tsuki

For reference: to Peterson, evil is not just selfishness that stems from finitude. The tension within the human condition is brought upon because of polarity between finite and infinite s/he experiences. This is the cause of suffering in life and it has no obvious payoff. He sees two ways to address this problem other than suicide - one is by embracing meaning through conquering fear and the other is nihilism. Peterson thinks that when people choose nihilism, they basically rot with resentment and evil is the outward expression of that. It is the deliberate destruction of happiness of other people. Relatively speaking, in terms of human psychology, I think that he is right. Contrary to popular opinion here, I think that he actually does understand postmodernism, but he falls into believing that it is somehow universally evil. It is only evil in his own definition of evil, as it guides people into destroying meaning while giving no alternative. To him, this makes nihilism the only way of addressing suffering and since as a psychiatrist he's been treating people for that - it's no wonder that he hates postmodernists. I think that despite his multi-perspectival (yellow) thinking, he does not appreciate the importance of stages of development. I believe that he is spiral-aware as he brought up Piaget on multiple occasions, but he fails to see that postmodernism is needed at later stages of development. Given how much effort he's put into battling it, I don't think that it's likely that he will ever embrace it. I remember hearing this quote and I'm not sure, but I think that it comes from this video: In terms of human psychology, exploring the "humans infinite capacity for evil" is nothing else than shadow work. It was always clear to me that Peterson is not against enlightenment - on the contrary - he advocates FOR life that guides towards it. The tension point between Leo and Peterson's teaching is the goal they are aiming for. Leo does not respect the relative domain and goes full god-mode, masculine style.

Hey @Leo Gura. In the beginning of your blog post video, you mention the historical texts about Jesus. Were you talking about the Gospels, or did you read any external texts? If you have the titles handy, I would appreciate if you shared them.

Yesterday I had a deep prayer/meditation session that exploded into a surge of creativity. Since yesterday, I'm starting to feel weird tension around my jaw when I keep breathing/praying deeply throughout the day. When it starts bothering me, I notice that I would very much like to have it relaxed, open. It's very easy to notice the performance of my mind throughout the day thanks to this prayer. When I'm tired or focused externally, the words become smeared, like coming out of a low quality speaker. They also require conscious attention to maintain.

It's not just that replacing sex with masturbation to porn is unhealthy for a relationship. My point was that any contact with porn has negative consequences, regardless of whether you have sex with your partner, or not. Pornstars have a certain way of presenting themselves: looks, behavior, submissiveness, etc that are engineered to cater to the widest audience possible. By jacking off to them, you are training your brain with a very powerful stimulant to expect such behavior from women during sex. Of course, it should be said that if your partner accepts that and finds this behavior enjoyable, then it is absolutely fine. On the other hand, I would speculate that pornstars are not typical women and they mostly value money and derive self-worth from their attractiveness. By framing your partner into exhibiting their behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if you were damaging her self-esteem unintentionally.

The word "addiction" has a big load to it and it depends on what kinds of needs you are satisfying. If you simply have a high sex drive, then I think that satisfying it with masturbation is perfectly fine. However, if you masturbate in order to satisfy your other needs (such as companionship, or admiration) by injecting your brain with a hormone cocktail, then I believe that you are in effect dysregulating your body. Other than that, in my experience, watching porn has a negative effect on my sexual performance because it sets unrealistic standards for sex. These standards include looks, behavior of partners and the general outline for what sex is supposed to be like. I find that conditioning my mind to follow this outline is limiting and "sips through" to other aspects of my relationship. It introduces unnecessary, unconscious, judgement and creates emotional strain. Another point is that supposedly (haven't investigated it myself), porn industry thrives on sexual exploitation of women and is common grounds for rape and abuse. By indulging in it, you are supporting such behaviors. I remember @Shin mentioning it and he may want to chime in. Obviously, it has nothing to do with God-given morality to me, but I acknowledge that many Christians may be sexually repressed and show their frustration by being vocal about such topics. I find it to be very unfortunate.

I think I finally found the correct alignment of breath in the prayer. It's funny because I'm starting to lose the distinction between breath-in and breath-out.

It was a long road for me to bridge the subjective and the objective. The thoughts you have, subjectively, can be shared and agreed upon. Multiple perspectives, when shared, can converge into one, coherent, useful explanation/model that guides behavior of multiple agents. That would not be possible without external/objective reality. Just don't confuse the map with the territory.

Today was the first time I woke up crying from a dream. The dream reconnected me with the events that happened when I was fighting to get my manager fired. In the dream, I took the initiative to stand up to the management when people were complaining about overtime. They didn't listen so I spoke up and the atmosphere soured up so much that I realized that it's a dream and woke up. I started praying for an emotional release and it came in the morning, when I remembered that I had to give my cat to my parents because my wife is allergic to fur.

Yesterday's couple's therapy session wrecked me. I feel like shit. Unfortunately, the way this therapist conducts his practice is like grist for the mill to my superego. It is so ridiculous that I feel worse for not being playful enough.

Ah yes, if you found LOVE then that's awesome.

Are you Leo's spokesman? (I'm not being sarcastic here) Do you have any information that is not publicly available? I'm asking because his posts in the beginning of this thread paint a completely different picture. Even now I'm feeling like I'm dragging things down by speaking up: Here's a different context for you:

I've been vocal against Leo's decisions in the past and openly disagreed on many topics with him. I find some of his behaviors towards members juvenile at best and aggressive at worst. I believe that this comes from his false sense of superiority and arrogance common to us, men in their 30s. That is why I'm highly suspicious of accusations of devilry and purges such as these. And I do appreciate how difficult it is to moderate an online community because I did just that for many years when I was in my early 20s. Oh no, please. It's enough to bear witness to just one me on some days .

