Preety_India

Today May 7, 2020. Thursday. Implementation Days and No Social Contact Challenge.. May 7 Day 81 of the Implementation Days. Day 95 of the No social contact challenge.

I woke up with a nightmare. But forgot it completely. Today is Thursday May 7. Keeping a track on my nightmares. It's not as bad as it was on first day of the journal. Progress. Some progress but very slow.

Finally doing better...... Gahh I started this journal on March 27 Now after a month long struggle I'm beginning to get better. Whooooooooooooooooooooooosh... Feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

The Koyosta character set. The Koyosta forest Elves and nymphs Guardian Angel Queen Battleships Fortress Ponds and Rivers Festival Halls or Banquet Halls Witchy Manor Keyosha village Uranus is a pirate Empire that the battleships constantly have to deal with.

I have always held this belief since the age of 20, that society should have school called the School of Life, that teaches actualization, relationships to children and teens and teach them important life lessons about living and family and environment and ecosystem. A lot of parents are Incapable of teaching or they don't have time. It's important to teach children first about life and then Engineering and history or Chemistry.

I want to ask you a question. Are you concentrating a bit too hard during your meditation? Meditation is an immersive experience, so it has to be mostly effortless, like jumping into ocean waves, if you tried to force a meditation state or experience, it can become a boomerang and fly back at you. Instead of creating the normal feeling of calm and relaxation and immersion, it can create discomfort progressively over time, even inducing a panic attack causing the heart rate to skyrocket. If you force yourself to look at an object too hard and too long, your eye pupils will dilate, a condition that induces the autonomous nervous system to start accumulating adrenaline by jacking up the adrenal reflex and suddenly, without you realizing, your body is getting ready for flight or fight response. This used to happen to me in the beginning. I started doing Transcendental Meditation which is basically free flowing and relaxing and doesn't cause fear panic or anxiety during meditation. Meditation should always be a good experience. So if you are experiencing bad symptoms either it could be that you are forcing it too much, out of some obligation to do it or it could be that over time your brain has subconsciously attached the idea of meditation to fear and hence everytime you sit down, the fear clock starts ticking slowly and ultimately gives the heart attack feeling. Start with slow doses of meditation. Condition your mind by auto suggestion that there is nothing to fear. After that, slightly correct your practice. Your meditation should feel natural and harmonious. It should feel effortless and calming. Also don't worry about the time that you meditation. It's the quality of your meditation that matters. High quality 5 minutes meditation is better than 1 hour forced low quality distracted meditation. High quality meditation should immediately make you feel at peace with yourself, the way you would feel after a heavy cardio. Check your meditation method and switch it to your needs and also change your mental state before every session. It's called a warm up. Prepare your mind to think that it is good and peaceful. Then your fear will automatically resolve itself Remove the thought from your mind about genetic or hereditary heart disease. You are paralyzing yourself with fear. Even if you are getting a heart attack, you can't help yourself during it, someone else has to help you, you probably wouldn't even be conscious to actually feel it, so worrying about something you have no control over is plain stupidity and inviting more trouble. Remove such intrusive invasive thoughts immediately. The very goal of meditation is to remove and cleanse such intrusive thoughts from the mind You are doing the exact opposite. Cultivate the feminine in you, remove the controlling masculine force that is invading rather than calming, let the feminine side in you calm you down just before meditation and take it cool calm and easy during your meditation session.

In this journal I'm going to work towards my journey of self actualization. It's a work in progress.

@electroBeam I want to ask you a question. Are you concentrating a bit too hard during your meditation? Meditation is an immersive experience, so it has to be mostly effortless, like jumping into ocean waves, if you tried to force a meditation state or experience, it can become a boomerang and fly back at you. Instead of creating the normal feeling of calm and relaxation and immersion, it can create discomfort progressively over time, even inducing a panic attack causing the heart rate to skyrocket. If you force yourself to look at an object too hard and too long, your eye pupils will dilate, a condition that induces the autonomous nervous system to start accumulating adrenaline by jacking up the adrenal reflex and suddenly, without you realizing, your body is getting ready for flight or fight response. This used to happen to me in the beginning. I started doing Transcendental Meditation which is basically free flowing and relaxing and doesn't cause fear panic or anxiety during meditation. Meditation should always be a good experience. So if you are experiencing bad symptoms either it could be that you are forcing it too much, out of some obligation to do it or it could be that over time your brain has subconsciously attached the idea of meditation to fear and hence everytime you sit down, the fear clock starts ticking slowly and ultimately gives the heart attack feeling. Start with slow doses of meditation. Condition your mind by auto suggestion that there is nothing to fear. After that, slightly correct your practice. Your meditation should feel natural and harmonious. It should feel effortless and calming. Also don't worry about the time that you meditation. It's the quality of your meditation that matters. High quality 5 minutes meditation is better than 1 hour forced low quality distracted meditation. High quality meditation should immediately make you feel at peace with yourself, the way you would feel after a heavy cardio. Check your meditation method and switch it to your needs and also change your mental state before every session. It's called a warm up. Prepare your mind to think that it is good and peaceful. Then your fear will automatically resolve itself Remove the thought from your mind about genetic or hereditary heart disease. You are paralyzing yourself with fear. Even if you are getting a heart attack, you can't help yourself during it, someone else has to help you, you probably wouldn't even be conscious to actually feel it, so worrying about something you have no control over is plain stupidity and inviting more trouble. Remove such intrusive invasive thoughts immediately. The very goal of meditation is to remove and cleanse such intrusive thoughts from the mind You are doing the exact opposite. Cultivate the feminine in you, remove the controlling masculine force that is invading rather than calming, let the feminine side in you calm you down just before meditation and take it cool calm and easy during your meditation session.

