traveler

It seems to be a very essential thing to accept. If you're still holding on to your ego while you're faced with the one then it isn't going to be fun, but it is a chance to see clearly how you deceive yourself constantly and how you create your own suffering. The mind is so deeply tricky, deeper than I ever imagined.

Great video, I can relate to many of your insights, and have a similar life story. I also took LSD a year ago or so and experienced the infinite loops of thought. I asked the same questions and then got the answer over and over again, realizing that I had been here for eternity. I was at that time still very attached to MY life and was eager to grasp infinity, which I of course couldn't. I had a powerful awakening where I experienced infinite love, watching the duality of life but untouched by it. Similar to the LSD experience with the loop, but not experiencing it from the persons point of view, but from God's point of view. The infinite observer. I have realized that all of this is one, it is me. The fear and suffering comes when there is an individual that tries to grasp what this is. The individual wants purpose, meaning, security etc. and it can succeed with this to an extent, but this closes the heart and is ultimately unsatifactory.

So I want to attempt to convey some insights I have had recently on canabis. It has been scary and I have realized how serious this path is. On top of that, once you realize your true nature, there is no turning back. You have to go through what is necesarry for you to transcend the illusion of your ego. I'll try to convey the experience I have had multiple times using only a couple of wiffs of the plant. It is equally intense everytime, and a mistake that I have made is to be with people that have no spiritual intention at all while smoking. But here we go: The experience is you, everything that is seen, touched and talked to is you and you only (Not your mind constructed sense of self but the you that you in essence are.) Let's call it infinity. It is a state between illusion and reality, or reality realizing itself in the illusion. In this state it is clearly seen that THIS is IT, the whole of the universe is literally screaming at you that this is it, but the person resists. Because with this insight it is also seen that you (the one that you have always thought yourself to be) has to die to be free. You may have heard this before but it is literal, and in my case I was unable to release myself totally into the unknowingness of this realization. The fear of death and transitioning was to strong and I was unable to let go, because I was sure that I would die, literally die If I did. So the experience was pretty dark, sort of what I would call hell, the whole story of the reality that you believe to be real falls apart right infront of you, while the whole of the universe informs you that you have to surrender and let go into unknowingness, but the attachment to the individual is too strong, so you hang out in an eternal space of fear, total hopelessness and infinite loneliness. I have to add that even in this space, there is a hint of amazement and wonder, and there can be laughs happening too inbetween the harshness of the seeing. This have been very intense, and the seriousness is now recognized more fully. While it was scary it is very healing to go to these spaces. It shows you how there is only 2 options: resist or accept who you are. There is no escape, you will literally never escape who you are or understand who you are. You have to surrender into the mystery of what is, you have to become the mystery.

Just another story. A rabbit hole that leads to nowhere. Haven't seen it all, but the first 5 minutes says enough.

Okay I will take the path to get to this, haha

That was a great idea, I just did, thank you

You can call it what you want, Good, bad, infinite love, the absolute, evil, big stinky fart. These are all words pointing to the same unspeakable thing. All of the beautiful words you use does not help anyone, if anything it strenghtens the seekers hope for an event in the future that will bring them to this wonderful place that you describe.

It is nonsense. Who will get that with enlightenment? There is no suffering, because there is no one to suffer. Good and Evil are interpretations/opinions the person has on what is appearing.

it is not about to seek hope in the future but to seek hope in the now. Does that sentence make sense for you?

Hope is food for the ego. It's always looking for fulfilment in the future. And yes the ego will seek hopelessness if it thinks that it will bring it "liberation"

Can you point out what was untrue in my statement?

The ego can't cease seeking, it is the seeking energy itself. The path is utterly hopeless. The ego will turn non seeking into seeking. There is nothing the ego can do, absolutely nothing. It goes around in a circle. There is no final destination, there is no "there." Nobody is "there." Nothing is "here."

