Preety_India

I didn't see any problem. Maybe think less, feel more.

@flume thank you

I'm open minded to fat, thin, homeless, jobless, ugly, shy, introvert, old, awkward, unsexy, blue, red, purple, orange, turquoise, all races, all countries, all cultures, all religions, all sorts of people. I wish all the people on the forum were also like this so we could all live in peace and harmony on this planet and not have to deal with judgemental and racist bullshit from people. Now I don't have any video that challenges me. I don't know if I'm the only one. Be open minded and accept all people with all differences. All humans are equal. Nobody deserves to be treated with closed mindedness. Trying placing yourself in the shoes of the people you have come to demonize. It's not them. It's your own shadow and bias that makes you prejudiced towards them. You can't be spiritual without being loving. You can't play God if you can't love everyone. A lot of the closed mindedness that you see is just egoic games, narcissism, stupid pathetic politics of humanity.

My new high consciousness hobby during this quarantine has been visualization exercises. Did a couple of them. Immensely helpful.

@DrewNows nice

@IJB063 is that Hugh Hefner

@The observer thanks

@Keyhole @DrewNows @Meta-Man thank you.

Thanks for your understanding of my state of mind. What is this super ego? No. I'm not able to differentiate whether it's authentic or not.

@Keyhole Growing up when I was 7 years old my mom wouldn't hug me or alienate me. I started to depend on her affection or validation or acceptance. But things got worse. She became abusive with time and when I was 12 years old, she would repeatedly tell me statements like "I should have aborted you" "you shouldn't have been born", "you are the mistake of my life, you'll never amount to anything" "you are worthless, you just can't do it"... She stopped hugging me and would never bring me close. In fact when I got very good grades she would say "that's not a big thing".. This is not an indian culture thing because kids in my neighborhood and classroom were treated very opposite by their moms. They were loved, hugged and constantly praised and encouraged by their moms. I used to feel very strange looking at their moms interacting with them and then comparing it to how my mom treated me in contrast. I would try very hard to earn my mother's respect and attention and praise but she would never let me. Over time in my teens I began to internalize this as "this must be my fault, maybe I am not good enough, that's why my mom doesn't love me", I began to carry an inner sense of guilt and blame that somehow I am the reason why she can't love me. I would get feelings like "why even bother to try, you are anyways a failure, your mom has already proved that" this feeling would come to me like an inner voice from the back of my head, warning me that whatever I do, my shadows will defeat me. It became like a self defeating cycle. Over time I became too defensive and I constantly engaged in pumping my ego to escape these thoughts. I did positive affirmations to retrain my brain to believe that I'm good enough, that I'm better. I have done a decent job of propping myself on my own in the absence of family support. But I Still struggle a lot. Like if someone pays me a compliment, it doesn't affect me at all. I don't feel like I respond to any kind of praise. I don't feel like it makes any difference because deep down what mattered to me is what my mom thinks, and not what the world thinks. But since I never got that validation from her, what others said or said not, didn't matter. Although this might appear very childish because of my age, like complaining about my mom at this age, I still feel like not getting that acceptance or love from her burned a permanent hole in my psyche.

@BjarkeT I understand what you mean. But that part of me is related to self respect. I have very high self respect. I don't even talk to people who are disrespectful. But there is a clear distinction between self respect and self esteem.. My self respect is high. But my self esteem is low. That is I suffer from feelings of inadequacy or I don't know the word for this, it's un-deservedness, if there is such a word or similar to it. The feeling that I might be inherently lacking something or not deserving because of the lack. Like I'm not good enough or others deserve better than me and a feeling of self sabotage or self doubt When I say what I'm not afraid to say out loud, it's just me being dignified and authentic about my expression and straightforward-ness. I can describe it as a feeling of melancholic self pity, or self-destructive feelings, Thoughts like "anyway I'm doomed" "nobody should love me" or "everything is my fault" even if I know that it wasn't my fault. Living in self - misery and being masochistic about it. And thinking "it's okay, I anyways deserved it." This is the best way I can describe my states of mind or feelings.

@flowboy thanks for the info

@Lyubov like connecting with them in a more emotional way, chatting with them in a personal way, I suck at it. I just don't do it or avoid it completely. A lot of people feel pissed off because of my distant behavior. I don't see the necessity in being personal. But maybe I could be wrong.

I have a great accountability partner. He is imaginary. I call him Mr Angry Doge. I report to him weekly. Seeing his angry face motivates me.

If you have Leo's life purpose course, take some inspiration from that. There could be a few pointers in that for self assessment.

@Jacobsrw omy yeah. Distraction big time. That's a huge problem most people face. And also positivity. Like how was I positive today? Some positive affirmations can be added as well like a section for it.

@Shiva99 you're welcome mate. Goodluck on your journey. I'm 100 % sure you'll do great. You have nothing to worry.

Yea exactly mate @Shiva99, follow that. Spirituality is here forever eternally waiting. But don't let your life purpose be lost. Engage in it fully, it's the best way you serve your spiritual goals. . I mean it's ok you follow non duality. But don't get too engrossed in language. Also think of action.

@NorthNow also Serotoninluv posted something called noetic.org for such sciences. Forgot the link now. Lots of material on that. Ask him for more info

A few from me Goals What are my goals or mini goals today? Achievements What are my accomplishments or milestones or achievements today or this week Gratitude In what ways was I grateful today Situation and Crisis Management In what ways did I handle the different situations today Time management Was I effective in managing my time and schedule today if so how?

@Shiva99 I feel sorry for you mate. But look, you can rewind and drop it. I don't allow this duality and non duality shit to impact my life. Like be smart. Spirituality is fine, but keep it out of your life purpose. And whatever you hear, it's never the ultimate truth, take it with a grain of salt and not let it delude or trap you. See even spirituality can become a trap if you go overboard, take all the good parts, if you see any part is messing with your life purpose or self actualization, immediately remove it or erase it from memory, spirituality is not just concepts and blabbering, but also action and real time love, by helping people with their psychological problems, you're practicing real spirituality, you're not doing what hypocritical people do all the time, simply convincing themselves that they are attaining greatness by discovering secrets of the universe, just be yourself, don't lose who you are in all this spirituality, I'd encourage you to pursue your psychology career again, do whatever it takes, set up clinic and start your practice, your life purpose is excellent, and at the same time it's spirituality in action, being stuck in concepts is dogma, set yourself free and pursue your life purpose whole heartedly you'll eventually forget what you learned and your brain will rewire so don't worry about it.

@EnlightenmentBlog@EnlightenmentBlog sorry you got mentioned accidentally @Keyhole that's a nice picture of a wolf in your journal. Love it. Didn't want to interrupt in your journal so said it here. ❤️

@Dutch guy oh.

You mean daughters?

@Dutch guy @Dutch guy hmm. I don't understand your language. I only understand English, no other language.