I can finally be at peace with myself again after the storm. My alter ego Mujer Guardiana is happy seeing me happy. She is probably saying to me.. Good job girl, good job.

I've finally discovered my alter-ego after a lot of soul searching. I have decided to name her Mujer Guardiana. And this is how she looks. I have selected 3 avatars for her. Here she is ready with her sword to take on the battles of everyday. I'm mostly going to use the first avatar for her. She is my guardian angel. My alter ego that calms me when I need her. Of course these are all imaginary things but I like having a virtual reality self image that mimics me but also has other attributes that I would pick and select. I'm not that masculine so I would want Mujer Guardiana to be more fierce and masculine than me. She is a protector.

I can hardly wait to be myself. He was always trying to commodify me but I learned how to control the narrative.

I promise to keep this journal very beautiful as a tribute to my awesome wonderful hero. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.

Sorry but that's not how people perceive Actualized.org. There are many people who understand the value of the website and Leo's teachings and this guy is not one of them. His explanation is stupid and obnoxious. His followers must also be like him. He is too myopic to understand spirituality. He is one of those people who criticize for the sake of criticizing. Big thumbs down to his video.

I have very few friends that I call my true friends. I don't care too much about friends. Most people like to flaunt them. I don't. Be happy with yourself.

Whats this phantom pain? I know what it means but which part of your body is experiencing pain? This is the strangest thing.

Visualization should also be a part of koyosta.

A little bit of fun.

When you feel like you are losing your self A radial gaussian blur beautifully captures the moment when you feel like you are losing your sense of self.. When you feel like that, life can take you anywhere. Try not to get lost into the darkness of life. Be a winner. Be a survivor. Nothing stops you.. Build your bridge and build your home with your own hands. Celebrate your strength. So when things fall apart you still have you. Life is never promised You might feel bad now. But there is always light at the end of every tunnel.

Meditation, self-inquiry, WHM, yoga, journaling, reading, eating healthy, shadow work, having a vision.

Taken from a post.. I would like to prescribe some things. 30 min of meditation 20 min of kriya yoga 10 min Wim Hoff method (optional) 20 min of journalling 20 min Affirmation and visualization Clean diet and detoxification Making friends (few but rewarding friendships) At lease ONE of these or ALL of these for best results over time.. Gradually implement each of the following. 2.5 hours to 3 hours working in yourself. It's quite a lot of time which means that these dosages are quite large . Find the one thing that works for you and do it. Imagine you could feel so much better on the inside with these techniques and function like a self actualised person. But 3 hours a day is not easy so start with one thing it may take even a year to implement all these things but when you do it imagine what it would be like to have clarity of thought and physical readiness in everything yoh do.

Number 1 rule.. Be extremely extremely patient. Fruits of patience are sweet.

My imagination has no bounds. I am creative with my mind. It sometimes helps because it's an escape from reality. I'm still trying to improve my writing skills.. The last week I was toying with the idea of elves. I had looked up some channels on YouTube and read a bit about them and all I know now, that I wish I was an elf.. I would want things to be a certain way in my world of virtual reality. I want to be dressed a particular way when I am an elf.. I have come up with some ideas for my dress while searching around for it. Shopping for dress ideas. Lol So here are a quick exhibits, how I would want to be dressed in my Elf incarnation/avatar.. When I'm being a war nymph, trying to defend my territory from enemies I want to be dressed like this. When I'm walking deep into the woods and all the greenery and heavy bushes and trees, I just want to keep it simple with twigs and leaves all over my dress. When it's forest fires and blazing hot I want to wear something that offers protection from burns and injuries more like an Armour. When I'm in the mountains calling out all the goats and sheep, I want to carry a beautiful Indian flute with me, it's magical to play a flute in the mountains and also I want to wear those boots. When I'm in my forest enclosure, I would prefer some fancy pink. I would want to entertain my friends with some hip shaking and Indian jewelry. When I'm walking around lakes and ponds and streams and rivers, I want to feel like an aqua queen in this dress. This will be my winter dress. Nice and comfy. Warm. This one is beautiful. When I'm having a casual evening walk through the woods using my magical athame on collective beings and sprinkling my magic on them, I would dress up this way.

This dream was very weird I was living in a dorm but I had left that place. I came back to get some remaining items from the room I see a woman living next door and she smiles at me and I smile back at her. Then we get chatty. Suddenly she is rude and I have no clue. I just say Nevermind and go back to my room. I see these large rods, they don't fit on my door so I keep them on her door. She opens her door and she sees me and tells me to get them removed. I explain her the problem but she is adamant.. So I get them removed. I come back to my room. So I start photographing the whole room. Because it looks so beautiful. I was really clumsy when I used to live there. But the dorm girls who came to live there after me have kept it really cool. It looks really small so any kind of decor is just impossible. But these girls did a good job. They have put flower pots on the bedside, very fashionable and these pink dahlia like flowers bring a charm to the room. Next I see they have put some conical pots on the large window in a beautiful array. I'm trying to take pictures of all of them and I want to get out of that place. Legally I'm not supposed to be there because the lease has ended but I have to pick up some stuff I left.. These girls are so kind. They left my stuff on the left side of the table undisturbed and neatly in a bunch. It's easier for me to just pick and throw that stuff into my bag. Now I'm returning back in a cab and I check my phone and my friends have sent me a hundred different pictures of different things. Omg I'm like I can't believe it.. It's my birthday and they really did care to make it special. End of the dream.

Some concepts I'm going to talk about... Architecture and perception Transforming myself into an elf ...... On another note, this is very sad ...... And this is ridiculous in the name of religion