I would say that one's capacity to recognize one's finitude is what gives birth to one's humanity. Evil is relative, yes of course! But even if you are actualized enough to forgive from a distance, most people aren't! Isn't it lonely this way? A sage would never come up to you and shove wisdom down your throat precisely because of that. It is not that s/he is too valuable for "swines", but to protect his/her humanity. The decisions he made were relative to the cultural context he lived in. I believe that what he decided for brought less suffering than what he decided against. He was a wise man, I read the parts of his Meditations. It was one of the earliest books I looked into when I was physically free of my parents' influence. I'm a bigger fan of Seneca though.

I think that these "two elements of taking responsibility " are artificially created (not actual), so I'm going to say both (a) and (b). The mind-content of the murderer is not the primary cause IMO. What is, is the broken heart and constant suffering they are going through that led them to believe (attachment to a thought) that they have to be violent to "fight" for their survival. A "The world is brutal, so I have to be brutal or I will die" sort of thing. "If I'm not the top dog in this place, I will suffer", not realizing how much they suffer already because they forgot or never experienced unconditional love. In this context (which is partial, obviously), the God's will is the will to survive which is biological. The individual person has the capacity to choose their own thoughts, but it is SOOO DIFFICULT if you are constantly suffering. This suffering is not always just a lack of wisdom, some people are traumatized by their environment (culture, parents, etc). The most important question though is, how does a suffering person come to a conclusion to introspect and change his/her ways? That is the question that points into direction of the soul, the "thing" that mediates between what we feel and what we think. In this light, the mass murderer has not even begun to be a person, a somebody that is capable of deciding how their interior world looks like. S/he is wholly identified with their biology and will to live. That happens when the inner child gets murdered before the adult dies or is even born.

You weren't asking me, but I find this question irresistible. The only rational reason to perform acts of violence stems from extreme lack and separation, where you believe that in order to survive, you must kill. Mass shootings are acts of twisted celebration of brutality for people that are through with their own life. They are a warped form of asking for help, regardless of what the murderer thinks. Without a functioning heart, the mind is a knife wielded by an angry 3 year old. Hearts are never evil, they are always hurt/broken - so yes, a mass murderer that takes responsibility (deliberate intent) for what he/she does is the will of God. Mass shootings will keep occurring until we, as a society, start taking responsibility for existence of "evil people" and look into the roots of how hearts are broken.

I don't know if my self-importance is getting the better of me, but in case you're looking for me @Leo Gura, I'm right here.

While I'm glad to hear back from you, I didn't intend to make that post about me. Have a good day, you are truly awesome.

It slowly started to become apparent to me that this double respiration of breath and awareness has a natural order defined by alchemical square of opposition. I am also interpreting the prayer in terms of the four-fold division of experience, so this association is natural. I feel very uninspired today though, so even though I already have this mapping, I will not share it for now.

No | Element | Hot | Moist 1 | Earth | 0 | 0 2 | Water | 0 | 1 3 | Air | 1 | 1 4 | Fire | 1 | 0

Listen, friend. I don't expect a reply from you you've been ignoring me consistently for a long while, but just hear me out, okay? Getting free of the co-founder? Probably a good idea. I understand that you're in a tight spot because of the pressure of money and quitting the degree, but this guy... he does not care about you. More than that, he's openly abusive. With a CEO like that, this company will make money, but it won't bring any good to this world. To be like that he has to carry so much pain that he's not thinking straight. You are in your early 20s and you're a cofounder of a startup. You are a bright, capable man and you will find a way to make a living. By sticking with him, you will slowly turn into a sociopath just like him to justify his behavior. Watch out! Getting free of your ex wife? Probably not a good idea, but I feel you. Women can be tough. Working on you relationship AND a company? Your appetite is enormous, and rightly so, but your progress is at the expense of your health. Are you sure that you really appreciate how difficult it is what you're trying to accomplish? It's not just about being smart and hard working. The load is HUGE. Why leaving your parents is associated with suicide? YOU ARE A SMART, CAPABLE, HARD WORKING, YOUNG MAN AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! You don't have to be rich, you don't have to be successful, in order to be. These are difficult times for everyone, not just you. It sucks four wife, it sucks for the cofounder, it sucks for your parents, AND IT SUCKS FOR YOU. You are not responsible for them - be responsible for you. Take care of yourself. People may help you, but you are ultimately the most important person in your life. If you don't accept this, you won't be able to help other people, people you care about. Don't put any more pressure on yourself. Take a few step backs and slow down, even if it costs you money.

EUREKA! It's the SOUL! SOUL! I've been looking for this word for SUCH A LONG TIME! The soul has something to do with intuition. Intuition is the sense-perception of soul?

My intellect is getting me to fall into the same self-defeating pattern as usual. I get so worked up about a topic that I stop taking proper care of my life and when things start to fall apart, the topic I'm passionate about gets washed off by the wave of chores and repairs. Body-soul-heart-mind balance, tsuki. That would be cool.

For the past two days, I have trouble getting myself to the right place, mentally. On the self-care level, the heart prayer provides a background to benchmark my mental capability against and I fell intellectually scattered and progressively more disconnected. Each morning is a struggle before I get into the right mental place. I've been drinking coffee in the previous week so my body may be a little bit dysregulated. While I'm focusing on my spiritual practices, my self-care routines took a noticeable hit. I'm still taking care of my food (cooking and shopping), but my laundry has piled up and I'm not having enough sleep. I also stopped massaging my neck regularly and my sleep quality has decreased. I tried to rest yesterday and while I did manage to take a few naps, I woke up with a minor headache. The body is a temple, I will take a better care of it. __________________ Oh, and my inner critic is getting more active lately. I even started criticizing my wife for her looks. Not cool.