in low doses if have trouble sleeping. No recreational use. -Read all the success books on Leo's booklist. NO MORE ENLIGHTENMENT books. I'm 22, god damn, I'll be a 40 year old virgin living in my parent's house if I don't wake the FUCK up. -Two 10 Day Meditation/Life Purpose Journal - I'll never become enlightened through peak states of weed and the such, another shadow of shaky Orange foundation which has breed the self-deception for years. -Oxygen flow is the best interconnected "pill" for me, for sure. -I don't need to see a technique in a video or for Leo to tell me to do something next for my life - that infinite procrastinating and chasing is over, with awareness gradually. RESEARCH AND EXPERIMENT MY SELF!!! Leo's last video gave me the final push to make this dream a reality. Really, that was the most profound and moving piece of art I have EVER seen. Makes me wonder if he's human or divinely gifted to be so curious and disciplined with life. Amen, Leo. Love, Yours Truly.

People are more likely to respond if you respond to them Like I responded to a bunch of your threads but there was no return response from you. That leaves the responding person confused. I felt like you're giving me a cold shoulder. So I was like, maybe you didn't like my response. I don't know, who am I to judge eh? So I just leave it..

I never thought of it this way. That's a beautiful perception you gave me.. I always thought of it as a raw skill, even the expression part. That's a wonderful way to put it. This is great advice and I love Chakras. Grow it like a plant. Absolutely. Even though my raw skill is not that good, but I can hopefully nurture it along the way. That's awesome. Again I never looked at it this way. Thanks for responding to my thread. This was some mind blowing way of changing my perspective towards art completely. And you're such a great artist yourself.. I love your artistic talent. So hearing from you is quite humbling.

I don't think SD only works on self love. It's a bunch of things. A lot of factors while determining SD A person's general intentions goals purpose They views on politics and the world Their relationship with nature and environment Their level of Openness to new ideas and thoughts or the lack thereof.. Their lifestyle and relationships Their capacity to either benefit themselves or society. Their psychological and emotional intelligence and level of empathy and maturity. Some people may lack self love and yet be at a higher or desirable level in SD

Skeeter Davis.. End of the world Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love I wake-up in the morning, and I wonder Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand, no, I can't understand How life goes on the way it does Why does my heart go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said, "Good-bye" Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm (Why do these eyes of mine cry?) Mmm, mmm, mmm Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said, "Good-bye"

Thank you so much. That was a good one. You clarified a lot of my confusions.