That's beautifully written. I really resonate with what you are saying, even though it sounds like your experience is many times more intense than mine. I'm 20 years old myself and have been going through some disorientation for a while after realizing my true nature. Finding meaning in maximizing bliss within myself is very beautiful. Perfect response to the freedom/infinite prison question, beautifully put!

This is some deep stuff haha. How is life going for Ethan? Does he have a hard time finding meaning in his relative life with the knowledge that "he" possesses? How does he have any motivation to do anything, get up in the morning, work, have relationships etc.? I guess if this is all that he has ever known, that he has been moved by god since he could remember and doesn't have the day to day experience of a normal human being, the experience of a doer? Would you call what you experience freedom or love, or would you call it an unescapable infinite prison? You don't need to call it either of those haha. Are the teachings of well known spiritual teachers like Rupert Spira, Adyashanti or Eckhart Tolle, too basic for you. Are you beyond the understanding of the enlightened beings of our plane of existence?

This sounds like something I experienced very vividly once too. after a psychedelic flashback on weed it felt like I had woken up to the total meaninglessness and unreality of our human experience, it felt like a very very deep existential depression, existential suffering, that there was nowhere to go nowhere to escape. I saw people from an aliens perspective, I had lost myself completely and cried to my sister and told her that I had seen something that I could not unsee, that I had awoken to a part of reality that I was not supposed to awaken to. I'm still struggling with the meaninglessness to this day. No motivations to do anything, can't get myself to find a job, I still have a very hard time being a normal human being and lose a lot of energy just trying to be normal. The losing of myself into my infinite being is happening gradually, and I have an intuition that it is the very act of trying to hold on that causes the deep and depressing feelings of hopelessness and meaninglessness. The fear and deep sorrow of losing the illusions of friendship, family, the future, meaning. I have had very profound awakenings into our true nature, and I can say for sure that THIS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW is it. All of the fear, grief, loss, feelings of meaninglessness does not touch what we are. All there is, is what we are. What we are is intimately involved but at the same time untouched. What are you trying to hold on to? Why are you afraid? Drop your ideas and be with me. Find peace in not knowing.

I actually sampled this video some months ago and made a song. Very intriguing watching people from that time taking psychedelics.

I am enlightened

Thought I would share this gem with those of you who haven't seen it. Watch it all the way through, it's amazing. If you wanna share similar videoes, I would be more than happy to watch them.

@Aakash That is really interesting and all, but how do you feel? Why don't you start where you're at? Your experience right now in this moment is all that you have. Mahasamadhi is a concept in your mind. Why would you need to shed your body to be what you are?

Do you understand absolute truth? Does anybody? Are you talking from truth? From experience? Or are you just copying the words of masters who have said all of the things that you keep mentioning? Have you come to grips with the self-reference problem?

!!!!!VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!! I thought I would share this, as I found it very interesting. It's a buddhist monk Quang Duc who let himself on fire in protest to South Vietnamese Diem regime’s pro-catholic policies and discriminatory Buddhist laws in 1963. The level of consciousness it takes to remain still while burning alive is unimaginable. (if this is against the forums guidelines by all means delete this post. I'm very fascinated by this and thought I would share it with people who I think will be too. But it may be too sensitive material.)

Very bizarre and interesting animation style, I liked it. I'll check some of his other stuff out. Thanks for sharing! Edit: Oh he's the creator of salad fingers. That's a classic.

Is it necessary to have a spiritual teacher for the clearing of your awakening, or should it be enough doing work yourself with help from guru's/teachers on the internet?

Great question. It's like the zen koan "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Cant answer it though.. So bump

Be careful about seeking the experience you had. The ego can very quickly take credit for the experience and make it into another search. This was an actuality for me when I broke through to God. My ego conceptualized my experience and I believed it, then went on searching for about 6 months to get the experience back, until I realized a truth that was inherent in the mystical experience itself: That this right now is it. This is the experience you're supposed to be having right now, always. God is always with you, even when it seems that you lost him. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but I have heard it is a pretty common thing. Just a heads up. And thank You for your post, beautiful insights.